Anyone use a gestational carrier who now has their twins?

Hi ladies,
My husband and I have twins on the way through a gestational carrier. We couln't be more excited than we are. We feel truly blessed. She is 29 1/2 weeks along with boy/girl twins. They are biologically ours, my husband's sperm, my eggs. I guess I'm just wondering what the transition is like in the hospital? If it's kind of awkward, strange, or anything like that? I have to admit, I'm a little nervous. Anyone have any experience with this kind of thing? Thanks.
Carisa

 

QUOTE(carisa @ Dec 13 2008, 06:12 PM) [snapback]1109665[/snapback]
Hi ladies,
My husband and I have twins on the way through a gestational carrier. We couln't be more excited than we are. We feel truly blessed. She is 29 1/2 weeks along with boy/girl twins. They are biologically ours, my husband's sperm, my eggs. I guess I'm just wondering what the transition is like in the hospital? If it's kind of awkward, strange, or anything like that? I have to admit, I'm a little nervous. Anyone have any experience with this kind of thing? Thanks.
Carisa


Carisa-
I have b/g twins that were born through a GS. (also biologically mine and DH's)
They are now 2 1/2 years old.

The transition was actually fairly smooth in the hospital. I live in NJ and our GS lived in CA. We visited her once during the pregnancy and visited the hospital, got the whole tour, etc.

I also had been speaking with a social worker at the hospital and she had copies of all our paperwork on file way ahead of the birth (like at the 20 week mark) so there were no issues with us being on the birth certificate or making decisions, etc. The babies had to be put on my insurance once they were born. They were in the NICU for 3 weeks, so the staff got to know us pretty well during that time and all was fine. Once everyone knew our situation, we were just regular parents.

Where do you and your surro live - are you close to each other?
Do you have a PBO?
You can PM me if you want and I'd be happy to talk with you at greater length. Good luck!!

 

There is a FABULOUS woman on here who carried her own twins and the TRIPLETS for another couple. I believe her name now is mommy23monkeys.
I'm sure she would be GLAD to answer whatever questions you have!

 

I haven't experienced what you are about to. But I wanted to say congrats on the expected arrival of your babies!!! Welcome!

 

Congratulations! :hug: I'm sure it has to be nerve wracking, but I hope it all works out as planned and you have no drama!! :hug:

 

Hi Carisa. Congratulations on your upcoming delivery!! I'm the GS that carried triplets. They just turned one year old last month. My IP's lived in France. We became very close through email and instant messenger. She came out to CA about 2 weeks before the delivery and her husband made it out about 2 days before their birth. She actually stayed at my house for a little while which was wonderful and nerve wracking all at the same time! But things were great. I delivered at a San Diego hospital that was very familiar with surrogate pregnancies. We had all of our paperwork in order and on file before I ever arrived. I am lucky that I had such great IP's. They made a point to add me to the list of people allowed to visit the babies in the NICU (where they were feeders/growers for 8 days only). The hospital would not ordinarily let me down there since I was not on any birth certificates and I was not related. So the hospital was on the ball.

The transitions were great. Easy. It was very exciting and I was so happy to give these babies to their parents. Just make sure you have everything on file with the hospital ahead of time. I think that made for a pleasant experience. I would be happy to answer any questions from a surrogate point of view. Just PM me.

 

Hi ladies,
Thanks for the warm responses. I'm very very excited. I guess I'm just concerned with the whole legal aspect of us being the legal parents. We have all of our paperwork here with us at our house. We received it in the mail about a week ago. My GC has their paperwork as well. I didn't realize that the hospital should have the paperwork on file beforehand. I was just planning on showing up to the hospital with it. LOL. Good thing I'm asking questions now. Both of you Rose24 and mommy23monkeys had your paperwork sent beforehand?

mommy23monkeys-My GC is actually a friend of mine so she will definitely be able to visit in the nursery. So in that aspect, everything should be smooth for us. Her and her husband will have permission to visit. She has done so much for us that I cannot imagine her not being there.

Rose24-My GC lives in NC and I live in CA. Her OB is planning on either a c-section or induction on Feb 10th, which will put her at exactly 38 weeks. That is of course if she makes it that long! Her last cervix check was at 28 weeks and her cervix was 4.6cm. So things are looking good with that, although I know things could change quickly. Yes, we do have a pre-birth order. We just received our final copies in the mail last week! It was very exciting. So I'm assuming that is the paperwork they need to have on file there?

OK-thanks ladies. I'm sure I will have more questions!!
Carisa

 

Rose-What was it like seeing your babies for the first time? I just can't imagine. My husband and I are so excited. It still doesn't feel real for us. Is that how it was for you?

mommy23monkeys-Was it strange giving birth to 3 babies and handing them over the their parents?

Carisa

 

QUOTE(carisa @ Dec 14 2008, 04:00 PM) [snapback]1110524[/snapback]
mommy23monkeys-Was it strange giving birth to 3 babies and handing them over the their parents?

Carisa


Not at all! It was wonderful and I can't wait to do it again.


You should call the hospital where your GC will be giving birth and ask to speak with the social worker. They should be able to help get the paperwork on file and tell you what needs done. I sent copies of my PBO in with my hospital pre-registration and I think my lawyer had sent copies, too. So there was no doubt what was going on.

 

Thanks. I will definitely do that. Thanks for the information!

 

Yes, call the social worker at the hospital and explain your sitaution, when she will be giving birth, etc. Ask what paperwork she would like to have copies of. I remember our attorney gave us several "official" copies of the PBO that the judge signed. One was for us, one for the GS, one of the hospital. We may have had one extra copy but he told us it was hard to get additional "originals" so to take care with the docs. I sent my paperowrk Fed Ex to the social worker to be sure she got everything way before the birth.

It was amazing seeing my babies for the first time.
Our GS' water broke suddenly at 34 weeks and she delivered the babies within 4 hours!!!
So obviously we missed the birth. But her husband was kind enough to videotape the delivery (not any graphic parts - justthe babies after they came out.)
We got to the hospital straight from the airport later that day (after a 5 hour flight) and seeing the babies was unbelieveable - real, but still not real...it was amazing that these two little people were ours. I was paranoid throughout the journey waiting for something to go wrong, so it wasn't final for me until the babies were back home with us in NJ.
But truly amazing to see them for the first time - You'll see - it is an amazing moment that instantly makes you a mother.

Good luck to you and keep us posted!!!

 

Oh, I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that we have two babies on the way! It's truly a miracle. I don't think it will feel real to me until they are home with us in CA, which I know you felt the same. It's true though, I almost feel silly getting the rooms together because I still feel like it may not happen. Or, something will go wrong and they will pass. I know it sounds extreme, but after all of this work to get here, and after all of the excitement. I'm just waiting for something to go wrong! After the transfer of our two embryos, I was told there was a 50% chance that one would take. I was told not to expect twins because one of the embryos wasn't looking good. So we were so shocked to hear that both implanted, and surprisingly, that shock never wore off.

I'm praying and hoping that my GC will make it to her scheduled 38 week C-section, or induction. My husband and I just really want to be there. Ultimately if they are healthy than that is all that matters.

Well, I plan on calling the hospital tomorrow. I'm hoping the social worker doesn't think I'm some crazy person.

Carisa

 

Where in CA are you?

 

The Bay Area. Santa Rosa. I see you are in San Diego. Such a beautiful area. We were just there for a business trip of my husband's. We absolutely loved it!!!

 

Congratulations!!! I can't even imagine how excited you must be! I just got a positive pregnancy test this weekend! I'm a GC for my sister and her husband. Not sure how many are in their yet, but I'm excited to find out.

I don't have an answers, this is even newer to me, but I'm definitely interested in what everyone has to say!

Best of luck to you!

 

QUOTE(carisa @ Dec 15 2008, 08:27 PM) [snapback]1111939[/snapback]
The Bay Area. Santa Rosa. I see you are in San Diego. Such a beautiful area. We were just there for a business trip of my husband's. We absolutely loved it!!!


My twins were born in San Jose (where my GS lived) - so not too far from you!!!

 

i just wanted to say MANY CONGRATS! how exciting for you!! keep us posted.

~~jl (who fought the 'fertility fight' for many years).

ps: i love san diego, too! my babes were conceived there.

 

QUOTE(carisa @ Dec 15 2008, 05:27 PM) [snapback]1111939[/snapback]
The Bay Area. Santa Rosa. I see you are in San Diego. Such a beautiful area. We were just there for a business trip of my husband's. We absolutely loved it!!!


Well maybe if you are ever down in this area again we could meet up. Have you visited any of the surrogacy boards? There are lots of people always getting together and they are able to answer lots of questions you might have.

QUOTE(happychck @ Dec 15 2008, 08:58 PM) [snapback]1112168[/snapback]
ps: i love san diego, too! my babes were conceived there.


LOL Cool!

 

Hey ladies, Sorry I was MIA for a few days. I got the stomach flu and it sort of ruined me for a few days. Anyways, I'm back and getting more and more excited! My GC is now 30 weeks 3 days pregnant. That's right, I'm counting down each and every day!

Mommy23monkeys-Yes! If I'm in the area again, it would be great to meet up. I have a friend who lives in Temecula, so I do go down in that area every once in awhile. Which surrogacy board are you talking about? I really haven't found many.

ROSE-Wow, San Jose is only about 2 hours from me. My husband has business things down there a lot. I love the Bay Area, especially in the Spring and Fall. It's great!

Caba-You are SO very sweet for doing this for your sister! Wow! I was really hoping my sister would offer to do it for me, but she didn't because she still isn't done having kids. So that just wouldn't make sense. Feel free to ask me any questions about the process. I know the whole legal aspect can be confusing. There is just so much that goes into it, it's pretty crazy. Are you on PIO shots? I felt sorry for my GC when she was on them. She had to be on them until about 10 weeks I think. I'm sure you sister is so happy that you are pregnant. How many embryos did you guys transfer? When is your first ultrasound?

Happychck-thanks for the congrats! My husband and I are so excited! There really are NO words to describe. After all we have been through, it is truly and blessing and a miracle.

ROSE & Mommy23monkeys-I called the hospital and after being sent from one person to the next, after a few hang ups, I finally was connected to the right person. Thank God! Apparently one copy is going to the OB, and the other copy is going to the hospital, but they don't want me to mail them. They want my GC to bring them when she checks in to deliver. So that is the plan!

Carisa

 

Hi Carisa... I am also a GC, currently pregnant with a little boy!

The website Rhea (mommy23monkeys) was talking about is SMO (surromomsonline.com)... Its a handy little resource.

I know that with our PBO, the lawyer sent a copy to the hospital, my IPs and myself. That way everyone had a copy. I was also told to take my copy to the hospital with me, just in case. I am going to pre-register on Monday, so I am sure I will take it then too! Has your GC pre-registered with the hospital yet? Do you know if they have delivered a surrogate birth before? I am blessed to be delivery at a hospital that has been there, done that!

I am also in California, in the central valley. (Fresno to be exact..) My DH went to high school in Monterey. Its so nice up there!

I hope your GC makes it to 38 weeks! I carried my twins to 38w2d and had a csection... it happens!

 

Heythere (heather) Thanks for giving me the surrogacy forum. I'll check it out!

I thought it was kind of strange that the hospital wanted my GC to just walk into the hospital with the PBO when she came in to deliver. I don't think they have dealt with too many surrogates, although that surprises me because it is a main hospital in Charlotte, NC. But they did come across over the phone that way. They assured me they did not want me to send the PBO. So I guess I'm just going to do what they told me to. Her OB will have a copy as well and he knows us well. We like him a lot. I will ask my GC if she is going to pre-register. I didn't know that pregant ladies pre-registered. If she is going to, I will ask her to give them the PBO at that time.

Your IPs must be so excited! Do you live near them? I can't believe you carried twins to over 38 weeks! Amazing. Do you remember how long your cervix was around 28 weeks? My GC's was 4.6 cm. I'm hoping that is an indication that she may last. Although I will be more than ecstatic if she just makes it to 34 or 35 weeks.

Carisa

 

I found the surromom website. It's a great site. Maybe I'll register on there too. After reading some different posts on there I'm getting a little nervous now about the PBO not being at the hospital beforehand. I'm definitley going to ask my GC to pre-register and get everything set before the delivery. I was reading about a situation where the IPs didn't get bracelets. Only the GC and her husband got bracelets. I guess the hospital was confused or didn't understand the situation. Hopefully I'm worrying for nothing, and everything will go smoothly. When a woman pre-registers, how long before the delivery is that usually done?

 

QUOTE(carisa @ Dec 19 2008, 04:55 PM) [snapback]1117081[/snapback]
Heythere (heather) Thanks for giving me the surrogacy forum. I'll check it out!

I thought it was kind of strange that the hospital wanted my GC to just walk into the hospital with the PBO when she came in to deliver. I don't think they have dealt with too many surrogates, although that surprises me because it is a main hospital in Charlotte, NC. But they did come across over the phone that way. They assured me they did not want me to send the PBO. So I guess I'm just going to do what they told me to. Her OB will have a copy as well and he knows us well. We like him a lot. I will ask my GC if she is going to pre-register. I didn't know that pregant ladies pre-registered. If she is going to, I will ask her to give them the PBO at that time.

Your IPs must be so excited! Do you live near them? I can't believe you carried twins to over 38 weeks! Amazing. Do you remember how long your cervix was around 28 weeks? My GC's was 4.6 cm. I'm hoping that is an indication that she may last. Although I will be more than ecstatic if she just makes it to 34 or 35 weeks.

Carisa

Yeah, I would make sure she pre-registered. Anytime in the third trimester would be good, especially since she is carrying twins. If you post on the surro site, there may very well be someone who has delivered at that hospital. I know there are a couple surros in NC.
Making the hospital completely aware of your situation beforehand will put everyone at ease.

My IPs live in Philadelphia, so nope, not close at all! I am a scheduled csection, so they will fly out here for the delivery. My cervix was long and closed all the way up until the delivery of my twins. Hopefully it will remain the same for your GC.


QUOTE(carisa @ Dec 19 2008, 06:52 PM) [snapback]1117207[/snapback]
I found the surromom website. It's a great site. Maybe I'll register on there too. After reading some different posts on there I'm getting a little nervous now about the PBO not being at the hospital beforehand. I'm definitley going to ask my GC to pre-register and get everything set before the delivery. I was reading about a situation where the IPs didn't get bracelets. Only the GC and her husband got bracelets. I guess the hospital was confused or didn't understand the situation. Hopefully I'm worrying for nothing, and everything will go smoothly. When a woman pre-registers, how long before the delivery is that usually done?

I wouldnt worry about not getting a bracelet... You have a PBO, so your GC has no rights once the babies are born. In a lot of those situations there is no PBO or they are doing an adoption of some sort. Some states just arent clear on their surrogacy laws, or arent surro friendly at all.

Feel free to email me if you want... [email protected]

 

QUOTE(carisa @ Dec 19 2008, 03:17 PM) [snapback]1117004[/snapback]
Mommy23monkeys-Yes! If I'm in the area again, it would be great to meet up. I have a friend who lives in Temecula, so I do go down in that area every once in awhile. Which surrogacy board are you talking about? I really haven't found many.


Sorry I forgot to come back and check this thread! I'm glad Heather got you pointed in the right direction. You are right, there are not too many surrogacy boards. Maybe only 2 or 3 (that I know of) SMO is the biggest.

QUOTE(carisa @ Dec 19 2008, 06:52 PM) [snapback]1117207[/snapback]
I found the surromom website. It's a great site. Maybe I'll register on there too. After reading some different posts on there I'm getting a little nervous now about the PBO not being at the hospital beforehand. I'm definitley going to ask my GC to pre-register and get everything set before the delivery. I was reading about a situation where the IPs didn't get bracelets. Only the GC and her husband got bracelets. I guess the hospital was confused or didn't understand the situation. Hopefully I'm worrying for nothing, and everything will go smoothly. When a woman pre-registers, how long before the delivery is that usually done?


It's not going to hurt anything to send in the PBO with the registration. Most hospitals have pre-registration for maternity because if you are in labor, it's had to get information out of you! LOL! My SIL never pre-registered with her own delivery and it was really amusing watching her give them her personal info while having contractions.


I delivered my twins via induction at 38 weeks 4 days. So completely doable! I didn't deliver my surro triplets until 34 weeks 3 days.