At the end of my rope...

Background: After a terrible start, I overcame significant challenges to BF my singleton until he was 18 months old (weaned when I got pregnant with the twins).

Difficult start with the twins, with supply issues being the main thing. Eventually I weaned them off formula supplementation and by 4 weeks old they were EBF.

Now the twins are 3 months old. They never have been all that happy when they are awake -- one being more difficult than the other. They are gassy, grumpy, hungry, etc. Poor kiddos... and poor me! With a 2-year-old at home as well, it gets really hard.

But in the past 3 days, it's gotten even worse, to the point where I can hardly handle all their crying. Sometimes I absolutely have to set them down and walk away because nothing I do seems to work, and I'm about to lose it. :help: For various reasons, I'm thinking it's a milk supply issue. I had to go to the dentist today, and I left some pumped breastmilk at home for them. Well, they went through that and TONS of the back-up formula (which they almost never get). That was the only time they've actually been quiet and content in the past few days.

I have this sneaking suspicions that my AF is about to return (she showed her ugly head at 4 months PP with my singelton). When I'm nursing, my supply always takes a big dip the week before AF shows. With one baby, I just did the best I could through the week. But with twins and a toddler, I'm just not sure I can survive.

I just don't know what to do, ladies. I would prefer that they stay on BM, naturally. But I don't want them to be hungry, both for their sakes and my own! I am just worried that my supply will dip even farther if I start supplementing... a downward spiral.

Please help. Any thoughts/encouragement/tips....

 

How are their diapers? How has their weight gain been? If they're peeing, pooping, and growing, then they are getting enough, no matter how much baby angst they're venting on you.

As for them being cranky so often... Are they sleeping enough? Could they be overtired? Do you think they might have reflux? As for being really gassy, do you think they might be reacting to something in your diet? On the one hand, I think nursing moms sometimes worry too much about what they eat affecting their milk, but I've also read a number of stories on here of moms who cut out dairy and saw a night-and-day difference in their babies' moods.

If there really is a milk supply issue, are you eating and drinking enough? I know life is more crazy than humanly possible, but are you getting any rest at all? (And if not, can you call in the cavalry?) Have you tried fenugreek? And if there is a true supply issue (not enough wet/poopy diapers and insufficient weight gain despite nursing on demand), it would totally be worth calling a lactation consultant. It could be something as simple as their latch not being quite right, so they can't move the milk efficiently enough. And if that fails, there are medications you can try to boost your supply (reglan and domperidone).

You can do it! :hug:

 

i was going to say/ask everything Holly did. :good:

 

Holly, you said it, sister!

 

Great questions, ladies...

How are their diapers? How has their weight gain been? Overall, diapers and weight gain are fine. The problem is worse in the evenings (my kids are poster children for "the witching hour") and diapers are not as wet then.

Are they sleeping enough? Could they be overtired? Sometimes they are definitely overtired, they fight sleep like it's no one's business.

Do you think they might have reflux? I am fairly certain it's not reflux. We dealt with that with my singelton, and it doesn't seem to be the issue here.

As for being really gassy, do you think they might be reacting to something in your diet? I worry about this -- I have no idea. I *love* my milk and the thought of trying to live without it terrifying. It's hard enough to find time to eat, to have to put in that extra "creative" effort is terrifying!! I did notice a huge problem when I drank caffeinated pop, so I stay away from that.

If there really is a milk supply issue, are you eating and drinking enough? I am eating a ton, maybe not as healthfully as I could... *blush* I also drink as much water as I can. I take the max amount of recommended fenugreek every day.


I am really anxious to see if AF comes in the next two days, that could definitely be it. I think normally I have *just enough* -- but before AF my supply dips. I am not worried that they aren't getting enough to thrive... it's more the fussiness that is driving me crazy. Based on how happy they get on the few times I have supplemented with formula, it seems like if they could just get a couple more ounces a day, they'd be much happier. But like I said, I am afraid to supplement and then start a downward spiral with my supply.

*sigh*

I hate to wish this time away, but I am dying for them to get past this early stage! Please someone tell me it gets easier. It certainly did with my singleton, but twins is a new ball of wax.

 

How often are they nursing during the day and during the witching hours? The good news is that it gets SOOOO much better. My fussy butt cried and fussed at that time of the day every stinking day. I could have killed my DH during this time- he was all excited that he got a night class for school. 8am woulda been so much better than 6pm!

 

If you want to add a bottle, you could try it during the witching hour. If you're consistent about the time of day, you have the best chances of it not hurting your supply. You could commit to doing a lot of nursing during that oh so wonderful time of day, and then give a bottle at the very end. I actually did that, and it worked out fine for us, no supply issues (I just did it because by that time of day I was totally touched out and needed a break).

Also, I know this is the last thing you need to hear right now, but it might be the fenugreek that's making them gassy. :tomato: I know, I know, how catch 22 is that, but some babies have that reaction. If that's so, that's yet another reason to call a LC - if you really need to take something to boost your supply, they can set you up with that.

 

I always have more milk in the am so I pump every morning about an hour after nursing and I give them that in the pm when I feel like they need more milk and I feel like I make less milk at night (nice run in sentence there ha!) anyway, I only pump for 10 mins and usually get about 5 ounces so They get 2.5 oz each extra and it seems to be enough to keep them happy in the evenings. Af always finds me around 4 month pp too! Argh.

 

Thanks for all your replies, ladies!

I do have some great LCs at our hospital who helped me so much during the first month of getting nursing established. I am a little leary about going on medication for supply because I have heard such mixed reviews from moms who have taken it -- such as a huge dip in supply (lower than before) when they go off of the drugs. I'd like to stick to fenugreek and other non-meds as much as possible. The gassy thing does concern me, but now thinking about it, they have been less gassy in the past couple of weeks. Hopefully it's something they are outgrowing.

They nurse ALL THE TIME. During the day, every 1-2 hours. During the witching hour, it seems I can't go 10 minutes without a kid on my boob. I don't mind, except they are clearly not satisfied, so the nursing sessions consist of them flailing and crying at the breast, popping off and giving up, trying to sooth, popping back on, no milk/swallowing, more flailing, more crying, rinse and repeat.

:headbang:

I really want to do what Tracilynn said, pump in the morning and then give the bottle at night. But they nurse so often, it's not really possible (plus trying to care for my 2-year-old). Today I had help in the morning, so I nursed them, then hopped in the shower, then pumped (so it was about 30 minutes after nursing). I got almost 5 oz. Then 20 minutes after I finished pumping, one of the twins wanted to nurse. I fought and fought to put him on the boob to get milk, but he screamed and screamed in hunger. Eventually I gave him 2.5 of the 5 ounces that I just pumped, and he was happy. So much for that!!

I am dedicated to nursing these twins, and I will nurse then until at least 12 months. BUT. I am having tons of formula-feeding fantasies right now.

Hopefully it will get easier before I have a nervous breakdown!!

 

have you tried swaddling before putting them to the boob? that would help with the flailing & might keep them calmer. also, have you tried giving just a couple of sips from a bottle to help calm them, and then trying them back on the breast? an upset baby definitely won't nurse, so when they get to that stage you need to calm them first before you can try them at the breast. another option is to just cuddle them skin to skin when they're fussy, until they're calm & indicating they're ready to nurse on their own.

is the frequent feeding a recent thing? or have they always wanted to nurse that often? if it's a recent thing, i expect they're having a growth spurt & you'll just need to ride it out for a while until your supply catches up to their new demand. :hug:

 

I had a very similar situation to yours where mine were cranky, gassy, fussy for the first 3 months and finally got better about 3 1/2-4 months old. We definitely cluster fed through the witching hour and if they dozed off I would just leave them sandwiched in between me and the arm of the couch for fear of waking them! I tried dietary modification with no success and finally just rode it out. I also worried about supply but by 3 months I was working and they were no happier in the evenings when they had been getting bottles all day. About 3 1/2 months I started quasi-sleep training just for naps because I figured out that a lot of the fussiness was being overtired. Once I got them napping a little longer they were much happier babies.

Another thought is that they are too impatient to wait for let down. It might help to pump just to letdown and then latch them on. As for supplementing, as the ladies said its better to replace a feed rather than give formula at the end of a feed. If you do that you are much less likely to cause supply problems. Until our twins started STTN we always did 1 formula bottle a day. First it was at bedtime to give me a break and make it quicker to get them down, and then once they started sleeping longer and got good at tandem feeding (around 4 months) I nursed at bedtime and did the bottle for a dream feed.

You can do this! You are almost to the point where it should get a lot easier! I never thought I would make it to 6 months and now we are at 13 and going strong!

 

What is the witching hour???

 

it's what we call that time of day, usually late afternoon/early evening (although all babies are different), when all babies seem to be fussy, no matter what. ardon:

 

Thank you ladies, AWESOME information and support.


After reading your responses and really paying attention to our schedule (or lack thereof), I think it's probably a sleep problem that is causing a lot of the fussiness. One of my twins is much less fussy, and he's also the one who naps better during the day. My fussy twin is also my poor napper. It's so frustrating -- he will fall asleep in someone's arms (or nursing) but when we set him down anywhere, he wakes up almost immediately. My singleton was the same way, so I wore him for a long time until we did sleep training (a la "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child") around 7 months old.

I think I need to start a new thread...

 

I just wanted to say that one of mine is very fussy too. She seems to be getting worse and only seems to be happy when being held. She might be happy for maybe 5 mins after a feed on her own then its back to whinging! :headbang:
The other is far more content and I feel so bad sometimes that she doens'talways get attention.

They aren't great nappers either but also fight sleep.

HOw have others handled 'the fussy one'?