At my wits end--tantrum in progress and going on 45 min!

WTH AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?!?!

This has been an ongoing issue with DD for a few weeks, and ignoring them usually makes it get worse and worse...so far I have only made it 45 min. before I gave in and went to try to calm her down.

I swear getting into these 2's is just going HORRIBLY!!! Even DS is whining and clinging to me and I AM LOSING IT!!!!

 

Do they respond to time out? When DD gets into her tantrums nothing calms her down, not even me. I have found that putting her in time out kind of snaps her out of it. I have no magic solution as we are a work in progress with tantrums around here.

 

Honestly, just put her in her crib and let her scream till she's done. My 4 year olds still throw the most horrific tantrums, and I just put them in their rooms and let them scream it out. They can come out when they're ready to act like humans again.

 

Crib sounds like a good idea. I would have to leave them and close the door and just let em' rip! It's hard!

 

We're not in the tantrum stage yet, so I don't have any personal advice, but I'm just curious -- you say that ignoring it makes it worse, so what happens if you don't ignore it? Ignoring it may be the common wisdom and what works for many people, but it may not be what works for your DD. Or maybe it will work when she's a bit older but not now. If she does seem to calm down when you actively try to calm her down, maybe if you try that consistently for a week or two, you'll be able to tell whether the tantrums are getting better overall. It sounds like it might be worth a shot. GL!

 

my girls really only cry if they are hurting. tantrums havent been an isseu with them yet, sometime they will get a little cranky at eachother if one has a toy the toher wants or somthing silly like that, sorry i wasnt any help.

my niece is 19 months, from the age of about 14 months she has had 'the naughty chair' it worked wonders! it took about 2 hour to get her to stay on the chair, she even fell asleep on the chair, but ever since then she stop her tantrus asoon as we threaten her with it. my sister is very strik with her though, she has about 20 words now, and she talks back when yelled at, she's not allowed to do that around her mummy or its off to the nauty chair.

i dont think my girls are in any state to know what a naughty chair is yet....thankgoodness.

 

I had this problem with logan yesterday. He screamed and whined from 2pm to 4:30 pretty much straight through. I had to put him in the crib for time out three times because he got so bad. He wouldn't let me comfort him but then he would get mad if I wasn't holding him. It was a nightmare. I don't have any advice except for maybe the crib to let them calm down. Techinically mine didn't really stop altogether but he was sure happier when I got him back out of the crib. At least for about 5 minutes anyway.

Keri

 

Eat infection? Strep throat? Mine seem to get into terrible tantrums and very irritable when those are around. Maybe there is something going on?

 

One name LAUREN. OMG she used to toss the most insane tantrums I;ve ever seen. Still does on occassion(but not as bad).
Biggest one was over 2 hours. Talk about headache. I snapped and carried her freaking body upstairs and placed her on her bed and said stay her still you calm now. I shut the door and left. Me and Kristina stayed in ym room(next door). Took Lauren 30 mins. I asked her if she was ok...she was mad at me.
I found a closer spot. I make her sit on my laundry room room now if she gets mad...door open. Just cut her off from the fun and attention.

Tantrums are the single worst thing a child can do to drive a parent insane. They make no sense and are hard to fix.

 

Nathan gets put in his room when he goes into full temper tantrum mode.

 

If I had something like that going on I would never allow them to just cry. I know it is hard. For me when they start whining they have to go to their room and do it there. I tell them to come out when they are ready they usually dont spend alot of time in there after that. If they do I will go in there periodically and try to talk to them. Perhaps offer a toy, book or puzzle, snack or cup of water or a hug. If all this didnt work I will set up a fun activity with the other kids and open the door wide where they can see. Then have a great time loudly and ask them to join at times I have just gone and got them and sat them at the activity. They will usually start participating if not I take them back to their room.

 

quote:
Originally posted by Jill R.:
Honestly, just put her in her crib and let her scream till she's done. My 4 year olds still throw the most horrific tantrums, and I just put them in their rooms and let them scream it out. They can come out when they're ready to act like humans again.


I agree. My dd did this when she was in a bed so I often sat in the hallway for an hour holding the door shut or she would just walk out. She used to hit and bite me so for my protection I would tell her to sit on her bed. It was a really hard stage that lasted way too long. When she no longer had me to attack, the tantrums became shorter and shorter and eventually stopped altogether. She is such an incredible, easy girl now it's hard to believe they are the same child.

Good luck!!

 

This was the advice that I got during a recent discipline talk...

Hold/hug the child high around the shoulder area (Child facing away from you) and sit down on the floor with the child in your lap. By holding them this way you are less likely to get hit or kicked. Begin talking very softly in their ear...I know you're upset, etc. Keep it up, the softer you speak the quicker the child is likely to calm down.

I tried this with Aidan a few times and darned if it didn't work!

Hang in there!

 

I'm sure your tantrum is over for today but will probably have another tomorrow. I agree with PP that ignoring it only made it worse in my case. It was/is best to address the situation right away. Either by restraining as PP described, or by putting in timeout. The time out solution only worked for me when I explained at the very beginning of the day what the consequences would be for tantrums. I also explained what needed to happen instead of a tantrum. For us, roleplaying works well. "When this happens and you feel mad, do not throw yourself in the floor and kick and scream. You should respond this way..." the appropriate response kind of depends on the exact circumstances... but you get the idea.

Another thing to help avoid tantrums: have them fold their hands. This helps to channel the energy long enough for you to distract them w/ something else, like coloring, etc. Folding hands helps them learn self control...