Are they twins?

Why is it that every time I take the boys out people ask me if they are twins? They are not identical but they definitely look like brothers and they look enough like me to connect me to them as their mother. When they ask "are they twins?" do they really mean to ask if they are identical twins?

Also, what is with the Octomom comments? I swear, every time I'm out with the boys I get 1-4 comments about the Octomom, as if my having twins somehow connects me to her. I think from now on I'll just tell people that I'll give Octomom their regards. I really feel sorry for that woman, but that's beside the point.

And why does everyone have to know which baby is oldest? (William by 2 minutes)
What does it matter? (it doesn't)

And why do they all want to know if I breastfeed? (as much as I can)
Or if I had a c/s? (yes, and it was a very painful difficult recovery and I'm still not 100%)
Or if I have help? (no, I don't have help)

And lastly, why does it matter if they are "natural?" My boys are "supernatural" and I'm so proud to be their mama!

 

:hug: Twins are special. People who don't have them, want them. People who have them want to bond with others who do, or at least share their experiences.

People are curious. :hug: I've had my share of comments, including when I told a group of elderly who I was familiar with, that I was pregnant again and one of them remarked that keeping my legs closed could have prevented it. :shok: A lot of it is people with foot in mouth disease.

 

i've been asked the most absurd questions, including whether or not i breastfeed (no thanks, don't want to discuss my boobs with strangers) and what i think of "octomom." first of all i hate the nickname "octomom" because i think it dehumanizes. but that's where my opinion ends. i don't have to have an opinion. why am i expected to have an opinion?

yesterday i was stopped by someone who wanted to ask me if it was really hard having two babies at the same time. i laughed and said, "oh you have no idea." he then frowned and looked insulted, and proceeded to regale me with stories of his kids so i would know that he's experienced tough baby times, too. it's like he only asked because he wanted me to reassure him that he could do it, too.

 

I don't mind most questions actually. I think people are naturally curious and amazed by twins...as they should be! However, I think some people don't have a filter on their brains or mouths and need one!

 

I am soooo tired of Octuplets comments!!! They were born several days before we had our twins and had comments throughout the c/s and hospital stay ~ things like 'be glad there aren't 6 more', 'are there are more in there', 'you have it easy compared to her' etc, etc.
And whats with people asking if they are natural (which they are but none of your business!!) as if IVF or clomid babies are unnatural or people assuming because we have twins we used medical assistance.
I am still not used to be a bit of a sideshow act when we are out, but we don't go out much still so its not too much of a problem. I just don't know why people think they have a right to touch the twins just because they are twins...seriously people - back away from my babies!!!

Sorry for my little rant, we went out yesterday and it took twice as long just because of other people

 

QUOTE(Lizzybo @ Apr 8 2009, 08:50 AM) [snapback]1264293[/snapback]
Why is it that every time I take the boys out people ask me if they are twins? They are not identical but they definitely look like brothers and they look enough like me to connect me to them as their mother. When they ask "are they twins?" do they really mean to ask if they are identical twins?


Even if it's obvious, people will still ask because they are wondering if their assumption is correct. If you look around, there are actually a lot of sibling pairs who look like twins, so you can't always be certain. Or you could be babysitting one. Plus, I think some people just say exactly what they're thinking, no filter. They forget that they can ask that question in their own heads!

The "natural" question bugs me SO MUCH. I tell them "all babies are natural." Basically with any other question like that I just say, "that's very personal." I think people don't realize how intrusive their questions are.

 

QUOTE(becky5 @ Apr 8 2009, 12:06 PM) [snapback]1264318[/snapback]
I don't mind most questions actually. I think people are naturally curious and amazed by twins...as they should be! However, I think some people don't have a filter on their brains or mouths and need one!



I agree. I don't mind the questions at all and answer them truthfully. But people just don't know when to shut their mouths.

 

I'm not a huge people person in the first place so when I found out I was pregnant with twins I knew I was going to be flooded with questions and dumb comments. I simply don't deal with it. I respect other people's privacy and time out so I expect others to do the same for me. So, if my husband and I go out with the girls and people ask "are they twins?" I simply nod and walk away because if I don't I will be inundated with questions that I don't have time to answer. My one HUGE pet peeve is when people ask me if they are boys when clearly they are wearing pink polka dots with pink bows in their hair. Give me a break people!

I will tell you this much...most of the time I go out with the girls I feel like a freakin' side show. It's like people have never seen twins before and it really bothers me when they stare and point. Twins are a lot more common these days so you think people would be used to seeing them. It almost deters me from going out and doing my business but life must go on. I must realize that most of the human population is quite ignorant. :clapping:

 

People are intrigued by us (them) and don't know what to say. I think the "are they twins" question is an ice breaker for them. I am sure I did it before. I am sorry it bothers you. It seems as though it has gotten better for me now that they are older. Actually, it may be the fact that I have learned to anticipate and evade "attackers". I can sense someone coming and go the other way before they know what happened. :search:

 

I'm sorry if I gave the wrong impression. Most of the comments and questions don't bother me. I just don't know sometimes why they ask those particular questions. I don't think I would have asked someone those questions if I didn't have twins.

 

QUOTE(Lizzybo @ Apr 8 2009, 04:50 PM) [snapback]1264293[/snapback]
Why is it that every time I take the boys out people ask me if they are twins? They are not identical but they definitely look like brothers and they look enough like me to connect me to them as their mother. When they ask "are they twins?" do they really mean to ask if they are identical twins?

Also, what is with the Octomom comments? I swear, every time I'm out with the boys I get 1-4 comments about the Octomom, as if my having twins somehow connects me to her. I think from now on I'll just tell people that I'll give Octomom their regards. I really feel sorry for that woman, but that's beside the point.

And why does everyone have to know which baby is oldest? (William by 2 minutes)
What does it matter? (it doesn't)

And why do they all want to know if I breastfeed? (as much as I can)
Or if I had a c/s? (yes, and it was a very painful difficult recovery and I'm still not 100%)
Or if I have help? (no, I don't have help)

And lastly, why does it matter if they are "natural?" My boys are "supernatural" and I'm so proud to be their mama!


Being quite a private person I find the attention I get when out with twins quite hard. People who do not know us fire questions that I would never dream of asking a stranger. As in how they were concieved, or how were they delivered.
Also people tend to speak and then think. Several times when out with my boy and girl twins, dressed quite obviously in pink and blue, people say "two boys lovely"

 

i get the octomom comments alot too! they say "aww twins? -yes- be glad you dont have 8! yeah because 2 is soo easy

 

QUOTE(becky5 @ Apr 8 2009, 06:06 PM) [snapback]1264318[/snapback]
I don't mind most questions actually. I think people are naturally curious and amazed by twins...as they should be! However, I think some people don't have a filter on their brains or mouths and need one!


Same here though I do draw the line when strangers ask me if they are "natural" NOYB is what I think! :angry:

 

What is it with the 'octomom' comments like we all secretly get together for slumber parties at her house every weekend? My response now is that if I had 8, it would be so easy I wouldn't even need my husband. That usually leaves people in enough shock that I can escape before they ask me about Jon & Kate plus 8 or whatever multiples happen to be in the news at the moment.

:catfight: Ok, yes this emoticon has nothing to do with anything, but I just found it and think it's hilarious.

 

I don't so much mind getting the questions from people who know me but the strangers drive me crazy...The rude comments that come out of their mouths is amazing.

 

I have become very good at avoiding eye contact - the precious little time I have to shop or go out between feedings, I don't want to spend chatting to strangers!

I haven't heard too many octomom comments, I always hear "did you ever see Jon and Kate Plus 8"? Um, yeah, it's a TV show, so what? I hate, hate, hate the questions about IVF and I haven't come up with a standard answer because it comes in different phrases - "Did you have help?" (Um, no, we figured out sex all by ourselves...go figure) I'm also very private and I can honestly say that I have never even thought of asking people such personal questions.