Argument over name....

Ok so here is my story....

My DH's name is Frederick Joseph IV. I have agreed to name my son Frederick Joseph V to keep on a tradition that his family has now had for four generations. So, his birth certificate, SS card, pediatrican records... everything will say Frederick Joseph V... even I will say it when he's in trouble. lol

However, in his family there was "Old Fred" (DH's grandfather), "Big Fred" (DH's dad) and DH is/was "Little Freddie". DH wants our son's nickname to be Freddie. I HATE this name. I told him that even though I love him it's a name that I would just never pick for a child. It reminds me of an old man. Not to mention that we have a last name that can easily get a kid picked on in school. I feel like Freddie will just add to the fire.

He wants the name because he likes the namesake thing. And, because his dad passed away in January. I understand that he wants to continue the tradition for his dad but the name will be Frederick Joseph on the birth certificate. I've never liked the idea of a jr. but I feel like I'm compromising already.

I like the nickname of Eric... AS in fredERICk. It's not my top pick for a boy's name but given my limited options I like this the best. It seems like a stronger name than Fred. The meanings are extremely similar. It will cause less confusion in the house. And, I won't have to say a name that I don't like for this child's entire life.

We already mentioned this to DH's family and I was told that they'd continue to call him Freddie anyway. I'm not so happy about this.

WWYD?

 

You and your DH should call him Eric. Your in-laws might start off calling him Freddie, but as long as you reinforce that his name is Eric at home that is what he will grow up calling himself.

Funny story, my lil bro is "Thomas". My mom didn't like "Tom" so we always called him "Thomas". Fast forward to middle school - his friends started calling asking for "Tom". The first time it happened I told the kid he had the wrong number because I didn't associate "Tom" with my brother. He's 20 now and still called "Tom" by most of his friends, his email and messenger say "Tom", but if anyone in our immediate family calls him "Tom" he suddenly goes deaf and won't answer until we say "Thomas". He says "It's just too weird when you call me 'Tom'." Moral of my story: whatever goes at home will probably stick with him for a long time!

 

I voted for Eric, too.

I don't really have any advice, but we were in a similar position with DS1.
For the last 100 years or so, every first born male in DH's family is named Otho (yes, I'm serious). DH's grandfather is Otho Junior, his father is W. Otho and DH is J. Otho. When we found out we were having a boy, he immediately insisted on it and I said NO WAY. I begged, I offered other suggestions, and I down right refused. My MIL ended up calling me to say it wasn't worth it and to just deal with it (how nice and supportive, right?). And so...our son's name became Andrew Otho.

It's just a name. I'm hoping one day, he'll learn to appreciate and cherish it the same way DH did (he hated it as a kid too). I think Eric is actually a really good compromise, but I wanted to say that it'll be alright if it doesn't work out that way and he ends up going by Freddie. He'll probably change it himself (like the PP said) altogether and go by something else anyway. I'm waiting for Andrew to declare that he's now "Drew" instead.

 

:wavey: Michelle.

Okay, I am not partial to Frederick or any version of Fred. I think you are a goddess :bow2: to agree to name your child a name you do not like for the sake of tradion. Too bad it's not just a middle name like 4lilmonkeys. I like tradition but......

I think since you are willing to continue dh's name like this, you get to choose the nick name. I really like the name Eric.

Now you must convince Dh.
then when you are done with that, it's time for the in-laws.

 

I voted for "other" I would call him Ricky. :blush:

 

QUOTE(Her Royal Jennyness @ Jul 17 2007, 09:59 PM) [snapback]335604[/snapback]
I voted for "other" I would call him Ricky. :blush:


Your the best!!! Ricky is GREAT! It's sort of inbetween Fred and eric!

 

I too think you are a saint to continue the name tradition. I had the "name thing" cause great dissention and mal-content on the hubby's side of the family. I think that since you are using the family name you should get to pick the nickname. Then both you and DH need to show a united front to ALL family members on your choice.

I voted other....I am not partial to any version of the "Freds" What about calling him by his middle name or a version of it?
Good Luck and keep us posted

 

I don't have anything against the name Frederick or Fred but Freddie sits wrong with me. Maybe it's because of Freddie Krueger or some other fictional character. Maybe it's because I never knew a "Freddie" that I got along with personally. Hmm...

I voted for Eric but I like Ricky too. Maybe DH would go for Ricky since it's closer to Freddie?

I think, too, that you're great for doing this. I am begrudgingly conceding much of the naming decision to DH since it seems like I came up with Casey's full name and Mandi's middle name. Both girls' middle names are family names on my side. Only seems fair, I guess. *sigh*

 

Thanks for the votes so far....

Jenny, Ricky is an alternate that my SIL suggested. The reason we don't want to go with that is we have a close neighbor who's name s Rick. DH thinks it would be weird. I'm not crazy about it because it reminds me of Ricky Martin and Ricky Ricardo.

Kitka, His middle name is Joseph. I don't dislike the name but that's even farther away from DH's family tradition KWIM?

Thanks for seeing my view as far as the compromise goes. Fred just doesn't see it that way.

 

I voted other. Want to add another name to the mix. How about Derick?

Otherwise I would pick Eric.

Put your foot down with the il's. When I had my son (Russell) my il's go "Oh great!! We'll call him Rusty"
And it was like h@#! We told them it was either Russ or Russell and Rusty was NEVER brought up again.
But like pp said you and hubby need to present a united front.

 

How about just "Fred"

I like Rick too


amanda

 

I voted Eric...... I know you dont like jr. but what about J.R.?

 

I didnt vote, my comment comes from experience. Thank GOD I wasnt a male in my family. We have a lineage of a horrible dated name too. My point will be short and sweet. If you agreed to the tradition you will succumb to the name given. My Cousin was the namesake and his wife said no way no how. Well, we now have another generation with the name and another "little ____" Its the way families are, its the way tradition is...I would just smile and go along with it. I personally have known some really cute Freddies, and my one of my good friends was a Fred. If your kiddo is a cutie patootie, the name will just reinforce it.

 

QUOTE(Her Royal Jennyness @ Jul 17 2007, 11:59 PM) [snapback]335604[/snapback]
I voted for "other" I would call him Ricky. :blush:


I was thinking this same thing!

 

I voted for other b/c my DH is a III and he uses his middle name, which keeps things from getting confusing - so why not call him Joey as short for Joseph?

 

I voted Eric

I think that you are compromising enough already by naming your son something you don't like. Your DH should recognize this and let you pick the nickname.

I also wanted to add that it could be worse...my friend's DH wanted to name their first Angus after his father who passed. She won and they named the baby David after her father that passed BUT she made the mistake of telling him that he could name their next (if it was a boy) Angus. Now she is preggers again and regretting that she told him that - they don't know the sex of the baby but he is already looking for middle names to go with Angus!

 

I like Eric, but I voted other for Derik too. I think that would be cool since its the last part of Frederick.

 

QUOTE(Hillybean @ Jul 20 2007, 02:08 AM) [snapback]338435[/snapback]
I voted Eric

I think that you are compromising enough already by naming your son something you don't like. Your DH should recognize this and let you pick the nickname.

I also wanted to add that it could be worse...my friend's DH wanted to name their first Angus after his father who passed. She won and they named the baby David after her father that passed BUT she made the mistake of telling him that he could name their next (if it was a boy) Angus. Now she is preggers again and regretting that she told him that - they don't know the sex of the baby but he is already looking for middle names to go with Angus!



I did this to my Dh...... He LOVES the name Gage and before I knew were were having twins I told him his 3rd son should he have one could have this name. I dont like it so while we are thinking of TTC in November he keps reminding of my promise.

 

I would go with Eric. If he really wants Freddie or his family then let him use the name. My brother's name is Andrew and growing up he was called Andrew but in school (high school) he was called Andy because there are other Andrews in his class. Just like the pp when he got a phone call at our house the first time and they asked for Andy they were told wrong number. My mom can't stand Andy but that is the name he got from his friends he is also called that as his work now (his name tag is Andy). Now my sons name is Matteo, he is also called Bubba (he will turn around when I call him that), Teo, Potato (my sister's name for him). My family is know for nicknames some stick and some don't. So if my family most of us have a couple different names that we are called. So I would go with whatever name you want and if he wants to call him something else let him your son will get used to all of the names and when he gets older he can pick out the name he wants.

 

QUOTE
I think that you are compromising enough already by naming your son something you don't like. Your DH should recognize this and let you pick the nickname.


Ditto. You've agreed to the family name, which you admit isn't your first choice. Why is he resisting you choicing the nickname?

 

First of all, I love that you're continuing DH's family tradition. I think it will be very meaningful to your son. I have a nephew who is the "fifth" and he loves it and plans to continue the tradition himself.

I think calling your son Joseph nn Joey is a good way to start your own tradition. You've already followed DH's family tradition but why not be able to use his middle name? Just because the others who have gone before him have used Fred or Freddie doesn't make it necessary to use that for your son. He needs to have something that's "his." Would your DH consider that?

I'm with you, I don't like the name Fred or Freddie. I also don't necessarily like the nn's Eric or Ricky. Seems to me that it would be confusing in school to tell people that your name is Frederick but you go by Eric. Yes, it's in there but it doesn't jump out at me at first. Yet many people (including myself!) go by their middle name so that's not a jump at all. If your son chooses to, he can always use the name "F. Joseph Lastname" in business. I see that quite often in business correspondence. And he is not in any way turning his back on his family tradition by doing that. In fact, it saves Freddie for his own son, which would tickle your DH as a grandpa I bet!

Good luck, and let us know what you decide!

 

Definitely like Eric. Not really digging Freddie.

 

QUOTE(MichelleS @ Jul 17 2007, 08:17 PM) [snapback]335396[/snapback]
However, in his family there was "Old Fred" (DH's grandfather), "Big Fred" (DH's dad) and DH is/was "Little Freddie". DH wants our son's nickname to be Freddie. I HATE this name. I told him that even though I love him it's a name that I would just never pick for a child. It reminds me of an old man. Not to mention that we have a last name that can easily get a kid picked on in school. I feel like Freddie will just add to the fire.


My DH name is Richard, he is the third. Grandpa was called "Dick", his dad was called Big Richard, and my dh Rich. I made it very clear when we met, that if we had children, they would not be named Richard, and he was totally cool with that.

QUOTE(MichelleS @ Jul 17 2007, 08:17 PM) [snapback]335396[/snapback]
We already mentioned this to DH's family and I was told that they'd continue to call him Freddie anyway. I'm not so happy about this.


Fast forward 7 years to the birth of my son Tyler. Everyone on DH family started calling him TJ before he was even born. I considered changing the name I loved at that point because I was getting so annoyed, and DH's Grandma tells me, she will call him TJ no matter what his name. AAAAAAHHHHH, she was nearly on her death bed so I just took it with a grain of salt, but wanted to inform her, that she would call him whatever I named him. So now my son is 4 1/2. Everyone calls him Tyler, except for DH's Mother, her husband, and DH's Grandfather, they all call him TJ. Everytime they say it, it hurts my ears, but I just live with it. When he was about 2, I tried to coax him into telling people his name was Tyler but it didn't work. At this point, he is too old for that, and the blame would get turned to me. I only hope at some point he decides on his own to ask them to call him Tyler.

Anyways, for what it is worth, I like Eric, Derik, Rick, not a huge fan of Freddie, but be prepared for the family to call him Freddie.

 

I vote Eric. Your husband should give a little. You agreed to carry on the name, but should be able to give hime the nickname. Both of my sons are named after family members, but we have different nicknames for them. Good Luck!

 

My brother was, after a long fight all over pregnancy, called Matt.
But once he was born everyone called him "baby boy" (we were 2 girls before him). This continued for a very long time and some time when he was 10 we changed to just "boy".
Well he is an adult now and everyone still calls him Boy (his friends don't, but they don't really call him Matt either... I am not really sure what they call him, he is a rocker now, you see, and Matt just doesn't go well with Rocker-being apparently).
So, no matter what you call him, you can always say something randomly different and it will stick!
Millie (whose boys should have been Tristan and Leon and whose girl would have been Nimue if it was up to her, but her husband didn't want any non-sense names... so here I am with serious little Oliver, Alexander and Isabella)

 

To tell you the truth, I think "Freddie" is adorable. I like "Eric" too.

 

First of all you are better than me, because I could not agree with that. Frederick is my dad's name and they call him Freddie. I think Freddie is cute though especially if he is as cute as your twin girls,(they are beautiful) I am lucky that my boyfriend who is a junior doesn't want to carry the name "Harold" :blink: because that could not have been an option for me. Anyway I think like PP said whatever you call him will somehow stay with him, you are his mother you know? whether dh likes what you call him or not your son will always answer to it and I guarantee that. He will also answer to other nicknames too. My nickname from my grandmother "Neekie" I hate it! But I am 25 and still answer to it. My boyfriend's family have called him Boo since a child and EVERYONE calls him that still,everyone.So as you can see it doesn't matter,call him what you want to Its your son and dh already won when you agreed to name him Frederick. However I ironocally voted for Freddie it's just so cute to me. :blush: Good luck though Keep us posted on the name game.

 

QUOTE(MichelleS @ Jul 17 2007, 09:17 PM) [snapback]335396[/snapback]
Ok so here is my story....

My DH's name is Frederick Joseph IV. I have agreed to name my son Frederick Joseph V to keep on a tradition that his family has now had for four generations. So, his birth certificate, SS card, pediatrican records... everything will say Frederick Joseph V... even I will say it when he's in trouble. lol

However, in his family there was "Old Fred" (DH's grandfather), "Big Fred" (DH's dad) and DH is/was "Little Freddie". DH wants our son's nickname to be Freddie. I HATE this name. I told him that even though I love him it's a name that I would just never pick for a child. It reminds me of an old man. Not to mention that we have a last name that can easily get a kid picked on in school. I feel like Freddie will just add to the fire.

He wants the name because he likes the namesake thing. And, because his dad passed away in January. I understand that he wants to continue the tradition for his dad but the name will be Frederick Joseph on the birth certificate. I've never liked the idea of a jr. but I feel like I'm compromising already.

I like the nickname of Eric... AS in fredERICk. It's not my top pick for a boy's name but given my limited options I like this the best. It seems like a stronger name than Fred. The meanings are extremely similar. It will cause less confusion in the house. And, I won't have to say a name that I don't like for this child's entire life.

We already mentioned this to DH's family and I was told that they'd continue to call him Freddie anyway. I'm not so happy about this.

WWYD?


You could always call him Quint or Quinton since he is the fifth.
I voted Erick, but Derick is also good. You could insist on using the middle name since it seems none of the other Frederick Josephs did.
My dad's name was Thurman Eugene, his dad was Thurman ?. Growing up people called him Gene, but at some point in his life he worked with another Gene, so coworkers started calling him Joe. He used that name until the day he died. He would us T.E. (Joe) Lucas on documents, but signed Thurman E. Lucas. I couldn't tell you how old I was when I found out that his name wasn't Joe.

 

I think you are already being nice enough to give carry on the tradition (something I would never do, I feel kids should have their "own" names, but thats JMO). Actually, I'd probably be spiteful and be sure to name him soemthing completely different, just so you ILs can't call him any incantation of Frederick at all.

If I were to choose, I'd say eric. It's a nice strong name and timeless. Each time your ILs call him Freddie, just remind them that youy prefer Eric. The baby will see you more than anyone else anyway, so he shouldn't be confused.

 

Just wanted to say that when naming my ds2 (baby #4) I had several other middle names that I liked better but decided to go with my maiden name (Ethan CRAIG) as a way of passing on my family name and I don't regret it even though I wouldn't have chosen that name otherwise,kwim?

 

I like the name Freddie, I have a dear friend called that and he's so great, I just have to love the name (his name is actually Alfredo).
But if I were in your position, I'd call him Joseph, Joey is cute on a little boy and he can grow into Joe or even Joseph and not be confused for his dad. I hate calling a house and asking for John and they say "Big John or Little John?" I don't know the one who's 22, little I guess! :FIFblush:
As for what your in-laws will call him, we each have lots of different names, different people call me different things have all my life and that's okay. Nothing wrong with that.
I'm Melissa (co-workers)
Melissa Sue
Missy (most family and old friends)
Missy-Sue (Southern cousins)
Sister Sue (my dad calls me that)
Meli (in-laws)
Ms. Ferrin (strangers)
Teacher (my students)
Professora (staff at my school)
Amorcita (DH)
Mommy (DDs)
I don't see anything wrong with your in-laws choosing what ever they want to call him as long as they say it with love!

 

ugh you are in such a difficult position... my dh is a junior and I flat out refused to do a III.... my MIL totally backed me up....she said it was confusing enough having two Angel's.... plus my ds totally looks like my, pa dutch side and not dh's hispanic side....it would have been bizarre calling him Angel. Dh disagrees with me on this... and just says "He's a S------(our last name), he looks like S----- b/c he is one!"

Personally I think Freddie is a horrible name... I mean there's nothing totally horrible about it...but I associate it with Freddie Kruger...although I've never even seen those movies... or a more recent association is with Little People...Eddie's frog is named Freddie. LoL!! then there is the little house on the prairie episode where Laura finds an annoying goat and names it "Fred" ugh...Then there is Fred from Anne of Green Gables... nothing terribly horrible about his character...just on the dull side... but then again I do know a Fredrick whom we call Fred..a very nice gallant older gentleman...

My vote is for Eric. just such a nice option if you must name your child ....why can't hand-me-down names be nicer... I mean I have nothing against the name "Angel"... but it did take a bit of time to get used to it on my dh...and I perpetually have people call the house who think I'm Angel since they associate it with a girl's name... if my son were being raised in an hispanic community, speaking spanish, etc. I probably wouldn't have as hard of a time with it.... Everytime I hear a hand-me-down name they are usually awful. A friend of mine's oldest DS is named after her DH... Barry.... ugh.... why can't a name for posterity be something like John...or William.... something universally recognized in the English world as a bread and butter name, perhaps not with too much zip or zap, but traditional respectibility....oh well, I guess when you boil it down once your ds is here you might get used to Freddie... you might begin to have good associations with it.... I've girl friend's name their kids what I considered to be really horrible names...but after awhile you get used to them and if the kid is a sweet kid you even start to like the name you previously hated... so sometimes a kid really does make the name.

 

P.S. My family tried calling Emmalene "Emmy" as a nickname... I insisted that it would be "Emma"... Well, "Emmy" lasted for about a year....after that it became "Emma" simply b/c I always used that name...

Avielle's nickname is "Ellie" and I informed everyone that her nickname would NOT be "Avi"... my FIL is the only one who calls her that and it does grate on me... and he has to do it in a very LOUD sing-songy voice "AAAVVVIIIII"

 

QUOTE(Susanna+3 @ Aug 1 2007, 03:53 PM) [snapback]353201[/snapback]
Personally I think Freddie is a horrible name... I mean there's nothing totally horrible about it...but I associate it with Freddie Kruger...although I've never even seen those movies... or a more recent association is with Little People...Eddie's frog is named Freddie. LoL!! then there is the little house on the prairie episode where Laura finds an annoying goat and names it "Fred" ugh...Then there is Fred from Anne of Green Gables... nothing terribly horrible about his character...just on the dull side... but then again I do know a Fredrick whom we call Fred..a very nice gallant older gentleman...


Oh man Susanna this cracked me up. I remember the goat episode but had forgotten about it. And, that's my problem with "Fred" it reminds me of an old man. I love my DH and I think he's a cutie but I just don't like the name.

Well, he has given in (not happy but he agreed to it) to calling him Eric so far. He told me that he was going to tell his family that they can either call him Frederick or Eric but not Freddie. I've already had my stepMIL, SIL and DH's grandmother flat out tell me that they would not call him Eric and that he'll be called Freddie. I feel like I'm part of a cult or something.... "You WILLLLLL call him Freddie!!!!". Ugh. Maybe I'll see my baby and reconsider but I don't like being told that this is what you have to call your son. Shouldn't the mom have some say in it? I'm the one that is raising him not DH's family.... Thanks for letting me vent.

 

QUOTE(MichelleS @ Jul 17 2007, 10:17 PM) [snapback]335396[/snapback]
Ok so here is my story....

My DH's name is Frederick Joseph IV. I have agreed to name my son Frederick Joseph V to keep on a tradition that his family has now had for four generations. So, his birth certificate, SS card, pediatrican records... everything will say Frederick Joseph V... even I will say it when he's in trouble. lol

However, in his family there was "Old Fred" (DH's grandfather), "Big Fred" (DH's dad) and DH is/was "Little Freddie". DH wants our son's nickname to be Freddie. I HATE this name. I told him that even though I love him it's a name that I would just never pick for a child. It reminds me of an old man. Not to mention that we have a last name that can easily get a kid picked on in school. I feel like Freddie will just add to the fire.

He wants the name because he likes the namesake thing. And, because his dad passed away in January. I understand that he wants to continue the tradition for his dad but the name will be Frederick Joseph on the birth certificate. I've never liked the idea of a jr. but I feel like I'm compromising already.

I like the nickname of Eric... AS in fredERICk. It's not my top pick for a boy's name but given my limited options I like this the best. It seems like a stronger name than Fred. The meanings are extremely similar. It will cause less confusion in the house. And, I won't have to say a name that I don't like for this child's entire life.

We already mentioned this to DH's family and I was told that they'd continue to call him Freddie anyway. I'm not so happy about this.

WWYD?


I would be so angry if relatives told me they were going to call my child something I didn't like. My gut reaction would be to say, "Well forget passing the name along to the 4th generation then." Eric is my husband's name so I am rather partial to it, but if that doesn't fly how about...

Frederick Joseph nn Rick
Frederick Joseph nn Derick
Frederick Joseph nn Ed/Eddie

Or... Swap the names around.

Joseph Frederick nn Joe/Joey

Good luck. You are a stronger woman than me for agreeing to pass on the family name. DH's middle name is Arvid so there was no way that was being passed on. :lol: