Birthday party's

Here's our dilema: Ever since we moved here 2 years ago when the babies were 6 weeks old, DH and I really haven't made any friends. Our neighborhood is not very kid friendly in that there's a bunch of older couples that live in it. We do love our next door neighbors, but don't 'hang out' with them and they're kids are in their 40's already.. Due to our positions at our jobs, neither of us really hangs out with our co-workers either, even though some of them do have kids, etc we just would rather keep the lines clear as to professional/personal relationships. We also don't have any family in the immediate area (closest is 6 hours away) We also are not friends with any of the parents from daycare. Sure, we say Hi and Bye every morning/evening, but we don't sit and chat and make friends that we go hang out with later... Basically, with having had 3 babies in the last 2 years, we've been either to busy or to exhausted to make any new friends.

That leaves us with a dilema. What do we do for their b-day party?? They will be turning 3. The last 2 years hasn't really been an issue. My mom came out for their 2nd bday plus they had a little party at daycare.

Would you just let them have their little party at daycare and then just a small family gathering (just mommy daddy and brother?) or would you have another outside party and invite kids from their daycare class, even though you're not friends with their parents and don't really know them??

I don't want them to not have a party and feel unimportant, that just plain sucks. I want them to feel like their birtday means everything to everybody. But at 3, are they really going to care??

What would/have you do/done??

 

I would probably have a kid party with the kids from daycare. That way you can meet, and talk to some of the parents. Who knows, you may find that some feel the same way that you do, and are also looking for friends. When I invite the kids friends from school, I don't know the parents--most of them. It is about the kids friends, not my friends.

 

I haven't been in your position, but think that whatever you do to make their day special will be great!! I think once they get into school they will start making friends and can let you know who to invite. Are you close with any of the other daycare kids/parents?? If not, then why not do something special as a family to honor their day. You could finish it off with a dinner out so they can be sung to at a restaurant. There are plenty of ways to make their day special without throwing a party.

 

I agree with PP -- I would have a party with kids from daycare and not worry that you don't know the parents. The kids will know the kids...

 

I think at 3 years old, they don't know any different, so I wouldn't worry about it. I would just have a party with siblings and parents and have fun. Their day will be special because you make it special. We let each of our children choose their favorite restaurant and we celebrate there (So far, it's only been Chuck E Cheese. We take a little cake and their presents and have our own little celebration. Our kids - my oldest is almost 5, have yet to ask about having a party with other kids present) If you never go out to eat, you can let your kids feel special by letting them choose all the meals for the day - no rules! (it's just one day!) When they are in school, they will have classmates that are friends and you can invite them.

On the other hand, if you are looking for a good way to meet other parents, then having a party with daycare kids would be a great way. But, if the only reason you're contemplating that is because you're worried about your little ones not feeling special because they aren't having a bigger party with lots of people, I just wouldn't worry about it.

 

They won't really know at 3 yrs. old. When they enter preschool, you'll be better able to do stuff with those kids and meet their parents. That's actually where I am making friends right now! I have a nice group that I have fostered! Unfortunately, you'll have to invest some of your precious weekend time to making friends. At this age, it's WORK! It's WORTH IT, but you have to really work at it!

 

I would invite the daycare class, especially if the other kids in the class have had parties where they invited the class. It was pretty standard for 3rd birthdays at our daycare -- only a couple of kids had family-only parties. I disagree that they won't know the difference. Of course they will be fine if you don't have a big party, it's not like they'll be scarred for life, but they will hear their daycare friends talking about birthday parties and (if they're anything like my kids) they'll want to have their friends at their party too.

Also, the only way you will get to know the other parents is if you spend time with them. I can understand being tired, but it sounds like you regret that you don't know more people -- so you might as well begin with the people whose kids are already friends with your kids. I've found it much easier to make friends (and I'm very introverted) with other parents than in any other situation.

 

My twins are going to be 3 soon as well, and they have always had a big party with family/friends, but last year I invited just a few children from daycare that I know they play with a lot, and whose parents I would see dropping off or picking up. These are also the children who have a bday within a couple months of the twins, so they are moving from classroom to classroom together as they get older. (as opposed to the children who are 6+ months older who will probably switch to the next class up soon after my kids get to that class)

Last year none of the invited children showed up, which was only maybe 4-5 kids, but two of them brought a gift to school b/c they couldnt make the party. (which I thought was VERY nice!) But in my experience with my older children, it seems that a lot of the parents dont do parties for daycare kids until about 4 yrs old.

So, personally if I was in your situation I would invite kids from the daycare (maybe not every one in their class though) and just see what happens. Maybe have a day planned for the celebration with the daycare kids, and have a seperate day planned with just the family to do something special. That way, even if none of the other children RSVP, you still have a day to celebrate with the family.

Also, if you dont want to risk going all out of your way to plan a party and have no one show up, you could put a disclaimer in the invitations. . . .something like, there must be at least 5 RSVP's in order for the party to happen, so please RSVP asap. And get a phone # for the ones who do RSVP in case you need/want to cancel due to not having enough kids coming. (not sure if thats something you would want to do but its an idea)

 

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If not, then why not do something special as a family to honor their day. You could finish it off with a dinner out so they can be sung to at a restaurant. There are plenty of ways to make their day special without throwing a party.

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On the other hand, if you are looking for a good way to meet other parents, then having a party with daycare kids would be a great way. But, if the only reason you're contemplating that is because you're worried about your little ones not feeling special because they aren't having a bigger party with lots of people, I just wouldn't worry about it.

I agree with these two posts. I think if you want a way to make friends with other parents then having a party would be a good start to that. If you're not that worried about making friends then just do something special as a family, I'm sure your kids will enjoy it just as much.
I can tell you that when Naomi and Luke turned 4 the only celebration they had was at a pizza restaurant. It was them, their parents and me. I brought their presents with me and they opened them while we waited for food and they each had a candle in their ice-cream so we could sing to them. Over a year later they still talk about it so I think they must have had a pretty good time!

 

Do something for their birthday whether it means a small family gathering or an actual party with other kids. I don't think it matters either way. If you make it special for them, then they will remember it! How about taking them to Chuck E. Cheese with a few friends from their daycare? That way you could get to know a few parents or if you're not comfortable with that, maybe just take them yourselves. I am sure they will have a blast either way.

 

I agree with Tothemoon's post. We just had a small family party at home and made it special with cake and gifts and I sent some cupcakes/hats to school when they had their third birthday. We had their first birthday party at 4.