baby fighting the latch?

Our twins are almost 2 weeks old.

Our baby boy cries and squirms and pushes at my breast like he's trying to get away whenever I attempt to feed him. He takes a bottle easily. I think maybe he just prefers the bottle and that's why he gives me such a hard time breastfeeding, though it isn't ALWAYS so hard to latch him. I've also considered that something I've eaten is upsetting him, except that he seems calm during / after a feeding, just not before it.

Both our baby girl and boy take forever to finish a breastfeeding. I start them on one breast and usually feed for 15 minutes before burping them - they tend to fall asleep on my breast by then so I burp them to wake them up. Then I put them back on the same breast for usually another 10-15 minutes. They still act hungry so then I move to the opposite breast. This whole process usually takes 45 - 60 minutes and sometimes after I am done they still act hungry and will take another ounce to ounce and a half of formula or expressed breast milk.

I'm feeling sort of at my wits end right now. Is my milk supply just not good enough? I'm feeding one or the other baby every few hours and pumping to empty after I feed each one. I usually get about an ounce to two ounces of breastmilk out with a pump after a feeding.

Is there anything else I can do? I'm not sure I can continue doing this because I feel like all I do is pump and breastfeed and even then it isn't sufficient.

 

Here's a great article from Kellymom on helping coax a baby onto the breast.

Also, I just wanted to offer some encouragement! :hug: Your babies are only 2 weeks old. You're right in the thick of the breastfeeding learning curve - this is a skill that all 3 of you need to learn and that takes time & patience. It sounds like you guys are doing well, as overwhelming & futile as it may feel sometimes. It is possible that your milk supply is playing a bit of catch up right now - producing enough milk for two babies can take time, especially if babies aren't always nursing effectively at the breast. The nursing/supplementing/pumping cycle is without a doubt exhausting! But I promise, it won't be like this forever. For this first little while though, nursing does become your main (and often only) job - having a lot of other support to help take care of everything else around the house (including you!) can be really helpful (whether it's your partner, family members & friends or a postpartum doula). Have you tried breast compressions while nursing? It can help increase the amount of milk baby is getting at the breast & also help shorten nursing sessions a bit. Hang in there! :youcandoit:

 

Ooh, something Rachel said spurred my memory. I had one who would almost knead my breasts with tiny little fists in the beginning. I thought it was weird and stopped him. It turns out he was probably doing breast compressions for me. There are a lot of growth spurts in the first 6 weeks and they are raising your supply every time they nurse, get off, and nurse again and you supplement.

Take heart- you are doing a great job. Rest, eat, drink and nurse are your priorities right now. Let the house go (or call in every favor you've ever done for others). See if a local church will bring you meals- cooking can be hard when you are trying to feed 2.

 

Good advice from pps!

A couple of mine would NEVER latch well unless I was holding them football hold... until they really just got too big for it, and by that time they were well-established nursers. So you might try changing how you hold him. He might just not be in a comfortable position for him.

And 2 weeks old take forever to eat. Not just twins, pretty much all of them. I had a Dr. tell me that if they were eating for more than 20 minutes, that they weren't doing it right or were just pacifying themselves. Baloney! He obviously never nursed a newborn. I've nursed 6 of them, and have been around LOTS more with my friends and family. It's totally normal at first. And it can be hard when they're still tired and falling asleep in the middle, without really filling up. Then you feel like you're doing nothing in the world except nursing. BUT, it gets better. By 3-4 months they're down to 20 minutes and by 8 months, most of mine could eat in 5 minutes. Sabrina always took much longer. But at 5.5 yo she still takes for.ev.er to eat!

 

My mother has been in the last few weeks helping out with housework, but she's been a bit of a hindrance to breastfeeding. She hovers over me asking if they are getting enough and then insists on giving them formula (or expressed milk now that I have a little) afterwards because she's worried that they aren't eating enough. It's been exhausting dealing with the babies and then my mother sort of encourages my feelings on inadequacy. My husband has been very supportive but he's at work all day. Next week he starts working from home 2 days a week and Mom is going home, so I'm not sure if it will be better or worse... I won't have the house work support but I will have the emotional support from my husband. I'm going to ask my mother in law to come help when she can this next week.

I've made it 2 weeks tomorrow, which was my original promise to myself... that I would breastfeed for 2 weeks. My husband wants me to try for a month and then re-evaluate, but I'm worried about how hard it's going to be by myself. I'm not sure I can make it the 3 or 4 months it will take for them to get better at nursing and I have to go back to work around the time they are 3 months.

I've tried breast compression but I'm not sure if I'm doing it right... I've just tried squeezing, my breasts are big enough that I can't actually get my hand around my breast very easily.

I'm glad to hear that it's normal for babies to eat for a long time, though... every book I've read said that if they eat more than 15-20 minutes on a side that you are doing something wrong. I am planning this next week to try and go see a lactation consultant, but I can't find one that will come to my home so I'm not sure how much good it will do... I've found that latching them is a completely different experience depending on whether I'm sitting on the couch, recliner, or in my bed.

 

Ah yes! The (un)helpful help. I remember in the early days, my MIL & DH would immediately bring me one or both girls if either of them squeaked because "they must be hungry". Being a new mom, I often thought the same. So for those first weeks I remember feeling like I literally had one, the other, or both babies attached to a boob around the clock. With what I've learned since about newborns, I realize now that they actually just needed to sleep, not to eat. At a certain point, you have to let go & trust that your body is working the way it's supposed to. Remember to keep an eye on babies' output (what goes in, must come out) - if they're having lots of wet & poopy diapers, they're getting enough milk. :good:

It sounds like you're doing the compressions just right. Mostly you're just trying to increase the flow for a bit so they keep sucking.

I would really encourage you to look into hiring a postpartum doula (you can often find doulas who are working towards their certification who will work for a low rate, or even volunteer their hours). They aren't lactation consultants, but they do have breastfeeding support training - and will know which LCs in your area will do home visits. Check out DONA for more info.

Also, congrats on reaching your goal!!! :yahoo: Well done. If you feel up to it, I think your DH's idea to give it a few more weeks is a good one - who knows? You may find it's not as difficult as you're expecting. Or, it it is, you may find within a few days you've figured out some new strategies & things fall into a good routine on your own. It's always worth a try. :good:

 

Congratulations on meeting your goal! I found the first 6 weeks to be tough and after that, it got easier day by day. Honestly, for me, 3 months was great as far as nursing went. Mine shortened up their sessions to less than 15 minutes a time by that time (mostly- the evening feed would go longer).

Ugh. I'm so sorry your mom is unhelpful. My MIL was a bit like that. If they weren't in a growth spurt and I'd just nursed a baby 30 minutes ago, I'd tell her I wasn't nursing again for another 30 minutes. We'd have to find another way to comfort the baby in the meantime. Luckily I didn't have bottles in the house, otherwise I'm sure she'd have been stuffing them every chance she got. :laughing:

I will say it was nice having just my DH home with us for the first bit, no relatives, b/c he was so supportive with BF and my MIL and mom were a bit confused (from the generation of formula being healthier than milk).

 

Hang in there! It will get easier. It would be a shame to give up before you ever get to easier. I remember the first 6 weeks of my twins lives as the worst 6 weeks of my life. I've never in my life done anything as hard. And I've done some pretty hard things. By three months I had forgotten what all the fuss was about!

 

Accidentally posted under my husband's profile. :blush: See below for my post

 

I agree with this 1 million percent! Breastfeeding is a leap of faith and you have to trust that your body can do it. Babies naturally suck when something is put in their mouths, so just because they take a bottle after nursing doesn't mean they are hungry.

Your post doesn't mention their sizes or how many weeks they were at birth, but that can have a big impact on feeding in the first few weeks. I had similar problems with my son at first. He was the smaller twin and he had a lot of problems figuring out how to latch. He would push away, fight, scream, and it could take me 20 minutes to get him latched. A LC I saw right after I got home from the hospital had me try a nipple shield and it worked wonders to get him latched in the first few weeks. Once he grew and was stronger, he was able to latch directly (he was 4 or 5 weeks old). You can find them at Target or BRU, and they aren't very expensive, so I would try one to see if it helps.

I never pumped in the beginning because I felt like nursing was time consuming enough that the idea of adding something else was overwhelming. I would try ditching the pump for a day or two and just focus on feeding your babies. What worked for me was to feed one on one breast and then feed the other on the second breast. Next feeding (2-3 hours later) I would make sure that the babies switched breasts so that my strong nurser wasn't spending the day on the same breast. I think that the routine of feed, burp, feed, switch, feed, bottle is wearing you out and may be confusing the babies. I would stick to one breast and honestly, 15 minutes of active feeding before falling asleep is ok. If they act like they want more after burping then definitely put them back on, but if they stay sleepy after burping, let them sleep, move on to next baby, and then when first baby wakes back up they may actually feed better at the next feed.

You also want to be careful with the bottle "chaser" because it can actually hurt your supply. Babies have to work much less to take from a bottle than from the breast, so they learn very quickly that they can be lazy at the breast because they know they will get what they need at the end anyway. Over time, they take more and more from the bottle and less and less from the breast. If I were you I would stop giving bottles, use your mother for soothing, swaddling, getting babies to sleep, and REST in between nursing sessions. Rest, sufficient food and sufficient water intake can do wonders for your milk supply. The total needs of a baby at 2 weeks old is about 1-1.5 oz per feeding, so the fact that your mother is still harping on you to give formula is just showing her lack of knowledge for what a baby this age needs and what baby is already getting from you.

Lastly, it is great that you are setting short term goals and you have met one already. My two pieces of advice are to set small goals and re-evaluate as you reach them because it does get easier with time and to never quit on your worst day. I found that the first 2 weeks were the absolute hardest, then once I got through the 6 week growth spurt it got a lot easier, and then once I got to 3 months it was so easy I never wanted to quit! Keep up the good work and keep using your resources for support! :youcandoit:

 

I'm going to try and change a few things after my mother goes home on Sunday, and hopefully I'll start to see a few improvements. I always felt frustrated with giving them a bottle after every feeding but my mother just harps on me if I don't about how they are still hungry... and honestly they do seem hungry, they will fuss if I lay them down. I do have a feed or two every day where they get only breastmilk and do just fine.

One of the babies is crying so I'll have to finish this later!

 

This is exactly what I was talking about - this is when I'd end up in the perpetually-on-the-boob cycle. I'd nurse them, they'd fall asleep, I'd lay them down & within minutes (or even seconds sometimes) they'd be fussing & whining & grunting & rooting & so I thought they must be hungry again. More often than not though, what they really needed was help soothing themselves to sleep - the rooting was more to do with self-soothing (sucking is one of the most powerful and one of the only tools a newborn has to soothe themselves) than to do with being hungry.

Have you tried the 5 Ss? You may find it takes a good chunk of time the first few times to get them used to settling this way - I like Michelle's 60 minutes between nursing sessions idea. If it hasn't been an hour since they finished, keep trying other soothing methods before going back to the boob. I say all this with the caveat to trust your instincts as well though - if you're sure they're hungry, then of course, feed them!

 

I kept track for a while about length of session and wet/dirty diaper output. My goal was to fall within the normal range and as long as that happened I knew they were ok. Not necessarily happy all the time, but I knew that hunger couldn't always be the problem, kwim?

How could I have forgotten about the genius-ness of the 5-S's? They were a lifesaver once I realized mine weren't *always* hungry (& yeah, they are hungry a lot). Mine adored the loud kitchen fan on full blast, the vacuum on by their bouncies, the LOUD shh!!!! sound in their ears (that you make) and the jiggling. That jiggling was like magic- my DH would do it and he'd jiggle them to sleep. It was awesome! I'm going to see if I have any old video of him doing it (and singing- bonus!) :laughing:

 

I would try breastfeeding at least a month. For me, I had a lot of trouble with my DS #1 and it really came together after a month. At two weeks old I feel like it was the worst. He would nurse for 45 minutes, be off for 45 minutes, then be screaming to eat again. It was really difficult but after around 4 weeks we both got the hang of it. Given all the trouble I had with my first, it made my BFing with the twins actually seem easier in comparison. My one twin for like the first 6 weeks would push back away with his arms when I was trying to latch him on. I had to force him forward and latch him on. It was kind of like he just didn't know what he was doing with his arms. My other twin was just a weak latch and I went through BFing and pumping with him. We were able to gradually wean away from that. With the twins, I would say it came together at around 4-5 weeks as well. I really feel its a turning point. Overall, putting all the debate about the benefits of breast milk aside, BFing is so much easier than bottles and pumping. You never have to pack when you are going out, sure makes night feedings easier.

 

Well Mom and Dad went home today so I was able to nurse out in the living room where I am most comfortable without worrying about modesty. My little girl continues to be a great nurser and I managed to nurse her all but one feeding today with no follow up bottle - she got a bottle feeding at church this morning. My little boy on the other hand continues to put his hands in the way and get angrier and angrier as I try to latch him. He actually does the same thing with a bottle but it's easier to get a bottle between his hands than to get him latched on my breast. I'm feeling very overwhelmed with him and continued to give him a follow up bottle of formula because I can't get him to eat enough at the breast to seem satisfied - he pulls off constantly and so it takes me another 5-10 minutes to relatch him each time. Sometimes he will eat for awhile no problem but it's rare. Tomorrow will be my first day alone with both of them and I'm really concerned about trying to feed them by myself.

 

Try swaddling him before nursing (strip him down to his diaper & then wrap him in a light weight receiving blanket) - it may make him a little bit sleepier but at the least it'll keep his hands out of the way so you only need to focus on getting that big wide open mouth from him to latch him on. And take a deep breath! Have a plan A (nurse them both) but if that doesn't work out, than go ahead & do what you need to do to make sure he's fed & you're sane. :hug: Then try again the next day.

When I was trying to get my girls exclusively to the breast (we had had a couple of different issues in the beginning including bad latches & low supply), my goal was to start every day by nursing on demand for as long as possible that day & then when I just couldn't take anymore (either my nipples were too sore or I was touched out or just didn't want to sit on that darn couch for one.more.second) I would give them both bottles for the next feeding (or sometimes for the rest of the day, depending on my mood/energy level) and start again the next morning. I remember at first I would manage one, maybe two feedings at a time at the breast, before it felt like too much. But gradually things improved & within a few weeks we were doing all our daytime feeds at the breast. :good:

Hang in there! Keep trying different things until you find the pattern/method/"trick" that works for you & your LOs. :grouphug:

 

:hug: I'm so sorry you had to worry about modesty and feeding 2. That is really difficult. Rachel's suggestion is a good one- let us know how he does with it (if you do try it). :hug:

 

I've started swaddling our boy if needed and that has helped... it's so hard to get him latched if he gets worked up and puts his hands in the way. He's been nursing a bit better, but his latch could still use work.. he just doesn't gape as widely as his sister and so he ends up with a poor latch a lot which forces me to pop the nipple out of his mouth and start over. It takes so long some days I just feel tired and frustrated by the time we get through. Yesterday he did better at a few feedings, though.

Last night I gave them bottles instead of breastfeeding because the last few nights I've just been exhausted from carrying them into the living room, nursing them one at a time, and then holding them to get them back to sleep. My husband will help give them a bottle but if I just breastfeed he can't help, obviously. After three nights in a row of barely getting 4 hours of broken sleep I felt like I had to do something. I don't know how everyone breastfeeds in bed, I find it very difficult... I can't get them latched lying down.

I've been focusing each morning on breastfeeding as long as possible as miss_bossy suggested and then bottle feeding when I get too frustrated. I think it's been helping- I breastfeed exclusively our girl yesterday and only gave about 6 ounces of formula all day to our boy, he mostly breastfed, at least up until their evening feeding.

I'm working toward a month of breastfeeding, still not sure where we'll go from there. I often joke with my husband - would it be so bad to only breastfeed one of them, since our girl is so much easier to breastfeed?

 

I'm glad you're having some success with the swaddling! One trick I learned to help with a shallow latch that doesn't involve un-latching & re-latching baby is to gently pull down on his chin while he's latched on - that helps open up his mouth & get just a bit more breast in.

I find side-lying nursing is really only an option once you know their latches are really, really good - it can also take some propping (I used to have to lean back slightly to raise my nipple high enough off the bed for the girls to latch on, so I would tuck my body pillow behind my back to lean against). It's true that your husband can't actually help with the breastfeeding, but he could help by bringing babies to you while you get settled on the couch & then taking babies immediately after they're done & doing the burping/cuddling-to-sleep portion of the routine. Although, giving bottles at night is a great solution as well! DH & I shared every night feeding for the first three months (I don't know how he survived going to work every day also!) because we found that was the best way to maximize sleep. When the girls woke, I'd start by warming their bottles, while DH got up & changed them. I would hop on the breast pump while he gave them both their bottles. I usually finished pumping right around the time the girls were done eating, so we'd each take a baby to soothe back to sleep. The whole thing usually took about 30 - 45 minutes. :good: Once I was confident in the girls' latches & nursing efficiency (usually nursing for about 15 - 20 minutes), I started doing the night feeds on my own.

:yahoo: That's awesome! I'm glad you're finding a routine that's working. And nope, it wouldn't be so bad to breastfeed only one, if that's what you feel would be the best decision for your family. :youcandoit: