Biting Again

Brandon is at it again Biting Dylan when he has something that B wants and Dylan wont give it up. We have been bite free for a few weeks and he did it last night and again this afternoon. I yelled at him and told him no bitting its not nice and it hurts. He then had a time out in his crib. When I took him out I said teeth are only for eatting and then gave them lunch.

I know there have been lots of posts on biting and I read in one that the "underdog" is the one doing the biting. That so not the case in this household the underdog is the one getting bit. Usually Dylan just gives up the toy maybe for fear hes going to get bit but latley hes been fighing to hang onto to something and Brandon bites him to get it away.

The only time he ever bites is when he wants something that Dylan has. Brandon has never bit Dh or I or anyone else in the family but Dylan and when we go to the rec center and someone takes something away he does not try to bite them either. I know its developmental at this age but I'm really getting sick of Dylan gettting hurt.

I know theres no advice on how to make him stop just in preventing it but I cant always get there in time to stop it. I dont believe the reason he does it is b/c hes hungry (he asks for food when he is if its not a meal time) I dont believe the reason is b/c he cant say what he wants and I know the reason is not teething. He just wants something he cant have and thats not acceptable.

Thanks for letting me vent

 

dd had bitten ds several times about 6 months ago and then stopped!!! WOO HOO!! Then yesterday I had my back turned while I was making them lunch and they were eating in their chairs. Suddenly ds was crying adn sure enough there was a bite mark welting up on his cheek!!!

UGH!!!!

I feel for you!!

 

Hopefully, this phase will end again soon! It's so frustrating for them and for us as moms! My Bell has started biting occasionally as well. It's because she's frustrated and wants something and can't vocalize her needs. It's hard on me because thats a definite bad habit that we don't want to continue!

Oops, just read the part about him being able to vocalize his needs. Is he getting a payoff for biting then? Is he getting what he wants at that point?

I don't really have any advise other than keep telling them no, it hurts to bite and redirect.

 

He does get what he wants when he bites. When Brandon bites Dylan He will let go or drop what ever he had a hold of.

I saw a suggestion to bite back and I swore I would never do that and I have never but I am begining to wonder if he just does not know that it hurts and If I did it back he would see that it does and stop. I have been wondering for months and still have not done it I dont know if I would ever be able to do so.

 

Gosh, I don't know what to tell ya. I'm not a real fan of biting back, but if you've tried everything else and nothing else works, you have to do something. Do u take the toy away from Brandon when he gets it by those means? Maybe toys need to be taken away from the biter. Gosh, it's so hard to know at that age.

 

QUOTE(nikki_0724 @ May 11 2007, 03:23 PM) [snapback]251998[/snapback]
I saw a suggestion to bite back and I swore I would never do that and I have never but I am begining to wonder if he just does not know that it hurts and If I did it back he would see that it does and stop. I have been wondering for months and still have not done it I dont know if I would ever be able to do so.


My MIL did this while she was watching my kids one day (I was not happy at all). She said it didn't work and Gabe actually laughed at her when she did it.

I know it's frustrating to have a biter. Gabe bit Natalie and a few other kids at daycare when he was about 11-15 months old. What helped the most, besides consistency in saying "no bite" and redirecting, was teaching him to take turns. I spent several days sitting on the floor with a few prized toys "teaching" them to share. I would give the toy to one child while the other watched. I explained that it was his or her turn and waited a minute. After a minute was up, I told that child that it was the other's turn and they should give the toy to their brother/sister. We did this for awhile before it really sunk in. Now, when Natalie has something that Gabe wants, Gabe will yell "turn, turn." Then I can go and referee a bit and make sure Gabe gets a turn and doesn't resort to biting.

HTH! And I hope this phases passes for you soon!

 

QUOTE(Gabe+2more @ May 11 2007, 07:33 PM) [snapback]252012[/snapback]
Gosh, I don't know what to tell ya. I'm not a real fan of biting back, but if you've tried everything else and nothing else works, you have to do something. Do u take the toy away from Brandon when he gets it by those means? Maybe toys need to be taken away from the biter. Gosh, it's so hard to know at that age.



The toy or what ever it is is taken right away from the biter and off to his crib he goes. The toy is given right back to Dylan in front of Brandon as well.

QUOTE(rosie19 @ May 11 2007, 07:38 PM) [snapback]252017[/snapback]
My MIL did this while she was watching my kids one day (I was not happy at all). She said it didn't work and Gabe actually laughed at her when she did it.

I know it's frustrating to have a biter. Gabe bit Natalie and a few other kids at daycare when he was about 11-15 months old. What helped the most, besides consistency in saying "no bite" and redirecting, was teaching him to take turns. I spent several days sitting on the floor with a few prized toys "teaching" them to share. I would give the toy to one child while the other watched. I explained that it was his or her turn and waited a minute. After a minute was up, I told that child that it was the other's turn and they should give the toy to their brother/sister. We did this for awhile before it really sunk in. Now, when Natalie has something that Gabe wants, Gabe will yell "turn, turn." Then I can go and referee a bit and make sure Gabe gets a turn and doesn't resort to biting.

HTH! And I hope this phases passes for you soon!


The funny thing about these two is that sometimes they share really well actaully picking up 2 things and giving one to the other so they each have something to play with. I have even seen them both take a toy they thought was interesting and offer a trade for the toy they want. but this does not happen all the time hence the biting.

 

QUOTE(nikki_0724 @ May 11 2007, 03:42 PM) [snapback]252023[/snapback]
The toy or what ever it is is taken right away from the biter and off to his crib he goes. The toy is given right back to Dylan in front of Brandon as well.
The funny thing about these two is that sometimes they share really well actaully picking up 2 things and giving one to the other so they each have something to play with. I have even seen them both take a toy they thought was interesting and offer a trade for the toy they want. but this does not happen all the time hence the biting.



Well, then, I think you are on the right track with what you are doing. You are explaining it to him (even if he doesn't quite "get" it just yet), you are using the time-out process and you are not rewarding the behavior you are trying to stop. Therefore, it sounds to me like you are doing a great job... it's just going to take some time. I know that is very frustrating, especially when one of your children is getting hurt. We're going through a similar phase right now... Gabe pushes, steals food and steals toys from Natalie. For awhile, Natalie would cry, but now she's not even putting up a fight. She just gets very sad. It's driving me nuts because unless I stay with them every minute of the day, I can't deal with every offense and thus be consistent. And, sometimes, I really want her to just stand up for herself so that other kids don't do this to her too. It's so hard to watch DD be hurt by her brother, but everyone keeps telling me this is a phase and that they will grow in and out of it as they get older.