Anyone having 2 girls for your first?

Last night we had our 15w u/s at the peri and found out that we're having 2 girls. It is still early, but both the u/s tech and the peri say girls (and he pointed out the white lines that are most likely the labia). My DH was sooooooooooooooooooooooo disappointed. We went through a lot to get here (7 IVFs, 4 IUIs, 2 m/c's) and it really hurt that he wasn't just happy to have 2 healthy babies in there. He kind of made me feel bad, but he says he's happy and I know the idea will grow on him. I guess I'm just curious if anyone else has gone through this with their DH and if there is any way to get him over it quicker.

Thanks in advance,
Jackie

PS. We don't plan on having more.

 

Congrats on finding out about your girls!!!! That's exciting!!!! I'm sorry that your husband wasn't as excited. I know that when we first found out all my husband could think of was the money aspect of having girls (clothes, dances, proms, weddings, etc)...they seem a little more expensive than boys. However, once they got here, they quickly became "Daddy's Little Girls" and I think his heart melted. He had always wanted at least one girl...now we have two. With this 2nd pregnancy, we are having one baby this time. He actually PREFERS a girl!! Of course, he would be So excited for a boy too, but he thinks that after having two girls that he would be more comfortable with another girl. So, we will see. I think your husband will come around. He probably did have his heart set on at least one boy...that can be a little disappointing, especially if these are your only children. You never know...15 weeks is early, but predictable..but you never know what they will find at the next u/s...maybe something will have "changed."

goodluck with your pregnancy!

 

Congratulations on having 2 girls (girls are great!!)... My DH reacted the same way when we found out we were having 2 boys (he really wanted 2 more girls). He has since gotten over it and is thrilled that are our boys are healthy. Your DH will get over it too. My DH loves having his little daddy's girl- there is nothing quite like the relationship between a girl and her father- girls love their daddy's differently than little boys do. Sorry he was disappointed but once he meets his little girls, he won't be able to remember why he ever felt that way to begin with! Good luck!

 

We have a 5 year old son, and my DH still acted a little disappointed that we were having twin girls. The disappointment lasted less than 24 hours. Once he woke up the next morning, he apologized and said he realized he was silly for acting that way. Once I talked to him more about it, it was fear of girls, not that he did not want them. He was worried about changing their diapers and stuff like that. My brother-in-law said the simple words to him "wipe from top to bottom" and that really helped him realize that it was ok.

I also know many men that wanted a boy, got a girl, and now they would rather have girls than boys. I think the bottom line is he will love the girls like crazy once he holds them for the first time.

 

Well, we have two girls already (4 and 1) and when we found out that we are expecting TWO MORE girls, he was upset/aggravated...which was really disappointing to myself. BUT, once he realized "how cute they'd all look in their Philly Eagles cheerleading uniforms, he sort of perked up a little bit..lol. Hang in there, it will hit him all of a sudden!

 

My DH reacted the same way when we found out about our girls. He quickly got over it, and now they have him wrapped around their little fingers.

 

We have one 4 year old son, but when we found out we were having 2 girls my DH was pretty devastated. He really wanted at least 1 more boy, and we actually thought that we were going to be having 2 more boys. Well, that was about 2 weeks ago, and now DH is excited as ever about having 2 girls, and it's me now, that is kind of wanting boys. The idea will grow on him, just give him a little time.

 

before u know it they'll be "Daddy's girls" and he won't have a second thought about it. Who says the ideal family is a boy and a girl its whatever you are blessed with.

 

QUOTE(erinh56 @ Sep 25 2007, 10:18 AM) [snapback]422485[/snapback]
Well, we have two girls already (4 and 1) and when we found out that we are expecting TWO MORE girls, he was upset/aggravated...which was really disappointing to myself. BUT, once he realized "how cute they'd all look in their Philly Eagles cheerleading uniforms, he sort of perked up a little bit..lol. Hang in there, it will hit him all of a sudden!

OMG! We live outside Philly, so the Eagles are, of course, his favorite team. I'll have to mention this to him.

And I have to admit, all your replies got me all teary. Thanks so much

 

my DH was absolutely convinced that it just had to be two boys. well, then at 20 weeks we found out one was a girl; the other was still a mystery. he was a little disappointed at that point, because even if the other WAS a boy, they wouldn't be id.... so then we find out at 24 weeks that the other is a girl as well! all he kept saying was, 'i'm not completely convinced that baby A is a girl... " well, last week, she proved it again (even printed out a picture of both their labia next to each other! ), and he finally ADMITTED he would have liked for at least one of them to be a boy. he's still excited, but, you know... but i'm not worried, cuz i know that once these girls are born, his heart will just melt and he'll forget all about his boys! your DH just may do the same! hang inthere!

 

Peter ALWAYS wanted a boy, and when we found out it was twins everyone thought they were boys, and I mean EVERYONE! His mouth was hanging open at the u/s when they said 2 girls! I thought he would be dissapointed, but as soon as we got home he was calilng everyone and in a very excited tone was telling them that we were having identical girls! Now I think that there was a part of him that was dissapointed for a bit, but now? They are SUCH daddy's girls! Seriously wrapped so tightly around there fingers it's almost annoying lol. "oh mommy didnt cut your veggies up enough, let me do it", or the other day when they were both suggled up to him on the couch watching football, and threw the worlds biggest tantrum when he went to the store! He eats up every second of it!

 

I'm having 2 girls and this is also my first pregnancy and I think we were both a little disappointed when we found out we were having 2 girls. There are NO boys on DH's side of the family, and our girls make 6. (Our babies will be the first grandchildren on my side) and I think that he figured since both of his brothers have all girls that at some point SOMEONE in the family has to have a boy, right? Well it's not going to be us! I was really hoping for one of each because I don't think I want to have any more children, but after we found out we were having 2 girls I said we could have one more to try for a boy, but now DH says he is going to be happy with the girls and doesn't want any more children! (I think it's because he's afraid we'd have a 3rd girl) He would never admit to me that he was disappointed, but I think we both were a little bit.

 

We have two girls, our first and only. I think originally we both hoped (knowing that this would likely be it for us) that we'd have b/g. And yes, DH did almost immediately think of the costs (weddings, etc.). But it wasn't long before we were both really happy with it and as it turns out we're BOTH glad that we have same sex twins (I'm sure I'd be happy with b/g too) -- AND glad that they are girls.

 

Our oldest is a girl and just wanted to tell you that ever since she turned 5 she wants her Dad for everything! He eats it up of course. But the phrase Daddy's Little Girl, is so true!

 

First of all, CONGRATS on the girls - I think they are a blast and love every minute with them.

Second, my husband was extremely upset as well with the prospect of girls. He was not able to be there for the u/s and consequently DID NOT BELIEVE ME. Even looking at the pictures that the tech gave me that morning, he did not believe me. I had to MAKE him go to a follow up u/s so that he could see, with his own eyes, that there were not only two babies in the but that they were both girls.

14 1/2 months later I don't think he would have it any other way. Give him some time, he'll warm up to it.

Alexis

 

congratulations! we have two boys on the way. my dh was disappointed when the u/s technician told us two boys. he really wanted another daughter. i think men are different, they feel entitled to want the gender they want and show disappointment if that's not what happens. but we women understand the fragility of pregnancy (especially those of us who've undergone fertility treatment) moreso than men, and i for one, would never want to 'jinx' myself for not being grateful for whatever gender i'm given. dh has definitely come around, though, and is now happy that it's two boys.

your dh will see how great girls are. there is nothing like that the relationship between a (good) dad and his daughters. he'll see....

 

QUOTE(tgbmomofthree @ Sep 25 2007, 12:37 PM) [snapback]422932[/snapback]
i think men are different, they feel entitled to want the gender they want and show disappointment if that's not what happens.


Funny you should say this. It does seem like men are that way. I always tell my husband now, that he was the one that determined the sex of the babies. He's the one that produces x and y chromosones.

 

He'll come around. While my DH didn't show disappointment, I know he would have really liked at least one of them to be a boy.

But he is the most awesome daddy ever, and those little girls have him wrapped around their fingers. He'd not change his 2 girls for anything in this world now. And he's been pretty good about figuring out all the "girlie" stuff.

Our girls are from IVF as well.

 

My first was girl, and at the sono my husband was visibly disappointed and of course quickley got over it and wouldnt trade Sophie for anything in the whole world. She loves fishing and working on his truck with him, and riding 4-wheelers, what more could he ask for? Well, this time around he was holding out hope for a boy and thought that we at least doubled his chances of one by having twins...he honestly told me he would cry right there at the doctors office if the sono tech said two more girls and I said I would punch him in the face right there in the doctors office if he cried! Well my husband lucked out because we are having one boy and one more girl! I got to tell you though I am a bit nervous about having the boy, I dont know what to do with a boy. I am sure I will figure it out.
Dont worry, I promise your husband will love his little baby girls more then anything in the world!
Congrats, by the way!

 

These girls will be my dh's first and he is excited! He was emotional when we found out they were both girls. He has never had a need or want for a little boy to "carry on the name" or anything. He's always wanted a little girl for "daddy's little girl" All of his friends have girls too.

I have a boy from my previous marriage so I was hoping for at least one girl! So we are extremely happy. I'm sure your dh will come around and then wouldnt be able to imagine it being any other way.

 

I'm a father-to-be of twin girls and am unspeakably excited! In fact, I wanted a girl before I even knew the sex (or the amount) of the fetus(es). When I found out we were having twins, I jumped for joy, especially after finding out that both were girls. Oddly enough, I smiled to myself the other day when the Eagles beat the Lions -- I was thinking how cool it would have been for me and my twin girls to be jumping around the living room cheering for the Eagles.

 

We found out we were having twins just shy of 20 weeks but didn't find out either gender since both had crossed legs. So, we spent 4 weeks until the next u/s building up hopes of b/g twins. I really wanted a daughter and was hoping for a little boy for DH. When we found out it was two girls, DH actually cried after we left the peri office. It was a big let down for him. He's a firefighter too and got all sorts of ribbing about having two girls. Now, they both have their daddy wrapped around their little fingers. He's very happy with his two girls and doesn't want to try for a boy.

 

I have to admit that DH wanted girls and I was the one disappointed that I was having two girls (horrible I know, I cried when the u/s tech told us it was girls). But I have to say that having girls is great and neither of us would change it for the world.

 

QUOTE(erinh56 @ Sep 25 2007, 09:18 AM) [snapback]422485[/snapback]
Well, we have two girls already (4 and 1) and when we found out that we are expecting TWO MORE girls, he was upset/aggravated...which was really disappointing to myself. BUT, once he realized "how cute they'd all look in their Philly Eagles cheerleading uniforms, he sort of perked up a little bit..lol. Hang in there, it will hit him all of a sudden!



wow i swear u just described my life except my girls are five and just turning 3 and i am also expecting 2 identical twin girls... my husband was like he really wanted aboy but he is happy they are healthy and tahts all he can ask for

 

QUOTE(Ange2k25 @ Sep 25 2007, 11:56 PM) [snapback]423741[/snapback]
When we found out it was two girls, DH actually cried after we left the peri office. It was a big let down for him. He's a firefighter too and got all sorts of ribbing about having two girls. Now, they both have their daddy wrapped around their little fingers. He's very happy with his two girls and doesn't want to try for a boy.


OMG! This has been DH's same experience. His friends are finding out and calling and laughing and telling him "good luck" in that snide sort of way, etc. I feel so bad for him. Why his "friends" have to be such *****, I have no idea. I guess it's just their way.

DH has definitely come around, but hasn't gotten to the jumping for joy stage yet

Thanks again, Everyone!

 

for our first we were both surprised that it was going to be a girl..and I think we were both a little disappointed to be honest. But I'm sooo glad i had a girl first!!! For our twins, I was really upset to be pg with twins in the first place. (don't shoot me...I'm a twin and grew up with "all things twin" and just felt very strongly that "God would never do that to me.") anyway...from the moment I found out it was twins I just said in my heart..."okay God you'd better make sure one of these is a boy!!!" thankfully, for my mental state I did have b/g twins...I was just parinoid that if they were both girls I'd be really pressured into having another child for the sake of having a boy. And I didn't want the pressure. Well, here's the funny part..we're having another child anyway!! And this time I was convinced it would be a boy. At my 11 week u/s the tech even guessed boy and I thought "I already knew that!" Well... fastforward 4 weeks...at my 15wk check the tech says "it looks like a girl." and I almost fell off the table. I was bummed even before she said that b/c I knew when she did the leg measurement that I hadn't seen anything "down there"...so I was just waiting for her to confirm it. Anyway...it took me a week or more to get used to the idea of having another girl. It's not that I wasn't excited about a girl..it was just that it wasn't my vision for my family..and I felt like I had lost my "other" little boy...KWIM??... I still almost feel like something is missing... so LOL we might have another!! ha ha... anyway..this time around dh just laughed when I told him it was a girl...he was thrilled from the beginning...but I think once they have a frame of reference for girls they feel much more happy about it. I know more than one woman whose dh was so bummed about the first being a girl..and then for the second really bummed that it turned out to be a boy instead of another girl!!! so attitudes can really change once the guy gets that baby in his arms.