Bedtime is SO STRESSFUL! We are at our wits end!

Erin is 10, Allie and Ash are 7. All 3 of them share a room and there is nothing we can do about that. I work 3 nights a week 7 PM to 7 :30 AM. I know things are the same if I am there or gone as far as bedtime is concerned. There are many issues....Ashley will not stay in her own bed. She always ends up in Allie's. Allie and Ash go up to bed at 7 but by the time Erin goes up at 9 they are still awake. When Erin goes up all 3 start fighting about anything and everything. It is at least 10 before they are all asleep. They get up at 7 AM and they do not take naps. They are very busy girls. We have tried discipline charts, rewards, new sheets and comforters, punishments, etc. Any ideas? They fight about the hall light being on or off, they fight about Ash staying in her own bed, they fight about who keeps talking and who wont be quiet, etc. We have tried sending all of them up at the same time, we tried sitting in there but we don't always have an hour a night to do that. Please help us get our girls to bed at a decent time! From 7 to 10 I feel like all I'm doing is yelling and threatening! HELP! Thanks!

 

Part of the problem may be that the younger ones are not tired. Try an 8 bedtime instead of 7. It does seem kind of early. And try 9:30 for the older one. it may make a world of difference, if they are actually tired when they go to bed.

 

I agree with Heather. Mine are in at 7 but they are only 3. I would def try 730-8. My sister has the same problem. Her girls are 12 and 7. She has no choice but to room them together. She has had to separate them before. She will usually put the younger one in her room (bed) Until the older ones bed time. Once shes asleep she brings the little one up.

I hope you find solution!!

HUGS.

 

I agree that it may be too early... One thing you could try (which I have had to do at times) is to have one of them go to sleep in their bed, the other in your bed, then carry that one back to their bed when they are asleep... It usually works with us... I too have 3 in one room, and it gets chaotic!

 

ITA about it maybe being a teeny bit too early for your 7 year olds to be going to sleep. My 7 year old goes to bed at 9:00 and wakes up between 8 and 8:30 (he has a late start school schedule). He really thrives on 11 hours at night, and it seems like plenty to me!

As for the fighting....... could you get the girl who likes it really dark a 'sleep mask'. I have one :blush: I bought it at Claire's and it is really wonderful for keeping the light out of my eyes. We have a large window in our room which makes it impossible to nap during the day. I'm not a big napper anyway, but if I ever do get the chance I NEED that little mask! It also would work great to keep out the light from the hallway.

I might also send all the girls up at the same time. My 10 yo and 7 yo share a room and they go up together and are usually going to sleep at the same time. I have everyone up and in bed at 8:00. The twins (age 5) go right to sleep - usually listening to a book on tape. The big boys are allowed to stay up for 30 minutes doing their required reading. I have them turn the lights out at 8:30 and they are usually asleep by 9:00. I know our schedule might not work for you, but it might be worth a shot! Good luck at finding something that will work for you!

 

Thanks so much to all of you! We tried for about 2 months sending the younger ones up at 8:30 and Erin up at 9:30. That just pushed all of them falling asleep later...like 11 or 11:30 instead of the 10 or 10:30 now. That is the problem, the later we send them up the later they end up falling asleep. They are always crabby because they don't get enough sleep. I will be buying a sleep mask, though. That is great! If we send them all up at the same time then Erin feels like a "baby" because she is 3 years older than the twins and doesn't feel like she should have to go to bed as early as they do. Thanks for reading and replying, I am appreciating the feed back!!!!!!

 

QUOTE(momof5 @ Dec 9 2008, 04:59 AM) [snapback]1103257[/snapback]
Thanks so much to all of you! We tried for about 2 months sending the younger ones up at 8:30 and Erin up at 9:30. That just pushed all of them falling asleep later...like 11 or 11:30 instead of the 10 or 10:30 now. That is the problem, the later we send them up the later they end up falling asleep.

If it is always taking them that long to fall asleep then maybe they need more of a calm 'wind-down' time beore they go up. What is your routine for before they go to bed? I'd try to make sure that they are only doing quiet activities for 45mins-1hr before they go to bed (if you're not already doing this).

 

I want to second Zoë's suggestion of a consistent bedtime routine. In our house we read stories to them in our big bed for about 30 minutes, then they go to their own beds and I sing them a song or two. You might do this for the younger ones and then spend time reading a chapter-type book with your older one on the couch. Something a bit more advanced and "special". Good luck! It does sound unbearable the way it is right now.

 

I was also wondering if your br is bigger than your girls room and if it is I would give them the bigger room since all 3 have to share. Maybe you could also put a standing blind between the beds to create privacy for each girl. Perhaps letting your husband sleep on the couch the nights you work and dividing them between the two bedrooms that way is an option too.

Mary

 

My girls are 9 & 6 and all share a room. Ash and Alicia go to bed at 8 and Alex at 8:30, we have some nights like you are describing and it is frustrating, but thankfully more often than not they just go to bed. They know that if they are loud the door will get shut and when they are bickering and tattling DH and I just keep repeating that they need to be quiet and go to bed so they really aren't getting anything out of it. I agree that have a consistent bedtime routine is very helpful, also if they are watching T.V. right before that may be making them get wound up. Not saying my girls don't watch before bed sometimes, but I have noticed they go to bed easier if they had been reading/playing quietly before instead.

 

I read to Allie and Ash for 30 minutes before bed. Erin is free to watch TV or read while I am reading to them in a different room. When I am at work they watch TV with DH before bed. They do have the biggest bedroom. All of you are giving excellent suggestions. The last 3 nights have actually been great, I pray it continues! Thanks so much!