Bonding with babies after c-section

Much to my dismay it is looking more and more like I will be having a c-section with this pregnancy ( due to Twin A being breech) I have been having nightmares about going through a c-section and feeling completely disconnected to my babies right afterwards. I am really worried that I won't be able to have that bonding experience that you get with a natural birth. Anyone out there that has had a c-section before with any advice or experiences would be wonderful. How did you make it a good experience where you felt involved and connected? I don't want to be depressed right after they get here. What can I do?

 

Like you, I was scared to death that I wouldn't bond with my babies as strongly because I had to have a c-section and wouldn't get to hold them immediately like with a vaginal birth. I had severe pre-eclampsia so as soon as the babies were born, I was on Mag for almost 3 days. Mag makes you really loopy and out of it, but, I can tell you, that the first thing that came out of my mouth the morning after my c-section (it had been at 10:45 the previous night) was, "I have to go see my babies!" I couldn't walk. I had still had the mag drip. But the nurses put me in a wheelchair and I went to the NICU. I sat in the WC and they let me hold both of my babies. I can tell you that I bonded with both of them in that very moment. I am crying right now just typing this because the feelings were so overwhelming. My babies were so beautiful and so tiny and all mine. :wub: They were going to be okay...all of the fears that I had had about giving birth to them at 34 weeks disappeared. I honestly don't believe had I been able to give birth vaginally that my bonding could have been any stronger! You will bond with them so beautifully no matter how you give birth to them!

 

Of course you will bond with them! I had a scheduled C-section, and I think the one advantage is that you are not absolutely exhausted after hours and hours of labor, but are just ready to enjoy them immediately. I did! Bonding is a weird thing. Some of my friends who had very difficult vaginal deliveries did not bond with their baby for days after the birth because it was such a negative experience. It is a myth that everyone bonds immediately with their baby. Everyone is different. Especially with two, you will be looking from one to the other and back to the first! If you breastfeed and when you cuddle them, you will bond with them during the first days and weeks. You are going to get a lot of 2-on-1 time with them in the first 6 weeks, LOL!

 

Talk about not having bonding time, mine were in the NICU for 8 weeks. But that doesn't mean I wasn't able to bond with them it was just in a different way. Try not to worry about it too much. That bond is already there!

I don't feel any less love towards my two because we didn't get that "bonding time" right after birth.

 

Absolutely! We had lots of time to be together and I quickly felt better the next day. Even that first day I held them a lot and touched their little faces and hands and feet. :wub: I'm gonna cry now. :cray:

 

Your their Mom of course you'll bond with them! I had a c-sec not by choice, I had HELLP syndrome and pre-e and had an emergency section, If I go through it again (pregnancy) I will definitely choose that option, it was not that bad (for me, I can't speak for all) Mine were also in the NICU (33 weekers and 1 1/2 hours away from home) and I still bonded with them just fine, you just do it in another way until you are healed fromyour section and they are home. Besides they aren't going to remember the first few weeks anyway let alone the first few months of their life. I found the sleep deprivation (once we were ALL home from the hospital) much harder than the c-sec, and the meds helped alot too!

 

I had a c-section. I was in the hospital for 2-1/2 weeks prior for pre-eclampsia so I had no idea until that morning that I was going to have them that day. I connected to them immediately upon hearing their first cries. And, I had wanted DH to stay in the OR with me while they sewed me up but once they came out I sent him to be with them. They were in the NICU for 3 days while I was recovering. After the c-section I was still numb from the waist down so I couldn't go see them but my mom, FIL and DH did and they brought me pictures. The next morning I was determined to go down the hall and see them. I was wheeled down and got to hold them for the first time. The experience was so surreal. Here were these two little bundles and they were mine. The following day while my DH was at work I walked to the NICU to feed them. Let me tell you, you get determined to make it there and see your babies. And, they know that you are there. There was never a time that I felt disconnected from them. The minute that they were born my mommy instincts kicked in.

Don't worry about the c-section and not bonding. Once you hear your babies' cries and you see their little faced you will be in love. And, you will bond with them as soon as it is physically possible to do it.

 

I did, my babies roomed in and we got to hang! It was great!

 

Well I don't know any different but I cannot imagine there being any greater bond. My babies went with daddy for the first hour or so while I was in recovery, and then they were in our room for the rest of the time. We BOTH got to bond with them right away.

 

I was in recovery for 4 hours after my section and from the mag was asleep most of the day...when I finally had a moment of coherence at midnight the nurses brought me them in and we bonded nearly 12 hours after the section - trust me you will bond with them the first time you see them whether its 12 minutes, 12 hours or 12 days!

 

In my experience, bonding doesn't necessarily correlate to how you give birth.

Our girls were born vaginal, but spent 2 wks in the nicu. It took me until they were home for a couple weeks to really begin bonding. Many moms don't "bond" right away with their babies. It doesn't make you a bad mom. Beleive me, you will bond and love your kids no matter what. Just try not to be disappointed if it doesn't happen instantly.

 

Absolutely!!
With my first dd, I had a vaginal birth...went through some ppd... never really felt bonded with her or even that I loved her until she was around 4 months old... I mean I "knew" I loved her, but I didn't really feel any overwhelming emotion about it...

With my twins, as soon as they were born, via c/s...in the split second that they were rushed by me, I fell totally in love... the tears just totally gushed..and it wasn't from being upset...it was "love at first sight"...I was overwhelmed by the emotion. (and I'm not an emotional person normally!!)... I saw them about an hour later...after I had been stitched up and all three of us had stabilized our temps... I did request to see them, so I don't know if it would have taken longer had I not spoken up.. (just telling you this, so you know that you have the right to see your children!!) The nurses brought them to me right in recovery and I tandem nursed them for the first time right then. They did great... my milk came in on day two..whereas with my first it came in on day 7.. So in my experience my bonding and bf went much more smoothly the second time around with c/s than it did the first time around with vag delivery!

 

P.S.... does an adoptive mother bond with her child...whom she has not birthed...and maybe never even held until that child is months or even years old???.... yes, any adoptive parent can testify that the bond is very strong.... So no matter how long it takes to see your baby, don't get psyched out by it... you will love your baby..and the feeling will grow if it's not instantaneous... Regardless of how you feel initially it does take time to get to know your baby. It takes weeks or even months to really see their personality come out. So the bond you have with them will change over time anyway.

 

QUOTE(AppleDumplings @ Aug 17 2007, 09:12 PM) [snapback]372247[/snapback]
Like you, I was scared to death that I wouldn't bond with my babies as strongly because I had to have a c-section and wouldn't get to hold them immediately like with a vaginal birth. I had severe pre-eclampsia so as soon as the babies were born, I was on Mag for almost 3 days. Mag makes you really loopy and out of it, but, I can tell you, that the first thing that came out of my mouth the morning after my c-section (it had been at 10:45 the previous night) was, "I have to go see my babies!" I couldn't walk. I had still had the mag drip. But the nurses put me in a wheelchair and I went to the NICU. I sat in the WC and they let me hold both of my babies. I can tell you that I bonded with both of them in that very moment. I am crying right now just typing this because the feelings were so overwhelming. My babies were so beautiful and so tiny and all mine. :wub: They were going to be okay...all of the fears that I had had about giving birth to them at 34 weeks disappeared. I honestly don't believe had I been able to give birth vaginally that my bonding could have been any stronger! You will bond with them so beautifully no matter how you give birth to them!



This was my EXACT experience -- I too delivered by csection at 34w due to pre-e. And I couldn't agree more - you will bond with them without even trying!!!!

 

I have had both vaginal births and one c-section and I bonded equally with the babies. In all of the cases(except Hannah, she went straight to the nicu) as soon as the nurses were done with the babies, they came straight to me. Good luck with your delivery!

 

Ditto the PP about having babies both ways, and still bonding. My singleton was vaginal after 23 hours, and I was exhausted but in love the moment I laid eyes on her. My twins were c-section, and I was scared about the surgery, but seeing them made my fear fly away, and I couldn't wait until I was out of recovery and could hold them instead of just giving them a kiss. I delivered at 39 weeks, and both nurses brought my new babies over to me to see and give them a kiss. Love at first sight - all three of my girls - although I know that isn't the case for some Moms. You bond when it's the right time.

 

I barely even SAW Ainsley for four days. She was rushed to another hospital, and literally all I got was a quick view of her before she was wheeled out, then I didn't see her until I was released.
It did not affect bonding at all! Don't worry about it. I had a totally awful birth experience and am very bonded to my babies. It might take a little time, or it might happen right away. The type of birth doesn't matter.

 

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. I feel a lot better now. I think I have the first-time-mom-going-to-have-twins jitters. I'm such a worry wort! Hearing all your stories makes me even more excited to meet my little girls Thx again!!

 

I'm glad you posted this - I was just thinking about this today since I am also likely going to have a c-section next week. I was able to hold my DD right afer vaginal delivery last year and it was such a neat experience! I was wondering how or when in the world was I going to be able to hold the babies?

Glad to hear that the bonding won't be affected from the other moms!