At a loss, what to do with Zachary?

Where did my sweet angel go?

He gets so mad at me when I correct him. We have gone over no-no's and what they are. They know they can't do certain things. Well today he just pushed it over the limits. Constantly going to the fridge, opening it over and over, slaming the door, knocking stuff out of it. Then he would climb up onto the counter and turn the sink on and off... he was just being VERY mischevious today! So, I rose my voice with him, pretty loud... to get his attention that he couldn't do these things. He got so mad at me that he began hitting me, and calling my a b*tch... over and over. I tried time out, but he wouldn't stay there, he kept coming over, and hitting me... repeatedly. I just can't believe he acted out like this! Have yours ever done this? What did you do and does it get better?

 

Not to that extent, but Melissa likes to challenge me. I can shut her down pretty fast with the threat of a time out though.

That's horrible that he's calling you a b*tch! How does he know that word?

 

Do you have a lock for your refrigerator Jamie? I would get one. What is he using to climb up on the counter? I would get rid of/hide whatever he's using to boost himself up.

As for the bad language, is he hearing that from someone? I would make sure that word is not used in front of him b/c he is learning it somewhere! I would tell him it's a bad word and explain that he may not use it. If he continues, I would take things away (toys, favorite books, etc.) if time outs don't work. The same thing with the hitting. Don't give up! They are testing their limits and your resolve, so stand firm!

Good luck, I hope it improves soon!

 

Jamie, I agree that he is testing his limits. Ryan gets very upset over the most random stuff. Our time outs are in the pack-n-play because he just won't stay otherwise.

I agree that you need to figure out where he learned that language and stop it at the source.

 

The entertainment center has a little ledge on the side that sits against the back of the back where the sink is at, and he stands on the ledge, and turns the water on and off. Usually whatever he can find he will scoot up to it and climb up, he has LONG monkey legs.

I haven't been able to find any fridge locks that work on my little fridge, its a single door fridge... the locks I have seen are only for double door fridges... anyone know where I can get one for mine?

I have no where to put him for time out because he climbs out of the PNP/play pens, and won't stay seated in the 'naughty chair'.

Today has been much better, he hasn't gotten violent like yesterday... it could be he just got overtired because he missed his nap, and he didn't know what to do with himself.

He hears DH say bad words all the time. DH has friends over on weekends (sometimes) playing poker whatever and they have loud mouths. I have tried over and over to tell them to shut up I have children, but men don't listen nor do they care. I will be glad when he gets the new room complete, they can play poker in another room in the house, and we won't have to hear them, LOL or put up with them!

 

Hi Jamie
Maybe no poker until the room is finished? I would tell your little one that b@tch is a nasty adult word-he's not an adult and we don't use nasty words. For time out you might have to restrain him. You can sit on the floor and put him in your lap and put yoour legs over his-like siting pretzel style over him. This will not hurt him and he won't be able to hurt your arms. I would have him sit until he is calm and don't say anything to him when he is screaming(if he does that when in time out)that you will talk to him when he has calmed down. Good Luck

 

My gosh that must have been incredibly frustrating. I would let the men know that their language has now affected your children and tell them what he said to you. I agree with pp, clean up the language or no poker until the room is done. You have children and their interests and well being come first. As for not staying in a time out, I saw an episode of The Nanny, and there was a child who just kept coming out of the time out. I personally think that woman is brilliant when it comes to discipline and the one thing I notice about her methods is that consistency is KEY. If he comes out of timeout then you keep putting him back. You might have to do this like 20 times and you do it with very little emotion. If he sees you getting upset it will become a game/challenge for him. Eventually he will get it. You keep telling him that his timeout is over when he stays in his spot for the entire timeout time. He will get tired of not only going back and forth but realizing that it would be better to just get the timeout over with so he can go back to playing. Also, making him apologize to you (or whoever) for the behavior is important and a little hug afterwards.

I'm glad you are having a better day today but I can't stress enough that consistency is the absolute key. If you say to him if you do that again you are going in timeout, you cannot falter from that no matter what. He should eventually get to the point where all you have to say is "Do you want to go into a timeout?" and he will correct his behavior.

 

Is that what i have to look forward to? LOL kidding, i know how frustrating that must be for you -i taught preschool for 3 years at a daycare where we werent aloud to tell the kds no. We had to tell them that we ddint think it was a good idea...and they made their own choice. Anyways, we did timeout and they didnt stay and we used what the pp said and sat with them with our legs crossed. This also helps when the child is hitting and such b/c you can hug them and there goes the hitting persay you are stronger than them. LOL anyways, if you watch the Nanny at all - she suggested to a family one time that was having timout issues to keep putting the kid back in the seat...consistancy is the answer and even though you will get tired and frustrated over it, so will the child and finally they'll sit in the seat. My cousin used a timer that way her son knew how long he had in tme out and he could watch the timer. He knew when it went off he had to wait for mommy to come talk to him about what he did wrong too. Good Luck an di hiope that my suggestions and the others helped....i cant wait for that stage...right now..we tell the boys no and redirect, Landon laughs and keeps doing it and Brenden listens.....

Amanda

 

I have had to physically restrain mine on occasion. I have strapped them into their strollers for time outs when they wouldn't stay in their rooms. I have also threatened to take away toys permanently. Sometimes a favorite toy goes up in a cupboard or has been threatened to be thrown away when the behavior gets way out of hand ( I feel mean doing this but it is only done when I am at my wits end). Most of these methods have worked for me.

As for the language- shut it down now. Timeouts are given here for language that isn't acceptable. DH gets them too...Just kidding- actually, we are pretty good at not swearing around the kids. We practiced before they were born! I would let others in your house know it is not acceptable as well.

Good luck to you! I know this age is difficult!

Lisa

 

Thank you all for the advice. Thankfully he hasn't had another episode like that!

I think restraining him is going to be the key. He is so wild, and doesn't listen!

 

Here's a few different ideas on refrigerator latches:

Kidco Adjustable Locking Strap

On/Off Appliance Lock by Kidco

Refrigerator Safety Guard

OneStepAhead Refrigerator Strap

OneStepAhead Lock Release Fridge Latch

 

I'll tell you what else, Jamie, if timeouts don't work I think he's old enough that you take away a favorite toy for a day or two. Whatever it takes, because disrespecting mommy like that is a major offense!