Baby Shower Vent

Hi Everyone,

I'm expecting G/G twins in September and just had my baby shower. I have read many posts about mother's to be not getting important items from their baby registry. I am now one of those mother's to be! While I am truly thankful for the gifts we did get I am shocked at the gifts we did not get. No pack n plays, highchairs, or carseats. I registered for items that were reasonably priced because I know times are a little tough for everyone right now. I would have been happy with large items that weren't on the registry just to have them. However, we received a lot of matching clothing, blankets, bottles, and diapers. Thank goodness for lots of diapers. I realize diapers can be an "iffy" gift because of fit/skin issues, but i'm hoping to make what we've received work! The thing that surprised me the most is that people kept commenting "wow, twins, that's great...you will need a lot of stuff." Yes we do, and apparently people thought we needed matching clothes the most! hehe Some of the clothing gifts were almost equivelant to high chairs. Anyway, we did get several larger items from parents/close relatives before the shower, but will be purchasing high chairs, pack n plays, snap n go and car seats on our own. I'm hoping to return a few double items to go towards the purchase of the items we need. Luckily, I do have some receipts!

Any suggestions about pack n plays? Do we need two? Certain brand/type?

Thanks for listening!

Summer

 

I just moved to a new country and knew nobody. I never had a baby shower and what I missed the most about it was not being able to sit around and talk to other people about what it was like to be pregnant or what it was like to have a baby. My dh and I had to buy all our major items but my family and friends were still very generous with sending items despite the cost of shipping so far away.

I'm sorry I'm sure you were looking for someone who would commiserate with you. I'm sure others will. For me it was a very sad time not to have someone to enjoy this special time with.

heather

 

maybe you can exchange some of the clothes for store credits and put it to use? i was very lucky in that my mother, MIL, and SIL asked me what big-ticket items i needed and they got me the pnp, swing, and stroller (Duoglider with one carseat/carrier, we bought the other). have those close to you shelled out at this shower, too?

unless you plan on traveling, one pack n play should suffice, at least for the first 3 months or so. i have one and my mom has one at her house, so now if we travel, we just take hers. i went with an graco in-between model with a bassinet and changer, since i use it as my downstairs changing station.

high chairs, we went with the seats that strap onto chairs which basically work like high chairs with reclineable and padded back, and were only $30 (safety 1st brand).

good luck!

 

that is disappointing! I would do as you said and return some things to purchase larger items. I just had the one pack n play - I used it as my bassinet for the 1st 4 months. now that they are bigger (18mos), I do not use it at all if we go anywhere which is VERY rare these days, they just sleep with me. high chairs you can get later - I would get one pack n play (at least for now but only if you plan on using it as your bassinet) no high chairs - save that for later!! and I would buy your stroller and carseats !! I never had the snap n go - I had a duo glider, but I imagine you could even find a snap n go in TS's shopping forum or in a consignment shop - plus check your newspaper for a twin club sale - I know ours is about to have a sale.

CONGRATULATIONS on your babies!!!! twins are SO AWESOME!!!

 

I didn't get alot of big gift items from baby shower either. I think it's just alot more fun to buy clothes and blankets and easier and that's what people go for. I had to purchase our infant rockers, pack-n-play, and strollers. The only big purchase I received were the high chairs. I agree with the others, take some of it back to the store to get some credit on the big things you need.

 

I feel you, so far I have had 3 people comment that there was nothing "fun" on my registry so they just bought something else. I felt like saying..we are so beyond the fun point people!! I guess I should just be thankful for what we will get, which I have an idea will be a lot of clothes too. People can't resist the temptation of the matching outfits

 

just be grateful for what you did get and exchange some of the excess stuff for a pack n play or what ever else you want.... people may have though that stuff was to expensive or that others would have got them for you... I didnt get the big stuff at any of my showers but that was okay because most of it you dont need right away and when you do need it by that time you reallize you may not need two of it all anyway....

 

My girls were born 12 weeks early, the day before my shower was scheduled so I never got a shower at all. I have bought things as I needed them. I started out with one PNP but now I have 2 because we camp a lot and there is no way my girls can share a sleeping space. I agree that you should return some of the clothes for store credit to help buy the big ticket items.

 

Before I had my son I did not think I would receive big items at my baby shower either. What I did do before hand was verbally tell people what I really wanted and needed. At work I told my co-workers that I needed a highchair and a baby swing, pampers and then I suggested that instead of people in the office giving me individual gifts that everybody pitch in and get a baby swing or a stroller/car seat. It worked to an extent. I also made sure I mentioned what I needed to the who's who of the office. Almost every office has a little miss. lets have a Christmas, Halloween, 4th of July potluck party. I mentioned it to those people and word spread like wildfire. The office gave me a really nice baby shower. I got my swing, a money tree, baby clothes, an activity mat and pampers. There were also people in the office that I did not even know owned there own businesses out side of work. On guy owns a children's clothing store and he walked over to me and told me to go over to his store and get what I needed. So of course I ran right over after work and got a really nice snow suit and a high chair. I also mentioned to my friends and family what I really needed. At that point I still needed a stroller/car seat, crib and bassinette. While I was at a friends house (who just had a baby a few months before) I noticed that she had a stroller/car seat that was still in the box in her coat closet. I mentioned that that was the one thing that I really needed and by the end of my visit her husband was putting it in my car. That left me needing a crib and a bassinette. I found a bassinette at a flea market for $15 and the woman was so nice she even trough in the baby clothes she had left. In the end my cousin gave me her crib because her son refused to sleep in it. By the time my family gave me a baby shower all I needed were bottles, clothes, diaper pail, pampers and toys.

My point is talk to people. You never know who they know, what they own or what they have laying around there home. Also go to flea markets you can find so many bargains there.

 

I am sorry that you are disappointed, we bought all of our own big stuff....we have a 2 story house so wanted duplicates of many things....we have 4 swings.....and vibrating bouncy seats.....it just makes my life easier. We bought most of them on Craigslist. check that out.....my guys are 7 months old and are no longer using the bouncy seats anymore....babies just don't use some of this stuff very long. Highchairs ....well we have them but they are not using them yet. So you wont need them right away. I would make sure you have your stroller, and I would do the snap n go....and 2 carseats.....and 1 pack n play. Since you got diapers, open them one bag at a time, if you find that one or both babies break out it is easier to tell what caused it. Also if you outgrow some or decide that one brand doesn't work for you, you can return the unopened ones.

Good luck!

Missy

 

Welcome to the ranks!! You are an official member!! :hug99:

I love the idea of you taking some of the outfits (forget that they buy them with ACTUAL sizes that may not match the season when the babies finally grow into them - because they might be small!) and getting the stuff you REALLY need!!

I vote for ONE pack-n-play as well!!!

 

Ahhh this is my biggest fear!!! My shower is in 2 weeks and I have 6 things purchased off my registry and 3 are from my mom (that I already got) and 3 items are under $10 not that it matters, but I am so worried I will have 1 month to get it all myself ahhhhhhh.. So sorry for you! I specifically told everyone I will not be dressing them alike so we will see..

 

QUOTE(firsttimetwinzymommy @ Jul 20 2008, 02:53 PM) [snapback]885981[/snapback]
Ahhh this is my biggest fear!!! My shower is in 2 weeks and I have 6 things purchased off my registry and 3 are from my mom (that I already got) and 3 items are under $10 not that it matters, but I am so worried I will have 1 month to get it all myself ahhhhhhh.. So sorry for you! I specifically told everyone I will not be dressing them alike so we will see..



Start watching your local craigslist!!! or check into your local moms of multiples club.

Good luck!

 

The only “major” item I got at my baby shower was my double stroller. Everything else we got ourselves or still had from our first DS. I took some stuff back and combined it with a gift card to get my PNP. I just figured it was wonderful that people got me stuff but not their job to provide for my babies. That is just me of course.
You wont need everything to start with the only things I would really worry about are the car seats, stroller, one PNP, a swing, and a bouncy seat. Everything else you can get as you go along.

 

I didn't have a shower this time (just two with my first 2 babies), but I already had at least one of each big ticket item. The consignment store and multiples sales in our state have been helpful in saving money. And many people are loaning me extras like cribs, bassinettes, 2nd baby bjorn. . .

We've gotten lots of diapers, blankets, match outfits as gifts too. Times are leaner for people - including us. I know it's aggravating, and you'd probably rather have monetary gift cards instead of the outfits and blankets. . .

 

Sometimes I think that gift registries should have never been created. I would honestly just be appreciative of anything I received. Duplicates can be returned or exchanged. Things like high chairs won't even be needed for a while. One pack n play is plenty to start off with. Babies really don't need a lot of "stuff." For the twins I did end up purchasing a second bouncy seat and a second swing after a few weeks.

Now, I am starting completely over again. We thought that we were through, so gave away nearly everything we had about a year and a half ago.

 

Same happened to us ! The girls are 6m now, and I am still happpy that I returned the expensive clothes etc and got what we needed. When no option but to exchange I went to the sale rack and made it work.

Where are you located ? Janes exchange in nyc has great 2nd hand stuff and I know a lot of placees you can get 2nd hand in any state so look into it.

I'm in NY. By the side we will have 2 pink snugrides and a snap and go for sale soon.
If NY isn't close I do know a ton of ladies online at twinsmagazine.com chat room ( you should join your month its great !) and someone is bound to be close to where you live !

Let me know if you want to be introduced to someone in your neighborhood with hand me downs ! Everything comes in very handy its kind of shocking how fast they grow and how much they need , LOL

 

This almost happened to us also. We had 3 showers due to distance of families. At the first 2 we didn't get any big stuff. I shared this info with my co workers, who had already been planning to surprise me with a shower. They all pitched their money together & got us some big stuff we really needed. I agree, return some of the outfits & get some stuff you really need. I vote for 1 pnp also.

 

QUOTE(firsttimetwinzymommy @ Jul 20 2008, 01:53 PM) [snapback]885981[/snapback]
Ahhh this is my biggest fear!!! My shower is in 2 weeks and I have 6 things purchased off my registry and 3 are from my mom (that I already got) and 3 items are under $10 not that it matters, but I am so worried I will have 1 month to get it all myself ahhhhhhh.. So sorry for you! I specifically told everyone I will not be dressing them alike so we will see..


We didn't get a shower this time. Mil & sil were putting together a "diaper and gift card" shower but my bb's came 8 weeks early. I did get a shower with ds1. We received a lot of gift cards and were able to take quite a bit back so we ended up with over $300 at BRU and at least $75 to Walmart plus stuff.
For N&M I ended up getting quite a few things, car seats, clothes, bouncy seat, highchair, misc floor toys and swing from a friend who had b/g twins 1.5 yrs before us. We got Graco carseats so we went with the Duoglider. I felt it was a better buy than the snap and go and a dbl stoller. The outgrew the carseat carriers around 6 mos and we purchased a Jeep SBS. We still use the DG for extended indoor outings but the SBS is awesome for outdoors.
My point to all of this is return stuff for credt and try to get the most use from your dollar.

 

I appreciate everyone's advice! Before the shower our parents, aunts, and gma's did get some big ticket items for us and we purchased a few ourselves. So I made sure to register for items that we didn't have yet, which I thought we would need. Again, I guess I was just surprised by all of the "wow you are going to need a lot of stuff with TWINS!!" only to find out that apparently "stuff" meant clothing, blankets, and bottles. Our girls will be our first children so we want to make sure we have items that we need and avoid items that are not necessary. I do have several friends from work who would like to give me their used baby stuff. I'm all for it now that I know what I received from the shower. I'm also going to check out a local consignment shop and Craigslist. Thanks again for the tips!

On a side note, my husband and I were tossing around the idea of asking for highchairs at Christmas! Is that bad?

Summer

 

No way! you should TOTALLY ask for some of the 'big ticket' items for Christmas It makes the most sense & you will be so glad to have that stuff that you KNOW you will be using ~
Towards the end of the pregnancy I made a list of every single thing that we still did not have & either bought it ourselves, asked for it as a gift from parents etc, borrowed or got it as a hand me down.
I loved all the matching outfits, but I didn't get to use them all since in the first few months the girls were different sizes!! (bummer!)

Good luck with getting all the gear you want/need

 

QUOTE(Summer26 @ Jul 20 2008, 08:20 PM) [snapback]886528[/snapback]
On a side note, my husband and I were tossing around the idea of asking for highchairs at Christmas! Is that bad?

Summer

I think that's a GREAT Idea!!

 

I agree with everyone about returning some things. I also think its a great idea to ask for certain things like that for christmas.

Our friend is having her baby shower in the town I used to live in. She's having a girl and I made sure to get something from her registry for reasons like that. She said we are the only ones that got her something from it. I feel bad but happy that we got her something that she can use and its getting shipped to her.

We had an idea of not telling anyone if we are having boys or girls and telling EVERYONE about the registry and making sure to pick things that aren't too gender specific. Its a little tricky I know, but we are about to move into a new house we are buying so money will be a little more tight and we really could use those little pushes. Someone is already giving us a stroller I guess so that helps. We'll definatly be hiting up the internet for items we will need later too!

I guess I just wanted to share my idea of not telling anyone what sexes are.

 

Oh, the matching clothes frenzy! I got so many matching things at my shower, it was crazy. I got 7 of the same exact sleeper even. I did return a lot of clothing, it was just so much they'd have never worn it all. Maybe you can do that and put it towards some larger items?

I have two P&P's, used them both, and still occasionally use them both when we travel.

 

If you received any stuff from Carters that you don't have a receipt for, you can in most cases return that to the Carters store if you have one near you.

I second checking out craigslist and also check out Mom to Mom sales (if you have them in your area). My MIL found her highchairs and PNP that she keeps at her house at garage sales. Someimes you can great stuff at something like that.

 

Just an FYI: Walmart takes back ANYTHING without a receipt!! Take those diapers back there and get store credit to buy your bigger items you need!

And for the record, I didn't use highchairs (just $25 fisher Price Booster seats) and I never regretted it! We also never had a pack n play. I just didnt' see the need.

I did have two swings though and dont' think I coudl have functioned without them!

 

It doesn't sound like you are doing too badly if you have a few big ticket items already from family and a heap of clothes, bottles and diapers etc from friends. Isn't this kind of the norm? We're getting stroller, car seats and crib from family, anything else would be a delightful bonus. As someone else said, I feel it's our job to provide for these babies. Just my opinion ...

 

I always use Christmas and Bdays for stuff needed for the boys. This year we're asking for booster seats for the twins since they'll be around 3.5 years old. We were unlucky in that our twins came 15 weeks early (before any showers) but very very blessed in that both of our work places came together and threw us separate huge showers after the fact and we got all of our big stuff. But the stuff we got that I was unsure about or we had duplicates of I returned and exchanged for a few final things, diapers, wipes and stuff.

I agree on only one pack N play as even if you travel they can both use the same one or you can borrow one as we always did. We also did the booster high chair seats that fit into the regular dining room chairs and Craigslist always has them around me for like $5 each. We did the Graco Duoglider which both of the carseats snapped into and then it's been awesome with the twins as they've grown older. The weight of getting it in and out of the van never bothered me as the function was so great.

Good Luck with everything!

 

Oh yeah, we had 2 swings as well (one purchased and one borrowed) and I fed them in those until they could sit upright well enough for those portable high chairs. Easier and cheaper and then you don't have to find the space for 2 of everything!

 

I purchased ALL of the clothing plus 1000000000 other things I would never use so in the invitation to my shower i had my stepmom write in BOLD::::

NO CLOTHING PLEASE!!!!! We are Registered at Babies R Us and Target. THank you!

THat way there was no room for someone to decide what THEY want you to have!! What's the point?? If you needed the clothes, you'd have registered for them correct?? This whole thing drives me crazy! Plus, it's for Mom to pick out the clothes anyway. We don't have people pick out OUR clothes and i kind of see it as the same kind of deal.

So.. to any future baby shower "havers" LOL... I suggest you have it written in there. May be kind of rude to some people but it worked like a charm for us. I didn't get ONE thing that I didn't register for!! Nice.

 

QUOTE(denali_ice @ Jul 20 2008, 08:49 PM) [snapback]886408[/snapback]
Sometimes I think that gift registries should have never been created. I would honestly just be appreciative of anything I received. Duplicates can be returned or exchanged. Things like high chairs won't even be needed for a while. One pack n play is plenty to start off with. Babies really don't need a lot of "stuff." For the twins I did end up purchasing a second bouncy seat and a second swing after a few weeks.

Now, I am starting completely over again. We thought that we were through, so gave away nearly everything we had about a year and a half ago.



I really don't like the idea of the gift registry either but when you say you are not going to register people go crazy!! With my last baby I only registered at Target and people complained about that-they wanted me to register at BRU as well. I thought BRU was more expensive and didn't want anyone to feel obligated.

We have been purchasing big ticket items from our local kids resale store when we see them because we know that when you need them they are not always there. So far we have bought a Graco play pen, double stroller, clothes, portable swing, and a brand new winnie the pooh photo album for all of our u/s pics. We have spent less than $150. I go about once a week and buy a lot of my older baby's clothes there too as well as my pre-teens much needed Abercrombie clothes. I have gotten some really good maternity clothes there too.

 

We did not get any big items off our registry either. I was surprised b/c these were the first babies on my side of the family in over 20 years, so I thought my relatives would go a little crazy -- not so much. But I do think that the registry is meant to make things easier for gift-buyers. It's supposed to be a guide, not an instruction list, so although I was surprised, I wasn't upset. After we got everything home and I had to put it all away I realized we did actually get quite a bit of stuff.

I ended up getting several big ticket items gently used from my sister and an acquaintance who has twins. It's nice esp since a lot of things only get used for a short time, like the bassinets. We didn't use highchairs until they were 8 months old, before that I fed them in their bouncies or Bumbos. I would definitely hook up with your local moms of twins club, ours always has someone wanting to get rid of stuff. And we only used one PNP in the beginning b/c we have a two story house. We got a second one for my IL's after I went back to work PT.

Jen

 

QUOTE(mandyfish3 @ Jul 21 2008, 12:51 PM) [snapback]887317[/snapback]
Just an FYI: Walmart takes back ANYTHING without a receipt!!



That is true, but once you hit your 3rd return, they cut you off. I know from experience.

 

I had pretty much one of everything from my DS, so that has worked out fine for us. We made it fine with one swing, one pack and play (to be honest, we really could have made it without a pack and play) The thing we could not have lived without 2 of was bouncy seats.

I took tons of stuff back to Wal-mart and BRU to get things that were more practical. It is so fun to buy clothes for twins (at least I think it is) that people forget what may be fun for them is keeping you from having the stuff you need.

As for high chairs, you will not need those for months, so there is no need to worry about them now.

 

My twins were our third and fourth kids so I didn't have a shower. We borrowed everything except high chairs, we never bought or used high chairs, just inexpensive Fischer Price booster seats. Good luck.