At my wits end with potty training!

Hi Mommies,

As usual there's nothing more valuable than the input I get from you which helped me a lot in the past and now with my current issue I turn to you for any guidance or help.

One of my boys is 100% potty trained now except at night.

My other son pees in the potty all day long even when we go out, with me reminding him whether he wants to pee, he keeps himself clean. However, the issue is with the poo. If we don't go out, he might stay 2 days without pooing just in order not to do it in the potty. And every single time I dress him up to go, he does it in his clothes! I don't want to put him the diaper anymore especially that they'll be starting school by next September and they should be fully trained by then.

Anyhow, I have really tried everything and it doesn't seem to help at all as he just did it now.

I am really at my wits end and don't know what I should do. I heard before that kids are fully potty trained once we take their diaper for good and keep them in the house until they are 100% potty trained. well, this doesn't seem to work with him at all.

Did any of your children showed resistance to poo in the potty (no issue for the pee at all) and what did you do to resolve that issue.

Many thanks in advance for your valuable input.

Tina

 

That was my one DS. He was not pee trained until 3 years 8 months and it took another 2 months or so before he would poop in the toilet.


For him though, it was VERY obvious when he was going (he would cry,scream and flap his hands) so I would stop what I was doing, pick him up and bring him into the bathroom and sit him on the toilet. Most of the time I made it there in time. If I did not, I would take it out of his underwear, put it in the toilet and explain to him that's where poop goes.

I always had issues with him and constipation so this had made it much worse for him. I ended up using Miralax on a daily basis and it made him go every day.

You could try using that for a little bit so he'll be forced to go every day.

 

Well, he's 3. It's not the end of the world. I mean, mine are over 4 now and DS still is nowhere near PTed..

 

Well, it depends... here in my country kids start school at 3 years old and they should be fully potty trained by that age. that's why parents often start potty training at 9 months-1 year old and most kids are fully potty trained between 2 and 3 years old.

 

Thanks. But at least you could tell when he wants to do it My DS does it deliberately in his pants even if the potty is few steps away from him. I don't understand why he has no issue whatsoever peeing in the potty but can't pooing there :gah: But then I recall that I was a kid too and often had accidents when I was away from home even when I was like 5 years old or so. So I guess, he's just a child now and things take time. Even though I am imprisoned most of the days at home with him (my DH takes my other son out) hoping that he'll become fully potty trained. For the constipation, I tried giving his peach jam and at first it went fine until he asks to eat the Nutella instead of the jam. Maybe I should check with local pharmacy about Miralax or similar natural laxative, with no side effect. Even though I'd rather make him eat some high fiber food with natural laxative effect. Either case, I think it's better than being constipated for like 3 days at times, which is very harmful for his health. Thanks again for your advice.

 

I bet some are not 100% potty trained, but a couple accidents at school and they'll learn fast, lol.

But yeah, my 4yo still poops in his underwear every single time, so I'm clueless. All I can think of is that it takes longer for some kids.

 

my son pee trained at just over 3 - it took a few days and he had pee down really well - he crapped his pants for an entire summer afterward!!! The only thing that finally stopped it was making him throw away his favorite pair of underwear (they had Pixar's CARS on them), and threatening to take away his computer time - I know potty training shouldn't be punitive, but when you can poop on the potty in certain places, but still sh!t your pants in others, we'd had enough....I think both actions on our part (me and my DH) made him re-think his stance, and he's pooped in the potty ever since (just turned 6)

 

When it was obvious that it was no longer a developmental issue but a control one, I started making mine clean up the messes. Obviously they can't do it entirely, but they needed to turn their underwear out and out the poop in the potty and then wash them out with some good soap (then id make sure they were cleaned up after). And sometimes they also got a lukewarm shower if they were especially messy and their bottom wasn't easily cleaned up with toilet paper. Making it less than pleasant seemed to encourage them better than other types of punishment. I worked very hard to always be calm and matter of fact, and just let them know that they were old enough and knew how to do it right so now they needed to clean up the mess.

When it was obvious that it was no longer a developmental issue but a control one, I started making mine clean up the messes. Obviously they can't do it entirely, but they needed to turn their underwear out and out the poop in the potty and then wash them out with some good soap (then id make sure they were cleaned up after). And sometimes they also got a lukewarm shower if they were especially messy and their bottom wasn't easily cleaned up with toilet paper. Making it less than pleasant seemed to encourage them better than other types of punishment. I worked very hard to always be calm and matter of fact, and just let them know that they were old enough and knew how to do it right so now they needed to clean up the mess.

 

I took a very different approach to pooping in the potty with my Sarah. It took my Sarah 6 months to build up enough courage to go poop in the potty. She was the first to be pee trained, and did a great job, but she was so scared of pooping in the potty that she flat out refused. There was no making that child. I tried everything, stickers, M&M's, rewards, treats, you name it. Finally, instead of fighting, I backed off and just left her alone. She would ask for a pull-up, and that is what she got. After about six months, and some encouragement from Allison, she finally built up enough courage to go. Once she went, she never looked back. There was no forcing her..it wasn't happening, and I wasn't about to drive myself crazy trying to make her do something she was scared to do. She would go insane (like scared to death) if we tried to force her. I did not want to ruin the great pee success she was having, so I just backed off. However, I didn't have a daycare issue with potty training. They totally worked with me and her the whole time and never complained that she wouldn't poop in the potty, so there was no outside stress that she had to be completely trained. We also never had accidents...she never had a pee accident, and as long as I had a pull-up with me, we had no poo accidents. It was very frustrating, but it was what it was and that is how we handled it for her.

 

I think Rachel has the right approach to it, to step back from it and not to push it too hard right now. They are only 3, which is right in the prime time for potty training, but far from being at the end of the age range. There's many reason's he may not want to poop in the potty. Some kids are scared of going in the potty. They are scared of it getting flushed, and in turn think they might get flushed too. He could be confusing the poop with something that belongs to him. Feeling like you are tossing a toy down the potty. It doesn't sound like it's a control issue it sounds like it's a fear that needs to be worked through.

What we've done with the kids, since they were old enough to kinda of have a semi discussion with, is talk to them about going to the potty. About how every one pees and poops. And that stuff is just what's leftover from our food that our body doesn't need. Our tummy takes out all the good vitamins and nutrients that we need to grow, and the stuff that's left (pee and poop), are the yucky stuff we don't need. So our body gets rid of it. But it doesn't hurt, and we don't need it. So we go in the potty, and flush it away. The twins will even say "Bye poopy" still sometimes! :lol: It sounds stupid, but it reassures them that everyone does it, that it won't hurt, and most importantly, that it's not something we NEED to have.

When he pees on the potty does he sit down or stand up? If he's standing up, it could be that he's scared of actually sitting on the potty too.

Rest assured he will get it in time. It's frustrating as heck now. But I can assure you, I have a 10 yr old and a 5.5 yr old, and their potty training was far from a piece of cake, but it really doesn't cause me to lose sleep anymore :lol: Now....potty training my littlest man...yeah...he's being a stubborn little boy about it right now, but I know he'll get it sooner or later

 

Thanks... now I noticed that my DS tells me that he wants to go to bed whenever he wants to poop because he knows that I put him a diaper throughout the night. So I guess that's a sign that he wants to poop and he's forcing himself not to do it. But during daytime, I stopped using diapers or pull-ups for good, as I was hoping that it would speed up the learning process. Even though this means adding the cumbersome chore of cleaning up dirty clothes. now after I read your comments, I think I have to accept this reality and give him some time to get used to it without using my nerves. :thanks: all for sharing your input. God bless you and your families.

 

Thanks for your message...loved this vitamins and nutrients discussion and will surely start applying it.

He pees sitting at home and standing up when we're out. So I don't think this has to do with him being scared sitting on the potty.

 

One more thing I did was to make up a cheer whey they were on the potty trying to poop:

Push it out, push it out,waaaay out
Push it out, push it out,waaaay out
Gooooooo Poop!


Even now at times I will go in there and hear one of them on the potty saying it. Or what's even more funny, the other one cheering on his brother :rotflmbo:

 

Nice advice! :lol: will surely apply it starting tomorrow. Thanks!

 

This is exactly what we did with my DD-let her tell us when she was ready to poop on the potty.

 

Oh I am so glad I'm not the only one that used the "push it out, push it out, waaaaaaaaaaaay out!" cheer. :laughing:

 

We waited it out as well. I love the cheer idea!