Anyone still dressing the same?

My girls are in K this year, and I really thought that would be my stopping point. One of my girls is quite a bit bigger, so if I didn't match them, then I could save her things for Cate. I am cleaning out their closets today, and had myself prepared to keep some individual pieces, but I just can't.

Is there a support group for this? My girls don't care. I choose their clothes for the day, and they put them on. There is no fighting & it's never even mentioned. I think I'll just go with it, until they ask me to stop.

Anyone else still matching? My girls don't look alike at all, so there isn't any confusion by dressing them the same.

 

From the experiences that my MIL shared about her youth, I would say you should start having them choose their own clothes each day. My MIL said she didn't think anything about it when she was young, because she never knew any different, but as she grew older she really resented it. I can also say that there is a set of triplets in our school, GGB. The girls are dressed identically every day, and other than the same hair color, they don't look alike either. But, if you see them in the morning, they are pulling at their hair to change styles so they can be different--their mother sends them to school exactly the same every day. As adults, we generally feel bad for them, because you can see they are trying to find ways to differentiate their looks, but aren't really allowed.

Not that you are forcing them to dress alike, but if they don't know that they can dress differently, they won't try.

 

I had a problem with it too. It stopped once they got to school. They each liked different things. It was actually easier once they started it. You no longer had to make sure they had the exact same clothes on. You also didn't have to have the exact match back-up in case of a spill. Now, I still buy them the same jeans and such, but different shirt tailored to what they like. They pick out what they want to wear though. Once in a blue moon they want to match, and that's fine too.

 

Most people meeting my girls for the first time don't even realize they are sisters, much less twins. I stopped dressing them alike when they started to want to choose their own clothes. We still get similar outfits, but they often wear them on different days. On occasion they will pick the same outfit, but its once in a blue moon.

About the only time they are matching at my request is when we have a family gathering or special occasion or for special pictures. Even at many holidays they are now balking at wearing similar or matching outfits.

 

Sharon - the thought of them picking out their own clothes makes me crazy! :tease: It's my "thing" I guess. I did it with my older daughters, too. They can't pick out their own clothes until middle school. The oldest one couldn't wait - and now (she's 15) I can't shop for her without her being there. My 12yo still likes me to shop for her, and have her clothes ready for her everyday.

I'll see if I can start phase 1 soon. I'll probably still buy matching outfits, but choose different ones for them on some days, and see how they like it.

They are growing up too fast

 

For the first 6 months they were dressed in like colors, because they are faternal. After that I made a conscious choice not to dress them alike. Today for the most part, they choose their clothing for school.

 

I still match my 5y9m girls...right down to socks, underwear & hairbows. I like it, the girls like it, it is uber-cute......I frequently match my clothing to theirs as well. For every story you hear of adult twins who didn't like it, you will hear one where the kids loved dressing alike. My adult twin nieces loved dressing alike - they say their favorite photos are the ones in matching clothes. Everyday when my girls enter their classroom, their teachers comment on how cute they look in their little outfits - they take a lot of pride in that. Don't overthink it - if you kids don't care & it makes you happy go ahead & dress them alike for as long as they will let you.

 

I actually agree with Nikki, though I am from the opposite camp and never dressed my boys the same. I was adamant that we wouldn't. (my boys are identical too, which had a lot to do with that decision) However, Nikki has a point. Your girls are getting to the age where they will start to show their own independence and feelings about something. As long as they are okay with it and seem happy with it, I'd keep dressing them alike. However, if they start to show that it is not okay with them and they want to begin choose different clothes, than even though it is hard, I would let them. It is the beginning of them becoming independent, which is to me is my ultimate goal as a parent.

 

I guess my point is, how do they know it is "OK" to dress differently if they never had the opportunity. People used to ask my why my kids would stay in the stroller at the mall, and it was always because they never knew they had another option. So if all they know is dressing alike all the time, they may not say that they want something different because they don't know that they have that option. Like I said in my other post with the 4th graders, they don't try to dress differently, because their mother has never made it an option for them, but as soon as they are in school, they are playing with their hair, taking on/off a sweater/sweatshirt just to be different from their sister. And how do I know they do it on purpose? Because when it comes time to go home, the "fix" things back the way they were when they got dressed in the morning.

 

I guess I meant that I would give them an option. I wouldn't lay out the clothes for them, I don't do that for my boys anyway. I let them grab what they want out of the closet. But if you do lay them out, I would place a few different tops, bottoms, whatever, and let them just decide what they want to wear. Let them know that they truly can pick whatever they want.

 

Great idea, Cristina. That allows them to choose same or different. I know there are days once in a while where my boys want to dress alike, and they do look adorable!

 

Well, I don't know if that would allow you to have hand me downs, my two will not wear something that they think is their brothers, and the other gets upset that 'He" is wearing "my" clothes.

If you like the choosing of clothes, grab a couple of options (two-three at most each) and let each girl choose between the options. One of my guys chooses his own, the other sometimes does, but on other days I pull a couple shirts, they there are days he asks that Ichoose his clothes, and he comes down in something entirely different--down to the socks.

 

Sorry about that was tring to quote you! I'm new at this. Do the twins accompany you when you're clothes shopping for them? This might help them gain their own identity / sence of style also.

 

I usually buy only one of each shirt but will buy "sets" from Gymboree mostly for ease of matching a shirt/pants. Relatives will still buy two sets which is fine and we dress that way for special occasions.

Recently my girls on their own were matching or wearing similar clothing. I do let them pick out their clothes to wear most of the time with some restrictions. They've learned to coordinate well!

I let them have some input in what we purchase as well for boots, shoes, jackets but if I let them pick all their clothes, they'd end up with the same wardrobe!

Sharon

 

My mom dressed me and my sister alike everyday, until we were in first grade. I remember distinctly saying to her "Mom, I don't want to dress alike any more." I didn't know I had an option I just told my mom how I felt. I'm sure your kids will let you know when they are ready to stop dressing alike. Darlene would have kept dressing alike if I wanted to, but I didn't like all the attention (I'm the shyer one of the two, and back then twins weren't as common so everyone stared and pointed).

Anyway when I had my twins I thought they looked cuter dressed alike so that's what I did until they were 4 and their brother came along, then I decided to start dressing them a like, but different colors so their brother would have more clothes when he grew into them instead of all the duplicate outfits (although that was nice when he was a baby/toddler to always have a back-up if he messed his outfit up) - LOL. Occassionally I'll buy my boys identical shirts, but not too often. They still want me to set out their clothes in the morning, and if I put them in the same outfit they don't care and they are 8 now.

Occassionally Darlene and I will accidently dress alike and our kids get a kick out of it. And it doesn't bother me anymore if everyone stares at us - LOL.

 

My girls (now 5) started choosing their own clothes at age 2. It was at that point that they refused to dress alike. They have the same coats and boots, but that's it. One now loves jeans; the other wears only skirts and leggings. Night and day. I let them pick their own clothes in the stores and dress themselves each day.

 

*raises hand* guilty!!
I guess when they go to K next year I'll need to stop
I really love it though. Mine are SOOO frat, that it's cute to me to see them dressed alike.
I will probably just resort to buying same items in different colors though because that's easy.

For now, they don't care what they wear.