Bonding with "his" EMB baby?

I'm really struggling with 2 fussy/colic/reflux babies. One nurses like a champ and the other will only nurse if I have an SNS attached and a shield. So needless to say, that happens maybe once a day. Otherwise she gets bottles from DH or whoever is helping. My problem is I hardly ever get to hold her. DH takes her all night while I deal with the nurser. I feel like she won't know I am her mother. Did anyone else feel this way? Did it get better when they were older?

 

mine are only 5 weeks old but i posted a post almost exactly like yours a couple of weeks ago. i am a single mother and i moved in with my parents during my pregnancy so they could help me, and my mom mostly takes care of sadie, and i mostly take care of sadie. i too am concerned that sadie will not know i'm her mother and i feel extremely guilty about not spending as much time with her. i got lots of reassurance from the replies that the babies dont remember this phase, and it will get easier to spend time with both of them soon. so sorry that i dont have any outcomes to tell you about, but i just wanted to give you hugs and let you know that i'm in the same boat and i'm sure there are lots more of us out there. we just have to do what we can to survive at this point.
amy

 

The first 3-4 months are survival mode, be thankful that you have the help and rest assure your little one knows you and loves you very much.

You are doing a great job!

 

[SIZE=10pt] :love0028:

I felt this way at times with DS ~ DD nursed all the time, while DS would nurse and be done. DD was also more fussy/colic for a little while, so I would be holding/rocking/walking with her constantly. I felt so bad for DS.

I would try and hold/play with DS for at least 10 minutes here and there "no matter what" ~ DH would hold/walk/rock DD. There were plenty of times that DD would still be crying and such, but I felt that I needed to 'bond' with DS

Now that they're older ~ DS is my total snuggler He'll walk over to me and give me a kiss out of the blue :yahoo: Whereas DD is too busy doing other things to bother. It's definitely on her terms

It will get better ~ you're going through a rough time now.

April [/SIZE]

 

I breastfeed DS and formula feed DD and I am definately more bonded to DS. I try to spend lots of quality time with DD. I had to use a nipple shield for 3 months b\c babies could not latch on. DD definately knows me and wants me if she needs something. I would just do what you have to to survive for right now.

 

This is all good to hear. Last night the EBM baby was screaming and I could not get her to stop. DH took her and she quieted right down. Just about broke my heart.

 

QUOTE(MissyEby @ Jul 20 2008, 12:53 PM) [snapback]885923[/snapback]
The first 3-4 months are survival mode, be thankful that you have the help and rest assure your little one knows you and loves you very much.

You are doing a great job!



This is what I think too! You bond with your baby in many ways, feeding is only one them!

 

:hug99: of course she will know you are her Mother. Hang in there.

 

I had such a hard time nursing both of mine for the first couple of months. I pumped and bottle fed most of the day so whoever was there to help fed them. Eventually I got the hang of it and they both nursed like champs until they were 9 months and I don't think it affected our bonding at all. This can be a very emotional time but try not to let these details get to you, you will most definitley bond with your babies!!! Hang in there and just keep trying to nurse and it will all work itself out.