Back Talk

I am going insane. I have always had the fear that I would have rude children and I do! They are into this thing where if you tell them to do something or ask them something they will say. "No, you no tell me that" or "NO, you no talk a me like that" or "No, I don't" :angry:

I have been trying to calmly tell them that is backtalk and disrespectful and we don't talk to grown ups that way. But honestly, I want to mash their little mouths. Add this onto the constant fighting and bickering between the two and I am going to have to pay my hairdresser double to cover up all the gray! <_<

Am I handling this correctly? Is it just a phase where they are testing their limits (once again)?

 

:hug:

I have the same problem. I don't think you'll have rude children. You just have to be firm and consistent. I had a conversation with my DS who is the main offender. He liked to tell DH "no, you no talk back to us." I explained our beliefs with regard to respect and I've reinforced the message. After I felt confident he understood the message and chose to ignore us, it became a disciplinary issue. The first few times I would give one warning. Something to the effect of "that tone/those words are unacceptable. Do you need a time out?" After a few months of giving a warning (and seeing improvement), I switched to immediate time out. If they "talk back" we now tell them they immediately have a 3 minute time out. It has worked for us!

Regardless of the consequences, I think the important piece is the consistency and the explanation as to why it is unacceptable behavior. Your kids are quite a bit younger than mine but the behavior started at that age. Now, they are much better behaved. They were testing their boundaries and we needed to be consistent with the message. I remember the first time Aidan said "no, you don't talk back to me" I must have been so shocked, I laughed. Then I realized the message I was giving was one of approval.

 

I think this is very typical of the age group. Even my 6 year old still does this Brandy, but little kids don't always self monitor these days, with the way the world has changed. I would keep doing what you are. It will help them and I am sure they will not be rude children. My constantly bicker too. :crazy: It's enough to make a girl go bonkers! :crazy:

 

Yep, we've got the back talk here too. <_< Emilie even tells us "whatever". :huh: The first time it was kind of funny, since she did it to DH. I just try to tell them that it is not nice to talk like that. But unfortunately they hear it from their big sister, and her friends and TV, etc.

 

Hmmmm, I hate posting this stuff, since we all discipline differently, but DH & I are both of the mindset that sassiness is a definite no no. Very simple -- if they backtalk, are sassy, smart alecks, lippy, you name it, they get one warning. "You are being sassy." That is the word we use with them (typically because they respond with a nasty "no" when asked to do something). If they do it again, they get a click on the cheek. We had about three days of sassiness, and haven't had a big problem since. That is just one thing that we won't tolerate.

 

We have a rule "No saying no to mommy and daddy." Mine are much younger that yours but we started this rule a couple of months ago. They get one warning and if they keep it up, its a time out.

 

:hug: Brandy. Yep, they all go through it, but they also need to know it's not ok. Mine get a firm, down in their face "you don't tell momma no, you say OK momma" and if they do it again, there is a consequence. Fortunately they have learned to say "ok, momma" and then obey. :banana:

 

im glad im not alone out there! I try so hard to raise sweet nice boys, but lately, i have been getting "attitude". One of mine tells me, "no mama, i have power".. i guess like a power ranger..lol. Or i said, "Do you need to go to time out?".. one said, "No YOU go to time out mama... grrrrrr... i was so mad. So, we have just been trying to nip this in the bud!! Hoping it fades soon!!