Babywise vs. pediatrician advice?

Okay, so I've been following Babywise for several weeks and it's been working really well. We have a 7pm bottle and then bed, then we wake them at 10 for a bottle before we go to bed, then when one wakes in the middle of the night (Sophie usually) we wake Lyla up and feed her as well. That's only one time in the night then they sleep til 7 or 8. It was working great.

I went to the pediatrician the other day - whom I really like. And he said absolutely don't wake them during the day (like I do according to babywise) just let them sleep and feed them on demand. THat's so hard for me w/ the twins!!! It's too much to track and ensure they each get adequate rest and food. They were happy babies during "wake" time before. He also said not to force feed that 10pm bottle and not to wake one up when the other wakes in the middle of the night. So we tried to implement this and my husband and I each took a baby in the night and got up several times w/ each. It was awful - I need my sleep to be a good mom during the day.

Also, yesterday I fed on demand and couldn't even get out of the house - since they weren't doing things together it was too hard. I know I'm pretty schedule oriented - it just makes me more sane in this unsane twin world.

What should I do? Should I suck it up and do what my doctor says or go back to my babywise ways that were working great?

PLEASE HELP??!?!?!

 

This ped doesn't have twins obviously! I would definitely stick with a schedule like you have been doing!

 

No, he doesn't - and I feel like screaming at him. Or telling him to come over and do the night feedings. Plus, my husband's going away next week so I'm solo.

PS - I don't know how single moms do this - I have sooo much respect for all of you out there!!!!

 

Unless your pedi is willing to come help you, go with your plan.

 

I know Babywise is controversial, but if you use it with some flexibility and common sense -- which of course you are -- then it works beautifully, especially for multiples.

Your ped just happens to have a different parenting philosophy than you -- which is fine for him, but as long as your babies are thriving, go with what works for you!

 

I would never use Babywise (very controversial like pp said) but I see Weissbluth and he actually encouraged to keep them on a similar schedule (give or take 30 minutes is what he usually recommends and that's what I did the first 3-4 months), especially when you have older kids, like I have. During the night, I stopped waking my girl up since I noticed it was always my boy waking up first, and it turned out that my girl could sleep 10 hours straight at 8 weeks while it took my boy another 2 months to do that, so we seperated them (it was hard for a while but worth it). So my advice is that you also have to stay flexible, look at your babies' individual needs and don't overdo the scheduling (I know Babywise is pretty strict in that respect). Does that make sense?

 

Stick to your schedule. they are your babies and if that works better for you and the babies then do it and don't listen to him.

Good luck
missy

 

Unless your doctor is a mother of twins forget what he/she says! You know your babies better than any doctor does and you know how CRAZY it can be with TWO little babies sleeping and eating on demand. It sounds like what you're doing is working well. One thing I will suggest is that you stop waking the second twin around 3 months. That's what we did - turns out Evan was ready to stop eating at night altogether. James followed suit about 3 weeks later. By 4 months nobody was hungry at night, not even a dream feed.

Good luck - follow your mother's instinct!

 

thanks everyone. I appreciate it. I'm not really strict w/ the babywise- I adjust for the babies - I just needed some framework, you know?

 

QUOTE
I just needed some framework, you know?


Absolutely!! :hug99:

 

Do what works for you. There are a lot of people that will give advice to you, which you can take it or leave it. Your babies are healthy and most likely getting enough to eat, so do what you have been doing. After all, you are the mom and know them the best!

 

OK, although i do not agree with Babywise, it seems to be working for you and it sounds like you're pretty flexible with it, so I'd probably stick with it.

 

I have not read Babywise, although I do have a basic understanding of it's theory/philosophy. But FWIW, I did EXACTLY what you are doing, just how you described. My kids were on a schedule from the time we got home from the hospital until today. Yes, we have to adjust it from time to time, but we are routine followers here in this house. My kids were always rested, happy, and easy going. I am glad that I woke them to eat, and that we did that 10pm feed, and that we woke the other in the middle of the night. You sound like you know EXACTLY what you are doing...so tune your pedi out and follow your gut on this one!!!!!!

 

Every doctor is different the way every book is different. Do what feels right to you. As long as you are feeding them and they are growing, I think you are doing great!!

 

Lol call him at 2am and ask him to come over and feed the other one you Didn't wake up. I don't even take pediatricians advice. Unless they have twins AND have as many kids as I do then maybe I listen. I think your doing great with your mommy instincts.

 

I also don't really subscribe to Babywise, but what you are doing sounds fine. I was a non-scheduler, did feed/sleep on demand while they were newborns and I was completely INSANE! I would go for 24 hrs at a time with maybe 2-3 hrs of sleep, not shower, barely ate, you get the idea. I say if what you are doing works, and you are at this point and not ready to have a nervous breakdown, then you are doing A-OK!

 

I say stick with the Babywise especially since it was working so well for you. We too used Babywise and it has worked great here, two happy, healthy babies that sleep through the night. I think the main thing, with any program, is to keep everything in perspective and use your common sense and motherly instinct. Being a new mom of twins can be very overwhelming, and the Babywise program helped us with the framework, as you said.

As far as taking advice from other people (even the ped.) about sleeping and eating, I usually don't listen, unless they are a parent of twins and have been there themselves. That's why I like this site so much!!!

 

I didnt follow any books but I wouldnt follow Babywise (JMO of course) My girls were pretty much fed on demand. I never woke them up to feed. If one woke in the middle of the nite (usually Alivea) I let the other one sleep until she woke up.

ETA: I never fed my babies at the same time. I always had one on one with each of them while eating and I would rock them to sleep. They are 17 months old and still get rocked to sleep (I am not ready to let that go yet) It did make my days a little longer and a little harder but I felt the one on one time was more important then having any "me" time.

 

More important than anything else is that your babies need a happy and stress-free (ya right!) ok as low-stress as possible momma. So, above all things, do what works for YOU and YOUR BABIES! If what you are doing works, just smile, nod and occasionally blink when receiving advice from non-twin parents!

 

Every person parents differently. Some people need more "me time" and others devote themselves completely to their children and every shade in between. I say do what feels right to you. Your babies need a happy confident mother.

:hug99:

 

I agree...do what YOU feel is right for you and your babies! When I was a first time mom with DD, I got so much advice from everyone. It was so confusing. After trying things different ways several times according to what other people said, I finally just realized I needed to do what felt right for US. Kind of a motherly instinct type thing. I nursed her to sleep, rocked her to sleep, didn't do CIO, etc. But that's just what I felt comfortable with.

It sounds like you are bottle feeding? If so, Baby Wise often works okay. I think when breastfeeding it can sometimes be hard to try to do that much of a "schedule", especially so early on. I'm not a big fan of Baby Wise, but more for breastfeeding reasons. As long as they are getting enough to eat and not left to cry just because it's not "time" for a nap or food, then I think it's fine to do some type of routine. And it sounds like you're being pretty flexible anyway. My girls are starting to put themselves into their own routine. And, you betcha, if one is going to sleep I try to get the other one to sleep at the same time, etc. Doesn't always work, but why not try?

You're doing fine!

 

the adage "never wake a sleeping baby" isn't all it's cracked up to be. I tried that in the beginning and the girls got their days/nights mixed up, and I lost my mind temporarily. Definitely go back to what you were doing before. You might want to try to increase the number of ounces if bottle feeding or increase the number of minutes if BF at each feed so that you can eliminate any wakings due to hunger after 10 pm. by 8 wks mine would sleep 8 hrs. I would wake them and feed them every 3 hrs and that was working for us. I also put a size larger diaper on them at night and just cinched it up tight around the waist and that would buy me another hour or so. I'm a big baby wise fan Mine have been sleeping 12 hrs straight since they were 6 months old. and could have been sleeping longer sooner if it weren't for the paci.

 

Just to clarify - I don't use the parts of babywise that I do so that I have "me time." I'm not sure I know many twin mothers who get lots of "me time."
It's to have a sense of structure to the day.

Also, my kids are usually hungry at the same time so I think it's better to feed them together than have one screaming while I feed the other. And I get plenty of one on one time. I'm not sure why I'm defending myself but I would never be judgemental of another twin mom.

 

QUOTE(AimeeS @ Aug 12 2007, 06:07 PM) [snapback]365676[/snapback]
Just to clarify - I don't use the parts of babywise that I do so that I have "me time." I'm not sure I know many twin mothers who get lots of "me time."
It's to have a sense of structure to the day.

Also, my kids are usually hungry at the same time so I think it's better to feed them together than have one screaming while I feed the other. And I get plenty of one on one time. I'm not sure why I'm defending myself but I would never be judgemental of another twin mom.


No need to defend yourself! I think you are doing a great job if mom and babies are healthy and happy...don't let anyone tell you otherwise!! :hug99:

 

QUOTE(Becca34 @ Aug 10 2007, 03:28 PM) [snapback]364027[/snapback]
I know Babywise is controversial, but if you use it with some flexibility and common sense -- which of course you are -- then it works beautifully, especially for multiples.

Your ped just happens to have a different parenting philosophy than you -- which is fine for him, but as long as your babies are thriving, go with what works for you!


i totally agree with this. i read babywise before i had my dd, and then my ped's advice was sort of along the same lines as babywise, so it was perfect. but your babies are 2 months, so if the schedule is working and babies are thriving, i say continue it. motherhood is all just trial and error anyway. we do the best we can, and use our common sense!

 

Stick with what works for you. The Pedi is there to make sure they get their shots on time, that they are healthy with no diseases, and that they are not being malnourished or abused.

If none of that applies to you (which I'm sure it doesn't) than do what's working for you. He's not coming over and feeding your kids at night.

I did that in the very beginning with mine. One would wake, I'd feed her, burp her, change her and put her back to bed. Do the same thing with the next baby immediately after. Then I'd go pump for 20 minutes. Everything worked in a perfect 3 hour schedule. Then came all the outside help, moving when they were 2 months old.... It all went haywire and hasn't gotten back to 'normal' since.

I wish I'd have been able to keep with what was working for us.... Stay strong and keep your ground - if it's not broken, why fix it???

 

QUOTE(AimeeS @ Aug 12 2007, 06:07 PM) [snapback]365676[/snapback]
Just to clarify - I don't use the parts of babywise that I do so that I have "me time." I'm not sure I know many twin mothers who get lots of "me time."
It's to have a sense of structure to the day.

Also, my kids are usually hungry at the same time so I think it's better to feed them together than have one screaming while I feed the other. And I get plenty of one on one time. I'm not sure why I'm defending myself but I would never be judgemental of another twin mom.


:hug99: Definately no reason to defend yourself!!! You are a great mom and doing what is working for your family! Gosh, I will be the first to admit that part of having a schedule in this house was so I did have some "ME" time... :acute:, I know, but it kept me sane. I don't love my kids any less then the next mom, but that's what worked for me/us. Peds are medical doctors, they aren't sleep specialists or nutritionists or twin moms, for that matter! Okay, enough rambling....just wanted to send out some hugs and support! :give_rose:

 

I think you're doing a super job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If babywise is working for you and you are sane and are functioning, Wonderful! I like what the pp said about the ped being there to make sure they get their shots and are healthy, etc. They are not there to tell you how to/when to feed and nap your babies. I do a very relaxed version of babywise. I use it like a guide for me and it works. I don't go for everything they say b/c it's their opinion like everyone else. YOU are the mom and are the one doing all the work...no body else is doing it so do what works for you. I think when my girls were around the same age one of my girls would wake in the night to feed and my DH would wake the other one but Rachel wouldn't drink as much and would go back to sleep. At that time we would let her go on her own at night and she started sleeping all night. Rebekah would still wake for a bottle...for about a month then she started sleeping all night. During the day I did wake both at the same time. It's what kept me sane...if others can handle on demand, wonderful. I just know I couldn't. You keep doing the same thing you're doing b/c it's working!

 

QUOTE(becky5 @ Aug 10 2007, 03:07 PM) [snapback]363995[/snapback]
This ped doesn't have twins obviously! I would definitely stick with a schedule like you have been doing!


All I can say is, these are your children not your pedis. You need to do what is right for you. Schedules are part of the course with twins. On demand is really hard with multiples. If what you have been doing is working for you, keep it up.

 

You need to do what works best to make the babies and you happy and makes life managable with twinfants.. A sleepy tired mommy is not an attentive happy mother.

Plus I am guessing he hasn't ever spent a day feeding twins "on demand." I have had my girls on a schedule since about 3 months and it hasn't hurt them in the least. I have woken them out of sleep to eat if the other woke up and there was no problems with that. I am shocked the pedi would tell you that.

Feeding on demand is wonderful in theory, but this is the real world and (with twins especially) it can make life impossible. I don't know if your babies were in the NICU, but in there they wake the babies up every 3 hours and feed them (if they are sleeping or not). If they do that with premies in the hospital, I am sure it is fine to do at home.

Did the doctor give you reasons for feeding on demand or explain how you are to function with the demands of twins (I know singleton parents how have to put their child on a schedule for sanities-sack)?

Go with Babywise.