Anyone taking care of your twins alone? Can I do this?

Our twins will be 8 weeks old this friday. They were born at 33.4 wks so adjusted age of 1 week. My husband has been home off of work on paternity leave and has to return Monday. He works 4 hours away and is only home every other weekend. He is a project manager for a company that builds apartments and goes where the job is. I am scared to death of doing this on my own. Especially night feeds. We also have a son in Pre-K and I will go back to work full time next week. A nanny will be caring for the twins in our home.

Is it possible for me to do this on my own?? Night feeds are so hard and it takes my husband and I to do it. He does one baby and I do the other. They are on the same schedule and eat every three hours. I am so worried, I havent had to care for them alone yet. Thinking about going to stay with my parents so I can have some help with night feeds. I work 9 to 5 and I know I will be so tired doing night feeds alone. I am only getting about 5 hours of sleep a night now with my husbands help. They eat a 10pm, we go to bed, back up at 1am and 4am then up for the day at 7am. Take about an hour to feed and get babies back to sleep. Most of the time we are holding them while we sleep so they will sleep.

Are any of you taking care of your twins alone due to a spouse working out of town or single parent?? I am so scared.

 

I was thrown in to "single" parenting when DH was deployed for 2 months when the boys had been home for a month (2/3 weeks adjusted age). You CAN do it! I did bottles in their car seats so I could feed both at once. I could then use a blanket to prop the bottle while I burped one and then switched. It also helped me to rock them both to sleep. Sometimes I would rock one in my arms and rock the other in the car seat w/ my foot. They slept in those things for about 2 months so I could survive. We will be surprised by how creative you can get in a pinch! Hang in there and I'll be thinking about you! DH is away again, though for a shorter time. By the time the boys were 1, he had been away for over 5 months (in different times).

 

I did & do take care of my 5 alone. DH works out of town. 2 wks in & 2wks gone.

It was hard @ times, but very doable. I cannot say as to how you feed as I exclusively breastfed.

Good luck!

 

I think it's do-able. It will be busy and there will be trying times, but you can do it! Especially if you are getting mental breaks by going to work and doing something different than just caring for the kids all day long.

 

you can do it!! dh is gone alot, sometimes doesnt get home til after their bedtime, and he doesnt help at night (dont bash us please lol). i also dont have a job outside the home, and i dont have any other children, so my days probably arent as hectic as yours but you'll be alright. theres quite a few mamas on here who stay at home and have 2, 3 or 4 other children.

 

As a PP I am a stay at home mom, and I do not take care of them alone NOW, but I did until they were 3 months old (DH was in training for the military since 3 months before they were born, and was only home for a day and a half for their birth). It is hard, yes, but doable. I would put one in a boppy pillow, and then put the other in a crevice between the bed's blankets and the boppy (some use 2 boppys, but I only had one), and I would either hold each bottle or prop with blankets (and watch them) so I could feed them at the same time. This was easiest, as DS always got done eating first, I could burp him, and then by that time DD was finished. This was all when I went to straight FF feeding...at first I was trying to nurse, supplement and then pump, one baby at a time, and it just wasn't working. Do what is easiest for you!

 

It is very doable! You are in the early months which are very challenging, mainly because of sleep deprivation. Since you are working during the day, some night help might be helpful to you in these earlier months. How do you feel about staying with your parents and having them help you out? You also need some sleep so you can perform at your job during the day. I didn't have to do the nights alone as my DH was around so my hat is off to you.

 

I do! But I am not back to work yet so you might want to enlist the help of your parents if you want to help you function better at work! I use lots of pillows and spit rags to feed my 2 and the spit rags is only bc they are disasters when they eat!! I sometimes face one towards me on the boppy pillow while the other one is laying sideways or they both face me or both sideways....you will become very creative!! If anyone ever told me I would be feeding 2 newborns at once I would've laughed! DH even tried it once and I wasn't in the room and he said "I dont know how you do this." I said what and he goes feed them at the same time, at which point I walked in the living room to hubby sitting on the couch holding 2 bottles while 2 babies laid on the couch...neither eating :rofl: Haha, it was quite funny...he was so bewildered looking!!!

 

What about hiring a post partum doula? She can come in at night and help out. Just a thought as I really have no idea because mine are still in the NICU.

 

I haven't tried to do this but to me it sounds like getting your parents' help makes a lot of sense, especially since you need to be able to function at work! (And during the night ...) Hoping all goes well for you! Best of luck!

 

QUOTE(SC_Amy @ Jan 21 2009, 05:15 AM) [snapback]1155529[/snapback]
I haven't tried to do this but to me it sounds like getting your parents' help makes a lot of sense, especially since you need to be able to function at work! (And during the night ...) Hoping all goes well for you! Best of luck!



WE ARE IN THE SAME BOAT! my husband is back at work and my twins are a month old....he does help with the night feedings every three hours, but during the day i'm about to have to do it on my own. my mom is helping right now but is leaving very soon....i've asked around and it seems like feeding in the boppy pillows is doable (i had to quit breastfeeding last week) and also the podee hands free bottle systems are supposed to work (my twins haven't yet caught onto it)...I AM JUST AS SCARED AS YOU ARE! but i know that we can do this!

just try to remember that many many moms have done this before us, so there has to be a way for it to be successful, right? i'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

 

My girls were also born premature (30 1/2 weeks) on 31 October 08 and for the first month my mom stayed with us and my husband helped out (a little!). I was in a state of panic a couple of weeks ago when my mom went back home and I had to handle the girls by myself everyday - especially the feeding. But, like the other moms already stated, you get very creative. I also found the boppy pillow to be very helpful during feedings. If they wake up together, I usually sit on the floor with my back against the wall and put a blanket in a boppy pillow so one of the girls sits up a little straighter and doesn't throw up as easily and the other one leans against my legs in front of me. Burping is the bigger issue, but I just stop feeding one of them until the other is burped. It can sometimes get a little messy, but it works (had to do it twice last night). It's easier when I can sneak one out of the room for a feeding without the other one waking up and I just come back for her when her sister is done.

I also don't get a lot of sleep, because I generally have to pump for 40 minutes after feeding them for an hour and since they eat every 3-4 hours, there is not a lot of time for sleeping. Stangely enough, the sleep deprivation generally doesn't hit me until about 7pm or so when I try to get a little nap to get ready for the night again.

The only thing that keeps me going is that everyone tells me that it gets better and that some nights they do sleep 5 hours straight. Can you do it? Absolutely!! You'll probably end up with dark circles under your eyes for the next 6-8 months (you have no idea how much makeup I have to put under my eyes whenever I do get to leave the house hehehe), but you'll do just fine!!

 

Yes, you absolutely can do it! My DH is around, but works odd hours, so mainly it's me taking care of my girls. They will be 3 months old tomorrow and I have been the one to care for them, I would say 90% of the time. I get up with them every 3-4 hours at night for feedings and I feed them both at the same time. I just use 2 boppy pillows and towels to prop up the bottles. Honestly, I let my DH sleep because I have developed such a routine that I don't need his help (I also don't work yet, but when I go back, then I'll probably make him start helping!) It takes me about 40 minutes to get bottles, feed, and change diapers, then it's back to sleep for all of us!

You will develop your own routine, I promise! Good luck to you!!

 

I say go to your parents so you can get some extra help. Your babies are so young & you're right in the middle of that awful sleep deprivation. When ours were that age, I definitely needed somebody's help most nights just because I was so tired. And when I went back to work, I felt even more exhausted at night. You could even have a couple of "practice nights" at your parents' house where you do everything by yourself, but you can yell for them if all hell breaks lose. Maybe after doing that a couple of times, you'll feel more comfortable taking care of them on your own.