Baby Showers

OK...so I am coming into this "uneducated", only based off a some posts I read on here.

First off...I know everyone is different when it comes to their pregnancy, but I am just looking for a VERY general consensus.

My DW's friends want to throw her a shower. They said it is the "norm" to do so 4-6 weeks from the delivery date. Her 40th week is like Nov 10(of course this is what her friends are using as a due date...her 40th week mark)

They want to give her one Sept 20th. I sort of feel this is a little too late(but that is just me). I told her that it would be fine to agree to it, but let them know that not all pregnancies go according to plan...much less a twin pregnancy.

So...when did you Ladies have yours? Did you enjoy it, or wish you would have had it earlier on?

 

Hi! I think that is a bit late too... especially for a twin pregnancy when you never know what the end will entail (bedrest, early delivery, etc.). My friends are throwing me a shower in late September and our 40 week date is Dec 21.

Good luck!!

 

Yeah...I just wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one that thought this.

It's kind of a touchy situation since I know a lot of things go into planning a shower(time and money). Her old Boss is due Sept 1st with her first child and they are throwing her shower Aug 1st. I had first suggested Mid-August for my DW, but now I see that would be pretty difficult to have 2 showers with pretty much the same 2 groups of people will be in attendance, and her old boss's shower seems to be a pretty big one. Like 80 people...13 different hostess's???(my DW is a hostess, but she had no part in the planning...she was just told the details and just how much each hostess had to pay to cover the expenses). Anyways...that is a TOTALLY different story...Ha.

We really appreciate them planning one for her, but I just told her to tell them that come Sept 20th...she might not be in the condition to have a Shower...or at least enjoy it. If they want to change the date, then they can...

She really wasn't planning on having one for the most part(maybe just a few family members and such)...we are pretty simple and kind of go to the side of not a lot of Hoopla.

 

I also think that is a bit late. You want your wife to be comfortable and have a good time. From what I hear those last few weeks of a twin pregnancy are nothing short of miserable.

My shower was planned for when I would have been 28weeks 2 days, but my girls arrived the day before. Needless to say I never got to go, but my friends and family still gathered, the shower went on and my DH did a great job taking my place.

 

I had my shower in November and my due date wasn't until Feb. Turns out I had the babies in January, so you never know what might happen. I wanted to have it early because the bigger I got the more uncomfortable I was. I couldn't picture myself being 36 weeks pregnant with twins and trying to have a good time at a party, but that's just me.

 

I had mine at 5-6 months. Early yes, but at least I was comfortable, not on bedrest, and able to enjoy myself.

 

Yes...I told her that was my main worry...her being able to enjoy it.

Good DH for filling in for you...so cool. Did he dress up as you? LOL...now that would have been funny.

Yeah, if I was home we would have had a mixed shower. My Coach had one about a year ago for his first kid at our MMA Gym. It's 8,000 sq feet and though I have not been to many Showers...it was by far the most fun. We had a blast.

 

I also think it is too late ~

I had my first shower around 28 weeks. My friends thought that was too early, but I told them it wasn't & that I was worried about going on bedrest. I felt GREAT at that shower - lots of energy & was motivated to get all the gifts in the house & set up :good:

My other 2 showers (my family & DH's family) were later, around 33 and 34 weeks & I was pretty miserable I was so big at that point & at the 34 week one I was on bedrest so we had it at my house so I could stay comfortable.

The best advice is the earlier the better!!!

 

So...given that...

How do you approach that one? You Ladies know better than me. How do you request that it be earlier without annoying the ones planning it for you?

Like I said. I think it would be different and no big deal to have it Mid-August, but that would mean it would only be 2 weeks after her Old Boss's Shower...with pretty much the same people attending.

DOes she just go with the Sept 20th date and explain that "things might happen" before then?

Need a Ladies Point Of View...

 

No, he wasn't that good of a sport! :lol: Plus, I don't think a maternity dress would have been very flattering on him! Ours was a co-ed BBQ type shower, so it wasn't too weird for him. He did however Ooh and Aah about all the girly baby stuff like a champ! Most of his buddies wee there, so after all the main festivities, they sat around and smoked cigars and drank beer!

 

I just had to be honest with my girlfriends & let them know that there was a good chance that I was going to be on bedrest at some point. When they started asking about good dates for the shower I told them the earlier the better! I think that even earlier than 28 weeks would be a good idea!
Is she close enough w/ the girls planning it that she can just be frank w/ them?

 

That does sound like a blast!!!

Maybe I can have a Post-Shower with the fellas once I get back...but that is ONLY after she gets to have her "Girls Nite Out" while I feed and change diapers...

 

Yeah...to a point. Most of them are Career State Farm Women. She was soon to get her Agency, but decided to go the route of opening our own Resturant instead...more freedom of schedule...(which isn't helping her old boss's Agency AT ALL...LOL)

She said she will read what all you guys posted after the Lunch Rush. Her main friend hosting the party she can be frank with.

I just want her to be able to have it early enough to enjoy, but the other shower would be right around that time.

It's hard. I mean I know every pregnancy is/can be difficult, but it seems that people who don't have twins find it hard to understand that a Twin Pregnancy CAN be very different. I know I learned A LOT just reading on here...I'm like WOW at some of the things...

 

I had my shower December 6th and was due March 10th. I ended up having going on bed rest two days before my shower and having the babies December 28th.

Like Tamara and Kyrstyn said, the earlier the better! You just never know what can happen!

Best of luck!

 

My sister hosted my shower at 34 weeks and I found it really uncomfortable. My girlfriends hosted one for me at 31 weeks and it was perfect - I was comfortable and felt great! So I would recommend before 32 weeks.

 

I am having my baby shower Saturday at 29wks 2 days. Unfortunately I was placed on strict bedrest 2 weeks ago. We added a little note to the invites that explained we would not be having a traditional baby shower but would still love for people to come over for a quick visit and cake and ice cream. I'm really excited to see everyone but hope they make thier visits QUICK!! and don't expect me to open all the presents while they are here. I can't even sit up in bed and am really not too thrilled about being in bed when my visitors come.

 

That is another good idea if it comes to that. Yeah...better make sure they put QUICK in bold on there...LOL

I would think(or like to think) that people would understand. I mean first off you are probably not too pleased to be on bed rest, much less have people linger around. I know they mean well, but some people just don't get it sometimes. You know you will always have that 1 person...ha

 

I am due Oct 14 and just had mine this past Saturday. Early, yes but I wanted to enjoy it as much as I could because at times I already feel umcomfortable moving around and get tired really quick.

 

I think having a shower sooner than later is better because you can get the room set up and everything sterilized and ready for your little ones!! I am 26 weeks and haven't had a shower yet and told my friends that i don't want one past 30 weeks, just because i would feel unprepaired if i didn't have everything ready for my twins!!! Good luck with your shower!!

 

I think that she should find out from her closest friend if it would be possible to do it in August instead of September.
I know that I have been to back to back showers before (either on the same weekend or the next weekend) and it can be a lot of work for the planners, but just the ability to get together with your 'girls' (or everyone if co-ed)and have fun together is sooo worth it! Doesn't have to be a big fancy thing ~
Enjoying your first baby shower is a really special thing :good: I hope it works out for her!

 

I'll just throw in that I'm due Oct 16 and had my baby shower May 30th, but that's mainly cause we flew home from Hawaii to Colorado to do it at home w/ my family. Our first children and his parent's first grandchildren, so we chose to do it there instead of here.


The date they have for your wife does seem a bit too late, I'd rather be safe than sorry.

 

I've had 2 of them now, 1 at 27 weeks & 1 at 30 weeks. I insisted that they be earlier than most people planned- my MIL wanted to do 1 in August, but I thought it'd be too late, so I vetoed that. I figure if you are polite & explain why you want it early, most people understand. If you can conceivably give birth before the shower, it's time to have it earlier!!! :lol:

The shower at 27 weeks was very comfortable, easy to go to & fun.

I was sailing through the pregnancy, but the weekend of the 30 week shower I had a doc appointment the day before where they found that my cervix was shortening & I needed the steroid shots to mature their lungs. It was a virtual shower (on Skype-which is free!), but I found I couldn't sit up the whole time & had to lay down. I am surprised just how fast you can go from merely pregnant to a person who needs a wheelchair at the grocery store. Your wife shouldn't expect to have the same amount of energy for too long- it goes before you know it!

I would recommend if the workplace doesn't want to have a shower too early, do what a friend of mine will do for me- a "Baby Holding Party". It'll be at her house about a month after the babies are born, & we'll bring them to it, other than that it's a baby shower. (My work is notoriously late for doing baby showers and I can't plan on something happening at 35 weeks.) On second thought, you could do that when you get home on a Saturday as well with your fellas!

Good luck,

Michelle

 

My shower won't be until after the babies are born. So about 2 -3 weeks after they actually come out. We have picked a tentative date for Mid November as I am due Nov. 18 and my doctor put my delivery date at Nov. 4. I thought about having it before the babies came but no one would show up because too much can go wrong and its like a meet and greet for the babies. Everyone gets to hold and cuddle and feed them and I get a bit of a break! Lol! So we are going to send out the invitations and put permitting that everything goes good and the babies are home!

 

I had mine at 28 weeks and it was perfect timing for me. :good: I was definately big but not uncomfortable big, so I got to enjoy the party, walk around and almost bend down to open gifts. :laughing:

Just tell your wifes friend you've done your research and it's better if it's earlier. If they still won't change it, let it be.

 

32 weeks here... worked out perfectly, but that's the latest i would have it if i was her... with my first pregnancy we had my babyshower at 35 weeks 5 days and low and behold i had my daughter two days later 4 weeks early. Nothing was done.... nothing. Nothing was washed, put together, etc. We were a mess for weeks trying to get stuff together than add being new parents and learning how to breastfeed, and postpartum really bad.... i was a mess. Do it as early as you can so she can actually enjoy it and not worry about going into labor early.

 

28 - 29 weeks was mine-so much more comfy then and just kept prayin wouldn't go into labor before then! I didn't and I'm now 35 wks but it was nice to Slowly spend time since then putting all away and sterilizing and washing things. If my shower had been any later never would have gotten nursery in order as could do very little at a time.

 

Your DW and I are due around the same time - 40 wks for me would be Nov 19th. My mom and friend are planning a shower for September 19th, so the same weekend you're talking about, which puts me at 30 wks. We're a little concerned about the timing, but honestly, I wouldn't want to bring it any sooner now and have to get invites and all that rot out in a rush.