Being pregnant after having twins

Hi
My hubby and I are thinking about TTC....maybe starting this month! I'm so excited....I was just wondering how hard it is being preggo and having twins running around. My girls are just about 18 months right now. I work part time as a teacher and my parents take care of my girls while I'm working. Does anyone have any advice about having a baby after twins or how hard it is being pregnant with little ones? Is there a "perfect" amount of time to wait after having twins to make it easier?
Thanks!

 

I think everyone has their own idea about what the perfect amount of time between a new baby and twins is. Our girls will have just turned 5 before the baby is born. Sometimes I wondered if the gap is too big, but my girls understand so much about whats going on I think its helped me. If I am really tired and need a nap I explain it to them and they are good, they sit next to me on the couch and let me rest. They try to be involved so much with this pregnancy and if they were younger they wouldnt understand. My sister has twins that will be 1 this week and she wants to be pregnant at the end of the year. For me that was too soon to even think about getting pregnant again. Its good that you have family close because then if you do need your extra rest you have them close to help you . With our first pregnancy we were able to rest when we needed and didnt have to chase or take careof anyone else really, I think that is the hardest part sometimes about being pregnant after twins. It isnt so easy to rest when we need to. Wishing lots of FUN and luck TTC !!!

 

Like the pp said, the perfect time will be different for everyone. I had baby pangs about every 6 months from when the girls were 4 months old but it was best for us to wait until the girls were 3. At that time they could do a lot by themselves and were also old enough to understand the concept of adding a baby to our household. Another great thing was that since they had never had mommy and daddy to themselves they weren't bothered by having to share mommy and daddy with a new baby.

Other than the all day morning sickness at the beginning, my singleton pregnancy was pretty easy. Make sure you show the kids that naptimes are non-negotiable because you will probably want to take a nap too.

 

Like the pp said, it all depends on your perspective. I knew I didn't want another as close as my twins were to my first dd... she was 20 months when they were born. That age gap did have it's advantages...but I just wanted the potty training phase to be over with the twins... i also didn't want to wait too long b/c of being afraid that I'd be so far gone from the baby phase that it would be really difficult to go back. But really, no matter when you have the next baby it's still a tough transition. I am looking forward to when my twins can independently dress themselves (they are getting there) and put themselves on the potty... they have been fully potty trained for awhile now...just too short yet to get on and off the potty reliably...

 

For me, I wanted to start trying right away, but waited until after my sister's wedding. We started ttc when the twins were 10 months old and it took us about 6 months. The twins were 23 months when Liam came along. I wanted my kids close in age, plus, I am an "older mom" so I kind of had to get it done quickly .

 

Mine are just about 6 months old and we are thinking of trying here in just over a week. I am so excited and scared too. I just hope T&E are walking by the time the prospective new baby arrives!

 

I agree with others about the spacing. It's different with everyone. I originally wanted the girls to be at least 2 1/2 because I thought they would be more self sufficient at that time. In reality, they will be 3 1/4 when the baby is born. It's nice to know that I will only have one in diapers, my girls have a lot more understanding about what is going on, etc. My husband heard once that for kids, the best spacing is 3 1/2 years...not sure where he heard that though so I don't know what to base that on. As for being pregnant with toddlers, so far it hasn't been too bad. I still work full time so the only real change was going to bed right after them at night during the first trimester. I do need to rest more and make them walk more than being picked up, but that's pretty much it. I'm sure I will be telling a different story in my third trimester. Good luck with your decision.

 

For me the 2 1/2 year split between the twins and my dd was perfect, I had no issues with jealousy, regression, etc. I got pg when the twins were 20 mos old. Maybe it was luck... but it was perfect. I hope we are that lucky this time..the spread will only be 2 years this time!

As for being pg, it was much harder for me being pg with dd than with the twins, chasing two is exaughsting while growing a human being! But it sounds like you have a lot of support nearby so if you can get naps during the first and last tri-mesters, I think that will help a bit!!

Good luck...I'll be anxiously awaiting an "announcement post" from you!!

 

Thanks everyone! Yall are so encouraging! I'll let you know if I have any good news!

 

The hardest part for me has been lifting the boys during my 3rd trimester. They are pretty hefty boys (35-36 lbs) and aren't necessarily the most cooperative Other than that, it's been a pretty smooth pregnancy...but I'm ready to be done.

 

My children are almost 4 years apart and while they have more understanding about the baby, they also have more evilness in them . I mean they do try to hurt the baby (one of the twins, the other one loves her and whenever he hurts her it is by accident) knowingly and that hurts me.

What I like about our age gap:
- the boys can tell me when they are mad, jealous, etc...
- they help me (not very often but every now and then) by entertaining her, and she adored them
- they were very aware of the pregnancy, kissed the belly and proud to tell people in their schools, we even brought her in for show and tell (my boys go to different schools, so each of them was allowed to do it once)

What I feel is difficult with such a big age gap:
- they have started regressing a bit, and they do feel very raging jealous at times, which is because they were my one and all for too long and now they have to share
- one of them does not nap anymore and when /(like last night) I have been up all night with her because she is teething, I do not get a rest until the next night... and then again only if she is feeling ok... I wish they would all still be in napping age, so I could nap too!
- they will have different interests. When they can go horsebackriding and swimming, she can probably not even walk, by the time she is interested in these things, the boys may not be anymore.

The biggest pro of the situation for me is that I can really enjoy her babyness, because the boys are in school and then in bed earlier than her and I get to experience what singleton moms have. Time just for the two of us, without having another baby (or toddler) running around and/or crying.
And all of this while (because she is a very mellow baby) having time to play with the boys in the afternoon and having one on one time with them for a tiny part of the day. So riht now (today) I feel like I am being as fair as possible to them and I enjoy this.
Millie

 

Millie- it's interesting you've experienced such aggression towards the baby. My 4 year old has done nothing remotely close to what you've described. I wonder if it has more to do with the fact that she's a girl...or b/c she already has 2 younger siblings...so maybe the addition of another just isn't a big deal.