Bad case of "mommy guilts"

When all else fails, I always come back to Twinstuff because you guys “know”, especially those with older chidren in addition to the twins.

I’m feeling a bad case of the ‘Mommy Guilts’…guilt for not being able to spend time with my 5 year old (Like I use to), guilt for my twins not having the devoted time/attention like my 5 year old did at their age, guilt for the chaos that exists (my poor family at Easter Dinner…got a glimps into our daily life and I could see how sorry they felt for me and DH), guilt for feeling only "half-there" with everyone. Guilt for not taking care of myself (just too tired and drained to exercise), Guilt for leaving my DH home with all 3 kids whenever I need to run an errand. Guilt for feeling so distant with my husband. But I am only 1 person, I’m not perfect and I’m not superwomen.
I’m trying to lower my expectations but it’s hard. I know this time will pass, but I feel guilt for wanting to rush through this next 2 years and wishing the twins would be 3…hoping it’d be more manageable then (I so clearly remember age 3 being a great age with my oldest…for the most part she listened, was somewhat reasonable, she was fun).

I was trying to make Easter morning special for everyone, especially for my 5 year old who was super excited about coloring eggs, egg hunts, finding baskets, but the twins made it impossible with the screaming, crying, fussing, neediness etc. and I found myself getting so angry and resentful for it. I felt like we are all getting “jipped”. They made things miserable and I really tried to keep the spirit alive for my 5 year old so she could enjoy the day. It was hard and frustrating.

I just don’t feel like I’m enjoying them, like I ‘should’ and feel terrible about it. I even choose to go back to work 3 days back in January because staying home wasn’t for me.

Then after all that, I felt guilty for being so ungrateful and whiny about all this. I just can’t catch a break. Thanks for listening. Now that I got that off my chest, why don’t I feel better?

Sigh.

 

:hug:

We all feel like crap sometimes.

Can you get away and recharge for a day? Then plan a special day with each kid- your DH, too. That way you can appreciate how fun each is individually. I am always distant with DH when I am angry or resentful- I get that. Carve out some time for each relationship and see how that goes.

:hug:

 

Are you kidding? You are a super mom!!!! Be proud of yourself momma!

My girl friend just had a baby boy 1.5 months ago. I asked her Hows it going? She said 'tired and kinda too much' she has a house helper to clean cook. And her mil stays with them to help with the baby. And the boy just eats and sleeps and poops. Then I said whats so hard about? It was just popped out and I shouldn't have said so. I know she wasn't happy to hear that...you are superwoman compare to my friend. You are doing the best for your family. They will be three before you know it (((hugs)))

 

I mentioned it in the other topic as well, but I truly admire all of you ladies who have more children than "just" their twins. Knowing how overwhelmed I can get with my two kiddos I cannot possibly imagine having to take care of a 5-year-old on top of all that. It is good you know you are doing the best you can. I am aware that doesn't make you feel it yet, but I ditto what PP said about carving out time for each child (and DH!) alone. Maybe that'll make you feel able to breathe again too. Also, would it be an option if you'd take a day off from everything and do whatever it is YOU love to do? No need to feel guilty about doing that every now and then because if it makes you a happy mommy it is totally worth it.

Hang in there momma, I know you can do it!