Baby stuck in NICU :(

Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for everything the NICU has done for my babies, but on Friday my Baby B (Mushka) got to come home. My Baby A (Chana'le) is still there...why?? Because she won't take 40 mls at each feeding. We are talking about a 4 lbs 12 oz baby who thank G-d is very healthy and in an open crib. I spoke to the neo and NP tonight during rounds and what they essentially told me is that I wouldn't be able to handle a baby who eats every hour and a half instead of every three hours. Ummm...what do they think normal babies do when they get home??? I am sooooo frustrated right now!! I just want my baby out of there and my whole family home.

 

Oh my poor sweetheart! I know exactly what you are going through! I went through the same thing with Sierra, they kept promising that she could come home then putting it off because she was still on the NG tube and because I couldn't get there to do every feed on the breast (because of the long travel and having the other twin at home)... Also as she had been transferred to a different unit where there weren't as many staff, I found that she was often getting the tube instead of the bottle because they didn't have time! (They wanted her to be on all oral feeds before going home).

I eventually pleaded with them to let me take her home on the tube, to please show me how to use the tube at home (I'd done research on the net and found that this WAS possible) and they relented... I brought her home and just breastfed her as soon as we got home and only used the tube once! We never looked back.

I urge you to be strong, be determined and push the issue that you NEED her home, that you ARE capable, have your support people back you.. hunt the medical team down, push for an interview with them then push the issue, you NEED her home! She NEEDS to be home and that if things don't improve at home, you can always bring her back...

If you would like to talk more, please PM me...

Big :hug:

 

Ok, my 4lb10oz guy never went to the NICU (birth weight at 5.7) but I EBF'd him every 2 hours (probably every hour to 1.5 hours) at home. And his twin. Of course you can do it! You just need access to both babies... At home!

I would demand to speak with that person's boss. Obviously they have never BF'd a baby- sometimes you nurse for hours straight! :grr: Oh, I'm livid for you. The NICU is a life saving place but your baby could be home with mommy right now and that burns me up!

 

I agree that you should push harder. My baby B was 4.15 at birth and dropped, as they do, and after 11 days, he was back to 4.12 but they wanted to continue keeping him because he preferred to nurse at the breast and they wanted to see what he was taking from the bottle. I told them if he wants to nurse from ME rather than the bottle, than he needs to be WITH ME!! Your baby needs to be with you and as long as she is safe, it's not up to them to decide whether or you can handle her feeding schedule.

 

my jessy came home at 4lbs 4 oz and 30ml every 2 hours and we fed every 2 hours for 3 months.

 

:hug: I'm sorry I know it's frustrating. I know each NICU has certain "rules" for when babies can come home. I know ours were taking all feeds by mouth (but I don't remember a certain amount being mentioned), open air crib and no A's and B's...or they came home with a monitor. I don't think weight plays any kind of factor in when they come home. I know there were 9lb babies in the NICU when mine were in there.

I'm sure your baby will be home soon. If you really think it's best for Chana'le I would speak to someone else about it.

 

I had some of the same issues with mckenna. She was actually released from the nicu before her brother. But she would NOT gain weight and would NOT take a bottle. So they said until she took a bottle she could not come home. So I told them to let me stay in the hospital in a room and I would breastfeed her for 24 hours straight (on demand) and see if she would gain weight. They put me up in a room that was for "rooming in" and I stayed that long. She did gain weight. At home, with it more relaxed we set our own schedule for her.
I would recommend talking with the nurse manager about a plan. Ask if there are other options. I know they do have some strict rules about being released and some while frustrating for us, are essential for the health of the babies. I understand wanting them both home, Mitchell was in the nicu for a month longer than his sister. It was torture but I knew he needed it. And, it was such an easier transition to bring one home first!

Congrats on your babies!! I hope they are both home soon!

 

I've never had a NICU experience but came here after seeing your BFing thread.

All I can add is "what newborn nurses every 3 hours?" My singleton nursed every 1-2 hour until he was 5 months old. It's just how he was and what he needed. Sure, that might be harder to handle with twins, but a criteria of every 3 hours seems a long stretch for any newborn, IMO.

Sending big hugs and really hoping baby can come home with you soon!

 

Thank you for the support everyone. I have been campaigning hard and all the staff know it so at least I know I'm being heard. In general Florida is one of the most scared-of-litigation, backward medical places in the country, so I am kind of blaming everything on that.

Chana'le has finally started to take full feeds and has been for the past 24 hours but still somehow managed to LOSE 10 grams today. I keep pumping hindmilk separately for her and bringing it in the hopes it will help her gain weight lol. I spoke to my favorite NP yesterday and she said if the baby had gained weight at the weighing tonight, she would push really hard to get her home on tuesday. Unfortunately,that still hasn't happened. We are hoping tomorrow will be better and she can be home wednesday.

I can deal with the stress etc, the problem is I have a husband, toddler and now infant at home who also need me, but no way can I leave my other baby in the hospital alone. At least I can leave my other kids with people who I trust 100%. This is taking such a toll on my whole family, especially my toddler, but everyone at the NICU is like 'Oh it'll be such an easier transition for you guys' (to only have one come home at a time) as if they are doing me a favor by making me shlep back and forth to the hospital twice a day and leave my infant with someone else.

My Baby B is having a LOT of trouble with nursing, which is freaking me out, because I seriously can't handle this whole bottle/pumping thing for much longer. But of course, she is being bottle fed exclusivley 6-8 times a day because I'm at the hospital. And of course, all these problems are because they wouldn't let me nurse her till she was 9 days old at the hospital.

Sorry to dump all this out, everything is so frustrating and sad right now.

I really, really, really salute the moms who have babies in the NICU for weeks and months on end!!

Also, if anyone would like to say some prayers, I have a friend who went into the hospital tonight who is 28 weeks preg (singleton) and having contractions and is dilated. Please send up some thoughts for a healthy, full term pregnancy!!

 

Aww!! I hate that weight gain game!! That was the circle that we got stuck in with McKenna. That stinks she won't nurse. Do you think they would let you stay there in a room and try to nurse on demand? Maybe more frequent feedings would help her gain!

I know its hard to do the back and forth thing. My twins were number 3&4 for us (I had a 2.5 yr old and 5.5 yr old at home). I wore myself out spending 12 hours a day at the nicu. In hindsight it was silly of me to do that I should have been home more for my other ones. Then when I had one baby out and one baby in, I took the one baby with me to the nicu everyday because she would only nurse so nobody else could watch her. I promise you this will all be a blur someday, you will wonder how you survived it all...but you will.
Have they talked about fattening up the breastmilk? Mine said normal breastmilk has 20 calories to it, they can bump it up to 24 calories by adding neosure or something like that to the breastmilk. Every little calorie helps them!

 

I don't know your complete story,does baby A have a feeding tube? Both my babies were in the NICU for 2 weeks and for a month. I finally broke down and said I am taking him I am done with this. He was just growing he had a feeding tube he wouldn't take a bottle. So I told my husband on Friday I am telling his hospital Dr today I am taking him home on Sunday! I called the Dr he would be seeing and told her my plan. She said that she was fine with him coming home with a feeding tube and would help me every step of the way. She could see him first thing Monday to just call and she would get us in. So on that Friday I seen the Dr and the nurse and asked do they send kids home with these feeding tubes. The nurse said yes we do on occasion. I said can I see the Dr please. He came by and I told him that K was leaving on Sunday with or without the feeding tube. That his Dr was on board etc. I called Sat night before bed to check on him. And the Dr had left a note for me to bring up several bottles for him to try. I still went to the hospital with the thought that they were going to teach me how to put a tube in (that's what they told me on fri). So me and nikels bought tons and tons of different bottles. Went to the hospital and tried several,then I pulled out and washed this real tiny bottle. It only cost .99 he drank out of it. He loved it!! the dr took the tube out and he went home with out the tubes. We had to still wake both of them up every 2 hours to eat. He only weighted 3.5 pound,but he was leaving that day!! I would just talk to the Dr and say we are leaving on x day. We appreciate you thinking of us on our sleeping schedule but we can handle it. These our are kids and they are both going to be home by x day!! If that's all that baby A is there for is to gain weight.
good luck