Baby Gate War!

Dh and I are having a war over the baby gates. He wants to take them all down, I say NO WAY!!! We have it so we can shut them into the living room and have that room completely child proofed so their is no way they can hurt themselves, only each other The only time they are shut in just the living room however is when I am doing something and can't keep an eye on them, usually less than 1 hour a day total. Other than that they have free reign downstairs, but we have a gate up so they can't go upstairs. Dh says because they can go up and down the stairs fine by themselves we should take it down. My problem is what they do once they get up there. They can go into the girls' rooms and reek havock and get into god only knows what. They could seek and destroy so to speak. I told him I'm not ready for this yet, and if he was home with them 24 hours a day he wouldn't be either. Of course that ticked him off, I have a way of doing that I guess :rolleyes So, what age do you think the gates should come down and they should have free roaming over the house? The boys are 2 1/2 and I'm not ready. Of course Dh uses the arguement that I allowed the girls' to at this age, but there was only one of them at a time and they weren't NEARLY as active and curious as they boys are.

 

Dh and I are having a war over the baby gates. He wants to take them all down, I say NO WAY!!! We have it so we can shut them into the living room and have that room completely child proofed so their is no way they can hurt themselves, only each other The only time they are shut in just the living room however is when I am doing something and can't keep an eye on them, usually less than 1 hour a day total. Other than that they have free reign downstairs, but we have a gate up so they can't go upstairs. Dh says because they can go up and down the stairs fine by themselves we should take it down. My problem is what they do once they get up there. They can go into the girls' rooms and reek havock and get into god only knows what. They could seek and destroy so to speak. I told him I'm not ready for this yet, and if he was home with them 24 hours a day he wouldn't be either. Of course that ticked him off, I have a way of doing that I guess :rolleyes So, what age do you think the gates should come down and they should have free roaming over the house? The boys are 2 1/2 and I'm not ready. Of course Dh uses the arguement that I allowed the girls' to at this age, but there was only one of them at a time and they weren't NEARLY as active and curious as they boys are.

 

Gosh, Kris and I were just talking about how nice it would be when the girls could go anywhere in the house and not be so confined I was thinking by summer or next fall that they would be able to...maybe not though The girls are our first, so I have no real concept of what age things can and should happen until I get there, LOL. I can understand why you need to leave the gate up if you are doing something and aren't able to keep a keen eye on them. Maybe you should leave your husband alone with them on a Saturday, and leave him a to do list of all the normal things you do in a day and see if he could pull it all off without that gate...I'd bet then he would be okay with leaving the gate up.

 

We never put up a gate. The boys learned where they can go and where they can't pretty quickly. I think kids are more intrigued by what is unavailable, by making everything accessible, they stay away from the places they are supposed to stay out of simply becaue there is no reason for them to go.

 

The upstairs is my problem. We have the cat's little box in one of the girls bedrooms to keep it out of reach from the boys, plus it is her cat! The other day they got in there and dumped a whole can of turtle food into the turtles tank (yes, she had a turtle as well ) not to mention their beads, cd's, nail polish, ect... I can't ask them to child proof their rooms, to me that is just not right. That is the one thing that hasn't changed for them since the boys came along.

 

can you put a child lock on the girls' doors. Even something simple like a hook and eye where the girls can reach it, but the boys can't. Good luck!

 

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Dh and I are having a war over the baby gates. He wants to take them all down, I say NO WAY!!!


I'm with you on this one. Babies, kids and teenagers need boundaries. I would still be afraid of the stair issue, let alone what else they could get into. Kids can be clumsy and the potential for a nasty fall is still there, IMO. 2 1/2 is NOT that old. As a parent, we have to do our best to keep them safe at all times.

Angela

 

Our toddlers have free reign of the house. The only baby gates we have up are at the doorways of the laundry room & to the downstairs bathroom. All other room doors are closed or open with a door stop. They can go up & down stairs just fine. I feel the PP is correct... if there is a room off limits, it makes it more interesting. My two know what they should and should not get into. Sometimes they press the limits, but they know!

 

Oh, Janie!! I don't have that worry with other older children but I can see what you are saying. I would say - and don't tell DH- to keep up the gates a little longer maybe since you are the one at home with the boys and have to clean up after any consequences of their "discoveries".

 

We took down the gate from our family room/kitchen area to the rest of the house so that the twins could go up and down the stairs right around the time they turned two. I have to say it scared me to death for the first few days. I'm still a little worried about DS on the stairs. He just seems a little clumsy while DD is much more stable. But, we were having several people come and stay with us for the twins' 2nd birthday and the gates would have been an issue (somehow most people can't seem to figure out how to open the gate ). We still blocked off a couple of areas that I really don't want the kids to access. We ended up moving the one gate to the short hallway leading to the master bedroom and powder room. I also replaced the door knob on the upstairs bathroom from a lever type to round knob so that I could put a child cover on that door. Last, we block off DH's office since that we be really hard to childproof. Could you put gates on the girls' rooms?

 

We have "free range children" as my DH calls them. We had a superyard set up in the livingroom but we took it down once the kids were aware of the stairs and how to go up and down confidently. We keep certain doors closed (like the office and the room where the cat's box is) but that is only when we aren't with them. We want the kids to be familiar with our house and where they can and can't go. I can understand your concern but maybe there is a compromise with certain areas and certain gates?? Just a thought.

Lisa

 

If it prevents them from getting to the front door as a toddler, then opening it, and venturing out into the neighborhood without you knowing...then I'd think you would want them. I speak from experience and I'm ashamed to say that. My 4 yr old cannot open the type that we have and we use them for that reason.

 

Our gate is screwed into our bannister and the wall at the top of the stairs, so it is goign to stay there for a long time (it can swing open so sometimes we leave it that way). I LIKE to keep them in one area - either upstairs or downstairs. We have a rule that we clean up the level before we go to the next level. It's the only way to keep them safe and confined.

So nope, no plans of taking ours down.

 

I think if it makes you more comfortable to keep the gate up and you are the one home with them during the day, then I think your vote wins. If your husband wants to have the gates down during the evening when he can help redirect and corral, then take them down then to ease into it. While I can somewhat see the point of view that the forbidden is off-limits and taking the gates down will remove that forbidden aura drawing them to those areas, I also know that sometimes it's better/safer/less exhausting to just have the dang gates up until they are older and understand a bit more. We personally still have the girls confined with gates/doors to just the family room and their (shared) bedroom, and it's what works best for us and our style. If the upstairs doesn't have any areas that are baby-approved or baby-proofed, then what is the point of letting them up there anyway? So keep the gate up for a while longer, IMO, if it makes you feel more comfortable and it gives your older kids a little bit more of a "baby-free buffer."

 

I have 13 mo. old twins and a four year old. We have a gate at the bottom of the stairs and a gate at the top of the stairs. I have wood railed stairs all around the sides so no one can go through the bars. I am so glad that I kept my gates up for my four year old and babies. I have friends who had accidents on the stairs as adults. One woman still has bad problems and the other gal fell when she was 17. So even older people can get hurt, how much more children! I always worry about my four year old. She will go up and down the stairs without holding the sides. My worst fear is that someone will leave the gate open at she will hit her head on the tile below. I read an article about a young teenager in the Woman's World magazine article, who had fallen down the stairs and hit her head really badly. She was in a coma and had to have all kinds of therapy before getting somewhat normal again. I will keep my gates up a long time! It is better safe than sorry. Mothers have a good instinct for their children. Like you said, you are with your children all day long. If the gates make the babies safer, keep them up! My sister in law and her husband are trying to adopt some children. The county where they live has required them to have safety gates up for children as old as four years old! So my vote is to keep the gates up! I hope that you and hubby can come to an agreement with this.