Bedtime Battles

My boys are 3 1/2. When it's time for bed, my one DS is great. He goes potty, brushes his teeth and goes right to bed without any fuss. My other DS has been driving me :grr: for a few months now. We have a bedtime routine and when I say it's time for bed, he'll say "no bed" and so begins the battle. He won't come upstairs, so I'll take his blanket, then he throws a fit because I took his blanket. He'll go potty but will refuse to brush his teeth, If I try, he screams even more.

Tonight he would not go into his bed and I had to carry him. He screamed and cried. All of a sudden he wanted to brush his teeth. :gah: I told him no, he had his chance, kissed them goodnight and closed the door. I heard him screaming "brush teeth" for awhile but refused to give into him. He fell asleep shortly thereafter.

This also happens when we go camping which is every other weekend. When it's time to change into his pj's, he refuses to get dressed and I have to struggle to change him. Then he'll scream "no bed" and will do that until he falls asleep. My BF & I had been staying in the camper until he fell asleep but that just escalated things so this past weekend, after we told him goodnight, we left the camper. I had to go back in there once since he got out of bed but after that he stayed in bed and fell asleep.

We can have a great day and it's ruined by bedtime.

Does anyone have some tips that may help?

 

Man oh man. I hear ya on how bedtime can ruin the whole day! :hug: Would a reward/sticker chart work? If he brushes teeth....sticker...pjs...sticker....potty...sticker...straight to bed...sticker. Or, you could do just one sticker for finishing the whole routine as well. Or, what about a timer? Tell them in five minutes, when the timer goes off, it's time to get ready for bed, etc?

Honestly, you seem to be doing a great job not giving in to him! Kudos to you! I know my kids love to stall at bedtime, that's for sure! Our issue was they would say "good night!" "buona notte!" "ciao!" "te voglio tanto tanto bene!" "I love you!" "see you in the morning!" "sweet dreams!" OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! And they would.NOT.STOP! It was maddening! Because if they didn't hear you-it kept goingandgoingandgoingandgoing.

I hope you find something that works!

 

I actually thought about using that last night after they were in bed. I had to use a timer when he first was PT'd because he wanted to go every 5 minutes. It worked very well for him.

It just drive me crazy because he slept an extra hour and woke in a very good mood. I just know in 11 hours, the battle will begin again.

 

Yes, my guys are the same way. <_< It's actually the primary reason I haven't moved them out of their cribs yet. They don't get the fact that they can climb out of their cribs at night (even though they'll climb in and out during the day :unknw, so I can dump them in and say "night-night" when I'm done! :lol:

But it is a struggle from the moment bedtime starts until we close the door for the last time. We have tantrums, we have insane giggling, jumping, running, delaying tactics, etc. Bedtime can be a nightmare, and some days getting them to go to bed feels like trying to push a bowling ball through croquet hoops using a wet noodle. :gah:

The only way I get through it is to show absolutely no frustration, don't react to what they're doing, and stay on course. It's exhausting, but it does work. I also tell them in no uncertain terms what we're doing, and I do give choices. So when it's time to stop playing and go upstairs for bed, I tell them that they need to pick out a story to read. If they say "no", then I say "you can pick out a story to read, or you can go straight to bed with no story". 99% of the time they pick the story. Same thing with brushing teeth, putting on jammies, etc. Then we let them choose when they want their last potty trip ("now, or after story"). This has helped them feel like they have some control over bedtime, but the job still gets done.

But seriously, I miss the days of them passing out during the last night-time feed and sleeping until morning!

 

What time do they go to bed? It sounds like he is being oppositional maybe because he is overtired. I use the timer sometimes for our night time routine (dinner, playing (with timer set), bath/shower, pjs, teeth, story time (usually 3), lights out). GL. Its SOOO frustrating!!!

 

TV and bribery solved my problem over here.

I really limit TV in my house, and use it strategically to make my life easier. I let them watch Mickey Mouse and Curious George 45 minutes before bedtime in exchange for putting on PJs, brushing hair, and brushing teeth, without fuss, and I do all of it in front of the TV while they're on "baby crack". I have also recently stopped reading books right before bed as that turned into rough-housing, fighing, whining, etc, so we watch 15 extra minutes of TV and it's stright to cribs. I also give the choice when I get any protest, "you can let me brush your hair without fussing or you can go get in your bed, it's up to you...". They are so engrossed in their show that they don't fight, argue, chase, steal toys, etc., so they're pretty chilled out when we go to their rooms.

One of my twin DDs would cry and carry on for a good 30 minutes when I put her in her bed and I tried putting them to bed later, earlier, skipping nap, etc., and it was more of a separation thing than tiredness. So I bought a bag of cheapie toys and showed them to the girls and told them they could each pick out a toy in the morning or have a cookie if they were quiet at night (same thing I did with PTing). This worked like a charm and now I only give a "prize" once a week or so and they're quiet every night. I read about this tactic in the Ames and Ilg child development book for 3-year-olds to deal with very early risers and how you could give them a "treat" for not disturbing the household if they got up early, and just used it for bedtime instead.

So, I bribe my kids with toys, sweets, and TV, but I have very very little fighting/crying/delaying/protesting any more at bed time and we are all loving it.

I highly recommend recording and watching Curious George just before bed as the narrator's voice will soothe anyone to sleep and there aren't any scary things on it.

 

Curious George is the BEST! :wub: My guys love it and so do I. :good:

 

Well, the timer prevented a meltdown, but here we are 45 minutes after bedtime and all I keep hearing is MOOOOMMMMMY! I opened the door once to yell at him to get back in bed and I refuse to let him know I hear him. I stopped all liquid 2 hours before bedtime and he went potty right before bed.

They stopped naps over 8 months ago, go to be at 7:30 and wake between 7-7:30.

Meanwhile, his brother is fast asleep.