babies after twins..

I just had a question regarding babies after twins. So i figured i might post this here..

Our twins are 11wks old. Me and my husband talked about how we wanted 2 kids, this being beofre we got pregant.. Once we found out it was twins we didn't know whether or not we wanted more. Now that they are here I think that i wouoldnl't mind having another baby. Of course not anytime soon, Maybe in a couple of years. I think that i want to experince a singleton pregnancy, but DH doesn't think that he wants anymore still.. My question, were any of your DH's like this and did they change thier mind once they got out of the newborn baby stage?? We have decieded to re-evaluate our situation again in a few years but i really hope that he will change his mind..

 

I've always felt that within the first 6 months after having any child, twins or not, it's really a bad time to be discussing another child emotionally on either of you. Sleep deprivation and post-partum changes along with breastfeeding, if you throw that into the mix!, can really put both of you on a roller coaster of emotions. You might feel very emotionally strong about having another child in the future, but a few months down the road you might be feeling exhausted and convinced you are done. Your dh might feel for the next year that he can't even think about, but then one day something might switch and he'll be thrilled to have another. I think it's just too soon for either of you to know one way or the other (unless an oops happens!) whether you want another or don't want another.

The whole time I was pregnant with Julianna I was convinced we were going to have a 5th child. I felt sooo strongly about. Then the first 6 weeks after I had her I was just begging dh to just say to me that we 'don't have to do this again.' It wasn't that I thought he'd ever somehow strong arm me into having another, I just wanted to hear some kind of reassurance that he knew what a hard time I was going through and that it was okay if our family would be 'just' 4 kids. Then from around month 3 to month 8 or so I really, really, really wanted another child, but we needed to move. Now she's 16months and our life is in a bit of turmoil with moving, so it's on the back burner again. I think a good idea is to just set a reasonable length of time to at least go without discussing the notion. If your dh is adamanently against it then the next year or so will probably not do anything to change his mind... the first 18 months of twinfancy are really very challenging... as they get older it will get easier and he may be more likely to be open to the idea of more children.

Anyway, my dh has always been very pro-babies...as in he's not like the typical dh you read about here who really doesn't want more kids. My dh would probably let us become a 'duggar' family if he thought it wouldn't drive me insane. But I must say the only time he's flinched at this notion of having more children was within the first year of having the twins. So for the next 10 months or so it's probably NOT a good idea to try to talk about it with your dh!! Just let it go for awhile so he doesn't have to over-think it and cement his philosophical position on it. LOL. Then maybe you'll catch him in a good mood in a year or two from now and you'll go for another!

 

both my DH & i were sure we only wanted 2 children, so when we found out we were expecting twins we were thrilled - 2 for 1! but it seems like we're both in the process of changing our minds and are now thinking about having more (DH says 1 only, i say let's see how we feel ), so it definitely can happen. i agree with PP though - give it time. especially since you don't seem to be in a rush, i wouldn't even bother broaching the topic seriously until your LOs are 12 - 18 months old. then you & your hubby can re-evaluate at that point.

 

I too wanted 2 or so I thought but I kinda felt cheated as I only got to be pregnant once but I am thinking of another baby too and DH said no at first but now our twins are getting bigger he's starting to talk about it too....

 

You are still in the early stages of twins. I'd just sit the thought on a back burner for now.

 

My DH was all set with twins, though I wasn't and he knew that. I've always wanted a bigger family. I'm now pregnant with my 2nd child after twins (so baby #4) and both this one and hte one before were planned. So, yes, he did change his mind.

 

MY dh only ever wanted 2 babies. Then we had the twins, I wanted another when the twins were 3 or 4. IN my perfect world I would send them to preschool a few days a week and stay home with my singleton. DH did not share my enthusiasm.

Ive been breastfeeding, still havent had my period return, and what do you know....Im pregnant! Suprise! DH took it excellent and I sobbed like a baby. I wanted them to be 3 or 4! THey will be 2 when this baby comes. My Dh is taking it great so sometimes even if you 2 dont agree God may have different plans for you and you may be suprised by the outcome (like me!) I think DH was happier about this pregnancy then I was!

 

When mine were that age, we both were thinking that we'd wait till they were at least 5, if ever. Before having the twins, we had wanted lots of kids but the first three months of twindom is a tough stage. I'd just wait a year and then revisit the idea.

 

Give it some time for sure. i know right after i had the twin i thought i was done for sure and as i type this i am pregnant with number 3
Once you are sleeping more it make a huge difference