Behavior problems with twins age 7!

Hi ladies,
  I am a newbie here as I just joined today! I am looking for advice how to help one of my twins deal with being separated and put in another class from his twin sister.My twins were in Preschool, k, and 1st grade together and for second grade the school policy is that twins be separated by this grade. I had not behavior problems with the boy twin until this year , being separated from his sister , who by the way is the older twin.  Any advice how to make this transition better for him and his teachers?

 

I'd probably fight the school policy but I have problems with authority. Is there a reason that the school wanted your twins in particular to be separate or is it just a blanket policy? If the latter, I'd definitely push to put them back in the same class. They'll be ready to separate when they're ready to separate.

 

Thanks for your reply! No there is no reason other than it's there policy which sucks! I think if my boy twin could have a few more time to mature things would be better . He does have developmental delay in some learning areas such as reading and motor skills as he have problems holding the pencil correctly ( left handed).

 

If you want to have them put back together, ask for a copy of the written policy on separating twins.  Chances are there isn't one.  Question the reasoning behind this policy.  Chances are that it will be 'based on the latest research', to promote individuality and independence, stop them from holding each other back, or being overly competitive.  Remind them that you kids have had no problems being in the same class for the past 3 years but your son is still having a hard time adjusting (behavior issues) after being separated for 2? 3? 4? months.  Educate them that each twin relationship is different and what works for one pair may be disastrous for another.  Point out how little time your children actually spend together at school even in the same classroom (different seat partners, different small groups, boys' line girls' line, different bathrooms, different friends at recess, different tables at lunchtime) and that some twins don't necessarily need to be next to each other all the time but just need to see the other across the room and know they are okay.
 
If you want to keep them separated and help your son power through it, try inviting some classmates for a playdate, or getting him involved in the same extracurricular activities as his classmates (scouts, sports, clubs).  Once he finds a good friend in his class things will seem a lot better.

 

My thought is that some of his learning issues are a reason for separation.  It could be that he needs a different learning environment from his sister, and also that he had been dependent on her for some of the skills being taught.  Siblings are natural enablers, and you may not have realized that he was depending on her to accomplish things.  The other side is that if she is happy with separation, why should she have to be together with her brother because he wants her?  She shouldn't have to "take care" of him.  I know I am making a lot of assumptions here, but you gave limited information to go on, and as a teacher, I have seen where a needier twin can pull on a more independent sibling, and it really isn't fair to that more independent twin to have to care for their sibling.
 
The idea of playdates with other boys in his class is a really good one!