Back to work on Tuesday

And it is killing me. As it gets closer, I get more sad and nervous every day. We have a nanny starting next week and DH works mainly in the home, so that is some comfort. I like my job and my boss so that is not the issue, and I've been given the option to work from home one day per week which is great. I'm still heartbroken at the thought of leaving them for at least 9 hours every day and missing out on all the fun stuff they are doing and learning right now. I just want to be the best mom I possibly can, and I don't know how I'll do that if I'm not home with them every day.

How do you get through this? Financially, I don't think we could pay our mortgage if I didn't work. I'll be paying a big chunk of my income to the nanny, but it's still not realistic to give up my salary and good job. I'm just really depressed about this.

 

It's really hard to go back. A wise friend once told me "It's okay to put your work hat on and make a living for your family." It has helped her through going back two times afer her two singletons and it helped me too, even though I'm only working part time. I'm glad you have the opportunity to work from home 1 day a week and that your DH is home most of the time, I think that will help you immesurably. Ask your nanny to take pics throughout the day and email them you, that helps too.

Good luck and just keep saying to yourself "I'm putting on my work hat and making a living for my family."

 

I never know how to answer these questions. I went back when the twins were 8 weeks. Yes, it is hard. It's busy. I miss things. They go through stages where they only want daddy and not me. But for me, I have never regretted my choices. I don't have a choice but to work because I make 2/3 of our household income, but I would work anyway. That doesn't make me a bad mom. My kids are and have always been great, and that's what is important to me. They have a great daycare and a great relationship with my husband and with me. And it's okay with me that I didn't see all the firsts. It's okay with me that they are probably a little closer to daddy. But that's me. For some people, missing things and hearing about them from someone else is a struggle. I can't tell you how it will be for you. Just that it's been fine for me and I feel like everyone in my family is happy and well adjusted.

 

Hi,

I went back to work two weeks ago, this is my second week. The first week I worked part time, this was the first full time week. Just like you, I like my job and I have a great boss, plus we need the money also.

I am lucky to have my parents at the house - they moved in with us for a while and they are taking care of the twins while we are at work, so I know they are very well taken care of. My parents are helping a lot and I am so thankful for having them.

I can tell you from my experience with going back to work... it's hearbreaking at times. It's hard to leave them, and if one of them is crying when I leave or both of them, it makes me feel horrible to leave. But it's even more hearbreaking to leave when they are smiling and cooing and cute. Also they couldn't care less that I am leaving - mine are 2 and a half months, so they really don't seem to notice my absence.

On the other hand, I feel more rested since I am at work, and I feel like I have more energy. I am not the type to stay in a lot, and it helps to focus on something else while at work. I do miss the babies though and it gets depressing at times. People tell me I will get used to it in time, so I hope I will.

Good luck and I hope it won't be too bad for you either! Good for you that you had such a long maternity leave. Mine was only 6 weeks paid and then I stayed home without pay few weeks.

 

I had a lot of vacation time saved up in addition to FMLA. I've been home without pay for 11 weeks, just supplementing my husband's income from savings, which we planned for. I wish we had a way for me to take a couple of years off. I know it will be bad at first but once I get back into work it will be ok in time. I think the dread is just getting to me this week. These are my last few precious days and I feel so emotional as I play with them, feed them, and cuddle them.

 

Shera - you're not alone. I'm going back to work in 2 weeks. I also went back to work after my toddler was born 2.5 yrs ago. It was hard but you'll get back into the routine. I used to call 3-4x a day and sing to him over the phone. My husband also used to bring him in to have lunch with me and I'd nurse him in the mommy room at my work. I also just tried to use vacation /sick time to have quality time at home when I really needed it. I also would just take over the baby care as soon as I came home from work. It made me more tired but I felt like I was doing all I could. I also would be sure to be the one to put him to sleep etc. I am not sure if this helps, but remember what a great thing a career is and that is also a life-long thing. The time that they're babies they will probably not remember that you weren't there during the day. Then before you know it they're in pre-school. So even though it's an important time for YOU during their sweet baby-hood... it won't make too big a difference to them. Then once they're in school you'll be glad to have the career to keep you busy and pay the extra bills. In short, you're not alone, and you're still a great mom like the rest of us.. working moms just have to work a bit harder at quality time.

 

The ladies have said some wonderful things. It's going to be an adjustment period, but you will make it-and so will they. Many, many :hug: to you! Come back and post and let us know how everything is going! :youcandoit:
:grouphug: