Back to Work and Babies Are Always Sick

I've been back at work almost a month now & I've already had to miss a lot of work due to dr appts & sick babies. I can do a little work from home (when the babies let me!), but I really need to be in the office & I worry that I could eventually lose my job if I miss too much work. My boss even made an offhand comment about me missing so much work--it was a joke but I think there was a little dig in there too. Anyway, DH does stay home some with the twins when they are sick, but I have more sick time than he does, so the majority of it falls to me. DH's parents watch the babies sometimes, but not when they are sick (DH's parents are in their 70s & I don't want to expose them to anything). Plus, when they are sick, I feel like I or DH really need to be there for them because no one else will take care of them as well as we do (or love them as much!).

So for you working moms, what do you do when the twins are sick all the time? How does it affect your job? It's getting to the point where I hold my breath every time the phone rings at work because I'm worried that it's daycare calling.

Oh, and I definitely have to work & can't cut back my hours/pay any at all. We're barely making ends meet as it is, so not working is out.

 

I too am a working mom and don't have much advice to give. Sorry but I do feel your pain. Another new mom in our office said the first year is the hardest and to expect to miss lots of work. I wish there was a way to make it easier but hang in there.

Just letting you know you are not alone.

 

I do know what you mean-lucky for me this time around with the twins my mom and sil watch them the majority of the time and can care for them when they are sick as well.
I do keep in close contact with my boss on my home situation and make sure he knows daily how much I love my job and how important it is to me-I try really hard when I am here to be productive and do a great job that way when I have to be gone things dont get behind. I even bring my kids to work on occassion so that I can make sure everything is in order before I have to leave for doctor appt. or to stay home. I think that shows my boss that I am commited and reliable.
It is tough on working moms because we are expected to be at work and never stop caring for our kids and that responsibility usually falls on our shoulders.
Try not to stress too much, just do the best you can!

 

I went off on Maternity leave early due to bedrest & then had to go back when my boys were 9 weeks old, right at the beginning of October (so almost winter). That first winter at daycare was dreadful. We'd maybe get 3 days of being healthy & then we were sick again. My husband was new to the baby thing & got scared to death being with them when they were sick. Plus, it's so hard caring for 2 sick kiddos, let alone 1! Last winter we had RSV, Rotavirus, Stomach Flu (x2), Hand Foot & Mouth (x2), & multiple colds. It was NEVER ENDING! At my job, I'm allowed 6 call ins within a 12 mo period. Luckily, once spring hit, the sickness stopped for a while...but it didn't help my job. It's been 'on the line' for months now. I can't call in unless a dire emergency or I could get a warning from HR & then possibly get suspended (if I call in 2x). It sucks walking this tightrope & sucks that my DH now has to deal with them more when they're sick when all I want is to be home with them! But, a job is a job. Come October, my 12 mos start repeating & the sick calls start dropping off. I can only hope THIS winter (in a new daycare) will be spent more healthy, but it doesn't look promising (we've already had 2 colds & Hand Foot & Mouth since starting there in July).

Hang in there...like someone said, the first year is the hardest. And just think...all those mamas whose kids aren't in daycare will miss work when their kids start school & they'll be in the same boat that you're in now, only your (our) kiddos are catching all these bugs as babies vs older toddlers! At least that's what my Ped tries to use to cheer me up at our endless visits .....

 

No advice; but I feel your pain. We've been through a stomach virus (ugh), a sinus infection, and numerous colds. DH and I try to split it up; but my job is very cyclical; and I am entering the season where I lose all my flexibility. So DH is going to have to do the heavy lifting for a while. We try to do half days (one takes the AM shift and one the PM shift) if we can when they are sick and home so that we can try to make important meetings and get some face time in at the office at least. But it's tough. I am definitely tired of the runny noses!!! Poor little guys. Hang in there--most of working parent friends with older kids say that their kids never miss school--so like pp's said, you're getting it all out of the way early!

 

I agree with Lesley Anne's suggestions. Do all you can to show how much you love/need your job and how committed you are. Brainstorm to see if there are any processes you can change to minimize the effects of your absence. Maybe you can go in after hours once your dh is home and get paperwork done or get up absurdly early and go in for a few hours before your dh goes to work? THAT would show commitment. One of the things that has helped me is DH and I split days each working half a day. That way we both put in an appearance and are able to handle the priority things daily. My boss is a working mom as well so she's super supportive. If your boss has kids maybe you can use that as a common bond? Remember this stage really is temporary in the grand scheme of things.

QUOTE(nurseandrea02 @ Sep 4 2008, 10:14 AM) [snapback]962689[/snapback]
Hang in there...like someone said, the first year is the hardest. And just think...all those mamas whose kids aren't in daycare will miss work when their kids start school & they'll be in the same boat that you're in now, only your (our) kiddos are catching all these bugs as babies vs older toddlers! At least that's what my Ped tries to use to cheer me up at our endless visits .....


This is so true. I've had to keep DS1 home ONCE in the past 3 years. It seems like I missed 1 week a month for the first 18 mos or so. Once they get to be 2 - 3 y/o they run less fevers and you just have to deal with the runny nose/cough and you're not called to get them as much. DS1 has allergies so we have year round sinus issues but he doesn't "feel badly" and life goes on. We've been pretty lucky with N&M so far but when we are in the thick of it, I try to find the silver lining and look at it as extra time I wouldn't have gotten to spend with them otherwise.


Good luck figuring this out.

Christy

 

I am also a working mom with almost 2yo boys, who have been at daycare since 6 mos old. It seemed like I was home all the time. I agree with pp on trying to make amends with your boss, explain you are doing everything that you can, and if they have any suggestions, because of how much you value your job, the flexibility, etc. you would be happy to try them. Keeping open lines of communication is my best suggestion (as previously mentioned).

The first year is the hardest, with them being exposed to so much and building up the antibodies. It eases when they stop putting everything in their mouth.

I have been very fortunate in my situation to work flex hours within a pay period. If I am not available for 2-3 days one week, I have to work twice as hard the following week.

No one said being a working mom is going to be easy, and it is definately not easy with twins, but you will get through it!! Stay strong!! Keep loving those babies, that is the most rewarding part anyway!!

 

Could your mother in law or sister in law come over and help you while you are at home for a little while so you could get work done.
My job is really flexible thankfully, but I really try to make myself available and at least look like I'm working from home and that really seems to help. Maybe if someone could help you for like an hour or so while they are home with you then your boss would see that you actually are doing something from home.

 

QUOTE(jkk922 @ Sep 4 2008, 10:45 AM) [snapback]962615[/snapback]
I've been back at work almost a month now & I've already had to miss a lot of work due to dr appts & sick babies. I can do a little work from home (when the babies let me!), but I really need to be in the office & I worry that I could eventually lose my job if I miss too much work. My boss even made an offhand comment about me missing so much work--it was a joke but I think there was a little dig in there too. Anyway, DH does stay home some with the twins when they are sick, but I have more sick time than he does, so the majority of it falls to me. DH's parents watch the babies sometimes, but not when they are sick (DH's parents are in their 70s & I don't want to expose them to anything). Plus, when they are sick, I feel like I or DH really need to be there for them because no one else will take care of them as well as we do (or love them as much!).

So for you working moms, what do you do when the twins are sick all the time? How does it affect your job? It's getting to the point where I hold my breath every time the phone rings at work because I'm worried that it's daycare calling.

Oh, and I definitely have to work & can't cut back my hours/pay any at all. We're barely making ends meet as it is, so not working is out.


Mine haven't been sick too much, and DH has borne the brunt of it because my work has been insane lately. He's had to take some leave without pay even. I think it will get better after the first year. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Lots of hugs!

 

QUOTE(jennstwins @ Sep 5 2008, 09:39 AM) [snapback]964722[/snapback]
My job is really flexible thankfully, but I really try to make myself available and at least look like I'm working from home and that really seems to help. Maybe if someone could help you for like an hour or so while they are home with you then your boss would see that you actually are doing something from home.


I have a similar situation and my boss is very understanding. We started daycare in Feb and they caught RSV within a couple weeks. It seems they've been sick on and off since then but they seem to get sicker in the first daycare setting. I am much happier with their current daycare. They have had stomach bugs and viruses. I stopped taking them to the doctor for every fever after a few months.

Unfortunately, Clara runs a fever when she cuts teeth and sometimes it get up to 102. I get called for that as well and it's annoying, but part of it. I'm really hoping that this next year is a little better.

I hope you find a good balance. Do you have any work/life balance benefits?