Babysitting issues

I seem to be having an issue with my family about babysitting and wanting/needing 2 people there with my girls. What does everyone else do? One babysitter or two? My girls are 7 months old and I think it is a lot for 1 person to handle. I seem to have offended my sister when I told her I wanted someone else with her, even though she is a mom of 2-not twins. My DH and I don't feel comfortable leaving our girls alone with just 1 person. As we all know it is so much work to deal with twins and my family doesn't get it! I am being crazy to want 2 adults there in case they both have a meltdown? I know how I feel when they both scream and need me and how mad they get that they can't have me all to themselves sometimes. When I am out (not that I ever go anywhere, but just in case) I want to relax and not worry that the person with my girls is stressing b/c they are crying or freaking out. Is that too much to ask? Also-no one gets how hard it is to pack up for two 7 month olds and get them out of the house and over to someone else's so they can watch them! Does anyone else have these problems or am I just being senstitive to the whole thing? I just needed to talk to others that get what it's like having twins!

 

QUOTE(dr802 @ May 5 2008, 01:06 PM) [snapback]756375[/snapback]
I seem to be having an issue with my family about babysitting and wanting/needing 2 people there with my girls. What does everyone else do? One babysitter or two? My girls are 7 months old and I think it is a lot for 1 person to handle. I seem to have offended my sister when I told her I wanted someone else with her, even though she is a mom of 2-not twins. My DH and I don't feel comfortable leaving our girls alone with just 1 person. As we all know it is so much work to deal with twins and my family doesn't get it! I am being crazy to want 2 adults there in case they both have a meltdown? I know how I feel when they both scream and need me and how mad they get that they can't have me all to themselves sometimes. When I am out (not that I ever go anywhere, but just in case) I want to relax and not worry that the person with my girls is stressing b/c they are crying or freaking out. Is that too much to ask? Also-no one gets how hard it is to pack up for two 7 month olds and get them out of the house and over to someone else's so they can watch them! Does anyone else have these problems or am I just being senstitive to the whole thing? I just needed to talk to others that get what it's like having twins!




My boys are 6 1/2 months old. If it's during the day-we leave them with one person. Preferably after a nap and after they've been fed. But if it's night time-we always, or at least always try, to have two people. That's just to put them to bed. It's not easy doing it by yourself.

We've always left them alone with one person though. Sometimes another family member will come and help out. My boys are really easy, I don't know how your twins are in terms of their personalities. If you feel more comfortable with two people, then that's what I would do. But maybe do a short outing(not too short ) and see how your sister handles it. You'll never know until you try!

 

For me it really depends on who that one person is. My mom and my sister usually come over together to watch the girls. They prefer this and so do I. However our sitter, who is a mom of 4 (ages 10 to 20), watches the girls alone and does fine. She is a very calm person to begin with and always has fun things planned for the girls so the 5 hours they are with her flies by. My mom and sister aren't the calmest and get overwhelmed when the girls get bored and fussy, which only makes the situation that much worse. Last week they were supposed to watch the girls in the evening because I had a work dinner and my sister backed out an hour before I had to leave. My mom said she could handle it, but dinner and bedtime can get really stressful and I knew it would be a bad idea to have her watch the girls alone. Thankfully DH was able to come home from work. I think my mom was a little hurt, but I did it for the good of everyone involved (the girls, my mom and me- selfishly I didn't want to be worried while dealing with this work dinner). So I think if you aren't comfortable with it thats whats important. If your sister is offended then I would explain why you feel the way you do. Its hard enough leaving our kids, but its that much worse if we are worried about them while we are away. :hug99:

 

At this age (7 months) I would (and have) leave them alone with one person, assuming that person was qualified. When they were under 4 months, I would have felt better with two people. My MIL has been watching the babies 2 afternoons a week for a few hours between when I go into work (2nd shift) and DH gets home (1st shift) since they were 4 months old, and although it's tough, it's manageable.

 

I would be fine leaving our girls alone with one person (so long as that person was an experienced babysitter). Often whoever I ask to babysit will bring another person (like my mom will bring my dad or if I ask SIL I will drop them at her house so she has her husband to help) but I don't have any problem if they don't bring someone else along. I figure I can do it alone so they can too. Yes, there may be a few minutes at bedtime when someone is briefly unhappy while the other baby is being tended to, but it's not life threatening.

I could see where your sister might be a little put out that you insist on someone else helping out. She probably figures that she is doing you a favor by babysitting in the first place so doesn't think you should also dictate that someone else has to come. Also, since she is a mom of two she probaby feels a bit insulted that you don't think she can handle the babies on her own (I totally get your point - 2 7 month old are not the same as say a 2 and 4 year old, but I still think she could handle them).

I can definitely understand where you would feel more comfortable with two people there (it truly is easier for everyone) but I understand her point as well. I also definitely understand the not wanting to pack them up and bring them to someone else's house. I figure it is easier for the babysitter to be at my house since I have everything there (toys, cribs, etc.) but then again - they are doing a favor for me by watching my kids so if they want me to bring them to their house I do.

 

I usually have our girls all he time. There are really only two people that I have been able to trust with our girls by themselves besides my husband. I have known them both for years and I would trust them with the lives of my children and even my life. I won't take our girls to family to stay unless there is going to be another person and I have no other choice. My SIL is a great person but she has type 3 diabetes and has to live her life with an inciline pump in her stomach. I wold rather not have her passing out when she has our girls but I do trust her with them, just not alone for safety reasons.

But normally Ido everything for our girls for every part of the day.
Lots of love!
Meshell

 

I've always left them with just one babysitter. The only time they've had two is if my SIL watches them and she brings her son, but he's not a huge help to her. I think at 7 months one person would be fine.

 

I would trust your sister to tell you if she did NOT feel comfortable watching them both. I leave my girls with my mom every Tuesday and she is 69! She can definitely handle it. A very good friend of mine has also watched the girls and I totally trusted her. The lady who runs our nursery at church also watched them - no problem.

 

I think that if you're asking-- you probably should have 2 people there.

I also think it's HILARIOUS that you wrote "not that I ever go anywhere, but just in case.". That is sooooooo FUNNY! And sooooo true!

Good luck and whatever you decide is what's right for you.

I have never left mine alone w/ one person for more than 30 minutes.. not cuz I have "hard babies" cuz I don't.. I just don't WANT to do that.

I leave them with two for a few hours ONCE IN A WHILE. I have no life so it's not a big deal LMAO!

 

I leave all 3 of my kids under the care of one person 3 days a week- she's my sister so I trust her explicitly and she's also a mom of twins, so she's very experienced. I understand you're wanting to have 2 people there, but I also understand your sister feeling a bit put out. Your babies will survive and if anything it will give your sister a good insight into what life is like for you... but primarily (and not just to make a "point") your babies will be just fine in the care of one person- especially family- I always feel like family (as long as they're trustworthy) make the best babysitters because they're invested in your kids- they're not going to walk away thinking, I'm glad that's over- they're happy to be spending time with their nieces/nephews, it's not just a babysitting gig. And btw, my kids actually do better for other people than they do for me... there's something about "mommy" that bring out the meltdowns. Good luck!

 

you are not wrong. I think you are right to want two people there if it possible. I have 6 month old boys and to be honest DH and I also prefer two people as well. The only real exception we'll make is for our nanny because she is with them the most (other then DH and myself) - even then she'll admit it can be too much for one person to handle (she said especially the kids under one).

When we went to my brother's for his wedding we hired two babysitters and we were made fun of (actually mocked) by family (In-Laws and my parents)... well we got the last laugh (in a not funny way). BTW: my boys were just shy of 6 months

While we were gone (I was in the wedding) I got a couple of calls! The "main" babysitter was about 40 and her sister came too (about 30 yo) and both boys had a MAJOR meltdown. They both had a kid and they were of course throwing the classic tantrum/meltdown - which as you know only gets louder when there is two and neither were calming down. We had to make an emergency pit-stop prior to the reception to help out and calm them down.

When we finally got home from the wedding both in-laws and my parents were shocked to find out how hard it was for the sitters (they both have kids too!), though to be honest neither group were still believers.


I think what people have a hard time understanding is that yes, it is hard with two kids but I think it becomes harder when they are the same age (and basically needing the same things at the same time) and still are very dependent on you for everything. To them it's the same as having two kids, but as know it's also very different - we don't get the privilage of staggered age groups, we get everything at one time (and as we know we get hit by the little ones at the same time for stuff can be very hard and stressful at time).

Ok now i'm rambling... needless to say, go with your gut but keep in mind your sisters feelings

 

When the boys were little, I refused to let any ONE person watch them alone, so I never went anywhere (I take that back, when they were 2 weeks old DH & I went out to eat while my mom watched them). They went to daycare at 9 weeks, where they're in a room with 2 adults & 8 kids...in my eyes, I'd MUCH rather have them with 1 adult & just them! But, I guess it depends on who that adult is. If you don't feel comfortable with 1 person, then you should probably stick with 2. However, I think 1 could most likely handle them. I nannied for twins (one set at 6 weeks & up, the other at 4 mos & up) when I was in my early 20s and only one or 2 times did I ever have someone with me (and that's when the boys were SUPER little). My boys cry at times when it's just me & they have to share, so I don't doubt they cry at times when others are here. I've had to run to doctor's appts while DH is at work, so I've had friends watch the boys alone. My one friend's daughter is 3 mos older than my 2 & she watches all 3 (which I've done in return...boy is that NOT easy!). I hate knowing they could be crying...it's something about them crying for someone else since it seems so different when they're crying with ME around .

Of course, night time is totally different. No one has ever tackled bedtime except my Mom & Stepdad...and even then I was nervous (and my mom raised twins...although 33 years ago!). Something about bedtime alone...it sucks!

As for traveling, yeah it sucks, but I've done that, too. I guess it was usually to people's houses that had young kids so I didn't have to pack up much. That & I've been heading out of the house with them since they were 2 weeks old...I guess I'm pretty used to it !!!

Oh & my DS Aiden is a bit of a handful....ESPECIALLY when he was younger! I felt bad for anyone with him .

Anyways, it can be done but if you don't feel comfortable, stick to your intuition & stick with 2.

 

Only once did I have 2 sitters, and that was last year when I needed a sitter for 10-12 hours and felt it was just too much of a long haul for one teen--so we had her bring a freind. I had my boys by myself every day, and in addition to that, I did laundry, cooked, cleaned up, etc. A sitter just has to watch the babies, so they actually have less work to do than you do. If your sister can't handle it by herself, I am sure she will let you know.

 

I would only leave them with 1 person.

 

Like some of the other posters have shared, it depended on the people. I have a friend who spent alot of time with the children from birth (at least once or twice a week every week from the moment they came home from the hospital) and I trusted her right away by herself with the children, she would even take them out by herself. There were other people who I felt more comfortable not being alone and they too preferred not to be alone. I didn't have a blanket policy on it and if a member of the family felt comfortable being alone with them then I most likely would be comfortable also.

 

Depending on the person. I could always leave them both with my Mom because I trusted her.

 

Thanks for all th insight-it gives me a lot to think about. I guess during the day 1 could manage-if I need to go somewhere my mom has watched them and my dad is not that much of a help to her. Nighttime is tougher and I don't like to do bedtime alone either-I have done it, but no one else needs to stress over that. It's good to see what other MOT have done.

 

Mine have always been left with just one person.... or you know grandma and grandpa .... but yep one person...why would you have to have two?

 

Why not let them? At 7 months old, one person would do just fine. At 2-3 months, I wanted two, but I had one with colic and the other with AR. It did take two to take care of them. Now it is easily done with one person.

My mom/MIL watch them while I work. My mom has them 3 days by herself and MIL 2 days by herself. Sometimes my mom will even bring my 17 month old niece or my 7wk old niece. She loves it and does just fine!!! My mom is 50 and MIL is 72. Both enjoy being with them during the day!!

If it is overnight though, I would prefer two...just to save energy. When we went out of town in January, we had my mom and grandma here. They were just 5 months old, so it would be even easier now. I hope to have a weekend alone with DH this summer, and the girls go to the lake. There is more family up there on the weekends so it would take some of the load off of MIL.

I think you should give your sister a shot. It isn't like she has zero experience with children. I am sure she would do just fine! She also feels that she can do it too. If she said she couldn't then that would be a different thing.

April

 

We had my sister watch them at our home all summer when I returned to work (they were 3 months--6 months) Then we started taking them to their regular sitter (who is just one person) and have been since. While we work, we do take the girls to the sitters house, but if DH and I ever go anywhere (which is rare), the babysitter (usually grandma) always come to our house. It's just more practical for everyone.

It is all what you are comfortable with though! You are the mom.

ETA:
Bedtime is a whole other story! I can barely do it alone so I wouldn't feel comfortable with only one person. I've only ever left once at bedtime we left them with both my mom and dad at our home.

 

Even with our fussy baby early on, I left them with one person. That person was my mom, aunt or MIL. I trusted that any of them could handle the boys or call if it got too bad. Of course no one ever called us. We even left them over night at about 3 1/2 months with my aunt and they did great for her. She was exhausted when we got home, but had no problem handling both of them.

Now other people have offered and I don't leave them alone with them. I either don't know them well enough to leave one of my babies with them much less two or they just aren't comfortable enough with the boys to handle both.

 

I have a nanny that watches both of mine 8 hours a day. She does great by herself. I was actually considering adding my 6 year old to the mix during the summer as he can pretty much take care of himself.

 

I didn't have a choice but to leave my twins with a nanny during the day for a few days a week because my husband and I work. I started at 5 months. If I took them to a day care center, most of those places have 2 people to 7 babies so I figured one person with my twins was better. Now that they are 8 months, one person is perfectly fine. My husband and I have had to trade off feedings for the most part, even at night and putting them down alone. We've have the nanny do it in the evening too on occasional, or my mother, and all was well (my kids go down great and sleep through the night). Our nanny is certified and knows CPR, which made me feel more comfortable.

Leaving them with one person is really perfectly fine. But my kids, I will admit, are relatively easy at this stage. They are great kids. However, beforehand my daughter was still very colicky but one person was still able to manage them. This may not be the case for everyone so do what you think is best. That's all that really matters.

 

I have three kids and a dh in an arm cast so I pretty much do it ALL by myself. Thankfully I have my mom to help me out when I am super stressed but it isnt that often. If the person feels comfortable it can be done. My twins go to daycare twice a week and are with a women who has them plus four toddlers and she does fine. People do it all the time.
But they are your kids first and foremost so you make the final call and you should do what you feel most comfortable with.

 

If your sister feels she can handle it then I would let her