Being on my own

My babies spent 17 days in the NICU, then my mom was with us for 2 weeks...and the my aunt came and stayed and will leave when the babies
will be 4 months.... I have been bymelself with the babies here and there...but I'm getting a little anxious of doing it all by myself when
my family is all gone. Because there are always 2 of us in the house... unless they are sick or fuzzy, they don't have to cry much before
someone goes to them ..... I'm getting a little anxiuos...ok ..a lot anxious of doing everyting on my own when dh is at work...specially baths ....or
what to do when they are both tired and want to be held to go to sleep at the same time...
I still feel so guilty of holding one over the other..etc..

 

don't feel guilty about holding one at a time, like somebody said in the "best advice" thread, sometimes one just has to cry. It's hard but sometimes you just can't comfort them both at the same time. As far as baths go, I just bathe one at a time. I get her washed, dried, put lotion on, and get her dressed before I do the second baby. It can be challenging being alone sometimes but you'll fall into a rhythm before you know it! Good luck and try not to feel too anxious!

 

Don't worry, you will do fine. :hug: You can always rock one and put the other one in a bouncy seat and bounce with your foot. When you are on your own you will learn little tricks like that so that you can make it through the day. Eventually you'll get to where you've got your routine down pat and someone coming to help you is actually more of a hinderance than a help. :hug:

I remember the first morning I was alone with my girls I was terrified! It was the day after they were born, we were still in the hospital and DH had to go back to work. I called my mom to come up to the hospital ASAP because I was so scared that one would cry and I wouldn't know what to do!

 

You'll do great! This is what this support website is for too -- when you have a free moment just post your questions when you are home alone. I'm home by myself all the time -- my husband has a sales position and he travels quite a bit. I have to admit, I like it better when he's home...mostly because I get pretty lonely during the days that he's gone. I don't leave the house much with the twins because if one naps and the other doesn't then they get overstimulated and I can't deal with that on my own.

Regardless, you'll do great. Don't have any fear!

 

You'll do fine.
I've been pretty much doing everything by myself, including nights because of DFs work schedule. He leaves at 6 am, it's now 6:30pm and he is still at work in another town!!!! I don't even have the car so I'm literally stuck in the house with these guys. Swings and bouncy chairs are awesome and your friends. And yeah sometimes you are just going to have to let one of them cry. Its only been a little over two weeks since they've arrived and I feel like I've already learned so much!

 

you'll do just fine! it may take a few days to get into the swing of things alone, but you'll be a pro by the end of the week!
the way i did baths back then was i'd put one in the bouncer in the bathroom with me while i bathed the other one, then i'd switch them (after drying them off and dressing them).
i fed them in the bouncy chairs, too. i just sat inbetween them and got comfortable.
and one way i found i could pick them both up at the same time was i'd lie them on our bed next to each other, and scoop them up together.
i was so terrified in the beginning, too. but then it got to where, like aimee said, someone coming over to try and help was actually just distracting the routine i got down.
good luck!

 

You'll be fine. Its actually easier than you think. Mine occasionally cry at the same time, but not a whole lot. Instead of rocking them both to sleep, I will usually just use the swings, and stagger their naps by 10-15 minutes so that I can deal with them both. If they do both need to be held (hardly ever), I lay one across my lap, and hold the other one, and then try desperately to get someone to laugh so that I can put that person down!

With feedings, I use 2 boppy pillows, so that is really easy. With baths, I won't bath them until my husband is home, so he can watch the other baby.

 

It can be hard, but you will be fine.

I, too, had help until mine were 3 months old and when I had to be alone, I just panicked and would make DH come home to help me with the feeds. I got so used to having help that I was afraid to do it alone. You really feel like you´ve achieved something when you see you CAN do it!

You will have good days and bad but you´ll manage. Now mine are older so it´s much easier. If one´s in bed and Im feeding the other, it´s very easy but these days they tend to be awake at the same time. I just put one baby down to play while I feed the other.

As for bathtime, I leave one playing and bath the other then swap over. You can then feed one while the other, though clean, can play. Mine are at the age now when they will wait quite happily unless they´re overtired of course! I have paid help in the afternoons Mon-Fri (I work) so that´s what she does and she rarely has a problem.

Remember too that crying doesn´t hurt them. As long and they´re in a safe place, they´ll be OK.

GL, you can do this. Come and post whenever you need to talk, we´re here

 

You can do it! I didn't have much regular help after the first two or three weeks. You'll get a rhythm. :hug:

I found that slings and swings were invaluable for me when both were fussy.

Also, I never did bath time alone when they were little. Maybe your DH could help after he gets home? We just did it assembly line style, one baby in little bath in sink with one parent, gets passed to parent #2, baby #2 in bath while first baby is getting dried and diapered, etc.

 

Thanks for all your encoranging words Today I was alone with them for about 3 hours..including feeding, playing, changing, burping, etc.. We even
had the cable guy come!
We even had time for pics! ok..I know I can't expect all days to go this smooth, but it felt so nice!

 

QUOTE(Gimena @ Nov 22 2008, 06:58 PM) [snapback]1082503[/snapback]
Thanks for all your encoranging words Today I was alone with them for about 3 hours..including feeding, playing, changing, burping, etc.. We even
had the cable guy come!
We even had time for pics! ok..I know I can't expect all days to go this smooth, but it felt so nice!



That's wonderful!! :banana: See? You'll be just fine!! No, not all days will be this smooth - but you 3 will make it through all the days just fine and you'll get into a routine being by yourself. You might surprise yourself and find that once you are in the routine of it being just you and the babies - it might feel more chaotic/more difficult when you have helpers there. I still love to have my family around to help take care of the babies when they come for a visit - but I also find myself thinking sometimes that it is much easier when it is just me!

 

You will do great! Also, the babies will just keeping getting stronger and stronger. Everyone says that every stage has its challenges, but to me the very beginning was the absolute hardest. Around 4 mos. they just seemed heftier and bigger to me. They didn't seem like tiny little babies anymore and it seemed easier to manage both. I can't really explain why, but it seemed like the clouds just opened...