asked the pedi about the picky eating

I told the pedi today that I have tried everything to get Noah to try new things. He basically said that it's ok to offer something and if he doesn't eat it he doesn't eat...what do you think? I hate to think he's going to be hungry and then he'll be miserable as well (I would be)...he said the research is showing those parents that have kids that are eating a variety of foods are better in terms of weight when they are older. I don't want an obese child and don't want to make him one..although I would be completely confused since his dad and I were picked on for being "skinny" when we were young and to this day are still slim...I'm not sure what to do..I thought maybe this is too young to do that..I don't know if they would understand that.

 

Basically what he is saying is if your son doesn't eat breakfast then he is going to be hungry for lunch and then more likely to eat whatever you put in front of him (so he tries new things and hopefully isn't picky anymore once he learns to try new things). Some kids are more stubborn and won't eat whether they are hungry or not. I would think now would be a good time to start setting good eating habits, but you know your child better on whether or not to not feed him. I think he's old enough to somewhat understand that if you don't eat this or try it then you get nothing until next meal. Mine were all pretty good eaters but have gone through phases and I offer something that I know they will eat and then something new for them to try and hope they will try it, but I never made a completely different meal, just sides were different or a variety of. I also don't want to be making a couple of meals a day because one won't eat this and the other won't eat that. Keep offering him something new but don't force him (I have heard that if force a child to eat you may end up with more problems).

 

At that age, my kids didn't have a lot of variety in their diet, largely due to texture issues. And I think that is fairly common. Every once in awhile, I'd offer something new. If they loved it, great, I'd keep making it. If not, I'd try again in another 4-6 months. You'd be amazed at how their tastes change over time. Also, when you offer something new, offer a bit of something familar along with it as well. That way he won't be starving if he doesn't like the new food.

I never thought my boys would like trying new things, but now it seems that the stranger, the better. I almost think they like the novelty-- and they were NOT brave eaters at the age your child is. One thing that I have found that helps introduce the new food is to let them watch me cook it. Then when it's almost done they get to come and get a taste. They think this is fun, and it helps them have an idea of what they'll be eating so they won't be shocked when they sit down at the table.

 

My DS1 has always been a great eater. One thing he doesn't like are eggs. So, everytime there are eggs we put a little(one bite or two) and he has to eat them. I feel like that is middle ground. Maybe he will never like eggs, but he still has to eat them. I think if I were you I would continue to offer him food, even if he has refused it before. I agree with Becky, if he doesn't eat a lot for breakfast, that probably means he will be really hungry at lunch and will eat. I don't see how he will starve if you continue to offer him food.

Also, is he teething? Maybe he is getting some new teeth and that is why he is being a little picky.

 

At that age, which is where we are right now & I have picky eaters--one VERY picky like yours--I would and do give her a full meal of what I know she will eat, then offer something new or something she refused previously. My situation may be a little different from yours though, my picky one may have texture/gagging issues which we are having checked out this month. If she has no real physical or medical cause for her severe pickiness then at some point I will get more drastic on her, but I think that she is too young for that right now.

 

I generally agree, but also think you'll want to make sure that you are offering something he'll eat at each meal. Even if it's a small piece of bread or cheese, or some applesauce. And then offer a variety of other things.

I never force my kids to eat something they don't want to eat but continue to offer them a variety. They either eat it or they don't. At that age, I was mostly feeding them what I knew they'd eat as I was preparing their food separately (but not the same thing all the time), but now that they are eating what we eat, they either eat it or they don't. Period.

 

Yep, I agree. That is how I did it with my girls. If they didnt eat what was in front of them, then they went hungry. They soon learned that they need to try new things and eat or that tummy growling isnt nice. They eat a variety of things now, their favorite foods are rice, fruit and veggies! I always offer fruit w/lunch and veggies w/dinner. Sometimes they wont eat the dinner part, but finish the veggies. I do offer something they like with a new meal just in case, but I will not make something completely seperate for them from what we are eating for dinner. They eat what we eat.

 

I think your pedi and I wouldn't get along very well. At that age, I fixed them something they had accepted before and put new foods on their plates next to the familiar. I didn't stress or emphasize that something was new or that they needed to try it. Their own curiousity and seeing me eat the unfamiliar food took care of it. As they ate the new foods, I added them to the list of accepted foods. There were many foods they loved from the start and a few they still don't eat every time but we keep offering and they're not at all picky eaters. Now, as they get older and start refusing foods they've accepted before, that's a different kind of being picky and then I would let them wait until a later meal if they didn't want to eat what everyone was having... unless it was dinner and then I would likely give them a PB sandwich or something just so they wouldn't be waking at night from hunger. Yeah, I'm a big 'ol softie.

 

QUOTE(marieber @ Jan 10 2008, 04:27 PM) [snapback]566904[/snapback]
I generally agree, but also think you'll want to make sure that you are offering something he'll eat at each meal. Even if it's a small piece of bread or cheese, or some applesauce. And then offer a variety of other things.

I never force my kids to eat something they don't want to eat but continue to offer them a variety. They either eat it or they don't. At that age, I was mostly feeding them what I knew they'd eat as I was preparing their food separately (but not the same thing all the time), but now that they are eating what we eat, they either eat it or they don't. Period.

ITA with this, it's pretty much how I handle it too. Except, around that age we were more on the "eat what we eat" thing, but with some modifications. Actually, still we modify it some depending on what we are eating. For instance, if our dinner is steak caesar salad, I'll take some steak and cut it up small for them, and give them some leftover side from the fridge, with a couple pieces of lettuce.
My girls can be picky. Mostly they refuse meats and veggies. It really all depends on how it is prepared though, they are starting to accept these things more. I have noticed that the most often refused meal is dinner. They hardly ever flat out refuse breakfast or lunch. I think maybe sometimes they are tired or not all that hungry for it.

 

I somewhat agree. My pedi gave us pretty much the same advice. But I wouldn't try new foods just by themselves......have something with it that they've had before & are ok with. I think new foods should just be an addition, something to try. I try to think of it like I did when they were very first starting solids......that anything new is basically just an experiment.

But I do think that if they're refusing to eat everything on the plate, you shouldn't go & fix something else. Many times, I've noticed that with my 2 that if they're not eating well they're just not very hungry. So we get down from the table & try again later.

 

QUOTE(marieber @ Jan 10 2008, 04:27 PM) [snapback]566904[/snapback]
I generally agree, but also think you'll want to make sure that you are offering something he'll eat at each meal. Even if it's a small piece of bread or cheese, or some applesauce. And then offer a variety of other things.

I never force my kids to eat something they don't want to eat but continue to offer them a variety. They either eat it or they don't. At that age, I was mostly feeding them what I knew they'd eat as I was preparing their food separately (but not the same thing all the time), but now that they are eating what we eat, they either eat it or they don't. Period.

I'm the same as Marie. I personally couldn't let them go without eating anything. I always fix what they like and introduce something new in the midst of their normal routine. Sometimes they'll eat it, sometimes not. If they do, I try again the next day or so until it finally clicks and we can add that to our list of what they will eat (which is a small list).

 

I always give something my picker will eater WILL eat and then other things he might not eat at each meal. He really does eat when he is hungry, so I try not to worry too much.

 

That is what I have done since the boys were around 1. I give a variety of 2-3 things for breakfast, lunch and dinner most days they graze for at least one meal, sometimes they will not eat at all for one meal but they still have their snack between meals and I honestly have never had a problem it's just the way they are some days, it may not be their favorite food, they may not be that hungry whatever but I never offer anything other then what I give...that would just cause a problem later on and they have become very picky recently but I hold to it and believe me they will eat if they are hungry.

 

Yes, I agree with your ped. If he is hungry he will eat. And if he's hungry and he doesn't eat, yes, he will be unhappy, but he will learn that he should eat. Toddlers can really skip a meal without minding too much. If mine don't eat much (or at all) at one meal, I make an effort to serve something at the next meal or snack that I know they like -- that way, I know that if they don't eat, they truly aren't hungry. But I'm willing to have some meals where they just won't try whatever we're having, and therefore they don't eat.

 

Ditto on pp suggestions to always introduce something new ALONG WITH something familiar. I also agree with pp suggestion to eat some of the 'refused/avoided' food yourself without drawing attention to it....making a big deal out of it will only make it stink more.

I would highly recommend getting a copy of Child of Mine, by Ellyn Satter from your local library.

The basic premise of the book is saying that as a parent, it is your responsibility to provide a healthy, balanced variety (you decide when and what). As a child, it is their responsibility to decide if and how much. If you take on their responsibilites it becomes a game/dance and you just won't win. Likewise if you let them take on your responsibilities (meaning don't let them turn you into a short-order cook).

 

I always give them something I know they will eat along with something I'm not sure of. Some days they eat all of it, some days none of it. Since I gave them something I know that they do like, if they don't eat then they don't eat. It's hard at first and my DH has a horribly hard time with it, but honestly, if they are hungry they will eat.