Are your kids competitive with each other?

I truly do not mind healthy competition, truly I don't.

But my daughter and son have to compete with each other over EVERYTHING. It drives me batty.

Who's lost the most teeth? Who lost their teeth first? When Luke talks about losing his tooth, Sophia is always quick to remind him that he's lost 1 while she's lost 3 and she lost her teeth first.

Who will get their spoons first? Who is going to win the most games at whatever game they are playing? Who is going to water the most plants outside? Who is walking the fastest? Who is taller?

We are going to the dentist this morning and they are arguing over who is going to get to go first.

OH.MY.GOD.

I did not expect boy/girl twins to be this competitive and I hope they tone it down soon because if not, I feel really sorry for their kindergarten teacher.

 

Yes. Yes this. It makes me batty. Honestly, I know there are tons of factors, but this is a huge reason we are splitting for kindergarten.

I'm getting pretty gung ho about disciplining for it. It's usually Jack who wins in our house, so now I tell them that if they start clamoring to be first or get the bigger piece of something, they automatically don't get it.

 

Hehe, I'm sorry, but that's cute to me!

My boys are competitive as well. I'm sure it's only going to get worse and it's already driving me nuts. They haven't lost any teeth, but Kiefer has one tooth that's starting to get loose and he likes to remind Cameron of that. They compare their height and weight all the time. They want to be first at everything including who gets washed and out of the tub faster. Who gets dressed faster, who gets to brush their teeth faster. Of course, I don't mind some of that competition, but it is true that sibling competition can make you consider setting renting space in a near by asylum. It is normal for siblings to challenge each other. I only step in when they start getting too competitive and I see one is getting their feelings hurt by it. No teasing allowed in my house. If they want friendly competition, fine, but the moment it starts to sound like boasting or teasing, it needs to stop. I'm trying to teach them about being good sports, and it's a hard lesson since it's SOO easy to boast about accomplishments or put the other down so the other can get ahead of the game. But, competition is healthy since it's good they learn about accomplishment and putting in effort in order to get to where they want. It's a fine line sometimes, but I remind myself of the good the lesson is doing and keeping an eye on when I may need to step in so they learn to be good sports and I get some sanity in the house.

 

Yes, they do everything you described ALL. THE. TIME! And this ^ is how I was going to respond exactly, except it's already here!

 

You know, my two are not really competitive. They are more cooperative than competitive. As for the tooth losing thing, Alice has lost two, and Royce hasn't lost any and she says to him, "it's okay you haven't lost any teeth, you'll lose them soon." They help each other with homework and when they read, if one doesn't know a word, the other comes over and they work together to figure it out. I know I am very lucky with this, I think I would be crazy with you all if they were competitive.

 

My kids turn everything into a competition. They can be walking down the stairs and the one in the back will say "2nd one down the steps wins" and whoever is in front will start crying because they lost. It is a made up competition and it doesn't matter. It can be so frustrating. We reinforce that not everything is a competition and sometimes you don't win, but it doesn't seem to be sinking in.

 

Mine aren't very competitive either. They are very aware I'll say of what the other one has, and neither wants to be left out. But they don't compete as far as who is walking faster, where they sit, etc.

 

this made me laugh! at least you can say they are creative!

 

Same here.

The lack of competiveness is one reason they are fine in the same classroom.

Now one DD IS competitive with life in general. She does like competitions, being best, first, winning family games, doing well Whe she is competitive, it is a generalized and not focused on beating her sister as something.

My other DD actively avoids competition and dislikes 'races', timed activities, etc. She is just happy if everyone is happy.

Somehow *most* of the time my girls are supportive of each other and console each other (especially on the teeth and/or for being 'small').

 

Yes and no. My two can be competitive, but no more so than their siblings were/are. Luke & Lila are still at a stage where they mostly love each other. If I give Luke a popsicle, he will automatically ask for one for Lila, too. Lila is in a higher reading group at school and, instead of always telling Luke she reads better, she will often say to him that she does't understand why he isn't in the same group as her and maybe he will get moved up soon. But, we do have the "it's not fair she gets to do that & I don't" kind of arguments quite often as well, which drives me batty at times. I do think it helps that they have totally different interests, Luke is obsessed with hockey and lacrosse and Lila dances and plays soccer, so they are often apart & doing their own thing.

 

This is Luke. Super competitive in general, but not focused on being better than Lila.

 

Emilie is, Trevor is not. Emilie is my competitive one. It drove her crazy when Trevor lost the first tooth, all I heard is how she should have lost her tooth first because she is older than him. And it still drives her crazy that he has lost 2 more teeth than she has. :laughing: She is my one who has to do everything better than he does and she will tell us. But like I said, she is just a competitive person, so it's not just with him...it's with everyone. Trevor, really could care less.

 

I have to do the same thing. I'm glad it's not just us. Mine get told one time something along the lines of: it doesn't matter who wins, it doesn't matter who gets there first and if it continues, automatic time out or the thing in dispute gets taken away. I want mine separate for kindergarten but it's still up in the air for the school that they are attending whether there will be 2 kindergartens.

Amy, Sophia is like your daughter-she is competitive with everyone. It's worse with her brother, but yeah, I've seen her on the T-Ball field this past spring steam rolling other kids..and even snatching the ball out of other kids hands. I was wincing and we had to have a talk about being a good sport and recognizing that she cannot be the only one out there fielding. Luke is not as competitive with other kids and I think he only competes with her because she is so competitive with him.

 

Competitiveness is why we split for first grade. They really aren't at home too much but at school it was horrid. I'm really glad we did as Jess is having some reading issues and it hurt her enought to know that jazz was at a higher level.

 

Oh and I have a friend who is half a twinset (went to school with both). They were in honors classes with me and she says from 1st to 9th grade they were do competitive that it really hurt their relationship

 

Timothy could be competitive with a wall. I truly believe that.

I think the difference between the kids is that Timothy wants to win any board game he plays. Sarah wants to win sometimes, but she plays boardgames for the social aspect. I enjoy watching my mom and Timothy play boardgames. Both of them are super-competitive.

Marissa

 

mine aren't competitive with each other, and are actually pretty encouraging towards each other. they do, however, insist everything be "even". "did she get the same amount as me??" that kind of stuff. THAT is annoying!

 

That's Jack and Anna. Jack gets so upset about not winning, and Anna is saying "it's just fun to play!" Of course she has the best luck and wins way more often than he does even though she doesn't care.

 

Becca is very competitive - and if I compliment Jake, so jumps in asking for a compliment as well.

Jake isn't competitive with her at all, but he does tend to give her space on things she is really good at (like drawing/penmanship).

That said, they really are supportive of each other. They don't look for ways to be competitive - only when it comes up in context. And Becca is a very very sore loser in board games etc. We need to help her do better with this.

 

Mine somehow make everything a competition. When they were younger they would use the toilet at the same time, and would compete over who peed longer or farther or whatever. They still treat everything as a competition but I guess I've either gotten used to it or just ignored it, it doesn't really bother me.

And since teeth were used as an example: Nick knocked TWO of his brother's teeth out so Nick pretty much wins any competition about the teeth after that. :laughing: Apparently the knocking out of the teeth is cooler than having the teeth knocked out? They are both very proud about it!

 

Mine aren't terribly competitive which surprises me as they are really active. (And their mother doesn't struggle with competition at all....)