boys in girl clothes

OK, I totally have clothes on the brain... :lol:

The other day at the park there was a ~5 yo boy wearing a bright pink and purple shirt a size or two too small for him, and very worn, probably an old one of his sister's. If I'd seen the mom, I'd have given her a big smile as a fellow veteran of choosing battles! And I thought it was pretty cool of her not to make a big deal of something like that.

Still, I don't know if I'd have the guts to let DS go out like that in DD's clothes. IRL I like being inconspicuous, don't like drawing attention. OTOH, I also think gender lines are often silly and artificial, and don't believe in telling a kid they can't do x because that's only for the other gender.

Where would you draw the line? Would you let your boy(s) go out and play in their sister's clothes?

 

Hmm, I'm thinking about it. On some level, I think it would bother me to have him on a public playground in his sister's clothes.

But, I agree that gender lines can be kind of stupid. Kevan plays dress-up just as enthusiastically as his sisters do, so we have plenty of pictures of him in high heels and tiaras and tutus, LOL. (This is one of my favorites.) He does this at preschool, too, and no one thinks anything of it. And, he's just now starting to get interested in baby dolls, and will pretend to feed them and diaper them. He likes to push the stroller, too.

Kevan doesn't pick his own clothes yet, so it hasn't been an issue, although he does wear a ton of Nadia's hand-me-down T-shirts that are relatively neutral. But, unless it promised to be a battle of epic proportion (in which case I might cave), I'd probably make him put on something of his own before taking him out.

I think there are different levels to this, however. It wouldn't be SUCH a big deal to let him wear the pink sparkly shirt with the purple unicorn on it at a park...but I definitely wouldn't let him wear a pink bikini to the pool. Would you?

 

I let my boys wear my girls' coats alot when we go out. Will used to wear Claire's purple rain coat with blue/pink flowers. Nick loves Izzy's fuzzy pink sweatshirt. Or her brown and pink flowered one. They all have worn pink rain boots. I don't think it's a biggie at all, nor does my husband. However, my MIL absolutely HATES it. She also hates that I let them wear their snow boots in the summer "just because they want to". Really, does it matter? :nea: Not at all.

However, if it was too small for the child, I wouldn't let them wear it. Or if it looked inappropriate on them. I don't let my girls wear too small or inappropriate things, and I won't let my boys. But who cares if it's a little bit girlie.

 

My sons will play dress-up in the house, but honestly, they've never wanted to wear anything that is pink or purple other than when they are playing. Nolie likes orange best and Liam wears whatever I put on him.

Liam did get his fingernails and toenails painted last week when we were on vacation. He was so pleased and had all his cousins in hysterics.

I don't think that I would let my son wear frilly, sparkly clothing out to the playground or the store.

 

Speaking of choosing your battles...

This is an issue that DH feels strongly about. He does not like, and never has liked, Ben wearing Hannah's clothes. He especially does not like when Ben wears Hannah's dress up clothes. So because he feels strongly about it, I try and abide by his wishes.

Go figure though, he didn't have a problem with Ben carrying around a baby doll. Nor does he mind when Ben wears Hannah's princess shoes. It's the frilly clothes that makes him leary.

 

My DS wouldn't dream of it. He's very stern that way, but if he did....I'd go with the flow as much as possible!

 

It wouldn't bother me...but my husband would die. I don't know why he's so against it, but I know he just died anytime I let Luke watch a girly TV show or play with dolls when he was little...he just thought it was insane. I don't know if he'd be any different now that we're older and more laid back..we tend to choose our battles as well...but when Luke was small, no way he would let him wear girls' clothing.

 

i don't know....

there are a few t-shirts they can share which are gender nuetral and sometimes Becca wears jake's shorts..and I think Jake may have a pair of her shorts..

Lately they have been territorial on behalf of the other twin, i.e. "No, that's Becca's..." and he won't wear it.

That said, Jake is drawn to pinks and "girl" colors, not sure why, in his dishes, etc. I'm fine with that, but I guess as much of possible I do try to steer him toward more boy appropriate stuff...i.e. i'm not going to buy him a pink bike. I guess that means I'm not evolved.

On a separate but related note, Jake will only wear shorts because that's all his father wears...I'm hoping come winter, his survival instinct will kick in!

 

I would probably try to entice them into something different, but if they really wanted to wear a pink shirt, I would let them. Fully heterosexual men can look great in pink shirts (of course, they don't usually go for pink sparkles... :lol: ). It would depend on the context and also whether or not I thought they would get made fun of by other kids.

My kids are really into both Dora and Diego (much to my chagrin... I'm more of a Sesame Street kind of gal!). They fell in love with a Dora bicycle today, and if they still love her as much as they do now when they are old enough to actually ride a bike, I would not have a problem buying it for them and letting them ride it. They have their whole life to wrangle with socially-imposed gender expectations. If something little (and coincidentally girly) like wearing a certain shirt brings my sons' hearts joy as small children, I will probably indulge them.

 

Jacob insisted on pink Dora pull-ups before he was night trained.
When DH had emergency surgery, I left them with a friend who has two girls. Jacob threw a fit because I wouldn't let him wear the purple polka dot jammies to preschool the next morning. The jammies weren't clean, otherwise I couldn't have cared less.
Aaron has lady bug rain boots. He often wears them with a pillow case knotted around his next, pretending to be superman.
Both still love to wear my shoes. Both have purses.

I don't get the fuss. I draw the line at clean clothes with no holes. Other than that, I don't care.

 

Becca, you crack me up! and I agree 100%.

Weird thing is my dh is totally relaxed about those kinds of things, he does not care what the kids have on - the only line he draws is at butt naked. anything else is GREAT for the park, store, our backyard, a wedding etc...

 

I guess it depends on what the item is and where we're going. My almost 5 year old DD loves to have her 3 year old brothers play dress up with her. My boys will run around the house, yard, or our end of the block wearing her princess outfits, even her dance recital dresses. Those are the only things of hers they've ever worn though, and I don't let them wear them anywhere else.

However, all last winter each of them had a pair of her old snow boots. One pair was all pink and the other was white with pink trim and Barbie on them. They wore them wherever and whenever needed/appropriate. I didn't care and neither did DH.

 

My MIL tells a story of how my DH asked could he wear a dress. I think he was about 5 yo. His father lost it and had a tantrum saying he will never tolerate his son wearing a dress. However his mother asked him why he wanted to wear a dress and he replied "I want to make it twirl".

I can't remember if she got him the dress or not but it just goes to show there is some reasoning behind the requests of our children even at very young ages. I think if my son wanted to play in his sisters clothes I would let him, but I don't think I would let him go out in public. People are very judgemental and can be very vocal and cruel about their opinions on how you raise your child. I don't think I could handle someone I don't know giving me their opinion. It would anger be too much.

That being said if that is something the parent wouldn't mind if it occured, go for it.

IMHO,
Lindia