Are these typical behaviors?

My daughters react very differently when they do something that causes injury to others. Cricket will usually look sad, say she's sorry, and offer to kiss the spot. Piper, on the other hand, will avoid making eye contact, usually turn her entire body away, and ignore us until we stop talking about the injury. It's almost like she's embarrassed, but I don't know if I'm just projecting my own emotions and thinking that's it. For example, Cricket threw a pencil and it hit me in the forehead. I yelped "ouch" involuntarily, and then said "oh Cricket, that hurt mom. Please be careful. Remember, we don't throw things because it could hurt". She came right over and said she was sorry, then wanted to hug me and kiss my forehead. A few minutes later Piper ran full tilt into me and knocked me half over. I banged into a chair and did the same involuntary yelp. I said pretty much the same thing... be careful, please don't run without looking where you're going, etc, etc, etc. But Piper wanted nothing to do with hugging or kissing me. It was obvious she knew that what she had done caused me pain (even if it was just a little pain) but she didn't want to acknowledge it. I tried to pick her up to talk about running in the house, but she turned as far away from me as she could and refused to even look at me.

So I'm wondering which of these is typical toddler behavior? Or maybe both?

Second question... both of my girls reverse their words. The lady who sells tomatoes at the Farmers Market is the "tomato lady" to DH and I, but when the girls talk about her it's "lady... tomato... give me red tomato". Other examples are "blanket pink" instead of pink blanket. Usually they reverse words when they're trying to talk in big sentences, so maybe it's a processing thing, but for some other words, they're always reversed. Is this a typical toddler thing too?

Thanks!
Tricia

 

Both of my sons are sticklers for the rules, and very sensitive about doing things wrong, but one will run and hide when he gets in trouble, or is called out for doing something wrong. That includes things like your examples, that are accidents. Eventually, he'll come back out of his room (or his silent sulk), but it seems to be about his desire to be "perfect" and his dislike of being in the wrong (and in the spotlight for doing so). I'm not sure how to deal with it, though I try to talk to him about it and insist that he apologize to whoever is hurt. Anyway, just thought I'd mention that, in case that is something that makes sense for your Piper.

Mostly I just try to talk to him about how everyone makes mistakes. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and that we all just need to try harder the next time, but that I don't love him any less.

As for the second question, your girls are right on target, language-wise. Nouns and their modifiers can be tricky, but when kids are first learning language, they tend to put the most important thing first, and the modifiers (adjectives) afterwards. As they get more comfortable with the rules of language, they will move them in front of the noun where they usually belong. For instance, when kids are just beginning to combine two words, they'll usually put the object first, then the action: "ball throw" or "cookie eat". It's the same sort of idea with modifiers.

 

I think the first issue is just a personality thing. If I yelp after being hurt, Kevan usually laughs (insolent kid!), but Karina's eyes will get very big, and she'll watch closely for my next reaction to see whether she needs to be upset. Sometimes she'll say, "I sorry" and sign 'hurt.'

As far as the language thing, Nadia reversed her words for a long time, even at 3 and 4. Her sentences were often like this -- "Can I have it please, Mommy? Blue cup."

She eventually outgrew it, and now her speech is just fine. I'd say she speaks correctly 98% of the time, with the very occasional "ouch, that hurted me" and stuff like that.

 

My son does this too!! It was a little weird at first, but I realized that I am like that. I HATE to be in trouble!! He's just a sensitive kid and that's the deal. I have no idea where my son got the idea to go hide when something broke or he hurt his sister. He wants to hide. :umm:

He's a sweet kid, and doesn't TRY to break things or hurt her - sometimes it happens.

Sounds normal!

 

I wouldn't worry at all about the word thing. They are talking, and talking well, so it'll come.

As for the other thing...my oldest did that at times. When she felt really bad about whatever happened, she would want to ignore it and it took all kinds of work to get her to acknowledge that she had done something not ok, and that she needed to apologize. Especially when it was a total accident. I, too, think it's a personality thing. But, they still need to learn to take responsibility and fix it (with an I'm sorry). Even/especially when they don't want to.

 

Thanks everyone. It's good to know that the things my girls do are similar to your kiddos and that Piper's probably just showing her sensitive side (which she definitely has). Ellen, your comment about nouns and modifiers makes total sense. I started listening to the things P & C reverse last night that what you explained is exactly what they do. So thank you... I love when there's an explanation for things.

 

Mine are the exact same. Lily runs over with hugs and kisses for mommy's boo boo and Jack sort of looks at me with almost a little smirk on his face. He will say "sorry" though if prompted but I am not convinced he means it !

Jack and Lily both reverse their words also.

 

My DS is the one who will usually apoligize. DD will frown or make her pouty face and hold her hands to her mouth, which she also does if she is in trouble. It usually takes her longer and some prompting and encouraging to get her to apoligize.