Anyone wish they did CIO sooner?

I am from the first year forum. My girls are 12 weeks, 8 adjusted. I know they are too young for total CIO. I would never just leave them to CIO but here's my issue:

For 6 weeks we have had a heck of a time putting them to bed at night. We have tried everything. We have tried Happiest Baby OTB, gripe water, swaddling, white noise, pacifiers, walking to sleep, swings etc. The problem is they cry through all of it. If we do happen to get them to sleep, they wake up when we put them down. My DH is out of town for work two nights a week and I have to walk both babies, one at a time and because there is only one of me this can go on until 1 or 2 am. I also have two other children that I need to tend to in those evening hours.

I want to try to put them down after the bedtime routine when I know they are fed, clean, warm etc. let them cry but check in with them every 10 or so minutes to let them know I'm here. I feel like they need to learn to sleep. This is crazy. I can't imagine this is how it is supposed to be.

Did any of you try this or wish you had?

 

I did CIO at 5 months with Bea and 10 months with Ainsley. Bea I did it earlier because nothing would soothe her to sleep, and she was clearly tired. It wasn't all that bad, and I figured through trial and error that she needed to be left alone and cry for a few minutes. With her, CIO consisted of crying for maybe 15 min at the most, and then she would settle down. Ainsley was a different story. She used to fall asleep on me, and that was the only way she would sleep. By 10 months, I couldn't do it anymore so I did CIO. That was the totally painful, I had to go cry myself type of CIO, but it worked. Do I wish I had done it sooner? Maybe a few weeks sooner, but I had to do it when I felt she was ready.

However, (this is a big however) when they were a few months old, I had no schedule going so I didn't actually have a "bedtime" for them. I would just take them upstairs around 9pm for the night, whether they were awake or asleep. Bea had colic, and sometimes nothing would soothe her. If she did not calm down from anything I was doing (rocking her, walking, etc) sometimes I just had to leave her be. I wouldn't really consider it CIO, but sometimes there's just nothing you can do to soothe a colicky baby, and for your own sanity, you have to step away.

You might want to read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child". I didn't read it until they were 5 months, and that I wish I had read sooner.

 

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!

I could totally kick myself in the butt for not doing it sooner but I guess as a new mom, I just didn't know any better and did it when I was emotionally ready. I didn't do it until about 14 months (only for one of my dd, the other one slept through the night at about 7.5 months). If I ever have another child, I will DEFFINATELY be doing it much sooner than that.

 

I agree-- at 3 months schedules are pretty hard. What time are you putting them down? If they scream for that long, I would wonder about reflux or colic. I would call your pedi and talk to them to see if there is something medically wrong. I tried CIO with Lilly around that age and it was not successful. I think they are too young to soothe themselves. I tried again at 5 months and it was no problem. Best of luck and keep us updated.

 

My Pedi said we could let them cry around 4 mos. but I felt it was a little early. I remember those nights walking my son (I swear he was colic but we never really called it that!)

When your hubby IS in town, don't hesitate to strap him into his car seat and take a drive! If you can, do both. Then leave them to sleep in their carseats when you bring them in the house. (I would unbuckle and tuck a blanket in)

Unfortunately, it's their only method of communication. So....try
Burping more
Swaddling
Vibrating bouncy seat
Put their hands under or in warm water (takes their concentration to a whole other place)
Feed a little more to see if it's a growth spurt.

I'm sorry there's no good answer! It's a guessing game until they can actually tell you :hug99: It'll get easier!! And more difficult in other ways, but better!!! :hug99:

 

I did it at ten months and I still feel guilty about it. I wish I could have waited longer. I would hold off if you can, it's really hard though I know.

 

Okay, obviously I am in the minority here, but I had my girls on a (flexible) feeding/sleeping schedule from the day they were brought home from the hospital. They were born at 33.5 weeks and came home after 2 weeks. While in the hospital, the nurses had the girls on a 3 hour feeding schedule. I breastfed when I could get there, and I also pumped all the time and they stored my milk there when I couldn't make it in for feedings.

When the girls came home, I just kept them on the same schedule. They would eat every 3 hours around the clock and then (during the day) we would have some "awake time" if they would manage it, but at night I would feed them and then put them right back down to bed in the dark.

At 6 weeks old, stopped waking them for the 12am and 3am feedings, so that the 9pm feeding was supposed to be the "last" feeding of the night. They would always wake up once a night during that time. But I let them "tell me" when they were hungry. Then at 9 weeks of age, our pedi told us that the babies were "programmed" to eat at 2am (the time they usually woke up) and suggested that we start reducing the amount that they were eating by either 1 ounce (for bottles) or 2 minutes (for breastfeeding) per night. He said that they would begin to realize that it wasn't worth waking up for just a little "snack".

It worked so quickly that it really surprised my husband and I. We did have to let them "cry it out" at times. Which is definitely one of the hardest things I have ever done!!! I must say that I am so glad that I did this, b/c my girls are great sleepers for naps and bedtime now. They are now 17 months old and their cribs are side-by-side and they go to bed at 6:30pm and wake up at 7am.

So, I guess this is considered cry it out and I am very, very glad that we did this.

 

We started sleep training around 3 months. By 4 and 4.5 months they were both sleeping 9-10 hours at night, and that quickly turned into 12 hours straight through. I used a book called "Good Night, Sleep Tight." I highly recommend it.

Our first problem was getting them to sleep in their cribs - they would only sleep on us or in their swings. After we got them sleeping in their cribs, we worked on dropping the midnight bottle. And we did that because they were eating only an ounce or two at 9, and then the same at midnight, and the same at 2 or 3. We thought it would be better to have them take a full bottle at 9 and then a full bottle at 3 and drop the midnight bottle. It was a little bit rough, but we made it through.

Good luck with whatever you decide

 

Thank you for all of the responses. I appreciate it so much. I do not mind getting up in the night to feed them. I'm totally fine with that. My issue is just getting them to go to sleep in the first place. I just want them to fall asleep for 3 hours sometime before midnight, then I can get up all night if that's what they need but the evenings are just heck for them as much as for me.

Thanks again for the help!

 

How do they sleep at other times? Do they cry out a lot or moan while they sleep? Do they cry a lot while awake?

My girls cried a lot but would eventually fall asleep. When we would set them in their crib, they would wake up and cry. They slept okay if they would sleep with us but I didn't want to start that plus they squirmed and moaned all the time. The doctor thought they had reflux so we tried having them sleep at an angle rather than flat. During the night when they did sleep, they would squirm, moan and cry out. They were finally diagnosed with a soy and dairy intolerance and once we changed formula they slept really well only waking when hungry. We learned to read their cries (baby whisperer) so we knew they were hunger. By 6 months they were signing "milk" so we knew when they were hungry. I read and implemented the baby whisperer book at 8 months. I wished I done it as soon as we had the intolerance figured out.

 

Us too, my two are 19 months, and by 5-6 months were sleeping at least 6 hour stretches. I too am probably the minority too, we let them CIO at around 3.5/4 months. I remember there was about 2 weeks where it was just awful, I'd go in a rock them once until they fell asleep or calmed down, but then I'd put them back into thier cribs and from there if I knew they were fine, I'd let them CIO. They were bottle babies, and their last bottle was around 10pm, they'd get up once during the night and then again closer to early morning. But again, I'm one of those moms that put cereal in their bottle at night too. Gasp, I know....but it worked for me. They usually only would cry for maybe a half hour and finally would get tired enough they fell asleep. As they got older, I've had no problem putting them down awake, they fall asleep on their own now. The only problem I'm having now is they love playing together for a hour or so at night before falling asleep. I always told myself, "I'm just one person, I can't be super mom, if I'm exhausted." It didn't mean that I loved them any less cause I let them cry, it was hard, but they're good sleepers now. Good luck, I hope you find a solution that works for you.