At the hospital..

Okay i am only allowed 2 adults in the room... DH WILL be there... hehe.. But i was wondering who plans (or who had) other family members in the room? I was thinking about my Mom or my Dad. I really wanted them there when i gave birth to DD (i was 19 and scared!!) But i was far away from home.. I kinda want my dad in the room.. But is that weird? I am not as close with my mom. And i think my mom would just stress me out too much. (Telling me that she did both of her births all natural.. blah blah blah) Should i even let anyone come to the birth?

 

When I had DS my mom and DH were both in the room. Then when I had the girls DH was the only one with me, but that is because it was an emergency c/s, otherwise I would have had my mom in with us again. I say if it would make you more comfortable to have your dad in with you too than have him in. Just make sure he would be comfortable too and not just in there because you want him in there. KWIM?

 

I had noone but DH in the room for the delivery of Kyle and not even him for the delivery of Kayla (it was an emergency c and I was put under so the was removed). It never crossed my mind to have anyone but my husband with me.

 

I am planning on having my husband and my mom there. The only rule is that Mom can't tell me how easy giving birth is since she had me natural!
I told her that she did not have twins, so she cannot tell me how easy birth is

 

I only want my DH with me. Perhaps if I had a very close girlfriend that was super supportive and had already been through it, then her. But since none of my friends live close by, it'll just be DH and me.

 

I wanted DH and my mom but I had a last minute c-sec and they only allowed dh in there. My mom was in my labor room the whole night with us though. Dh and I still talk about how great it was to have her there because it gave him some relief since my labor was lonnnnnng and he had no clue what to do.

 

I definately want my mamma and DH there. My hospital does not care though. So my father will probably come too.

 

If I had gone natural without the emergency c section I would have had DH and my mom.......I thought it would be cool for her to be at the birth of her grandsons since I am the only daughter. However, it ended up DH only because of the emergency situation and apparantly he had to beg the dr. to let him go in.

 

I had a c-section with the girls and will have another with my son so both times it will be me and my DH. Honestly, if I had delivered them vaginally I still would have only wanted my DH with me. My mom, her DH and my FIL were at the hospital waiting to see the girls after they were born though. This time my mom will bring the girls with her the day of my c-section.

 

Just try not to stress out about it and do what YOU really want. We really stressed alot before had, and as it turned out we delivered vaginally, but in the OR in case an emergency c-section was needed. So only dh was allowed in.

 

I didnt read any other responses but if you are comfortable with having your dad with you i say go for it. I personally choose not to have anyone in the room with me but I didnt want to upset anyone by telling them so. So imagine how happy I was when no one buy DH could be with me b/c we had to be in the or just incase they had to do an emergency c section.

 

I had a general anesthetic with DD1 (C-section), so no one was there. While I was in labor only my mom stopped in for a few minutes because she was at the hospital getting my dad discharged from his hip replacement he had a few days before Annie was born.

With DD2&3, my mom was in the OR; she was also an OR nurse. It was a rush C-section (due to the loss of Oliva) and DH wasn't quite there yet. I was staying with my parents at that time so my mom was with me at the appointment.

For DD4 DH came into the OR because I told him he HAD to.

I would not have wanted anyone other than DH to see me in labor, it was not pretty. And absolutely no one else was going to be in the delivery room if I had delivered vaginally. Some things have to remain just between me and DH...and the mountains of medical personnel!

 

If I was going to have a vaginal delivery, it would have been DF and my best friend (I was in the room with her with her daughter but she was seperated from her husband at the time.) However, I had begun to rethink it, mainly because Jay and me and these babies are going to be a family and it would have been important for the two of us to have that experience, just the two of us.

Since it willmost likely be a c-section, it will only be Jay.

Shannon

 

I wanted DH and my mom in there, but I ended up having a c-section and was only allowed one other person. So obviously DH was there. In retrospect, I am glad that it was just the two of us. Bringing your children into this world is one of the most exhilarating, bonding experiences you can ever have. And it only seems natural to me now, to share that with the most important person in my life.

 

I know that where i will be delivering, I will be in the OR, so i am only allowed 1 person to be with me...that will be DH

 

When i had my dd.My dh, my sister, her husband and both my parents were in the room. My dad was mainly my birth partner. He talked me through all the contractions. He had a soothing voice. It was great to have my daddy with me. I've always been "daddys girl". My dh was there, but very nervous. My mom tried comforting me, but i was getting annoyed with her.It was good to have family there.

 

We went vaginal, but had to be in the OR, in case of a c-section, so only my dh was allowed in. My mom and older sister were waiting in my room and I'm very happy they were there for support for my dh when all was said and done. My older sister really wanted to be with us in the room (she can't have kids), we were struggling with the decision, when our dr. told us since it was in the OR only dh could be there. So that saved us from making a hard decision. I agree with pp, it is a moment you want to share with your dh. If this were are second or third birthing experience and if it was in my room and not in the or, I would have let my mom and sister stay. For the first, I think its nice for it to just be dh in the room.

 

Okay, with DD only DH was there while I labor'd but had a crash C-Section. They put me under general so he couldn't be in there. And, with DS he was the only one there, but we had a 10 1/2 inch snowstorm going on. And my DH is a little different, he really has no desire to be there, and this time around I'm not going to make him like I've done it in the past. I've already talked to a doula and my sister wants to be there but I'm not sure what I'm going to do. The only person who I know that I don't want there is my mother, but we're not close and she's going on about how easy childbirth was for her.

Jen

 

It will just be my husband and myself at the birth. To keep down hard feelings, that is the best way for us to do it. Besides, my mom would drive me insane, too.

 

I plan on only having my DH there. I attended the birth of my nephew and had a front row seat. I don't want my mother or even sisters in there because I feel its a private experience that only my DH and I should have. Plus, they would only piss me off!

 

It only took DH and I to make them so....Only DH and I were in the room with the first. And that was how it would have been even if we had not had a c-section. I just did not want an audience and I was worried enough about how things would be with him in there. But I also had a step-mom situation and did not want to deal with be accused of playing favorites!

That being said...I plan on a doula this time around. I am hoping for a VBAC but if not then it will be only DH in the operating room and doula will come in after c-section is done and DH goes with babies. I am hoping that helps me make it through the section better and then she will also be able to help with nursing ASAP etc. If it is a VBAC she will be there. DH worries more than I would have thought and I think it will be good to have another more impartial person in the room.

 

QUOTE(nikki_0724 @ Jul 15 2007, 09:53 PM) [snapback]332090[/snapback]
I didnt read any other responses but if you are comfortable with having your dad with you i say go for it. I personally choose not to have anyone in the room with me but I didnt want to upset anyone by telling them so. So imagine how happy I was when no one buy DH could be with me b/c we had to be in the or just incase they had to do an emergency c section.



Ha! :laughing: Thats exactly how I feel! Everyone seemed to want to be there and I felt so guilty the first time telling them no. Well fortunately for me I had a c-section that took the whole choice out of it. SO the 2nd go round they already knew they couldnt be there and they were there to say hi and visit after all was finished. That way they also were able to bring DD to come visit me too!

 

I wanted DH and my mom. This time, it'll probably be the same. My mom is very calm and soothing and handles stressful situations really well (so does DH). I know that this time, the potential for something to happen is there and I know I'll need them both for support. My mom was great about stepping back and letting DH and me share the moment together, too. I really love her for that.

 

I'm also allowed to have 2 people in the room with me, and without giving it a 2nd thought I want it to be DH and my mom. I'm VERY close to my mom, she is my best friend, and also she is a RN so I definately want her in there to make sure everything goes smoothly. It's actually as important to me that she be in there as much as DH, I need both of them.

 

I also had a c-section and only had DH in there with me, which was kind of a relief because I know both my mom and my mother in law would have liked to have been in there and there would have been hurt feelings.

It's such a crazy time, I say go with whoever you are most comfortable with!!

 

I just had DH. I wanted my mom, too, but she lives long distance and I delivered earlier than planned. Don't worry about propriety, if you want your dad to be there, invite him. It's all about you and what makes you happy and calm

 

That's a real personal decision.

I had dh and my mom and my friend who used to be a midwife with dd.

Dh, my sister, my friend, and another friend who used to be a midwife with ds.

With the twins is was a c-sec so it was just dh. My mom, sister, her dh, and my two kids were waiting in the room next door.

I don't think it's weird to have your dad there.

 

when i delivered DD, i told the nurses that i ONLY wanted DH and my mom in the room. well...when it came time to have her it ended up being my mom, DH, my grandma, my aunt, and my cousin. i was very upset. my aunt even grabbed DD and held her before my mom held her first grandchild. so...needless to say, no one will no anything until AFTER the babies are born!!

 

With DS #1 I had DH and both of my parents in the room while laboring, then sent my parents out for the actual delivery. (My mother drove me NUTS the entire time and it took all of my power not to throw something at her to shut her up, she panicked everytime the heartrate was lost and would start flipping out, making me VERY nervous.) With DS #2, it was just DH, my 4 year old son and I (I had prepped him for birth, watched videos, talked about pain, etc. but he slept through the actual delivery -- not sure I would do that again). I had my 1st c-section with #3 and DH and my best friend were in the room but there were about 20 people waiting outside. When I delivered the twins, only DH was there and only my pastor was in the waiting room. Of them all, the best was #2 -- it was so peaceful and calm, the lights were down low and the baby was born into an almost dream-like environment. #3 would have been 2nd best -- they made my best friend stand in a room adjoining and lean through a window so she couldn't be right next to me like I would have preferred (if I'd have my druthers, my DH would have been standing in that room -- now XDH). You should have whoever YOU want and not feel like you owe it to anyone that they be there. This is YOUR birth!

 

You might be surprised by the reaction you get from your mom... My mom was very pro-natural too... she did all of her kids, including us twins, with no pain meds...and she didn't have short labors either. She was so dead set against epidurals b/c she was convinced that's why my aunt had a 48 hour labor that ended with her needing re-constructive surgery. Anyway, I had her at the birth of my first dd...I went as far as I could with no epi. Then after about 12 hours I just couldn't do it anymore. At 3am I was asking for one. Fast forward an hour or so... my mom saw how much more comfortable I was...then when she saw how my dd still delivered in a reasonable timeframe, she was in awe. She told me after the birth, "I don't know what I was thinking... I was nuts to have done my labors with no pain meds...you know they had these things back then too... I could have had it... I don't know why I didn't." I was cracking up. So her opinion on the whole thing took a 180 degree turn after seeing how much calmer things were, how peaceful I was during the rest of the labor and pushing phases.

Aside from that note...am I planning to have her in again...well, probably not. The main reason I had my mom, and my sister there along with dh, was b/c I truly needed the help for going as natural as I could. They were much more supportive than dh...who kind of just had the lost puppy dog, deer caught in headlights look on his face when I was in pain. But for the next time around, since I am already very comfortable with getting an epidural I don't think I'll need the help. Plus I feel better leaving my other kids with my parents.

My opinion on it... don't mess with mom. Either have your mom there or no one else at all... Mom's feel the strongest right to be there, and she'll be hurt, no matter what she says about it, if you have someone else instead of her. If you have no one else and you only want dh, I'm sure she'll understand. I know people will say you should do whatever you want b/c it's your birth...but my feelings are that a few hours of comfort are not worth years of hurt feelings. Will the comfort your dad could offer outweigh the years of hurt your mom might feel? In my own family, this just wouldn't work. My mom is too sensitive and probably insecure to do this to her.

 

I am going to have my DH and my doula who is also my good friend and was there for the birth of my DS. Also, if my mom can make it in time I would like for her to be there also. My labor with my DS was so long, I called her before we left for the hospital and she was able to book and hop on a flight from OH to VA and make to for the last 3 or 4 hours of my labor!

 

With the twins, my DH was the only one there b/c I had a c-section. However, I would love to have this next baby VBAC, but it would still only be DH and I. I'm not all about having a bunch of family members in there. I wouldn't mind having my mom there, but then I don't wnt to hurt anyone's feelings (MIL), so it would just be DH and I again.

 

Over here you can only have 2 people in the room and they only like it to be your birthing partners x

 

QUOTE(Susanna+3 @ Jul 16 2007, 09:23 PM) [snapback]333724[/snapback]
My opinion on it... don't mess with mom. Either have your mom there or no one else at all... Mom's feel the strongest right to be there, and she'll be hurt, no matter what she says about it, if you have someone else instead of her. If you have no one else and you only want dh, I'm sure she'll understand. I know people will say you should do whatever you want b/c it's your birth...but my feelings are that a few hours of comfort are not worth years of hurt feelings. Will the comfort your dad could offer outweigh the years of hurt your mom might feel? In my own family, this just wouldn't work. My mom is too sensitive and probably insecure to do this to her.


You know, she's right...I'd listen to this one...that's exactly how mom is!