Back to Work after the Twins?

Just curious..... How many of you went back to work after your twins were born? And if so, how long was your maternity leave? When you went back, did you work full-time or part-time? Right now I'm planning on going back to work after the babies are born (I just don't think we could afford to live on one salary), and I'm already getting all kinds of grief from people who think that's a horrible idea. I just wish these same people would give me the $$$ to stay at home, but so far no one's willing to do that!

 

I am planing on going back to work full time after the twins are born, I have no maternity leave so I have three weeks vacation saved up and then I plan to be layed off for 4 weeks after that collecting 280. a week from unemployment. After all that we will see how it plays out, our sitter now said she would charge 25. a day per baby and we would only have them in daycare three days a week DH is off Monday's and Tuesday's.


QUOTE(jkk922 @ Jan 24 2008, 03:05 PM) [snapback]587912[/snapback]
Just curious..... How many of you went back to work after your twins were born? And if so, how long was your maternity leave? When you went back, did you work full-time or part-time? Right now I'm planning on going back to work after the babies are born (I just don't think we could afford to live on one salary), and I'm already getting all kinds of grief from people who think that's a horrible idea. I just wish these same people would give me the $$$ to stay at home, but so far no one's willing to do that!

 

For me, I only went back part time.

Financially, after full time daycare, I would have only been bringing in a couple hundred dollars a month anyway working full time. And it was worth it to me to find ways to cut things out (and factor in the money I spent because I was working: lunch out, dry cleaning, gas, etc.) to avoid the stress of packing everyone up every morning and running around like crazy, and being even more tired and stressed than I already was. But DH was fully on board with this also. You have to do what's right for you and your family, and in one ear/out the other everyone who's giving you a hard time (and even if you decide to stay home or do part-time, folks'll have an opinion on that too!)

BIG hats off to moms who work full-time, because you have another full time job at home anyway!

I was lucky that my part time job pretty much offered me as much time off as I wanted after the birth of the girls and I only went out 1 week before they were born. That's not to say they paid me for it though! . I had 8 weeks of sick/vacation time saved up and used that and then went back to work when the girls were 15 weeks old. I would have stayed out a little longer but we needed my income again.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

 

I will be off with the twins for about 3-4 months then I will go to part-time. I am VERY VERY fortunate to have my mom living very close so she'll watch the twins for us.

Don't let people give you grief, we as mothers can do enough of that on our own. You have to do what you have to do kids are resilient and if you find the right daycare then your good to go.

 

I went back to work full time. I got 16 weeks maternity leave. I stared back part time at 14 weeks for two weeks and then went back to my normal schedule. We had a nanny at the time. Even though a nanny is quite expensive, it was cheaper to do that and have me work. I make more than my DH and there's no way we could survive off of his salary. It's deifnitely doable if you choose to work. I think routines are the key to making it work.

 

For us if I went back to work, it would have cost more in childcare than I make so it would have been a wash. It made more sense for me to stay home. My girls were also born at 28 weeks, and I didn't want my preemies in daycare because they are already so fragile. For my maternity leave (I live in California, I don't know if its different elsewhere) I got 8 weeks disability (because I had a c-section, if I would have delivered them vaginally it would have been 6 weeks) and then I got 6 weeks of Paid Family Medical Leave (FMLA). Everybody will try to tell you what you should do, but you have to do what is best for your situation and your family. Good Luck with your decision.

 

I went back full-time when my twins were 8 weeks old. I had always planned to go back -- just never wanted to be a SAHM, and I like my job. The extra money is nice too. (I make just enough to cover daycare with a little left over.)

I didn't plan to go back quite that early, but it's hard getting two infant daycare slots in the middle of the year (my twins were born in November). Two slots opened up in January and we grabbed them. And honestly, I was relieved, because I was so dreading being home alone with them. It was rough at first, but better for everyone to have me back at work.

I also got disability (50% of my salary) through my job as soon as I went on bedrest at 29 weeks, and that lasted for 6 weeks after the twins were born. After that, I used 2 weeks of sick time that I had saved up before I got pregnant. So I never had to go entirely without salary, although I'd been planning on taking FMLA if I were going to be out for the full 3 months.

 

I had planned on definitly taking off 6 months, then reassesing. We saved alot before hand so that that was possible. Around 4 months pp I thought for sure I wanted to be SAHM and dh supported that decision and we would have been able to survive (but not much else!). Then right around 6 months I started going crazy staying home with them, I NEEDED some time away. Well, work was the perfect solution, I get paid to be away, lol!!! We are also so VERY lucky that dh works four 10hr shifts and watches them one day I work and my mom watches them the other day, so no daycare costs here. But even if we had to pay for daycare and it was a wash, like I said, for me personally I NEEDED that break 2-3 times a week.

HTH

 

I knew our plan was for me to stay home with the twins after they were born. At 6 months though, my mom gave me the option of going back to work (PT) 2 days a week. I did that for just over a year before I became a FT SAHM. Although it was nice getting out, work was stressful for me, even though it was a job I had done before the twins had come. I am enjoying having the time with the kids!

 

I went back to work about 10 weeks after my boys were born. In our situation, I was making more than hubby and he became a stay-at-home dad for their first year. He started working part-time nights when they were almost a year.

Make the decision that feels right for you. I didn't get much grief from others but I sure did give myself enough guilt over the decision. Over time, I realized that the guilt didn't help anyone. I focused on the quality of my time with them more than the quantity, and that helped a lot. As did taking time out of my workday to pump (got to use a spare office with speakerphone!) and check in with them at home.

Good luck!

 

I wanted to stay home but financially, we couldn't afford for me to. I planned to go back to work, but work from home a couple days a week. While I was on maternity leave (I had 5 or 6 weeks of paid time saved up), things changed at work and they wanted me to come back full time into a management position (that would have been way more stressful). I just didn't think I could handle 2 newborns, commuting back and forth to work 45-50 minutes each way and the extra stress I'd have at work. I really didn't want to go back full time. Luckily, a friend needed an Admin. Asst. and got me hired with her company. I work 3 days a week, its a good balance for me to be able to be with my babies, yet have a little 'me'/adult time too.

 

I returned to work one week after my c-section! The explanation around that though is that I was on STD from 24-31 weeks, delivered at 31 weeks, and my girls spent 5 and 6 weeks in the NICU. I work FT from home, so I just started back to work after a week so I could use my time off when they came home (since I'd been off 7 weeks before even having them).

During the week just one was home I did put in a part time week, then when both were home I took off 5 weeks, then back to work FT (from home). So they were 11 weeks old when I returned to work. We still hadnt' found a nanny at that point, so I had my niece come help me watch them. I did hire a nanny and that was actually cheaper than FT daycare for 2 infants. She worked 7-4 M-F while I worked.

I am now putting them in daycare 3 days/week, nanny 2 days/week, starting next month. The nanny situation was awesome, I had my girls here to see them whenever I wanted to. But now they need to move on and get more socialization.

I tried to have kids for a really long time. I really thought I wanted to be SAHM, but financially it wouldn't have worked. Plus I have a very flexible, well-paying job where I get to work with him with very limited travel. Plus I get like 6 weeks of PTO a year. So giving up a position like that is not really smart. But after being a mommy for a while, I know I'm not really cut out to be a SAHM, we'd need to be able to afford some PT help of daycare so I would get a break. Because without a break I'd have gone insane.

 

When we found out about the twins, we really explored the possibility of me staying at home for a year. I'm a teacher and we have the option to take 6 weeks maternity, 12 weeks FMLA or stay out the remainder of the year. I actually make enough to cover daycare and all material costs for the babies (formula, diapers, wipes, clothing etc). Because we are a same-sex couple and my partner works for the federal government, I can't be covered by her healthcare. When we factored that in (paying for benefits through my school district) to me not working, plus having to buy a new car at some point, it because really clear that I couldn't work.
I wasn't quite ready to go back to work at 14 weeks but now that we are getting into our groove, it's okay. I see the babies in the morning for an hour or so and about 2 hours in the evenings. I miss them during the day but they love their daycare (to have a nanny, we would have had to pull our 3 year old out of preschool and he loves it) and see their brother during the day. It's a tough balance- I wish I could go to work for 8 hours (I really enjoy my job) and freeze time. Then when I got home, I could have the whole day with the babies. Too bad that's not possible.

It's a personal decision for everyone and you have to weigh all the factors!

 

My kids were born 2/21/07 and I went back to work full-time after Memorial Day. I scaled back work to part-time for about a month before the kids were born and was paid for that time and then paid for 8 weeks after the kids were born (i had a c-section). so my last 4 weeks were unpaid. I had to go back to work for financial reasons, but in all honesty, I don't think I would have been a very good SAHM. I so admire people that do, but I need the adult interaction and I really enjoy my job. My kids spent the 1st three months I was back at work in my mil's care and now are in a home daycare with a family friend. I know that they are loved and taken care of all day and I have not regretted my decision to go back to work.

It is a personal choice that you need to make and don't let anyone make you feel bad for your decision. They aren't walking in your shoes, so really shouldn't comment on why you do or don't decide to go back to work. Good luck!

 

I am taking off 7 weeks, 6 weeks is paid maternity leave and then I am taking an extra week vacation. I will be going back to work full time and the kids will go to daycare. It is pretty expensive but worth it for me and my family-my job provides our health insurance.
I have been off work since December 11th on bedrest (which was paid under short term disability) I feel like I have been gone forever!

 

I went back when they were about 11 weeks... Mom came to my house and has watched the babies every day until last week. I now have a sitter that is watching them a coupld days a week for 25 a day for both babies and i dont pay unless they are there...
I wanted to go back but it was tuff in the beginning and i missed them alot... However it worked out and we are all happy campers... i was paid 60% of my salary and one week i took vacation... It was tight (dh took off one month too) but it was worth it.. Only chance to ever do that...

 

After the twins, I was able to work out a pretty good schedule with work. I worked three days in the office and one day at home. They were in daycare 3 days a week. It cost us about $1350 a month until they were 15 months old, then it went down to $1150 a month. I still made enough money that we had some leftover after daycare and commuting costs and I did like having some time at work.

Once Liam was born, we decided that I would become a SAHM. Our daycare costs would have jumped to about $2000 a month, with that and commuting expenses, I wouldn't have taken home much.

My maternity(with the twins) was paid for 8 weeks, then I took some accrued vacation time and some unpaid time. I was off for 16 weeks with them (MA state law allows 8 weeks per child AFTER the birth of the child), so even though I had used FMLA time in the weeks leading up to their birth, I was still able to take my full maternity.

 

Wow, I can't get over how cheap the PP daycare costs were!!!

I went back to work 5.5 months after the twins were born. 8 weeks was disability (after c-section). 3 months was unpaid Family Leave. And 2 weeks was vacation. I went back part-time for 3 months (3 days a week) while my cousin watched them for me. I paid her $80 a day. The part-time was a special thing my company offerred for mom's returning from maternity leave. After that 3 months was up, I returned full time.

Daycare for me is $650 a week for 2. I'm in NJ. So it's about $2600 a month. I still make more than that, so I need to work. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about returning to work. Even if I was a billionaire I would still work, if only part time. I love the "adult" part of my day. I miss the kids like crazy, but it's ok. You will miss them. But like you, I didn't have a choice but to go back to work. We needed the money.

 

Fortunately for me, I will be able to take off 3 or 4 months after the twins are born, before I go back to work part time. I am not sure if I will even be doing that to be honest. It depends on how much time I can devote to the twins while I am working. I am able to take the twins with me to work as I work at a daycare. I just don't want either job to suffer, being a mom, or a daycare director. We will see what happens. I was a stay at home mom with my other children and if I can, I would like to be able to devote my time to my twins just as I did with the others. We will have to wait and see. Do what you feel is best for you and your family. That is what matters most.

Other people are not in your shoes and like you said, they aren't willing to pay your bills, so they shouldn't have a say in what goes on in your home. When they contribute to the family's well being financially, then they should be allowed to contribute their ideals and not until!!!

 

QUOTE(caba @ Jan 25 2008, 11:43 AM) [snapback]589180[/snapback]
Wow, I can't get over how cheap the PP daycare costs were!!!

I went back to work 5.5 months after the twins were born. 8 weeks was disability (after c-section). 3 months was unpaid Family Leave. And 2 weeks was vacation. I went back part-time for 3 months (3 days a week) while my cousin watched them for me. I paid her $80 a day. The part-time was a special thing my company offerred for mom's returning from maternity leave. After that 3 months was up, I returned full time.

Daycare for me is $650 a week for 2. I'm in NJ. So it's about $2600 a month. I still make more than that, so I need to work. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about returning to work. Even if I was a billionaire I would still work, if only part time. I love the "adult" part of my day. I miss the kids like crazy, but it's ok. You will miss them. But like you, I didn't have a choice but to go back to work. We needed the money.


The prices I quoted were for part time care, not full time. So I paid about $340 a week for 3 days 7:30 - 4:30. (My daycare actually gave me 1/2 off the twin so I paid less there than I would've at any other facility without the twin discount it would have been $510 for 3 days, I was lucky).


I just wanted to add to the original poster....

In terms of going back to work, you need to do what is best for your family. You and your husband are the only ones who can determine that. DO NOT listen to those who tell you what they think you should do. And please....take what they say with a grain of salt. I have two friends who were close friends for 20 or more years and one conversation about daycare/work ruined that friendship!

 

I've been back to work full time for 2 weeks now (after a 12 week maternity leave). My sister and my mom are helping with our childcare so we're saving some money that way. If I didn't have their help I'd have to work 2 extra jobs just to pay for daycare, so it's worked out pretty well.

 

I'm planning on taking FMLA for 12 weeks, then going back to work, part time. I work 20 hrs/week, two 10 hours shifts. (I'm an ER nurse) My husband is self-employed, so he will be taking care of the children when I am at work, with the help of my best friend.