Babies won't sleep on their own

My baby boys were born at 36 weeks, and are now 4 weeks old. My problem is that they only seem to sleep when they are in contact with me. When they first came home they were OK and slept in their cribs, but now they just don't want to go there. During the day we sit on the sofa with the feeding pillow. When they are hungry I feed them and then they go to sleep on my lap. If we try to put them in their cribs they wake after a few minutes (maximum 15 minutes) and cry. They only way of calming them is to feed them again - really just comfort sucking. We tried putting their cribs in the living room during the day so that they could hear us moving around, but that didn't work. They don't like to be swaddled, as when we wrap them up they fight to get their arms free, which wakes them up. My DH is not really able to calm them, he tries so hard, but they keep crying until they are with me.
I know that they are only 4 weeks old, and adjusted to their gestational age they should only have been born yesterday, so I have to give them a little leeway. But this is a habit that I would really like to change though so that I can do some things for myself without the background soundtrack of crying babies, and nap without having to have them lie with me. Any suggestions?

 

Have you tried using a baby swing or bouncy seat. Those helped my twins when they were that little, it would keep them occupied and help them sleep while we could get something done.

 

I had several babies like that and as much as I enjoyed the snuggle time, it does get tiring! I agree with Nancy, have you tried a swing or bouncy chair? Not much worked for me, I just learned eventually how to very carefully put them down so they didn't wake up. Sometimes it meant they napped on the sofa where we were sitting at the time they fell asleep because I could just kind of slide them off of me. But once they got old enough to move around I had to learn to get them in the crib.

 

We used the bouncy chairs most often for naps. We would hold them and feed them. When they got sleepy, we put them in the bouncy and rocked them to sleep. We also used our swing for naps. Have you tried swaddling? We also used swaddling in the bouncies as well as the pack and play.

 

I thought my girls didn't like swaddling for the same reason... cause it seemed like they wanted to bust out of it. but I realized that it was only when it wasn't tight enough. they have to be snug enough to not be able to get there arms free. and then, you have to take it a step further. Cause the swaddling wasn't enough. I had to rock them on there side, while swaddled, till they calmed down, and then I could put them down. watch HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK. thats where I got it from and it really works. Rented it from the library.

the 5 S's.
swaddle
side/stomach rocking
shhhh's
swinging/rocking
sucking

 

You have my sympathies! We went through this also for about a month. I spent 90% of my day with babies eating or sleeping on me. They would sleep in their crib at night, but not during the day. They were terrible nappers. I lost most of my baby weight because I could not get off the couch to eat. My guys would not sleep in a bouncy, swing or even in the car. The good news is this is temporary and my guys now go to sleep on their own in their cribs. I know it’s hard, but try and enjoy the cuddles now. GL!

 

i agree with the above on the Happiest baby on the block book. Swaddle them tighter, my dh was better at wrapping them tight. If they get their hands out they are not good at getting their thumbs in their mouth so their hands are arms out wakes them up. Also I was going to say that babies WAKE -UP on their DUE DATE. I know you will miss that sleepy newborn weeks but this is normal. They INCREASE IN FUSSINESS until they reach 6 WEEKS past their DUE DATE (not birth date) and then they start to improve after these 6 weeks.

See if putting them on their stomach on your knees. Or have your husband put them on their tummy, on his arm, with their face in his hand. He can walk around like this, their arms and legs straddle his arm. This puts pressure on their tummy and they feel better.

Often they get what is called the "witching hour" often in the evenings. My two would cry for 2 hours straight from 6-8 or 7-9 every evening. They were only less crying when on their stomach on our knees. Funny my last daughter liked my mother's knees better. Even at restaurants I'd put her on my lap on her stomach. Baths can also calm them sometimes.

These first months it is just trying everything, swings, bouncers, stroller rides, etc. It will get better but just try to find what they like and use it. As they get closer to 3 months they start to get a better and more predictable. Try to enjoy the cuddles while you can, as early as 4 months you dont' have the opportunity to hold them for hours.

Hope it works out.

heather

 

I would recommend a swing or bouncy chair too, they are really good for little babies, especially if you pop them in when swaddled
As far as your DH not being able to calm them, it is normal, all four of my boys were like this too, it's a phase that will pass, they are just much more used and comforted by your scent and your touch than your DH's right now. The twinkles are now able to be soothed by their daddy too, but that only really happened the past three or four weeks.

 

Heather,

thank you for your post! Like the OP, my babies were born at 36 weeks and are currently 4 weeks old. Both babies go through a "witching hour" from 7 or 8 till 10, it's horrible! After that my DD calms down and goes to bed without a problem, but my DS spends all night grunting, groaning and just being difficult. He sleeps fine if I pull him into bed with me, and sleeps well during the day...but I think that's because I put him on his stomach during the day since I can watch him. It's the night sleeping that isn't working out so well, my DH and I are exhausted! I'm glad to know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully 6 weeks from their due date they will get better, gives us HOPE!! :hug: