Behavior Issues

Breena is my ornery child. Completely opposite of how she was as an infant and opposite of her sister.

They know what no means. It stops Baylinn in her tracks. Breena....she just smiles at me over her shoulder and keeps on going. Even now as I type this sitting on the couch, she is touching the laptop. I tell her no and push her hand away. She looks right at me, smiles and touches it again.

She's started swatting at her sister in the side-by-side stroller. Again I tell her no, move her hand. She looks me in the face and does it again. This went on and on today. I didn't know what to do. Taking her out of the stroller and carrying her would reward her behavior.

She whines almost constantly but it's the worst in her car seat. Taking them anywhere now is a headache when it used to be such a pleasure.

Please, PLEASE tell me this is a phase! I swear she is testing me...doing things to see my reaction. Is it too soon for time-outs? Can they understand consequences now?

I really don't know what to do to stop this behavior before she gets older and it gets worse.

 

:hug99: Passive aggressive behavior can stay for a lifetime but I think it is more common in little kids... so I am inclined to say that it will be a phase. However, if it is not then you will have to handle her a little different than Baylinn. Fear will not work with Breena. You will have to use a lot of positive reinforcement in order to get YOUR way with her... and make her think she is getting her way.

:hug99:

 

I have one just like you described. I started timeouts with her around 17/18 months. I tried it before then but it was just a waste of time. I agree with Sarah, positive reinforcement is definitely necessary as is being repetitive about telling her no. She'll get it, but still continue to do it at times. It's fun, isn't it? :wacko:

 

At that age, all you can really do is redirect, or remove them from the situation. There is really no stopping a 12-18 month old from grabbing an interesting object. We have a water cooler, and I tell you, I was ready to throw that thing out the window, they would just not leave it alone! I started time outs at 18 months old. I really don't think a child around 12 months would understand a punishment. I don't know what to do about the side-by-side stroller, I never had one, except maybe find some other way to engage her hands, like a toy, snack, etc. I honestly found this stage the hardest, besides the newborn phase. Hang in there!

 

I have DDs who are the same as what you describe...Lydia is the one who likes to "challenge" us and she is completely different from when she was a baby and completely different than her sister. At about 12/13 months she started just looking at us and smiling when we tell her "no" and then she'll do it again. She's also the one who stuggles with us during diaper changes, etc. Emilia has her moments when she'll "test" us, but it's not often and she most often does it after she sees her sister get in trouble for something...she wants to see if she'll get the same reaction.

However, the good news is that over the past few weeks I have noticed that Lydia has responded to some positive reinforcement. She will walk up to her sister and give her blanket or a toy and I'll tell her "thank you" and that "it was nice to share." So, now she will sometimes give a toy back to Emilia after she steals it away and after I ask her to give it back...she NEVER used to give it back!

I haven't really done time-outs yet, but I think I may start. I think mine are at the age where they will understand now. I'm not sure if your DD is the same, but I've also noticed that Lydia is the one who isn't afraid to try new things...she has been the one to crawl, walk and talk first. It makes it very interesting to have DDs with such different personalities!!