At a total loss with potty training

Sarah was so easy to potty train I don't think it counts. Both of mine know the logistics of what to do with the potty. When I put Sarah in panties, literally the first day she just would tell me and I would take and she would go. It wasn't any work at all with her.

Fast forward to Timothy. He REALLY wants to use the potty. He is asking me for underwear. This is something he wants. He won't tell me at all that he needs to go. He'll wet his pants and just go into total absolute meltdown w/crying and hysterics. I am trying putting him on the potty every 30-45 mins. He's quite content to sit there and read stories and sing a couple of songs with me, but he doesn't go. And then 5 mins later, he has an accident and starts the hysterical crying.

I'm making a point not to loose my temper or raise my voice at all. I'm just trying to be the biggest cheerleader possible. But I feel absolutely clueless at this. He really wants to be potty-trained, but somethings just not clicking.

Marisa

 

Sarah was so easy to potty train I don't think it counts. Both of mine know the logistics of what to do with the potty. When I put Sarah in panties, literally the first day she just would tell me and I would take and she would go. It wasn't any work at all with her.

Fast forward to Timothy. He REALLY wants to use the potty. He is asking me for underwear. This is something he wants. He won't tell me at all that he needs to go. He'll wet his pants and just go into total absolute meltdown w/crying and hysterics. I am trying putting him on the potty every 30-45 mins. He's quite content to sit there and read stories and sing a couple of songs with me, but he doesn't go. And then 5 mins later, he has an accident and starts the hysterical crying.

I'm making a point not to loose my temper or raise my voice at all. I'm just trying to be the biggest cheerleader possible. But I feel absolutely clueless at this. He really wants to be potty-trained, but somethings just not clicking.

Marisa

 

Has your DH taken him and gone potty with him? My DH was deployed while I was trying to potty train. I paid a friend's son who was a year old than my DS a quarter to take him to go potty together. He went from that day on. Other than that, it sounds like you are doing everything that I would do. I did buy potty books and videos that helped too. Good luck!

 

A chart worked with us-something about that reward and it not being me who was proud of them. The chart had Dora, Boots and Swiper so I told them they were proud of them and would give them a sticker.
I also set a timer and when it went off it was potty time-no questions asked. It sounds like he just needs more practice and a lot of success. So I would move the timer to 20 minutes and really watch after meals and snack. I think the more he is successful and practices that enough, you will be on your way.
My girls still have accidents and they never want to tell me when they have to go, so who knows. I am sure one day they will!

 

We've done the chart. They would get stickers for sitting on the potty and extra stickers if they went. Hasn't worked for him.

He has potty books. He can tell you what to do. He just won't actually go on the toilet.

I've been watching him and the clock. I've also been putting him on the potty everytime Sarah goes. She tells me and they eat on the same scheduele. Maybe she was just so easy I'm expecting too much out of him.

I've been strongly suggesting to dh that he needs to take Timothy, but he tends to get the "deer-in-the-headlights" look and seems shocked that I would make such a suggestion. He's taken Timothy a few times, but he lets Timothy sit on the potty with his pants and diaper on.

Timothy asked for his diapers back. We made it to 4:30 and he had had no success. I would literally have him on the potty (quite happily) for 10 mins at a time and then he would get up and wet his pants. I'm frustrated and I think he is too. So we'll give it a rest for now. Joe has the week between xmas and New Years off and I think I really want him to help.

Marissa

 

If he is so eager to try I wouldn't bother with a rewards system... it'll just frustrate him more. With my dd she had to have accidents to figure out how all those muscles work. I had to explain to her that she would feel some pressure in her belly...she would say her belly hurt and then she would know that she had to go... and I would use tricks like warm water on her feet or running the water to help her figure out how to let that muscle go. I would really just encourage him that accidents aren't a big deal and that they will help him to learn how to do it. Once you get the mental connection between running water and peeing it'll work really quickly for them...

 

It's so frustrating, isn't it? Our girls are just slightly older than yours, and Mari was/is just not getting it. She'd be sitting at the table and say, "What is running down my leg?" ::facepalm::

We just put them in panties, period. She wasn't getting the hang of what her body was doing when she was in any kind of protector item (diaper, pull-ups, protector pants, what have you). So we just let things flow. It took her a couple of days to figure out that, yes, it is pee running down her leg. It took her a day from there to learn how to hold it. It took another week for her to learn how to "let it go" without waiting until she burst, if that makes sense. Today was our first accident-free day since we started (on Thanksgiving). I think today's breakthrough was because I really made my expectations clear to her: I tell her several times a day that I expect her to use the potty, not her panties. Her reward of choice is mini-marshmallows. If she has an accident, she needs to help clean it up. And here's something I thought I'd never do, but I did it, and it was a major part of the breakthrough: If she tells me that she doesn't have to go and then goes right after, she has a time out--not for the accident, because accidents happen, but because she did not tell the truth. She has not had an accident since her first time-out for this.

It's been frustrating us both to the point of tears, but we've been using this as an opportunity to talk about how good it feels to master something that doesn't come easily. And it's a good lesson for her. Both she and her sister are ahead of the game cognitively, but they're so used to things coming quickly to them that they tend to give up at the first little mistake. But helping her through this has in a way brought us closer together, improved our communication, and I really see how much she appreciates her accomplishments. Every time she hits her mark, she just lights up and says, "I did it! I really did it! Call me 'big girl,' Mommy!"

 

My girls trained 6mo. apart. DD1 trained herself at 2.5 and had relatively few accidents. DD2 didn't train until a little after 3. Since DD1 had trained I kept trying to encourage DD2 during those 6mo. NOTHING WORKED, I MEAN NOTHING. My girls both wore cloth diapers and we went the underwear route (no pull-ups, etc.). DD2 would just let the pee run down her legs, she peed on my couch, on the beds, on the couch at the library (twice)!!!!!!!!! Either she didn't care or she wasn't physically ready, I'll never know for sure. She would sit on the potty, but would never go and then have accidents. I put her back in diapers and waited until she did it herself, which was a little after 3. I would just wait for him. No pressure. If he initiates sitting on the potty, great, if not, great. Act like you couldn't give a care in the world which route he takes. Maybe he is feeling pressured? I'll never know for sure with DD2, but eventually she decided it was time. Good Luck!

 

it'll click! I swear! Just be patient adn load him up w/ TONS of liquid!
It's a VERY weird sensation for them to get used to, hang in there.
After a few times, his little bottom will get it and it won't feel so weird anymore.
With Berkley, I used to trickle the faucet, I swear it worked sometimes! LOL!

 

quote:
I used to trickle the faucet, I swear it worked sometimes!



I've done that too. I've even let him have a cup of water to sit and splash in while sitting on the potty.

I think for me the frustration point hit yesterday when it had been over 3 hours since he had gone. He'd had 2 full cups of water in the meantime. He sat on the potty for 15 minutes and then got up to get his Thomas houseshoes. 2 mins after going to get his house shoes he had had an accident. I really and truly don't know what else to do.


Since he's starting to wake up dry in the mornings, I'm going to try putting him on the potty every morning first thing. I'm hoping that will be the easiest time for him to go and maybe if he can start going consistently in the mornings it'll help.

Marissa

 

Woohoo! We had a little success. This morning, he woke up dry. So I knew he probably had to go. So I put him on the potty downstairs (our downstairs bath is off the kitchen) and set him up with his apple juice. I got his breakfast together while he watched from his potty chair and he ended up using the potty!!!!! He still wanted his diapers and that's fine for now. Timothy was totally excited and thrilled. We called daddy at work and daddy was excited for him.

So, I think he's just going to need a more gradual approach than Sarah. She did great in 1 day, he hasn't done so well. I'll probably just keep letting him use it in the mornings and once he gets comfortable with that, we'll try underwear again.

I'm so proud of him.

Marissa