Biting

My Jacob has started biting again the past few days. When Noah tries to get close to me when Jacob is with me or when Noah has a toy Jacob wants. Jacob will turn behind him and begin trying to bite Noah. Most of the time I can stop it before it happens but, yesterday Jacob chomped Noah's cheek. It is a nice little bruise this morning.

I have told Jacob, No bite, bad. He cries and then after a few minutes I soothe him and tell him it is bad to bite. I have even isolated him in a "timeout" situation for a minute or two.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to redirect this behavior at this young age?

 

I had a problem with hair pulling with DS and it sounds similar to your situation. He would do it when he got frustrated at his sister or if he wanted my attention. I would immediately say, “NO!” and then I would pick up DD and console her. I would turn my back to DS and give extra attention to DD for a few seconds. He stopped after a month or two, I think he realized I wasn’t going to give him any attention when he did that behavior. Good Luck.

 

At that age, redirecting is still your best tool. I don't think time-outs do any good. We did something similar to PP -- say "no biting!" to the biter, then comfort the bitee, then redirect/comfort the biter.

I've read (in various books and websites) that biting is scary to the biter as well as the bitee, because it is a loss of control. With older kids, biting can be a form of aggression, but with infants and young toddlers, it's more of an instinctive thing when they feel threatened or hurt. So, you should make it clear that the behavior is unacceptable, but remember that the biter often needs to be comforted as well.

I've also noticed that Amy bites a LOT more when she is teething. (Sarah almost never bites, whether teething or not.) So if we haven't seen her try to bite Sarah for a couple of weeks, and then she does it 3x in one morning, she gets some Tylenol, which helps a lot.

 

Double post, sorry.

 

We are having the same problem here with Coleman. It's almost always when Sam has a toy he wants. Sometimes he will scratch instead of bite. We have been doing what pps suggested. It's tough because I tend to get really mad/upset with him because Sam is totally innocent in these situations and I don't want to see him bullied. Sometimes if he has a toy Coleman wants and he sees Coleman approaching him, he will let out a little yelp, drop the toy and move away - he knows he's about to be bit/scratched. It's really sad, I can't stand it.

Any advice from moms who have been there is appreciated...

Michelle

 

When Gregory bit me at about 15 months old, I immediately bit him right back in the same place he bit me... gently, but just enough to hurt a little. He looked at me with a look of shock... he did not cry since I was gentle... but we kissed each other's bites. I hate saying that I did that. :unsure: But he has not bitten anyone since. He was an only child, so the attention thing would not work. DH & I decided to try that tactic if/ when it happened, ahead of time.

With the twins, we had the option of the attention thing. But the gentle bite back worked so well for Gregory, I did it with both of them too. For Josh it worked. For Zach, slower to communicate verbally, it did not work. He would SNEAK bites. I made him kiss his brother and touched his brother's "owie" and said OUCH. I explained the tears were because he hurt his brother and asked if he wanted to hurt his brother. He said NO. I asked if he was going to bite again and he said NO. It re- occured a few months later. But with the same treatment, would go away for another few months. We still get a bite here and there in a big cat fight... but nothing habitual.

I think it shows anger or frustration. Now that they are old enough to understand to use their words, I take that route... but at the younger age, the reflex of getting a bite back seemed easier for them to understand what they were doing.