Baby Shower Blues

So, what's the point of having a baby registry if people aren't going to pay any attention to it? I had my baby shower on Saturday. I am happy, don't get me wrong! BUT (and this is where I become a brat), I did not register for things I didn't think I needed (at least 95% of things). Everything on the list was something I felt like we NEEDED. I mean, we have one son, so we had some stuff - but c'mon people. And the stuff I registered for was fairly cheap, too --- to accomodate any and every budget.

I did happen to get one thing that was kind of frivilious that I DID register for, and when I mentioned that I was happy to see that from my registry, they said "Oh, you registered for this?"

Oh well. I am just sweating it right now. We still need a mattress, a changing pad and I desperately need some window coverings for the windows in that room. I also need more nipples for bottles (desperately) and a handful of other things that I was really praying I would get.

Again, oh well. I am just frustrated and bratty. I am feeling the push right now and am scared my water is going to break any time and I will be left with a tight budget and a hundred more things I have left to buy!

 

I am right there with you... just spent the last two days trying to return things to Target and BabiesRUs w/hardly any receipts... not any easy task!! Good luck!

 

no.. your not bratty.. my mom asked me to register and I told her that I would do it. IF she asked everyone to please use it because I am in need of some very specific things and not so much other things. I don't want to waste my time (and energy.. because sheesh.. its effort ya know) to register and not get anything from it.

 

Rachael, I don't think you are being bratty at all. :hug99: There is a reason for registering and it sucks when most of the things you get aren't from the registry. I think people just love to buy baby things so they don't even bother checking the registry out first. ardon: I'm not sure, but I'm sorry they made you feel like this. :hug99:

 

I got soooo many clothes at my baby shower that I had no clue where they were from and had no reciepts for. It is amazing though that somehow, some way our babies have everything that they need when they get here . A lot of things I figured out I could do without anyway but it is irritating that people completely disregard all the effort, planning and thought that you put into your baby registry. Try not to worry just get what you can when you can and you'll be surprised how everything comes together. Dh and I were BROKE when our boys were born and they somehow ended up with more than I knew what to do with. We got everything else as we went along.

 

Not bratty at all. For the most part, people ignored my registry and bought 0-3 month matching baby girl clothes. While the clothes were lovely, we never got much use out of them since babies grow so fast. I wish people would have at least bought bigger clothes, lol. I noticed that for baby showers at work, those with singletons get a wider variety of items while the two of us that have had twins got all the matching clothing sets. I would have loved the huge diaper cake and bag of diapers someone got at a shower last week!

 

This might be kind of a dumb question...but are you sure people knew where you were registered?

Even if they did know, some people get so into the 'cute' factor of babies that they don't think of the necessities...

 

At my shower with Addyson, I was a little annoyed as well. I got a lot of stuff from my registry, but I agree. When you register for items, you know what you need/want specifically, otherwise why bother registering?

I won't be getting another shower, and I'm fine with that. I have a couple friends that are giving me some of their baby items (i.e. boy clothes, an extra carseat, the rest we'll have to get on our own).

Return anything you don't need/want and get what you really need.

 

At least you guys had showers. I'm on bed rest and so no shower for me - at least no one seems to think i need one since i'm in bed. what we did instead was to email everyone our registry and hope and pray that people buy SOMETHING from the registry. We are trying not to tell people the babies' gender so we don't end up with clothes - it seems like people tend to default to baby clothes when they don't want to go to the store where you are registered or even shop online. so far, nothing yet. we are afraid we may end up getting nothing at all. but we are slowly buying items ourselves. so far, we have two car seats and will order thecrib, mattress and stroller this friday. fact is, if people don't get us what we need, we need to get the stuff ourselves.

 

NOt sure were you registered, but my sister registerd at Babies RUS just for that purpose. She said, you can just add those things you got to your registery and then take them in and return them (just wait a few days) if its on your registery, you dont need a receipt and they give you store credit to get the things you really need.

 

Well, if one good thing comes out of so many people experiencing typically annoying shower gifts, it's that we all go on to make much more pratical gift givers at someone else's shower! I always try to buy of the registry...and if I buy clothes, I always get it for the appropriate season, but for over 6 months...since so many people focus on buy clothes for 0-6 months that you don't really need.

 

I know what you mean. My shower is this Saturday and only four items have been purchased from my registry. It is so much easier when people purchase what you requested in your registry. It saves you the hassle of having to return duplicate items and things you don't want. But I guess it is the thought that counts!

 

QUOTE(JB07 @ May 13 2008, 05:39 AM) [snapback]770192[/snapback]
This might be kind of a dumb question...but are you sure people knew where you were registered?

Even if they did know, some people get so into the 'cute' factor of babies that they don't think of the necessities...


Yep - it was on the invitation AND on our family website that I know most of them have links to.

 

Yes, it is the thought that counts. I really am thankful. And especially thankful for my best friend, who has twin girls. I've gotten the use of two Angel Care monitors, Two Graco car seats with four bases, two mobiles, two exersaucers, some bottles that I use that she didn't, some cloth diaper accessories.... SHE has been my God-Send!

I did go on my registry at BRU and change it to things I NEED ONLY. I mean, nothing frivilous... only things that I really want for these babies --- and things I really need. Like another mattress (that I won't get). But I did make sure prices vary from cheap and on-up so people CAN afford something if they choose to buy for me!

 

That is frustrating when you register for specific needs and no one pays attention. . . I've had to get used to it because my relatives are the worst! But I haven't had a shower since my 2nd baby. People still give gifts of their choosing, but no more big stuff. That's okay. . . we've held on to our stuff. We did have to invest in lots of stuff ourselves if we wanted it. And I've been saving up my birthday and holiday gift money for things I need/want.

I don't think you're a brat about it, but we have to remember the economy is squeezing most everybody these days. I'd exchange what I could/didn't need, make do, and start checking out consignment shops.

 

I'm SOOOO glad this topic came up b/c I've been stressing about it ever since I found out we were having twins!! I just gave my DH's cousin a baby shower 2 months ago and she only got *1* item off of her registry -- from her mom!! Everyone else there got her lots and lots of cute baby outfits and some cute blankets and bibs. One person went to the dollar store and got her around 20 items -- could she not have just picked out a few or even ONE of the less expensive things on her registry?? DH's cousin took it really well and didn't seem too surprised by her own family, whereas i was of the mindset that your FAMILY was who you could count on to get you what you need!

This has brought up quite a sensitive subject between DH and I -- i think we should NOT tell people the genders of the babies so that we can avoid the whole "cutsie twin outfits" thing, but he doesn't seem to think it's an issue and he thinks I am being greedy for wanting to get things we need (after my 3 sons were born i have gotten rid of everything, so we are starting from scratch!)... honestly I was trying to explain to him that a package of pacifiers or some burp cloths will cost less and those are things we need -- or diapers for goodness sake. We don't have a lot of people in our life to be at our shower besides his family and now i am stressed that we are going to have a closet full of cute outfits and nothing else!

Oh and it's already begun -- for mother's day I received one pink and one blue embroidered winne-the-blue onesie from dh's mom -- and we don't even know what we are having yet!

I'm so glad to know I am not alone here... I feel so guilty about how i feel about this!

jen

 

OK, I am sorry you didn't get what you registered for. But, I do think that people like to buy baby things, and they want to buy things they like. I do for other people's showers (buy what I want rather than what is on their registry). I figure it's my money, and I want to spend it on something I think is cute. And I'm ok if they don't keep it, or give it to someone else, but I also think people should be thankful for what they get. This comes from someone who never had a shower, but got tons of hand-me-downs from family and friends that I love and was grateful for everything I got.

 

QUOTE(momoftheforest @ May 13 2008, 07:03 AM) [snapback]770522[/snapback]
NOt sure were you registered, but my sister registerd at Babies RUS just for that purpose. She said, you can just add those things you got to your registery and then take them in and return them (just wait a few days) if its on your registery, you dont need a receipt and they give you store credit to get the things you really need.



YES! This is a great way to make returns since BabiesRUs will no longer return ANYTHING w/out a receipt unless it's a registry item. I guess some locations are still honoring their old return policy so it's hit or miss. Also, Target changed their return policy too: You can return items w/out a receipt but only up to 20$ in merchandise twice a year!!!

 

You have every right to feel the way you do! That's why people register, to get what they need!

I wish I could register, but my family all feels that since I have 4 kids, I don't need any help. We hardly make it week to week with our paychecks, and I still need to buy cribs, mattresses, portable swings, clothes, diapers, bottles, etc. Not sure how we'll do it. Not to mention we are in dire need of buying closet organisers so the twins will have some closet space, lol!

 

I only had a shower for my first, and would have felt strange having another. Most people don't do it around here. Not to mention, my husband and I are in an okay financial position to provide the things are girls need. Personally, I wouldn't have felt right about even another shower. I can see from all the replies though, that I am alone in that!

 

I have baby shower blues too but mine is different I have 2 ppl giving me showers and they are all waiting to long if you ask me....well my church is waiting til June and since I'm having one in June my other friend doesn't want to give me one til after the babies are born.....I'm sorry but I want everything over before they get here and wanted to have everything done by June.

 

I'm going with Brown Eyed Gurl on this one! I'm due around the same time and my mother just told me that she is coming up to visit the weekend of June 20th for my SIL's "mother's retirement party". Hmmmmm. Suspicious....
No one will tell me when my shower is planned but I suspect that would be when it is. I really think that the end of June is pushing it a bit with it being twins. It clearly doesn't leave me much time to buy the things I won't get from my registry before the babies get here, especially if I have to go on bed rest for some reason. I'm not being pessimistic, just practical.
I also fear that people won't buy from the registry, even though I felt HORRIBLE even making a registry. LOL I hope they do but at the same time I felt bad dictating to people how they should spend their own money on a gift. I have never had a registry before, not for my wedding, nor the births of my other two children (16 & 14 years old...) but I would like for people to at least use it as a guideline.

I bought plenty of outfits for the babies so I hope that people don't buy the matching clothing but I figure most people will. Another reason why I wish my friends had planned the shower for the end of May/begining of June, instead of the end.

 

I don't agree with 2nd baby showers necessarily either unless there are special circumstances, which I think twins are. When we had our first child (DD), I made sure everything big I registered for was neutral gendered, not pink, not blue. That way we could reuse everything for our second child even if it was a different sex. What I wasn't planning on was having to get one more of some things! We are now having twin girls so that helps alot as far as clothes go. My sister is throwing me a very small, family only, sprinkle shower and all I registered for was some big things that we willneed, like another high chair and car seat, things like that. I do hope that my family will help out and get me some of the bigger things too, because that is what we need. But if they don't, I am sure we will manage.
There are also other shower ideas that help in other areas if this is a second or third child. Like a frozen dinner shower or pamper the mom shower.

 

I feel ya. I felt like such a selfish snot after my shower. I am very happy that we have such loving and generous family. But all I got was clothes, clothes, clothes and the 2nd high chair and 2nd car seat I registered for. None of the clothes came with gift receipts and I suspect most of it came from Target (won't even go there as far as their horrible return policy). I still have all of my son's clothes, so I really didn't need that much. Plus, because everyone knows they're boys, everything is blue. My one saving grace is that we did not find out my son's gender until he was born, so his early clothes are all neutral. What I really wanted, and registered for, is all of the consummables - diapers, wipes, Tylenol, gas drops, shampoo, etc.

 

My shower was the same way. I did get some stuff from my registry but also stuff that wasn't and I would have rather just had what was on my registry too. I am right there with you.

Jen