Best pieces of advice for new twin mommies!

I was thinking about what i wish someone would have told me about before I had my babies and some of the biggest things would be:

Miracle swaddle blankets are worth the money
Get a white noise machine - walmart in Canada has cheap ones
Babies can only be awake 60-90min before they need to go down for a nap (wish I would have known this earlier, I didn't learn it until they were like 8wks old!).
Whatever they are doing right now, it is a stage and it will pass, it does get better.

 

I would say-
Its never as bad as other people tell you it will be
Its okay if one is crying while you deal with the other one
Everyone in the street has a story about twins and they all desperately need to tell you!
Do what feels right and only take the advice you like because it seems everyone is an expert
Enjoy your twins they are a miracle and it goes too quick

 

Try to follow the AAP suggestions - especially regarding SIDS

 

Take lots of pictures and video when they are super tiny! We have very few pictures of the girls after we brought them home from the NICU. We were so focused on keeping them alive (I know a little dramatic), that we totally forgot about the cameras. I wish I had more pictures of them from that time.

Also, remember that they will eventually sleep through the night and get into a routine. The chaos that you feel when you first bring them home is only temporary. Try to enjoy the moment even if you are delerious from sleep deprivation.

 

SLEEP WHEN THEY SLEEP!!!
don't worry so much about a schedule in the beginning, it will come with time
if you need a break from teh crying, put them in their cribs (where they're safe) adn step outside for a few minutes to get some air
you WILL get a good night's sleep again!
accept help when offered
the early days of no sleep, constant fussing/crying, not knowing what is wrong, not knowing what to do, up at 2am watching infomercials with 2 wide eyed infants, driving babies around at 3am to get them to sleep.... all becomes a distant memory before you know it.
while changing a diaper, beware that babies can shoot poop across a room!
just know that when they're teeny tiny newborns, and they can't sleep, and you've tried everything to get them to calm down, they are new in the world, and the world is new to them, and they're just trying to figure out how to survive in that world. so hold them close and let them know they're safe with you

 

Ditto the miracle blankets, white noise machine, accepting help, and take lots of pictures/videos!

Also, if you are a SAHM try to get out of your house a little each day, even if it's just for a quiet walk around the block with the babies.

 

Remember - caring for two infants is HARD WORK and regardless of what you think - you ARE doing a good job
It's ok to cry whenever you want.
It's likely if the person you are talking to has not had twins(or triplets, lol), they will not and can not understand. So just get on TS and vent/chat etc, we all understand.
Don't do anything in the beginning when you have help that you cant carry on with on your own.(ie, I never rocked the twins to sleep, or allowed anyone else to for longer than 1 night in a row. lol)
People will stare and talk about you and your children, often when you are still in earshot.

Good Luck.

ETA - make sure YOU get in the pictures, don't always be the one behind the camera.

 

My advice is to take time for yourself when the babies nap the first few months - whether it's to sleep, read a book, watch tv, anything you enjoy. Cleaning can wait (although obviously laundry and dishes can't).

 

Hire a housekeeper if you can afford it.

Try to buy toys that have a large span... eg. 6 months- 36 months Look into the larger toys for later because some have blocks, balls that they could play with early on. You get more use out of the toys.

Zippered sleepers (Carters, Children's Place) or few snap buttons that are easy to unsnap.

Save your money on the Diaper gene and just use a garbage pail with bags. (easier, cheaper, smells less)

Lamaze toys with lots going on, and the crinkle stuff. Small stuffed animals or your palm sized toys for little hands

Breastfeeding is possible -- check out the breastfeeding forum... and even the most supportive people will not always be supportive or say the right thing

Buy clothes you don't need to iron and clothes they could possibly sleep in as well. Buy the best sleepers because often they just might not make it into regular clothes that day.

Watch out for a delayed "nesting" when you first arrive home where you need to clean everything. For those with a c/s watch lifting the stroller.

TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES OF YOU WITH THE BABIES !! Ask everyone who comes into the house to take a picture.

heather

 

It's not cruel to let them cry it out!! I learned this only a few weeks ago. You want to learn this before you loose a years worth of sleep!!

The housecleaning can wait because BABIES GROW WAY TOO QUICKLY!! My Mother would tell me this when I would cry from being so tired & I just never beleived it until now. My babies will be a year in less than 3 weeks! I want that time back!

Take ME time! You'll be calmer in the long run!

Sleep when they sleep & try to get a schedule soon!

Take LOTS of picturs & date them!! Also, take pics next to objects to show how small they really are and so you can look back and say, "Wow!"

QUOTE
Enjoy your twins they are a miracle and it goes too quick

So true!
Enjoy!

 

Wrap babies - they sleep so much better....

Expect the first 12 weeks to be a complete BLUR !!... I still can't remember much about it.... can't remember when or more importantly where I slept (woke many a night having fallen asleep on the floor next to the babies cot).....

And it does get easier.... I PROMISE...

Our girls are nearly 5 months old - and I have hit my strides and am absolutely LOVING IT....

 

- Beat your DH over the head with a stick if he doesn't help you. :lol:
- If you have someone offering help, ask them to sit with the babies while you go tidy up or just take a quick nap or even a walk. It works wonders to be away from them for a little while too, and no reason to feel guilty about it.
- Don't be too quick to reject advice... you never know when someone says something which could help you in a way you never dreamed of.
- Now that you have babies your house will never look the same again, so a little mess and sometimes even a big mess is not a bad thing.
- You need to be in the pictures too.. and don't forget those family shots.
- There is no perfect way to do anything with two babies on your hands, just the way you feel most comfortable doing it.
- Enjoy those quiet moments with them.. the first year goes by WAY too quickly.

And last but not least...

Husbands work well if given detailed lists.

 

*Definitely invest in miracle blankets. They may seem expensive, but you will get your money's worth and then some. (We are still using them at 5 mos.)

*White noise helps everyone sleep! We have a fan that is not pointed at us in every bedroom in my house. It is very helpful to sleep.

*Try to put the babies down in their crib from day #1. (It took my dh and I quite a few tries to get this one right. Our first 3 were terrible sleepers and dd3 still sleeps with us!)

*Double snap-n-go is a great purchase!

*If you have other children, try to be organized well before the babies are born b/c things do tend to fall apart a bit when the twins arrive!

*Don't be afraid to ask for-and accept- help.

*Always remember, "The days are long, but the years are short."!

 

Keep them on a schedule and feeding them around the same time will allow you to get more rest.

Having two is not as bad as it sounds.

 

Strollers that snap in the car seats - wonderful!
2 swings - a must.
Mat/gym also a must.
Get help from family/friend...ask them to do whatever will give you the break you need (ie: if cleaning will give you a break from the babies have them watch the babies, If you want some one on one with a baby...)
Go for a walk with them everyday while the weather is good.
Get a good ped who expects calls.
Do what you need to to survive when it comes to sleep - read Dr. Sears "The Baby Sleep Book" His Baby book is also really helpful.
If you are BFing, experiment with tandum and find a set up that works for you.
Trust your instincts.
It goes by really quickly so do take pictures/video because some of it will be a blur!!

 

From my 10 mos of experience, I would say..

always have your camera nearby
Stock up on bibs, thought we had too many when we got over 50. I know now, that they come in handy.
Be prepared for constant mood changes. One will be happy while the other is fussy, then roles will reverse. Then both will be happy or fussy etc etc....
sometime during the first month you will say to yourself "I want this part to be over" enjoy it while you can, because it does go fast and it DOES get better!
You will find they are very good entertainment for you, even better than going to a theater show
considering the extra cost with supplies and baby needs, I would NEVER give up being twin mommy for anything. It is without doubt the best thing!! I never wanted it to happen, but I'm so glad it did

 

Hmmm...I think everyone has mentioned all of the stuff I could think of but here is one tidbit:

If you can before the babies are born, talk with your DH about your expectations of each other as parents, it makes it go much smoother afterwards. I expected DH to be as much of a father as I am a mother, in other words, there is nothing that I do he can't do

Take some time for just you and your DH too!

 

The very best advice I got from someone here on TS when I was at my breaking point of no sleep was...
If possible dh and you sleep in shifts...dh has baby duty from 8-12 while you sleep and you have baby duty from 1-6 while dh sleeps. This allowed me to get 5 straight hours of sleep as well as dh which we both needed in the worst way!

 

I also recommend the Miracle Blankets. Our girls sleep so well in them. I'm dreading the day we give them up. Try to keep them on the same feeding schedule, so you can get some rest. I use bouncy seats and prop their bottles with a blanket. I was tandem nursing at the beginning. It saves so much time feeding them together. Also, I agree to do shifts at night. Even when I was nursing, my dh would do one of the feedings, so I could get 4-5 hours of solid sleep. It was amazing how much better I felt after that. Remember that even when it seems so hard, it will get easier. I would say somewhere between 8-12 weeks, it got so much better for me. Once they give you that first smile, it makes it all worth it. I don't remember much from the beginning, but I do have lots of pictures and videos. Sadly, I'm not in most of them. Make sure to get out of the house at least once a week by yourself. If anyone offers to babysit or help, take them up on it.

 

we have a box fan in their room facing a wall. it does wonders and i dont have to tip toe around the house.

listen to them, read them, and go by their reactions to things.

double snap n go is AWESOME

if you need to put 1 screaming in the crib and take a breather, its okay- i just learned that.

it's not as bad as it seems- but there are moments!!!

enjoy them, kiss them, stare at them while they sleep cuz they grow so fast

dont buy 2 of everything, wait it out to see what they like. i have 2 swings and 2 bounceys sitting in the living room, never being used.

 

Just do the best you can. When the hard times come just know they won't last forever. It is okay to not know everything, learning as you go works too Babies and schedules are forever changing. I spent first two months racing around trying to do everything, looking back I wish I would have just taken more time to hold them. I am making up for it now with lots of hugs and kisses.