breasfeeding with step children

Hi,

I am expecting twin girls and am really excited!!! I am 32 weeks and Baby A is 5 lbs. 8 ounces and Baby B is 4 lbs. 14 ounces. I have attended a breastfeeding class and have gone to a few LLL meetings. My situation is this . . . I have two step children, an 8 year old SS and a 4 year old SD. They are with us about 50% of the time. Neither of them has ever seen any one breastfeed or heard of it for that matter (before me). I am not comfortable breastfeeding in front of my step son. I plan to feed my twins privately. I have always been very discreet as far as not changing in front of my SS. Any advise on how to handle this situation? So far everyone I've asked has not encountered this situation.

Thanks,
dancerbates

 

I think it will be pretty hard to not breastfeed in front of your SS, especially in the beginning when you will always have a baby attached

You can be pretty modest while breastfeeding, you could always "practice" in private until you are comfortable with the amount of coverage you've got.

I was nervous about nursing in front of my other kids at first, but came to the conclusion that I wanted them to see breastfeeding as a totally natural thing and not something that they (or I) should feel embarassed or uncomfortable about. No one in my family has breastfed, so it was actually hard for me to see breasts as functional, not sexual.

Good luck with your decision!

 

I have not been in this situation, or rather, I don't remember being. I was 10 & 12 when my two brothers were born and I don't remember my mom breastfeeding them, but I do know she did. I think at 4 & 8, your stepchildren should not have any issues with you breastfeeding. I'm sure privacy is a bit different since they are step-kids, but by you breastfeeding it is setting a great role-model for them for when they have kids. Be open and ready when questions come. I think you are in a great position to share what a good thing breastfeeding is. more power to you... HTH!
eta: I missed that the 8 year old is a step son.. but my advice stays the same. Breastfeeding is not sexual and just be open and discreet. Have a light blanket with you to cover. Talk to them about it and stay positive.

 

My sister-in-law bought this thing call the Hooter Hider and she loved it. She could see in from the top as there is a little wire up there that holds the fabric open for only YOU to see in and it's large like a apron almost. She LOVED LOVED LOVED IT! I saw a woman at the park the other day with one and I asked her if it was a Hooter Hider and she swore it was THE best invention ever......

This only helps with your privacy, sorry I can't address the step children question! :hug99:

 

I was going to suggest getting a Hooter Hider, too. I got one, because I never mastered nursing discreetly with my singleton, so I figured it would be even tougher with twins....and my dad will be here visiting a lot, etc., and I just wanted to be comfortable. I've heard great things about it.

Good luck!

 

I have the nursing cover that the PP linked and LOVE it! It might be a little hard to use if you'll be tandem nursing though. I use it now for my singleton.

 

I think it is healthy for children to see women nursing. I mean if it were more common place people would think nursing is the rule instead of the exception. However, I can understand your concerns about being modest. To give you a heads up, my babies HATE with a capital H, having blankets over them. They pull it down and mess with it causing nursing sessions to last longer and they pop off and on. Maybe yours will be different.

 

Hi all,

I want to thank everyone for their wonderful advice. It is the tandem thing that's got me nervous. There is nothing discreet about that. I think I would feel more comfortable with a cover or going into another room at the beginning as we will have several male family members popping in and out.

I guess, I also worry about their birth mother freaking out. She didn't breastfeed and is an extremely modest person. She had a plan of how her children would never see her undressing before they were born! I wish I wasn't so obsessed with this. But, I want to feel comfortable and I have to think about the feelings of their birth mother. I feel that in the beginning, especially, that this is a special bonding time for me and my new little ones and having some quiet, alone time with the baby girls is okay too.

Thanks a million!
dancerbates

 

you will find what works for you. you might have a plan in place, but modify it as you need/want to. i agree that nursing is not something to hide from children, if we do that we could send the message that it is something dirty and shameful, which of course, its not. but of course, nursing in private when your step son is there may be rather nice for you, get some quiet time alone!

something that i didn't count on was the shift in the way i thought about my breasts. they suddenly didn't seem like they belonged to me at all!! so someone seeing them became like no big deal. i will say though, that i am not the most modest person to begin with, so this may not be a universal experience!

 

the tandem thing is hard to be discreet - but I have gotten to where I can do it - like someone else said - practice when the kids are not around - it will be hard not to nurse them around the kids - my girls are 4 months and I almost always have at least one of them latched on - I would spend all day in the other room if I only nursed in private- you will get good at it - I have had grown people come up to my while I am nursing and not realize what is going on -until I say "she's eating right now! step kids w/ a modest mom would be hard - not that I would just sit around with no shirt on around my biological boys
but it does make it a lot easier that they know I breastfeed and have seen me breastfeed and it is not tabu around here at all!!

 

When I was bfing that was the ages of my older DDs. I bfed in front of them all the time but did do so discreetly. I do undersand that it may be different with S-children as well as with little boys. For tandem I would just step into my room while the older 2 were playing. I, too, think it is healthy that they understand its natural and best for your babies. If it were me I would get a good cover and try not to worry.

 

I laugh cause I thought that I'd be discreet too in the beginning and once i got home, I realized that my boobs were out all day... when friends came to visit, they just had to deal with it. it got better and I actually put a shirt on after 2 months, but the first few weeks I was amazed how much my boobs were exposed. My husband loved it ;-)

Just go with the flow and see what happens. you have enough to worry about now.

Teri D