B'day party with some shared and some solo friends

Sorry, another birthday question (looks like a lot of us have fall babies!).

Like JicJac, my girls are in separate classes for the first time this year (1st grade). I offered to let them have separate parties, but they both wanted the same thing (gymnastics), so it makes sense to do just one. They're happy with that, and they did a great job of coming up with an invite list -- about 5 shared friends from kindergarten plus 3-4 friends each from their new classes.

But I wonder if people are going to be confused about gifts. Last year, their friends from K brought each birthday girl a gift. But I certainly don't expect someone from Sarah's class who doesn't know Amy at all (or vice versa) to bring two gifts.

I wish I could just say no gifts and avoid the whole issue, but there have been gifts at every other party they've been to since starting K, so I know that's not going to fly with Amy & Sarah. Is there any delicate way to give parents some guidance to avoid awkwardness? Probably not, but I'm curious how it's worked for others.

 

Last year and the year before I did three different invites...one with both their names on it for shared friends, then one with just one name on it to hand to their classmates. The shared friends obviously knew they were twins and the others did not, so the shared friends brought gifts for both and the friends from their respective classes brought gifts for the twin in their class. Some of the parents knew they were twins so they bought joint gifts. There was no awkwardness. Not sure if that makes sense.

 

That would be my suggestion too, do separate invites for shared, and then individual friends.

 

I have always done the 3 sets of invites as well.

 

That's a good idea, except I was going to do evites. It's the norm around here, plus it's much easier. And they're not allowed to hand out invites in school unless we're inviting all the kids (or at least all the girls) in their class, which we aren't.

I think everyone knows they're twins, anyway. The parents may not know, but the kids do.

We won't open gifts during the party (also the norm around here), so hopefully that will cut down on any potential awkwardness. The presents all just go in a pile and we take them home after the party. If parents are unsure what to do, they can ask me ahead of time, I guess?

 

Can you do 3 evites? I know that stinks having to track but you can hide the guest list on each so they won't know which group of friends they are binned into.

 

Just to update on this, I wound up doing one evite to everyone that said "Amy and Sarah are turning 7!" So everyone knew they were twins, and nearly everyone brought a gift for each kid. That wasn't really my intent, but I figured if it turned out that way, fine. There were still a few kids who only brought a gift for the twin who is actually in their class, and my kids were fine with that too.

However, opening the presents at home after the party was very confusing! Next time, I'm going to put all the gifts behind me and hand them out one at a time, making sure I read the card and write it down BEFORE the present gets opened. I was making them take it slowly and read me each card, but we still wound up with a few gifts of unknown giver, and a few gifts where we weren't sure if it was meant for both of them or only for one.

 

As we open presents, after the card is read- I (or someone designated to this task - this year it was DH) pass the card to an adult to write the gift on the back!

Then save cards in a stack for thank you notes. It is easy then-- the givers name is in the card and the name of what the gift is on the back of the card!

 

I usually create a spreadsheet for invites, and then print it up and write the gifts as they are opened--that way the names are already written down, and I just have to note what they gave. I will then print it up for each boy with a symbol showing who writes which thank you note. Mine also aren't allowed to play with anything until thank yous are written--it helps to get them done quickly!