Bedtime question/poll

I just got done reading HSHHC (heathly sleep habits happy child) and while it seems logical enough, I'm a little peeved.

Many many many families simply cannnot get their kids in bed super early, and all the book says to that is [I'm paraphrasing] "too bad, your baby and your family will suffer if your kid isn't in bed before 7 PM"

He offers NO compromises (at least what I read) or any suggestions for mitigating potential sleep consequences for a later bedtime.

Due to schedule issues, we can't get our babies in bed 3x/week earlier than 8 PM. And for consistency, I've been putting them down between 8 and 9 PM. They wake up to eat between 5 and 6 AM and take 3 naps a day. Two 1.5-2 hr naps and one shorter nap. So even with a later bedtime, they seem to be getting good sleep (16 hours+ day at 6 months). It just seems to me that the key is how much sleep they're getting, even if the "optimal" schedule is offset by an hour or two.

So, my question is: what has been your experience with later bedtimes? Do any of you have your kids on a 8 to 8 or 9 to 9 12-hour bedtime schedule, and does it work longer term?

 

I think that it is more important as to how much sleep they get not what time they go to bed-babies dont know how to tell time. I agree with you on that.
Mine go to bed on most nights by 8 pm, we start the bed time routine around 7:30 and they are usually asleep by 8. They wake up at about 6:30 am for the day, even if I keep them up later it is still the same wake up time so that hasnt helped. I would put them to bed earlier but I dont get home from work until 5:30 and havent seen them all day so a 6:30 bed time is nearly impossible.
I think you are doing a great job, the best you can!

 

Sounds like your kids are sleeping great. Throw the book out the window and keep up what you are doing!

Can't comment on the long term sustainability of it as our boys are only 4 1/2 months old, but we put them down between 7:30 and 8 pm every night. We then wake them up at 7am to eat breakfeast and get ready for daycare. They sleep about 5 hours over 3 naps througout the day and it is working great for us. They are happy, we are happy we get to spend a little more time with them, and they are still sleeping great. Honestly I believe books can be good for providing general guidelines, or for helping when you have a problem, but if what you are doing is working, why change it?

 

I get home from work at 6:00 and the babies are in bed between 6:30 and 7:00. We have to wake them up between 6 and 6:30 to get out the door in the morning and they don't nap great at daycare. So, it works for us, but it does suck not seeing them much in the evenings. They are so ready for bed though at that time that I couldn't imagine trying to keep them up. I agree with pp though - if they are getting enough sleep for them and they are happy, then whatever bedtime works for your family is the right one.

 

I agree with pp. If your babies are sleeping well, keep doing what you're doing :hug99: .

 

I don't get home from work until 6 or so; so in the interest of having some family time, we don't start the bedtime routine until about 8, which means they are asleep usually by 8:30. I get them up at 7 for breakfast if they aren't already awake (usually they start stirring a little before 7; so I'm not really waking them up, per se.).

I say do what works best for your family. The book is not the end all be all. When the babies were brand new, and we were trying to implement some of the babywise principles, I had several days when I felt like an absolute failure because I couldn't keep them awake after they ate so their "eat, play, sleep" schedule got messed up. Eventually I realized that getting them to sleep/eat well is a process, and whichever method you're using is certainly adaptable for your own family. We are the experts on our own children's well-being (even if some of us, like me, mostly feel like we have no idea what we're doing ).

Good luck!

 

I hated that book! I did much better once I tossed it out the window!

My girls go down between 630-7, they dont always go to the sleep but they are in their crib. I am also a bad example to use for anything! My girls didnt sttn until 8mo old and I had to CIO, but it only took 1 night! And our naps were awful until about 6mo, then they were really good for a few months and awful again once they sttn! Now they are getting it together again.

Anyway, that book is terrible, hard to follow, and there is only 1 way to do everything and if it doesnt work then you're SOL.

Follow your babies lead and you'll be much better off! Good luck!

 

I use all books for reference, and take what works for me, while leaving the rest behind. I think if your children are sleeping well, and not acting tired or cranky all day, you are doing a great job!

 

I say do what works for your kids and your family. Use the book as a guideline if you will, but not every family can follow it to a tee. We are a very busy family, have different evening activities, and our babies go to bed around 9 pm, and our son sometimes stays up after 10 pm. (Don't tell anybody, LOL). DH and I don't get home from work until 6pm. If I put them to bed at 6:30 I would never see them, and it is not available anyways, as we have other commitments.

 

QUOTE(Alechia @ Jul 17 2008, 11:58 AM) [snapback]881392[/snapback]
I just got done reading HSHHC (heathly sleep habits happy child) and while it seems logical enough, I'm a little peeved.

Many many many families simply cannnot get their kids in bed super early, and all the book says to that is [I'm paraphrasing] "too bad, your baby and your family will suffer if your kid isn't in bed before 7 PM"

He offers NO compromises (at least what I read) or any suggestions for mitigating potential sleep consequences for a later bedtime.

Due to schedule issues, we can't get our babies in bed 3x/week earlier than 8 PM. And for consistency, I've been putting them down between 8 and 9 PM. They wake up to eat between 5 and 6 AM and take 3 naps a day. Two 1.5-2 hr naps and one shorter nap. So even with a later bedtime, they seem to be getting good sleep (16 hours+ day at 6 months). It just seems to me that the key is how much sleep they're getting, even if the "optimal" schedule is offset by an hour or two.

So, my question is: what has been your experience with later bedtimes? Do any of you have your kids on a 8 to 8 or 9 to 9 12-hour bedtime schedule, and does it work longer term?


We've tried an earlier then 8 bedtime and it just did not work. Our babes seem to operate best on getting to sleep around 8 and they are usually up around 7:30 the next morning. I think if your babies are getting good sleep and good naps then it should not matter what time they go to bed, you have to do what works best for your family.

 

Our girls don't go to bed until 9 or later. DH doesn't get home until later and he wants to spend time with them too. Now that I'm a SAHM, it doesn't matter how late they sleep in the morning. If they STTN they wake around 8:30, but usually at least one of them will wake once during the night and I just nurse her back to sleep. We think it's more important for us (especially DH) to spend time with them than for them to go to bed at 7 every night. JMO.

Do what is right for your babies and you'll be just fine!

 

I acutally liked HSHHC. It taught me about what cues to look for so that I could get them down before they got overstimulated.

But I agree with Emily, they are merely a reference for you and you have to do what is best for your babies and your family. For me, mine had to go down by 5:30-6pm each night or they would just cry and cry. There was no gain for anyone if they were up any later. But if a later bedtime works for you, then go for it.

My neighbors kids aged 1 and 2.5 go to bed at about 10pm but they sleep until at least 9pm the next day. That way their Mom can get up and work from home for a few hours before they get up. Thats what works for them. It wouldnt work for me, but it does for them. Good luck with your routine!!

 

I put my babies to bed around 8:30ish and it really doesn't seem to matter what time I put them to bed, they always get up at 5am. I give them a medium bottle (6 oz) and they go right back to sleep for another four hours.

It's been this way since they were 4 months, I can't complain, since they always go back to sleep.

 

Thanks ladies... I was just wondering how many other have a "later" bedtime and if it works longer term. Things seem to be working fine (though they are crabbiest in the evenings). They certainly get enough sleep--now if I could just get them to drop the 5AM bottle and the need for pacis! (mine also go back to sleep after that bottle until 8:30 or 9AM).

 

Oh man, that book gave me serious mommy guilt. I worked the first year of their lives and they napped horribly at day care. I loved all the passive agressive comments about working moms who kep their babies up to late because they selfishly want to spend time with them and want to avoid their DH. :angry: He seriously says that somewhere in the book.

I picked between 6-7 pm because at 6 months, that is what they were doing. But they could not stay awake past 7 pm at that age or else they were seriously cranky. We had to wake them up around 5:30 to get them fed and dressed for day care and out the door in time for us to be at work by 8 am. So, they had an early wake up time too.

One of my good friends has a 1 yr old who has always gone to bed around 9 pm. He wakes up around 9 am too. (Lucky duck!)

 

I actually like HSHHC and following it worked for us.

That said - our bed time is now 7:30/8pm ish. When I went back to work, my DH started getting up with the boys in the AM. He is NOT a morning person -- and somehow sucessfully, over a period of a few months moved their VERY consistant 6:30am wake up time to 8am. As this process has progressed....so too has our bed time moved up. They STTN at 5 months, with no CIO -- and have done so ever since -- dispite moving their bedtime later.

So - it think if it works for you (and it sounds like it is working VERY well) - then don't let a book change your mind. If it STOPS working for you -- then revaluate. No need to fix something that's not broken.

 

I know I'm in the minority here, but we don't put them to bed until 10:30p. Our reason is that DH works second shift and I stay at home. I'd rather be on his schedule than just never see him. We get them up for the day around 11a (they usually play in their cribs for a little while before we go up and get them) and they have 2 or 3 naps a day. (Usually just two these days, but if they don't nap well, they get another.) This has worked great for us.

And I did ask our pedi for his advice and to see if we were creating night owls. He said at this age they are very adaptable and not to worry. He then said that he thinks it's great that they sleep roughly 12 hours at night.

I did read HSHHC, but like others, I used it mainly as a reference.

 

Right now I'm at home so they usually go down between 6 and 7. However, I will be starting back to work in Aug. and I'm not so sure I will keep the early bed time. We'll see. I also didn't like the comments about working moms. I will follow their cues. I won't keep them up if tired.

 

mine go to bed at 8Pm. i would like to put them in earlier (about 7-7:30). they wake around 6:30 every morning. i never read the book or any book. i sort of took what everyone else here did and tried to figure things out. every baby/family is different, so no one book can work for everybody.

i would just like to add that my babies are crappy nappers!.. which is why i'd like to put them to bed a little earlier so they can get more sleep at night, since they get so little during the day

 

My kids have later bedtimes and it works better for us.

Plus if we need to go somewhere later then 6 PM we can... and we aren't stuck in the house.

 

I read HSHHC and used a lot of the principals in it, but we put the girls to bed between 7 and 8 before their first year. Now they go to bed at 8:30pm and wake up at 7. I think with any book, you take from it what you can use and leave the rest. The thing that HSHHC really helped me with was to recognize sleepy signs and get the girls on a good nap schedule. It allowed them to get the sleep they needed and saved my sanity too GL!