Anyone wait until AFTER the twins are 3 or 4

for another baby? And if so how did it go? My guys are two and I see so many people on this board who are pregnant with another baby. It seems to be the ideal spacing is 2 to 3 years for a lot of families. I am so happy for those of you who are pregant and this isn't meant to be rude to those of you who are. Frankly I can't imagine bringing another child into our family right now. Our boys are ID and we got pregnant the first month we "tried." We only planned on one, but were blessed with two. They have been very difficult babies/toddlers - lots of issues with their health, sleeping, eating, ect. Most issues you name it, we had it! I have only been sleeping through the night for about 4 months now (when the boys started) and can't imagine not doing that again!

We haven't decided if we are "done" or not. But we definatly aren't planning on another for a while. Anyone wait this long and still find it an okay transition? Just curious!

 

for another baby? And if so how did it go? My guys are two and I see so many people on this board who are pregnant with another baby. It seems to be the ideal spacing is 2 to 3 years for a lot of families. I am so happy for those of you who are pregant and this isn't meant to be rude to those of you who are. Frankly I can't imagine bringing another child into our family right now. Our boys are ID and we got pregnant the first month we "tried." We only planned on one, but were blessed with two. They have been very difficult babies/toddlers - lots of issues with their health, sleeping, eating, ect. Most issues you name it, we had it! I have only been sleeping through the night for about 4 months now (when the boys started) and can't imagine not doing that again!

We haven't decided if we are "done" or not. But we definatly aren't planning on another for a while. Anyone wait this long and still find it an okay transition? Just curious!

 

While it wasn't twins, my oldest was 3yrs 8mos. when the twins were born and I think it was the ideal age. He has been a wonderful big brother and the transition has been so easy. We are going to probably wait at least 3 years before another.

 

Our boys are the same age and while my boys have been relatively easy about sleeping and such, I don't think I could keep my sanity with another right now. Although I thought we would already be pg by now...I think we might just wait another year. There was 5 years between my sister and I and we weren't so close growing up...but since the boys have one another, I'd be more apt to having my next two closer in age to each other and farther apart from G & E.

 

We're not planning on having any more kids -- but just a thought... A lot of people who have twins conceived them through IVF or fertility treaments (although a lot didn't!). Most of the women I know who had infertility issues the first time around, if they want more kids at all, are likely to start trying for the next one pretty quickly. I have three friends who are each going to have two kids (singletons) within two years of age, for that reason. So that might account for part of it -- although I would also never assume that someone had fertility issues just because their kids wound up being close in age!

 

We're still undecided about trying again. If we have another child, we would start trying when the girls are three. We got pregnant with the girls the first month we were trying and they are spontaneous fraternal twins, so I have as much as a 1 in 5 chance of twins again! DH is a SAHD 3-4 days a week while I teach third grade and I don't think he could handle 4 in diapers, so they girls would need to be solidly potty trained before we try again.

 

If we have any more, I plan on waiting until they are over 3. We also have had horrible sleepers (still not sleeping through), and they've always been higher-need babies.. so I kind of feel that my hands are full already. Maybe when they start going to preschool, but probably not at all.

 

My boys have been a challenge in pretty much every way (though thankfully they've been healthy). sleep has been a struggle as well as their fussy/cranky temperments. However, I want mine closer together in age to get these stages pretty much over with at once. I hate the idea of sleeping through the night for 2 years and then losing it all over again. I'd rather get it all over and done with at once.

 

No advice, just I'm kind of in the same boat. My girls haven't really had many issues, but I still can't imagine having a newborn plus them to care for every day. If we do have another, it will probably be when they are 3-4 yrs. We went through IVF, so that also plays a role in our decision.

 

We always said maybe when they are 3-4 yrs old, they are 3 1/2 now. But medically my doctors won't let us get pregnant again, so we are thinking adoption and hopefully find twins to adopt. And now we will be moving withing the next year, so we are probably going to wait till we get settled so I guess they will be closer to 4 before we start the process of adoption.

 

We are waiting to try again when the girls are AT least 3-3 1/2 years old. My girls have been very difficult since about 20 months old, and I know that I am unable emotionally or physically to have another just yet.Yes, I am a wimp!!! I am 32 now so I am hoping to be pregnant around 34. I hope my plan works out.

 

My girls will be 5 at the end of March and I plan on having another someday. I don't know when yet though because I still have to talk dh into it. I always said I wanted to wait until they were 5 though.

 

My younger set of twins are 4 years younger than my first set and the spacing couldn't have been better. I am thankful that the older boys were potty trained and could follow simple directions. I don't think I could have handled a baby if they were 2 or 3.
Good luck!
Christine

 

Although I had a singleton first, there are 4 years between my boys. LOVE the spacing. Jackson was fairly independent when they were infants, plus he was a big help, and now they all play really well together and are each others' best buddies.

 

When my oldest was a little over 3 we decided on one more( noone ever thinks it will be twins).There the same age now as when we decided to have another one. BUT its a BIG BIG NOWAY. I had my tubes done when they were 6 months old. Even if they were not I personally cannot imagine after that pregnancy ever wanting to do it again.
BUT if the option was open and we could afford more(different frame of mind)...I would personally wait till they were 3or 4. Sleeping and potty trained. Able to amuse themselves for more then 10 mins.

Its a hard choice to decide when you want more...you'll know when its right.

 

Our girls will be three in January and we hope to get pregnant this year. The major reason I waited is because I realy wanted to give them as much attention as I could during the first few years. I feel that becasue they are twins, they already have to split all of the attention and I can't imagine haveing another baby around and giving them even less attention. By the time the new baby is here, they will be better listeners and more independant. We have a strong bond now, so I won't feel they are missing out or being rushed to grow up quicker because there is a baby in the house.

If I didn't have twins the first time around, I think I would have had children closer in age.

 

I knew from the second my twins were born, that if we were going to have more children, it could not be until the twins were in Kindergarten. I have loved every second of having twins, but it has been overwhelming. I really don't think that I, personally, could have cared for a newborn when my twins were 2. Now that they are 3.5, I can almost see myself having another baby in a year or so. There are so many things to consider. For me, foremost, is the fact that DH works INSANE hours, so I am by myself with the children from breakfast to bedtime. Someone who has a bit more help, or didn't have older children, might have a different viewpoint. I think it is most important for the primary caregiver to feel comfortable with the spacing - and it doesn't really matter what the specifics of the spacing are. You do what's right for YOU.

 

We are now expecting and I couldn't be happier. Although I am a little scared and nervous about going back into the baby phases and the changes we are going to go through, I am so glad it happened now then later. DH has six sets of twins on his side, and my Dr. said if we were to wait any longer, we would most likely have another set. Right when I found out I was pregnant, I made them do an ultrasound to see how many was in there. And it's just one this time.

Now that the girls know that there is going to be another addition, they are just soo excited. Every time I go to a Drs appointment, they think that's the day the baby's coming home!

It of course is going to throw us off of our schedules and things we are used to now, but we will get used to everything just like we did with two babies. I think moms of twins can handle just about everything that is thrown our way.

Susan

 

Hi, we are planning on more kids and we are also having a hard time deciding the ideal time...The boys will be 2 in Feb and I was feeling overwhelmed too with things like their speech and developmental delays, plus just things like not having a big enough apartment and car for more kids yet. Well, we just decided the heck with it and I went off the pill. I got pregnant right away with the boys so we will see what happens. We are not trying to get pregnant for the next few mos so we're going to practice natural family planning for a while, which is what we did for the year leading up to when we had the boys and it worked for us. I know it is hard to decide when the right time is. Part of the problem for me too is figuring out what to do about my career, I'd love to stay home for a while or at least really cut down work when the next one is born, so I think it would make more sense to really have them all close together so that I'm not constantly returning to work full time and then cutting back. We'll see what happens...

 

I see a lot of people responding to your question so normally I'd let it go at that, but we JUST had a baby and the twins are 3 3/4 (3 years 9 months) and it's working out beautifully. We had thought that we would wait about 4-5 years to have another, but frankly, I was ready for another baby when they twins turned 2. This age is wonderful though asthe girls are fully potty trained, have a great deal of understanding about the baby, can dress themselves, fetch things for me, put their own toys away...and so much more. They have each other so the age gap is ok. Since we DID have a singleton this time, we are considering that we should have another with the next 2 years so he's not alone. We were hopeful for twins again and really felt we could handle it. I have to say though that having ONE is amazing!! I kind of figured it would be a lot easier (then the twins) and it is...I love it. Hope that helps.

 

I'm on your track. We are trying to wait until the twins are 4 or 5 before we have another one. I just can't see having to go to the store to but 2 different sized diapers and trying to get childcare for 3 (maybe even 4) kids. It would just be too much. I have just started to get the hang of things and gain a little control. I can't see starting over, yet. Don't get me wrong, I want another baby, but just not right NOW.

 

we just had # 3 8 weeks ago and the girls turned 3 in november so they are 3 yrs apart and it's working out perfect.
He is already 15 lbs ( born 2 weeks early weighing 1 lb more than the twins together) and he sleeps through the night, so needless to say things are rolling very smoothly. The girls are very good helpers, which also helps bigtime- but I do agree to wait until they are potty trained and able to follow some instruction and be slightly independent.
The real benefit to having a singleton after twins is it's so much easier for 1, and the twins ( my twins) don't have any jealousy issues because they have each other so they don't want me all the time.
I say go for it- once you've had twins you can do anything, and we are really happy we decided to have 1 more, and it's been really good for the princesses too. Good luck with your decision. p

Drew Dakota & Shae Leighanne Nov 24/03
Stone Jackson October 24/2006

 

We didn't start trying again until a couple of months before the girls turned 3. There were times before that when I was ready but there were also many times I was not. When we started trying again, we both felt it was time. We also got pregnant on our first try with the twins and this time it only took two months but we expected it to take a lot longer.

 

I'm also undecided, but leaning towards no more. Being a mom is so hard! But I would definately want the girls to be fully potty trained before bringing home a new baby!
My Brother is 3 years 7 months older than me, and I think that was fine spacing. As we got older we didn't play together so much, but there were loads of kids in the neighborhood so I don't feel like I missed out playmate wise, and he was 4 years ahead of me in school which worked nicely in high school and college for my parents.

 

We're waiting, not because we want to but because we have to. Mine are almost two and dh and I are both ready to ttc. However, I am in the middle of nursing school, and if pg #2 is anything like pg #1, I'll be on bedrest at 30 weeks, and I can't risk that until I'm close to graduation.

So next fall we'll talk to the RE, and hopefully start treatments in Oct or Nov 2007, and since I graduate May 2008, I'll be due way past my graduation. And the boys will be 3.5-4 yo.

 

I have almost 8 years between my oldest and my second son and two years between my second son and the twins. It was hard at first because I felt like I was not giving my two year old the attention he needed but he has become very helpful and independent this past year. I had my tubes tied after the twins because I couldn't imagine having more kids. I must tell you that I regret it every day. The twins are 17 months and it's not as hard as I feared it would be. If I could I would have another set of twins in a heartbeat. I do know that having a (now 12 year old) son is great. He helps out A LOT. It's a very personal decision, good luck to you.
Jen

 

My girls will be 4 this coming year and we are now ready to ttc. Sometimes I worry that there is going to be too big of an age difference between my girls and a baby. I am also glad that we have waited so that I can give my girls all my attention now. They are demanding and it has been difficult raising twins at time. Not that it isnt rewarding but there have been plenty of moments when I just want to pull my hair out. I couldnt have imagined how hard it would have been to have another baby this last year as well as my twins. If things go smoothly then my girls will be starting kindergarten soon after our baby is born and school will give me a chance to spend quality time with a newborn without feeling like they have been put on the back burner. I know that they will be good helpers they try so hard to help me with the 15 month old I babysit. Shae asks for a baby brother sometimes, its really cute. I am now excited and anxious about what this year will bring us.

 

Wow, this is such an interesting topic for me! Our ID girls are two and five months, and I always swore that if we had another there would be only a small gap, because I am eight and eleven years younger than my two sisters and, growing up, they seemed more like mothers or aunts than sisters. I hated it - although I know others have great experiences being the youngest by a long way.

However. We, too, had very difficult, wakeful babies and while our girls are comparatively placid, easygoing toddlers there are still TWO of them. Two sets of chronic ear infections and two little people who have only just started sleeping through the night. We feel like we're just starting to get some semblance of sanity. And we live in a townhouse (not sure if that term is used in the states, but it's a small, semi-detached house in a big complex) - one bedroom for us, one very small one for our daughters, and one for a study (which we need - we're both special ed teachers who bring work home instead of staying on at school). So the upshot of all that is that every month I think "This is the month to start trying again" - and we just haven't quite worked up the courage yet!

We've always said we want one more (with having identicals, the odds are the same the second time around - 1 in about 350, I think). Just not sure when. I keep reminding myself that three and a half or four years' gap is not the same as eight years, which was my experience, and that if we want to leave it longer we could always have another "set" of kids a couple years apart, but that's a daunting thought too!

Maybe access to reliable birth control makes the choice harder? Our grandmothers just had to deal with however many kids fate dished out, didn't they? And that wasn't always ideal either! Oh well. As my uncle says, "Babies bring their own supply of love with them."

 

We are also very torn in the issue. At times, we would like many more, BUT...the girls are our only (after 11 years of marriage) and we had no trouble conceiving and so we aren't spring chickens. We would want to wait til the girls are at least 3 (just for logistical reasons) but at the saem time that's when we want to start taking big trips and fun adventures with the girls (Disney World, etc) and if we have more babies, it would be difficult. It seems like we would be cheating them...so we just don't know yet.

 

Well, I guess I will chime in here. The girls were 3 years and 2 weeks old when the baby was born. I thought FOR SURE that it was the perfect age difference but it is HARD- VERY HARD. They are testing - and testing- and always do it when I have him in my arms and/or feeding him. I think that another 6 months would have been better. Maybe I just have headstrong children but wosh- it is hard. The baby needs extra care because he has reflex and is still not sleeping the night so I am exhausted. Anyways, that is my 2 cents- I think that it has just been a really hard week (but then again, with twins, arent they all )

 

I agree with most everyone here. There is no way I could fathom being pregnant right now. I loved being pregnant with the twins, but as AllGood is with her DH, I'm basically alone with my twins from wakeup to bedtime.

No complaints, because it is all good, but uh uh, no way, I couldn't imagine having a new baby right now.

Christy

 

Wow, I never thought I would get so many replies! It just goes to show how interested we all are in adding to our families and hearing what others are doing too. I am glad to hear their are a lot of you on the "slower" track. It's nice to know that I am not the only one who will be waiting a long time IF we decide to add on to our family some day. I think the 2 year age gap for lots of families just doesn't apply with twins!! I think we will be more on the 5 year track - LOL! I can't hardly handle the 2 that I have I do get jealous at times of my friends having a baby, but then reality of tantrums hits and I am so thankful not to be in their boat!!

Thanks for all of your replies and I continue to enjoy hearing from everyone on their experiences.