Anyone send your one-year-olds to Grandma's for a week?

My DD is scheduled to deliver son #3 on May 22. The twins will be 13-1/2 months old when little brother arrives.

Our current plan is for my DH and I to help DD's SO with the twins at their house until the 24th or 25th, and then bring the boys home with us until the 31st. (We live 350 miles away.) That will give DD and her SO almost a week alone with the new baby and hopefully time to rest a bit.

The boys are very comfortable with me and DH and I don't anticipate any problems at all, but I'm wondering if any of you have any suggestions that would help the boys and/or us to make the week go smoothly? Since I've never taken care of them by myself I guess I'm starting to get a tad nervous! :huh:

 

I think if they are use to you, then it shouldnt be a problem. A week seems a little long for me. I might cut it down to 4 days or so, but that is me.

OT, but May 22 is mine and my oldest DS birthday! Good day!

 

If they were willing, I would send them to Grammy's house in a heartbeat!

I think you'll be surprised. My kids always did better when left with others. The non-parent won't put up with a lot of nonsense usually, so the kids aren't trying to get away with stuff.

We left the kids here at our house for a weekend with Grandma and SIL when they were 13 mos. old and they did great. They were great sleepers and on a SOLID schedule, so that helped quite a bit!

HOW WONDERFUL of you to do this for them!!!! :hug99:

 

Thanks, Heather. I've actually been wondering if a week might be too long. (Actually it will probably be Sunday thru Saturday, so 6 days but that's still a long time.)

My DD has only been away from the boys for one night, and that was when they were three months old. I'm more worried about how she'll feel being away from them that long than how the boys will feel. I know she'll appreciate alone time with the new baby but she'll miss the big boys so much.

(Dang, I wish I lived closer to her! :angry

Thanks for your comment. And yes, May 22 is a good day! We're really looking forward to meeting our newest grandbaby!

 

So nice of you to do that. As long as you will be spending a couple of days with them at home before you take them home with you you will have a good chance to be very familiar with their routine so I don't think you'll have any problems. While you're there maybe you can take notes and ask lots of questions so you feel more confident but I'm sure you'll do great.
Make sure you take some of their favorite toys with you though. Just to give them that added sense of continuity.

 

You'll do just fine!

My mom kept my boys for a week when I had my c-section. She did good, but I can say... she was definitely ready for them to come back home!

 

What a great grammy! My suggestion would be to have your daughter right down there schedule for you now ... and jot down notes as she is with them every day ... this when you have a good overview of what their days are like. And just have fun with them! At the end of the day, as long as they eat, get changed and play, they are going to have a blast!!

Good luck!
Erica

 

Kathy there is absolutely nothing to worry about - instinct takes over and you will do fine. The feeding won't be an issue - as everyone here has assured me - they will eat if they are hungry. Since you don't have the boys all the time, I would go out and get some of those plug inserts, make sure your cords are shortened on blinds and anything like tall floor lamps or tall furniture that can be pulled up on and might topple - I would secure. For a temporary measure I would simply tie my cabinets and if your daughter has a baby gate, I bring it along with me to confine them to areas that you have made safe. Sleeping might be a little strange for them if they are still used to their cribs. At that age a pillow surrounding them on the bed won't keep them from tumbling off, so I'd use a PNP if she has one to substitute as a crib or take a mattress from one of your beds and put it at floor level. I have little spider man sofa type deals that fold out and it makes a perfect napping place for the boys. The hardest thing was since they weren't in their cribs was to convince them to lay still until they fell asleep. We take naps at the same time each day so they have adjusted to it and at night when they stay I have a bed that I push up against the wall and I lay on the outer edge and sleep with them and they sleep against the wall side. You'll have so much fun playing with them the week will go by in a heartbeat.


Kathy

 

Kathy
I bet everything will go well - especially if you are there a few days before going to your home. I would spend lots of time outside and stay with a steady nap and bedtime schedule and they should have a blast. I am sure they will love getting spoiled by Grammy!!
Hope the boys had a great birthday!

 

I left mine with my parents in September (they were 17 mos old at the time) and I know it was (unfortunately) very difficult for my parents - even though they watch the kids 3 days a week anyway when I work the twins decided they were NOT going to sleep at their house and they were going to cut their eye teeth...

my parents made sure I brought their favorite blankets and loveys to sleep with, along with a bunch of their familiar toys to play with...also they tried to plan outings each day to make the time go faster!

 

I would make sure you know their routine and have any favorite toys/binkys/blankets/sippies...have your daughter make a list of must have items and what they eat regularly. I would try to stick to their schedule as much as possible and their routine foods. Do they get any juice yet? If she waters if down, make sure you are doing it to. I think when DD has stayed at my moms my mom has 1)not put her down for a nap and 2)given her too many treats/full juice. Overtired and oversugared is a "double whammy" for my DD... Now, it's always just been one night, I think my mom thought Grandmas have special rules(which I agree to an extent- but not this young), and since mom would bring her back before nap time the next day she never had to deal with the *fallout* but there always was one. As far as how long, I would play it by ear - if both seem happy a week is fine, but if one or both seem like they need to go home then I would cut it short. You are a great Mommy & Grammy!!!

 

Thanks for the suggestions. I've already been asking DD to write down what they do all day to help me out. The boys do sleep well at night but DD is just now setting a consistent evening routine and more regular bedtime and I'm hoping that's well established before their visit! I'm more worried about the evenings than the daytimes (these boys do seem to have their share of evening meltdowns!) but DH is a wonderful grandpa and we'll enjoy the heck out of having the little ones here, even if we don't get much sleep! I've got two PNP's here at my house; the boys will sleep upstairs (yes I'll have a monitor) and I think they'll sleep fine after the initial adjustment.

I also have a large square Graco playpen (I don't think they call them playpens anymore though!) that I'll keep in my bedroom downstairs for those moments I need to rush to the bathroom or to confine one when loading them in the car. I have clip-on style travel high chairs so we're covered there as well. I'll bring a few of their own toys but have my own Grammy stash as well, and of course I'll bring their own blankets, lovies, etc. Food shouldn't be a problem since they eat mostly table food now, and although they still take two bottles a day, it's milk not formula so that will be easy.

We have a few outdoor toys and a two-seater wagon just waiting for our little guys, too!

Thanks for the reminder to babyproof, Kathy. I need to start looking at things from toddler level again! DD does have a baby gate that we'll borrow, and we'll also bring a few panels of their indoor play yard to use to barricade the large living room entry.

You guys must think I'm crazy to be worried about this! It's just the logistics of having two that intimidates me, lol. You twin moms (and grandmothers!) are SUPER STARS! I know I'm always in awe of my DD and how easy she makes it look!!!

 

Hi Kathy, everyone else seems to have great suggestions. I guess my only other suggestions would be to childproof as much as you can. You can turn your back for one second and they can get into something. What a wonderful grammy you are! I know your daughter will really enjoy bonding with the new baby for a week! Good Luck!

 

QUOTE
You guys must think I'm crazy to be worried about this!

I don't think you are crazy at all!!! I would totally be worried if I didn't have experience caring for 13 month old twins!!! Heck, I still get worried some days with my own!

I actually think your "worrying" is more about wanting to be prepared actually, which is terrific!

I don't have a lot to add to what the others have suggested - just try to keep things flexible - that will be the key to coming out of this with your sanity intact. lol

You are a great grammy and I bet your little guys are going to have a blast with you.

 

Hi Kathy! It sound like you got a llot of great advice! I've read a lot of your posts in the past and I know that you know your grandchildren very well. You're going to be great! It sounds like you and DH will have a blast!

My only advice is if things start to go bad, have a back up plan. My favorites are going for a car ride or having a bath. You can do both of these any time of day and they are a great distraction.

Oh, just one more thought. If 6-7 days is too long for you or the boys, can you bring them to your house for maybe 4-5 days and then bring them back home but stay there for a few days. This might help your daughter and the boys ge used to the new baby, and help you daughter around the house before she is on her own with all three. Plus, I KNOW you want to get your hands on that new grandbaby! This will br a great time for you daughter to reconnect with the twins. Just a thought.

Oh, and remember, you can come to TS for any advice while the boys are at your house!

 

QUOTE(Mel G @ Apr 14 2008, 09:47 PM) [snapback]721913[/snapback]
My only advice is if things start to go bad, have a back up plan. My favorites are going for a car ride or having a bath. You can do both of these any time of day and they are a great distraction.

Oh, just one more thought. If 6-7 days is too long for you or the boys, can you bring them to your house for maybe 4-5 days and then bring them back home but stay there for a few days. This might help your daughter and the boys ge used to the new baby, and help you daughter around the house before she is on her own with all three. Plus, I KNOW you want to get your hands on that new grandbaby! This will br a great time for you daughter to reconnect with the twins. Just a thought.

Oh, and remember, you can come to TS for any advice while the boys are at your house!

Blowing bubbles always changes the mood here fast - of course, it makes a mess indoors Also, do they have a music cd they like? Mine love to dance & be danced around...

Oh, and I think the idea of taking the boys back and staying a few nights yourself is a great one. When the babies were newborns my mom used to come a lot to entertain whoever Mommy wasn't busy with at the moment. It really helped!!! I forgot to mention that before, but then that time is a blur!!!

 

Kathy, first of all -- you are AWESOME to do this! My Mom is great with my older kids but is afraid of anyone under three!

Everyone has given you great advice so far -- so i will lend you some words of wisdom on how to deal with your daughter. I'm not sure what your relationship is like. My Mom and I are VERY close, but we still do a weird mother/daughter dance around some communication issues. One thing that our nanny does that sets my mind at ease is she (pretty much) always says everything is GREAT when it probably isn't. I'm probably an idiot, but I like hearing that everything is fine. My mother gives a little too much honesty when she's watching the kids and then I feel guilty about burdening her with watching them. I know it sounds nuts, but in my opinion, always try to sound chipper and leave out the details of any issues, unless (obviously!) she needs to be told about something of concern.

Maybe some other Moms will disagree with me -- but I always enjoy hearing that things are fine when I'm away. I'd love to hear my Mom say just once that "it's a pleasure" or "we've been having a blast" and not reporting all of the arguments and boo boos of the day..... kwim?



Good luck - you will be awesome!

 

My folks kept the boys when they were 10 months old for 5 days for us. I think they were somewhat nervous. They did great and loved it. I think you'll be surprised. My mom also invited some of her friends to come over and "check out" the babies (meaning, help her out a little bit!!!).

 

My oldest and I will be returning to Chicago early June for more than a week. The twins will stay with my parents (they'll be 18 months). My parents have a huge yard and I arranged some local day care for Mo / Wed / Fri so she has a break too. My dad's work is very flexible, so he'll probably stay home on Tu / Thu and he's there the weekends. He doesn't change diapers but he's very helpful in any other way!

ETA: my mom also plans to have my aunt and another friend come over, who both have resp. 8 and 7 grandkids or so!

 

DS had to go stay with my mom for three months when I was preggo with the twins. We live in MN and they are in NM and I had to go on bedrest. No one could take that much time off their jobs, so my mom flew to get him when he was 18m old. I have three sisters who helped my parents out for that time. He came back after the twins were born. It was really hard.

We saw him on the web cam often and they got him lots of toys that he was familiar with and food, etc. I wouldn't worry too much. It will be fine.

 

I just wanted to add that it won't hurt to have a few special treats on hand (ice cream cup, m &m, popsicles)- just in case you need a bribe!

Also, a DVD that they haven't seen can be a helpful distraction.

Good luck. Can't wait to hear how it goes!