at-home day care questions

we are beginning to look into day care for our LO's.

my mother offered to watch them but i think that 2 will be tough on her.
i am torn. they can stay home, i wouldn't have to worry about packing them up and bringing them anywhere with me super early in the morning and they would have all their stuff here. however, i am not sure if my mother can handle the two all day. she 'claims' she can but of course she's not going to say they would be too much. i assume i would have to throw some money her way but im not sure. my mother in law also offered to watch them and of course i would have to pay her but my mother wouldnt accept money from us. again, i don't know if my mother in law can handle the two. as it is, when she does watch them for us they don't nap!

or i can send them to an at-home daycare. for those of you who use at home daycares, how many people do they watch a day? are there questions i should ask before thinking about sending my children there? the woman who does the daycare is a friend of a friend and we are friendly (LOL). however, i still do not know costs, or how her 'daycare' works.

i thought before i gave her a call, i would ask you ladies what you thought.

 

I have an at home daycare. I live on a base so I have a lot more rules than ususal home daycares. I am allowed to watch 6 children (2 under 2 the rest any age). State (illinois) certified is allowed to have 3 under 3 and up to 7 at one time. This varies by state so you would have to look into your states laws.

Is she state certified? Ask for her policies and contract. Read over that. And see if you like the way she says she does stuff. Make sure it's ok that you just "show up" without calling first (if she asks you not to during naptime that's normal. But anyone who says that you HAVE to call before coming outside your regular times you do not want watching your children. Make sure it is structured and they have a schedule. Anybody who doesn't at least have a schedule they try to do stuff by is going to have a chaotic day care. Children need structure. Ask about activities and field trips. If she tells you before leaving with your children (this is just a personal one. I like to know where my kids are so I never take my daycare out without the parents knowledge). How much tv they watch. What kind of tv. (I only do noggin type shows i.e. Dora, Diego, Blues Clues, Baby Einstein and occasionaly a G rated Disney movies). What happens if she is sick? How sick do your kids have to be to not be able to come? Shots required? Make sure you tell her who is authorized to pick up your kids and that no one other than that is allowed to unless prior permission is given. If she gives meds or diaper rash stuff. What the plans are for emergencies. Disipline and what age she will start doing this at. How much she charges, when it's due, and the penilties if you are late. If you have to pay if they don't come. Do you have to pay if she takes time off or if you take a week off. Do you have to provide food and what type of food does she serve. I just kind of went through my policies and listed some of the main points. Be sure to speak your mind of your beliefs and what you want done with your child. But be considerate that even though you may want them fed every 3 hours on the dot this might not always happen since she has other children to take care of as well.

The benefits of your mother or your MIL watching them would be they don't have to leave home, they get to spend time with grandparents, you can come and go as you please (at least I would hope so), you wouldn't have as high of cost, may still watch them even when sick and eat the food you buy.

The cons, they aren't going to go by what you say as much as what they what/feel is best, they may not keep them on as good of a schedule as you want, as with any family member watching your kids if you have a disagreement or falling out you may be out of a sitter (this happened with my sister and me).

Hope this helps you in your discion making. Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with.

 

How old is your mother? My mom is 57 and she is able to watch our boys 40 hours a week no problem. Now granted, since they are 18+ lbs and growing she does groan a little bit now when she has to pick them up and/or hoist them up on the changing table, but she LOVES watching them, even though she says it is the HARDEST job she EVER had. She is actually very disappointed that we are going to continue with our plans to put them in daycare this May or June when they are 1 year old. Also, your mom may say she won't accept money...but I guarantee after she works her butt off day after day and is exhausted when she leaves every evening that she WILL take some money. Originally my mom tried to say she wouldn't take any money but I INSISTED. So she agreed but said she only wanted $600. Well she has to drive 40 minutes to our house ONE way each day and she has expenses like everybody else (though my dad luckily covers most of them), but still only a month or two after she started we increased her pay to $800. Lord I felt sorry for her working so hard! LOL And a few months back we gave her another "raise" and pay her $900 a month. I figure that is only fair since that is what we will be paying the daycare when they start there this summer.

Anyway, don't underestimate your mom's ability to watch them. Does she ever babysit them by herself for several hours at a time? i believe you said before she watches them while you go the gym or somewhere, but does she watch them for longer than an hour or so? If not I would try that out first, but if she is able to watch them 3 or 4 hours at a time w/ no issues, then she can probably handle babysitting them every day.

 

I know daycare decisions are tough. My singleton was in a home daycare for 2 years. She is now 3. It took us going through two people to find the right fit. For me, I loved the smaller environment and the comforts of a home, especially since my daughter started at 14 weeks.
One thought that came to my mind was could you use the home daycare part-time and utilize your mother or mother-in-law the other days. Our daughter was in home daycare 3 days/week and I was home the other two. It's just a thought/option.

For me, when we were in search of a home daycare, I could just tell by visiting with the provider whether or not it was going to work. I went with my intuition although we did have to leave 2 providers after starting.

 

thank you everyone. your responses are awesome!!
i never leave my kids with anyone, lol. they have rarely ever been with a sitter. :blush: i've left them one or two times with bother my mother in law and my mother. my father is actually great with them and gets them to nap, lol. but he works full time.

 

GO WITH YOUR MOM!!!

My mom watched my DD#1 for the first 6 months I was back at work. (I know it was only 1 but I think same thing applies for the twins) When I told her I was worried that chasing around a little one might be too much She had the best retort- I get to go home at night. It is such a difference watching kids when you get to go home, sleep all night etc. Your mom could totally do it.

I loved that my daughter got to stay in her jammies and not get rushed out the door. The funny thing that I found was that my mom did things just like I would have. Which makes sense since she raised me. Everything from how she would comfort, the songs she'd sing even how she'd cut the sandwiches. I honestly feel that if it couldn't be me that my mom was the next best thing.

Added bonus she'd make us supper, do my laundry and even run some errands. LOVED IT!! I used to leave an envelope of cash if she needed to buy anything. And I would make her take money. Of course she wouldn't take what I'd pay for child care but I eventually wore her down

Personally I would rather pay someone than have my Mother in law look after them. She just doesn't do things the same as me and plain and simple she is not my mom.

I'm back to work in 2 mnths and I'll be taking all three to home daycare. She's not my mom but she's very good. I wouldn't dream of leaving my mom with all three. But then again......

 

I would try leaving them with your mom for awhile and see how she does. I also do not know how old your mom is. My mother-in-law does my daycare (in home) and she is mid to late 50s. I have a 3 year old and my twins are 10 months old. She has been doing this since the boys were 10 weeks old. It is great not to pack them up every morning and they get all the comforts of home. The down side is she does not always do things my way. That is just the risk you take with family. The up side is she does help with things like laundry and dishes.

I think a trial run of maybe half a day would be the best idea. My Grandma offered to watch them for me for a day once. It worked out that my mother-in-law was home. My Grandma then told me there was no way she could have done it herself. She forgets that she is 80.

I did in home daycare for my daughter and I loved it. I went over there while she had other kids and watched how she interacted with them. How she disciplined and things like that. She only took 4 kids at a time because she wanted to give them as much attention as possible.

 

My mom works part time and my mother in law is retired. My mother in law unfortunately would be the one watching them more frequently.
I love her dearly but when she is around my kids for some reason annoys the heck out of me. I dont know why.

 

I sort of do an at home daycare at my house. I only keep 1 baby, and I keep him between 1 to 3 days a week. Some things you'd need to ask about if you go with the at home daycare is who all will be watching your twins. I cleared it with the baby's parents for my DH to watch him too. That way if I need to run to the store or something and my DH is here I can go. I'd also see what the policy for cancellation and sick days are. Sick days as in when your twins are sick. I'd guess that the big benefit to having your twins at an at-home daycare as opposed to a regular daycare is a smaller care giver to child ratio. I have no interest in keeping more than 1 child at a time, so here it's a 3-to-1 ratio. But I know that's not an issue with your mother! Also, I take care of him like one of my own. I charge as much as my friends pay for full time daycare though.